Loss of confidence and where to go next

muddy_grey

muddy_grey

Well-Known Member
Joined
15 October 2007
Messages
1,510
Location
Kent
www.*******.com
I appear to be aiming for the longest post ever! I promise I cut out about 4 paragraphs.
I would never profess to being an amazing rider, but I would have said I was half decent. I have previously competed up to 1.20m, backed many horses and worked with and exercised fit 4* horses.
At the end of 2014 I got a fabulous 3yo mare, she wasn't expensive, but was a lot for me to spend, to hopefully SJ. She was pretty easy to back and is beautifully mannered on the ground. As a 4yo we mostly just hacked as she was quite weak. She is a bit of a drama queen and the nappy steak has shown itself before though never with any success and has been quickly dealt with.

2016 we went to some BS shows and a couple of dressage shows where her lowest score was 66% so it was a pretty good year. At our last show in Sept she seemed to loose confidence for some reason. She can get a bit spooky which results in a leapy idiot canter, which when jumping obviously causes problems as we get to the fence without enough power which resulted in some horrible leaps. We decided to spend the winter training and leave competing for a while.
In August 2016 I started getting nerve pain and numbness in my left leg. After various treatment the pain has now gone, but the numbness appears permanent. I therefore have no feeling on the inside of my left leg from knee to ankle. Over the winter things seem to have gotten worse and I have lost my confidence. I do not feel unsafe and am not scared to ride her at all. It is a loss of confidence in my ability and I feel that I am ruining her. My jumping position which has always been pretty good has fallen apart. I am sitting up way to early and not getting forward enough. If we are a bit wrong to a fence then I freeze. My instructor has been brilliant and since December we have been working on jumping small fences with canter poles so I don't have to worry about the stride with me in an exaggerated 2 point seat and focusing on me. My position is a bit better, but my confidence isn't.
They have all been acting up a bit lately and the occasional buck and leap doesn't bother me. She has a massive buck, but has never got me off. My confidence has been ebbing since last year and I know I am second guessing myself in the saddle. Most recently she has started to nap. My instructor is pushing us, so I guess it is harder work and she has found a hole in my riding and is exploiting it! She doesn't nap towards anything, it is just a random no. This has happened twice now in lessons once jumping where I wanted to turn a circle mid course and she didn't want to and then yesterday on the flat trotting a circle. I kick her on and make her go the way I have asked, but she will repeat this at the same point of the circle multiple times, with decreasing effort. My instructor rode her between the two incidences and she didn't try it with her. She did say she felt like a coiled spring and very tense to start though. Both these were on the right rein and when she tried it on the left I easily corrected her so the circle had a slight bump, as opposed to an appendage on the right rein. I think this points to my left leg controlling her when it is my outside aid, but I don't really know how to fix it. Today I tried really hard to think about where my left leg was today, as I can't feel it and we had no outbursts, but I don't think I was pushing her hard enough to cause one. I am now even more in awe of the para riders out there.
She has also become very tense to hack. She has done loads of hacking and is pretty solid all traffic, dogs etc have never been a problem and I used to really enjoy it. Hacking at current yard is crap and mostly road work, there is no where to have a decent canter and the best bit of off-road (still not great) has a field of youngsters next to it that go crazy when other horses ride past. Even my friends older horse gets upset so it is a no for us, as she has issues with others (I deleted the section on this). I do not have transport so can't box to hacking. As the weather was nice I went on a longer route the other day that I haven't done for a while and she was so tense it really wasn't enjoyable for either of us. She didn't actually do anything wrong, but was flinching at the slightest sound. She also cannot cope with hacking with more than 2 other horses. She bucks on the road in trot, which she would never do on her own or with 1-2 others. This means we often have to hack alone, which is fine.
She recently had her teeth done and her back is looked at regularly, but she is due and this is booked. I had to get a new (2nd Hand) saddle in August 2016 she broke the tree on my old saddle and I couldn't find anywhere to repair it. I don't really like my current saddle and I wonder if the problems with my position are partly due to the saddle, but then that just seems like an excuse and I don't really have the money to get another. The saddle fits her fine and I don't think the problem is with her because she is fine when my instructor rides her. I feel like she has lost confidence in me and so have I.

