Losing a horse ...

maxapple

maxapple

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ome of you may remember me. I posted 3 months ago when i had my old boy put to sleep.....

Well today i decided to take my other horse (who i've had for a year) to my frind who does sales livery. It was a tough decision, but i don't think i got over losing my boy max and its just never been the same with my new one. she is such a sweetie, and i am very sad, but i know its the right thing to do.

i just wondered about other people's experiences. Do you think i just need a break from horses for a while? At the moment i don't think i;ll ever own a horse again
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Sorry to hear you have had such a bad experience. From what you say it sounds like you desire a break so I think follow your heart. Once you have got some distance from the trauma of losing your other horse you may return to horses.

I have not had this experience yet (and I dread the day it happens).
 
I lost my old boy 3 months ago to due to liver failure. I miss him everyday but ive now decided i miss what he gave me and i want that again, and now ive got to find it!

I personally wouldnt want to give up horses, there is no way that would help me but i can understand if you dont want to have them, its totally up to you and how you fell. It took me a while to not cry every time i saw his stable empty but now i just think about all the fantastic times i had with him!
 
We lost our lovely boy of 23 years, 5th January 2007, a day that will be with me forever, i had the pleasure of knowing him since he was five. We miss him deeply, My mare know lives alone and sometimes i think she looks so sad that i am considering getting her a small campanion!!! The saving grace of all of this is that she obviously picked up some of his traits and it causes much amusment and found memories. I think you need to be guided by your heart, my thought is if i lost her, that would be it for me. But hopefully that is a long way off. Theres no right way of coming to terms with it. Take Care
 
I had a break of a year when my Glory was PTS. Then I slowly just got back into it and now am totally back to normal
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Hope you feel better soon xx
 
I lost Catembi at the end of Feb this year after a 6 month, hard fought battle with Crohn's disease. I went through every possible emotion from not wanting to ride again to wanting another horse asap, with it changing from one minute to the next.

I've now had my new horse for 6 weeks. He is a carbon copy of Cat with v similar breeding and a lot of the same mannerisms. I am still waiting for that special bond to come, but then I had Cat for 4 1/2 years and were as close as it's possible to be, so I don't suppose it's going to happen overnight.

Unfortunately there are no guarantees with horses, and it's hard to get so attached when it's devastating if things go wrong.
 
I started to ride a horse when I moved to Derbyshire and it was my first horse since I was a teenager. He nervous type who had issues being caught and many other things. But in a short space of time I worked with him and won him round for the owners. I rode him everywhere and they offered him to me on loan after a couple of months. We were just sorting the agreement out when he got colic really badly and had to be pts. My world dropped out and I could see no future without him. I have to thank my OH wholeheartedly for his support in the following days but he could not console me and felt helpless. So he got papers and magazines only a week after and encouraged me to look at them and go out to any that might be nice for me. I went along with it because I needed to 'do' something and 'action' is always a positive thing. I did not think for one minute I would want or commit to any of these horses, how could I? How could I think of replacement?
But a friend soon found a horse (another Welshie) advertisd in Wales and my OH sent off for some photos of him. Need I say that I fell hook line and sinker for him, when I rode him he made me laugh out loud for the first time in weeks...the rest is history as he is mine and I am very happy. I will never forget my dearest horse that was not to be, I always think of him...a happy ending perhaps...I hope you find one too.
 
Thoughts are with you, Maxapple. I lost my wonderful horse (had him since a 3yr old) 2 years ago at the end of this month - I rushed out and bought another horse on the rebound because it reminded me of him. Not the right horse for me and vice versa and it did not work out. In retrospect and IMO you need time to get over the loss of both your horses - perhaps ride other peoples and think of what you want in another horse. I made the mistake of trying to duplicate some of Mr B's traits and got it wrong. The horse i have ended up with is lovely and very different from Mr B. I will never be able or ever want to replace him - he was unique. I have begun a different chapter with this horse. Good luck and it is worth carrying on to own your own - lots of new experiences and you have given another horse a chance to have a lovely life with you!
 
I think you have to do whats right for you, everybody if totaly different and theres certainly no wrong nor right.

