Losing contact

Sprat

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I am a habitual contact loser. I love riding around with reins like washing lines, it’s my happy place.

I know that’s not the right thing to do, and when at home or at my instructors, and I keep the contact, everything is bloody wonderful.

However. When I compete, I can get ‘the nerves’. Mare gets tense and horrible in the gob in comp environments (because of aforementioned nerves from me, also - monsters in new places) so my go to is to eek out the reins until I feel comfortable (i.e. can’t feel her at all) and she can slop along losing all the energy out of the front end.

I use continental reins, so there is really no reason that I should continue to do this. I’m concerned that if I keep the contact while she’s tense, it will all end up tense and horrible. But I won’t know until I try and put this into practice, but for the life of me I can’t keep my bleddy reins!

someone must have a pearl of wisdom or two for me??
 
Markers on your reins! Either coloured electrical tape or rubber bands work quite well. I use the reins with stoppers from Henry James Saddlery.

Also think about keeping thumbs on top to stop the reins slipping. Also an habitual rein slipper here. Time, practise and concentration is key!
 
I keep looking at the Henry James reins, are they much better than standard continentals? I think my current reins are Whittaker ones. Good shout on the electric tape though, can’t hurt to try!
 
I keep looking at the Henry James reins, are they much better than standard continentals? I think my current reins are Whittaker ones. Good shout on the electric tape though, can’t hurt to try!
Couldnt give you an exact comparison but i do feel the notches in my hands which helps me identify how wonky I'm feeling that day. Perhaps borrow a few friends reins to see if another thickness would feel more comfortable for you?
 
Sometimes in a competition situation we have to compromise to keep the relaxation and flow.

You say that you keep letting the reins out but what happens if you start with a longer rein (note longer, not loose and flappy) and gradually bring them shorter as you work in? You do want just the right amount of tension in the horse, too little and they are flat, too much and you lose relaxation. It's a fine line. Shorten the reins just enough to feel that first bit on tension and then ride well forwards and do a few transitions or a bit of lateral work.

Dont do what I did the other day and shortened my reins by a couple of inches just as I was about to trot down the centre line! It was not helpful! :D
 
Are you sure that you don't need the longer reins to counteract your tension.

I am talking in a physical way.

When you are relaxed your shoulders move freely, so low and move around the back of your rib cage.

When tense, your shoulders will be high and scrunched back. Ergo, your arms will be a 'shorter' distance from your body. Then the reins need to be longer.

Rather than mark the reins, I would, when mounted at a competition, do some shoulder exercises, scrunch them right back and up and hold them, then relax. Repeat a few times. Make sure they travel in their normal way. Then the reins will sort themselves. Plus the horse will be able to move.
 
I know that’s not the right thing to do, and when at home or at my instructors, and I keep the contact, everything is bloody wonderful.

So, I think you need to look at this more holistically. You need to be riding at the competition as close to how you ride at home as possible. I would ask your instructor to work on this with you and to work on a warm up routine that is tried and tested at home and that you can then go and use in the competition environment also. Get used to it so that you can do it on automatic pilot and it becomes your and your horses "safe place". If you both know how the warm up is going to go, you should both be able to relax into it whatever the surroundings. If you find that particular things go wrong at competitions through tension or whatever, ask your instructor to work with you on a few optional adaptations to the warm up routine to counteract those tendencies. So, again, you have a plan in advance for those eventualities. Really work on this, so you are able to ride at the comp as you do at home. It shouldn't feel wildly different either to you or horse, then you will both be more confident in the work.
 
Wheels & Red - yes, very good points. And I suppose with the longer rein / relaxed shoulder to start, I won't be restricting her moving forward. Then I can begin to pick up the contact. It's defensive riding from me as she can have a good old oggle and spook at all sorts so my go to is to cling on.

Leandy, I have spoken to my instructor about a warm up plan, and while we have touched on the sort of feel to aim for (which, clearly I'm still not getting), we haven't gone as far as setting out a plan, movements etc. Really valid and something I need to sit down and work out with her.

Hindsight is a great thing isn't it. I watched my last comp video and while it wasn't horrendous, I can absolutely see where I'm losing marks. As we've stepped up to Novice now, I really need to be able to contain the energy and get that hind end push for the mediums. It's difficult as a lot of the time I compete alone, or Husband comes with me, who is completely non horsey so wouldn't have anything constructive to say
 
I'd agree with wheels and red. Start on a longer rein and then pick her up slowly.

I am schooling a horse that can be strong but is used to having a string bit in his mouth and then having it yanked on so sticks his head in the air and gets really tense if and throws himself around if you try to pick up a contact, he expects the yank. I ride him in a French link and have to start on a long rein, getting him stretching down then pick him up slowly as we warm up, otherwise I spend the whole ride with him fighting my hands.
 
I like the idea of riding in longer reins first but still think it's important you don't drop the contact, because for her, that maybe scary too and creating a few extra monsters in her mind because mum's gone. Open your hands wider, so you can still feel the connection, even on the longer rein. Check your elbows are bent so your not blocking with stiff arms.

I also agree having a warm up plan Is good for you and her. What excersises do you do at home to warm up? Transitions, circles, leg yielding do it at home each time, then do it when out. As said above, it'll give you both comfort but be prepared to be flexible when out because of other competitors ?

Last suggestion is visualisation. Two things here, when it's all going right during your lesson what word could you associate with that? Pick a word, it can mean anything then have a think what does that feel like, what does it look like, what do you hear, what do you breath like. When you get to your competition, say that word to yourself and remind yourself what your expecting to see, feel, hear, breath like etc. Example is, I chose show jumper, it doesn't mean anything to anyone else but when I'm at home and it's all going well, I feel like what I think a show jumper looks like (relaxed, flexible, really effortlessly getting the movements out of the horse). It's a mental kicker to remind me of what I want it to feel like (what success to me looks like).

Other visualisation technique is, Can you visualise your test/warm up etc. What do you want it to feel like and what often happens/goes wrong and then what will you do to change it. Ride the test or the warm up in your head, ride every movement and think what you need to do to ride it how you want it. Visualising and practicing in your head let's you think it through in the comfort of your home, it gives you the time to think without the emotions. By doing this, when you get to your test you've already "ridden it" a fair few times, you've prepared and you're on the forefoot ready with a plan for when you or she does some of the things you've mentioned above.
 
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