So far my thoughts are:
1) Sell her to someone who isn't crap. I don't really want to because she is lovely and if we can sort it out then she will be perfect for me, but I wonder if this would be best for her
2) Just get instructor to ride her, but for how long? I can't really afford this long term and want a horse I can ride. Also should I still hack her in the meantime as instructor doesn't have time to hack.
3) Move her back to first yard for a months holiday? I can't move her back full time as lets just say there is a reason it has lots of space! Also although the hacking is lovely most people have left so I would be hacking alone again.
4) Get the vet out? Seems pointless as she is fine with instructor and I don't think it is physical
5) Buy a new saddle and hope it magically fixes all my problems ;)
6) Have some school master lessons? Not sure where and how many I could afford, also the thought of riding in front of a stranger makes me queasy
7) Sit here feeling miserable and ask strangers for advice (obviously this is my current choice)

If you made it to the end of that epic tale, I have a variety of biscuits and ice-cream available as I went to the supermarket after my lesson yesterday feeling depressed which was a bad idea
 
I would look into getting a saddle that your completely happy with get her back checked over and then maybe take a few steps back with the jumping for a while to get your confidence back, there is nothing wrong with this everyone has a wobble from time to time maybe get your instructor to ride her once a week for a while, I would stay where you are for now spring is just around the corner and this just makes everything with horses seem easier I thint you are being incredibly hard on yourself.

I had a period the end of last year where I just lost the ability to ask for canter on one of my horses he went through a stage of bucking and it just shook my confidence and I was over thinking everything and over riding, but with a little help with lessons and not expecting too much I am almost there.
 
muddy_grey said:
I appear to be aiming for the longest post ever! I promise I cut out about 4 paragraphs.
I would never profess to being an amazing rider, but I would have said I was half decent. I have previously competed up to 1.20m, backed many horses and worked with and exercised fit 4* horses.
At the end of 2014 I got a fabulous 3yo mare, she wasn't expensive, but was a lot for me to spend, to hopefully SJ. She was pretty easy to back and is beautifully mannered on the ground. As a 4yo we mostly just hacked as she was quite weak. She is a bit of a drama queen and the nappy steak has shown itself before though never with any success and has been quickly dealt with.

2016 we went to some BS shows and a couple of dressage shows where her lowest score was 66% so it was a pretty good year. At our last show in Sept she seemed to loose confidence for some reason. She can get a bit spooky which results in a leapy idiot canter, which when jumping obviously causes problems as we get to the fence without enough power which resulted in some horrible leaps. We decided to spend the winter training and leave competing for a while.
In August 2016 I started getting nerve pain and numbness in my left leg. After various treatment the pain has now gone, but the numbness appears permanent. I therefore have no feeling on the inside of my left leg from knee to ankle. Over the winter things seem to have gotten worse and I have lost my confidence. I do not feel unsafe and am not scared to ride her at all. It is a loss of confidence in my ability and I feel that I am ruining her. My jumping position which has always been pretty good has fallen apart. I am sitting up way to early and not getting forward enough. If we are a bit wrong to a fence then I freeze. My instructor has been brilliant and since December we have been working on jumping small fences with canter poles so I don't have to worry about the stride with me in an exaggerated 2 point seat and focusing on me. My position is a bit better, but my confidence isn't.
They have all been acting up a bit lately and the occasional buck and leap doesn't bother me. She has a massive buck, but has never got me off. My confidence has been ebbing since last year and I know I am second guessing myself in the saddle. Most recently she has started to nap. My instructor is pushing us, so I guess it is harder work and she has found a hole in my riding and is exploiting it! She doesn't nap towards anything, it is just a random no. This has happened twice now in lessons once jumping where I wanted to turn a circle mid course and she didn't want to and then yesterday on the flat trotting a circle. I kick her on and make her go the way I have asked, but she will repeat this at the same point of the circle multiple times, with decreasing effort. My instructor rode her between the two incidences and she didn't try it with her. She did say she felt like a coiled spring and very tense to start though. Both these were on the right rein and when she tried it on the left I easily corrected her so the circle had a slight bump, as opposed to an appendage on the right rein. I think this points to my left leg controlling her when it is my outside aid, but I don't really know how to fix it. Today I tried really hard to think about where my left leg was today, as I can't feel it and we had no outbursts, but I don't think I was pushing her hard enough to cause one. I am now even more in awe of the para riders out there.
She has also become very tense to hack. She has done loads of hacking and is pretty solid all traffic, dogs etc have never been a problem and I used to really enjoy it. Hacking at current yard is crap and mostly road work, there is no where to have a decent canter and the best bit of off-road (still not great) has a field of youngsters next to it that go crazy when other horses ride past. Even my friends older horse gets upset so it is a no for us, as she has issues with others (I deleted the section on this). I do not have transport so can't box to hacking. As the weather was nice I went on a longer route the other day that I haven't done for a while and she was so tense it really wasn't enjoyable for either of us. She didn't actually do anything wrong, but was flinching at the slightest sound. She also cannot cope with hacking with more than 2 other horses. She bucks on the road in trot, which she would never do on her own or with 1-2 others. This means we often have to hack alone, which is fine.
She recently had her teeth done and her back is looked at regularly, but she is due and this is booked. I had to get a new (2nd Hand) saddle in August 2016 she broke the tree on my old saddle and I couldn't find anywhere to repair it. I don't really like my current saddle and I wonder if the problems with my position are partly due to the saddle, but then that just seems like an excuse and I don't really have the money to get another. The saddle fits her fine and I don't think the problem is with her because she is fine when my instructor rides her. I feel like she has lost confidence in me and so have I.