For me who lost my special boy a week yesterday I don't want much of a break just a few weeks while i'm busy with work experience. I'm veiwing one today, only a project mind far far off a Dermot replacer. Because I will never replace Dermot and I don't want to. I would kill to have him back but then the way things ended I feel some guilty relief. I think if he'd pulled thought it would be unlikely he'd be fully well, I would don't crave a unwell horse. However I let myself have the odd dream about him making a full recovery and how lovely that would of been.

Life right now is so crap a new horse would bring something positive and exciting, something to look forward to in my life again. I feel its a waste of time sitting at home, I need be back on the yard doing want I do. Luckly I did have this work experience because it's kept me busy, seeing lots of yards, horses and people I come home nackered each day. I know when its over things will soon feel very empty and I will want this horse break over.

I was lucky in a scene because Dermot had been unwell for quite a while, so not only did I aways have that niggling feeling that something was horrible wrong the last few weeks but I didn't have the shock of one day putting my all into a bright, happy, fit compition horse to having nothing. Over the last week and a half I was caring for him less as he was in recopitation field to rest and so vets visits and giving him food, drugs and attention where my main role then in last week he was in intensitve care at the vets so my role was merly to visit him as often as I could in the day.

I have to admit I've done how I cope with alot of things, bottled it away and try not to visit that topic, unless I bring it up in my robortic reply to how I lost him I'm sentive on the topic and change the subject. It is very usurel and I think if I ever have to let a horse go I would ask to see him go...I feel I left Dermot in that stable in the vets and logicaly I still feel like he's there. I do cry myself to sleep most nights so I am greivng. I try to think of him as the full well beautiful horse I remember him as months ago that I crave, I think of this fit, well covered in superb conidition horse cantering, leaping, bucking, and happliy grassing with a small heard in a lovely pasture just above me which I know he could of never of been with me. I remember him by the times he did me so proud.
 
i think its up to yourself. i lost my 13 month old foal 2 years ago and in all honesty if i did not have her mum i would have never set foot on a stable/yard again....it was very hard to go down to the stables the next day and see everything as it was the day before but had to think of my mare as she had lost her daughter. my friend lost her horse on the same day at the same yard and has never had anything to do with horses since, she wont even come down and see my mare . its a personal decision and i think you will know what to do yourself. i have never bullied my friend to come and visit and have left her to make her own mind up regarding having/being near horses again, she has had horses since she was a kid so is strange not having her around them now............but you never know what will happen in the future she may well get another. time will help you heal so follow yur heart and dont let anyone tell you its for the best to 'get back on the horse' you will now whats best for you.
 
I lost my girl 2 years ago and I met her when she was 2 days old and lost her at 21, it was the worst day of my life and still haunts me but I have her 5 year old son who basically kept me going, I notice all her little mannerisms have come out in him and I've posted regarding a weird mark that she had and that he suddenly aquired the summer after she was PTS. He had an op for kissing spine last year and I went through all the emotions when he had his aneasthetic and I decided if I should lose him too I'd probably give up horses, however he's coming on nicely so I'll be in the horse world for a bit longer!
 
i have found little things coming out in mum that she never did before!......she used to be fine with rugs stand still not pull faces or anything. foal used to try and bite but never connect, mum does that now, foal used to always tip her carrots out of her feed then eat them last even if i mixed them in,mum always used to eat it mixed into her feed and mum has been tipping them out to!!it all started about a month after foal was PTS and has carried on since!..........mums at stud now so like you with a bit of luck i will be in horsey world for a long time!
 
I know exactly how you feel. I couldn't face having another horse for a while after I lost one very suddenly, I was far too paranoid about another accident but time does heal and you'll know if and when you are ready for another horse, and the right one will be out there waiting for you to find each other.
 
thank you for all your lovely messages.

Myt horse was only on sales livery for a week - and the 1st person that came to see her fell in love with her and bought it. Its a lovely family and i know she is going to be spoilt rotten & i know it was the right thing to do.

I'm going to have a bit of time out - perhaps ride friends horses / half loan and i'm sure in the future I will buy a horse again. for now i just need to get used to not having max and not feeling guilty anf giving my other horse not enough attention!
 
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