So far my thoughts are:
1) Sell her to someone who isn't crap. I don't really want to because she is lovely and if we can sort it out then she will be perfect for me, but I wonder if this would be best for her
2) Just get instructor to ride her, but for how long? I can't really afford this long term and want a horse I can ride. Also should I still hack her in the meantime as instructor doesn't have time to hack.
3) Move her back to first yard for a months holiday? I can't move her back full time as lets just say there is a reason it has lots of space! Also although the hacking is lovely most people have left so I would be hacking alone again.
4) Get the vet out? Seems pointless as she is fine with instructor and I don't think it is physical
5) Buy a new saddle and hope it magically fixes all my problems ;)
6) Have some school master lessons? Not sure where and how many I could afford, also the thought of riding in front of a stranger makes me queasy
7) Sit here feeling miserable and ask strangers for advice (obviously this is my current choice)

If you made it to the end of that epic tale, I have a variety of biscuits and ice-cream available as I went to the supermarket after my lesson yesterday feeling depressed which was a bad idea
Click to expand...

A few things jump out at me.how on earth did she break the tree in your saddle.Sounds like you might have a prolapsed disc which is causing the numbness you describe sciatica.Are you sure you are not holding her back jumping example holding her with your hand sbut kicking with your legs. You say she bucks and leaps.this is not normal behavior.You say you are 'crap'.If you think this you wont ride toyour full potential.You are obviously worrying about this and when you get onher this passes down the reins.This might alos be true if your instructor gets on okay with her but youdont. If you freeze at a jump instead of pushing her on she will do a silly leap.I would get a registered physio to look at her and a proper saddle fitter and after they have ruled she is okay to ride book a lesson with another instructor just for them to give you there opinion.There's no point in my opinon getting an instructor to ride yoru horse more than on the odd occasion as it doesn't help you out long term.Above all be kinder to yourself.there are enough people who will happily chip away at your confidence or belittle you in life as it is without youadding to the mix.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Thank you for the comments. One of the bits I left out was that her issues with other horses, which are definitely fear based, resulted in her falling over out hacking while trying to rear when a group of horse galloped across a field towards us (on other side of the fence). Luckily she went sideways and neither of us were seriously hurt. We think when she got up she must have rolled onto the saddle slightly and broken the tree. I don't know as I was under her feet so I was in full jockey tuck at the time so couldn't see. She was fine and so was I other than a few cuts and bruises it was my wallet that hurt the most. New saddle, hat and breeches needed. I wonder if this was the first dent in my confidence. She very rarely rears maybe 4 times in all the time I have owned her, but on 3 occasions has lost her balance. She is just really bad at rearing and kind of sits down and goes sideways. All have been in very similar situations with loose horses she is scared and wants to run away, but is too scared to turn away and the result is she feels trapped and goes up.

I have had a barrage of tests and I have on going back problems, but they say there is nothing that is causing the numbness. Disks are a bit spongy, but not interfering with the nerve. I also have substantial arthritic changes in the facet joints of the lower spine, but again wouldn't cause numbness. I had physio and osteo which despite no diagnosis did stop the awful pain, but not the numbness. I have since tried acupuncture, but this didn't help either.

I do not consider the occasional buck/leap abnormal behaviour especially at this time of year. She might do a max of 3 per session mostly only one and they are not nasty at all just a yeehaa. She is not the only one on the yard exhibiting the joys of Spring.

I don't hold her into a fence, if anything I don't have enough contact or leg. The freezing only started over the winter as my confidence has ebbed. I have the physio booked. Her saddle definitely fits her and was checked fairly recently, I just don't feel right in it. I might have a chat with the OH and see about getting a different one. I just don't think my riding deserves/warrants the money.

She is definitely picking up on my feelings, but it feels like a vicious circle. I feel less confident, she reacts to that and my confidence dips again. I have never felt like this before. Last year I helped a friend with her nappy horse and had it hacking alone within 2 weeks.
 
muddy_grey said:
Her saddle definitely fits her and was checked fairly recently, I just don't feel right in it. I might have a chat with the OH and see about getting a different one. I just don't think my riding deserves/warrants the money.
.
Click to expand...
there you go again.Utter tosh. stop putting yourself down.Think the rolling on the saddle may have hurt the back.
 
The saddle was broken in July last year and she has seen the physio since so there are no lasting effects from that.

I just feel really bad as it is such an expensive hobby already and he never complains, he wouldn't buy himself a bike saddle for £20 so I got it for him as a present.
 
Sounds to me you need a break. If you can I'd either send the horse to a pro to be worked, or a yard that does grass livery 24/7 as part of a herd.

What is your horse being fed on? Could she have ulcers?
 
As the better weather arrives could you turn her completely away for a few months?

This would take some pressure off and in that time you could look at getting your position and contact through your numb leg sorted on a horse that perhaps isn't going to be so sensitive.
 
I have cut back her hard feed, not that she was getting much and has she rarely runs out of hay so I don't think it is ulcers. Also she doesn't show any of the symptoms.

I don't know of anywhere locally that offers grass livery and with her issues with others I don't think I would be happy turning her out for a short period with a herd. Also I feel a bit like turning her away on a bad note is bad.

There aren't any pros locally that I would be willing to send her too. I know a lovely eventer, but he is a long way away and would cost a lot. Also I am not sure he would give her back!

MadLady that was my thought about school master lessons, but I don't know anywhere. There was a lady advertising on FB recently but when you clicked the link the site didn't work. If anyone knows of anyone offering this in the East Kent area please let me know. Would be happy to go as far as Maidstone.
 
It does not seem right that there is no reason for your numb lower leg. I would be asking to see another specialist as you don't seem to be getting to the bottom of the cause. From what I have read in your post you seem a very competent rider and should not put yourself down...Gee...if only I had half your skills ...oh and a horse...Be kind to yourself...

Shirl
 
How about a few lessons on a mechanical horse to build up your confidence in the saddle with nothing else to worry about and then can work on your position too. Could also trial different saddle brands that the centre own on the mechanical horse to see if there's something better suited to you.
 
What about having a lesson on a simulator? I know there are no jumping ones in kent but perhaps even a dressage lesson will allow you to be more aware of what you are doing with your leg with no risk of bucking or rearing. theres a really good place called sparrows last in Headcorn don't know if thats too far though?
 
OP have you had a scan to determine what is actually going on with your back and leg? I ask as I have had probs with my left leg for just over a year and have just had the results of an MRI and am now seeing a physio, having 1:1 pilates with the physio (and she works with riders). My confidence has always been fragile but my leg has definitely not helped. I have also found having the right saddle is imperative. i cant ride in a dressage saddle anymore , I found my legs just dont feel as secure as they did and consequently, my seat. Im hoping Im on the up now with the physio and my back issue (prolapsed disc) has settled and stabilised.
 
Yes I have had MRI's of back and leg. Back has problems, but no nerve impingement.

I hadn't thought of a mechanical horse, I am sure they have come on a lot since I rode in a demo at badminton when they first came out and couldn't keep it in the dressage arena. Headcorn isn't a million miles away so I could try a couple of sessions.

I think I will definitely look into a new saddle too. And my SIL in sending me some Bach remedies as she works with them so worth a go.

Thanks for the suggestions.
 
Muddy Grey, a couple of points. Would you mind if I ask what age you are? I ask as people's nerve definitely decreases with age. I say this from my own experience and also from selling horses as an agent and dealing with lots of riders in their forties and fifties. It's actually a hormonal thing, changes with age often lead to increased anxiety so we're not so keen to ride the sharp types we did in our teens.

This is a hobby, it's supposed to be fun. There are lots of excellent, competitive horses with lovely, easy, sensible temperaments - unlike you're mare, no offence intended. I just sold a horse to a British amateur event rider. Just broken and with the right rider he could finish up 3 star, oozing talent and with the sense and temperament of a gypsy cob. I'm not exaggerating, that's how quiet and easy he is, but loves to be forward the moment he's asked for it.

I think you have the wrong horse and should consider selling and getting something straightforward to ride. This sport is too expensive to be stuck with something you don't enjoy and aren't managing. The way she's going now she's more a pros horse and you're not a pro. There's no shame at all in selling and getting one that suits you better. You'll be doing the mare a favour and letting her go to a pro with a great nerve - that's their job after all.
 
No offence taken Irish gal. I am in my 30's. I don't feel I have lost my nerve, like I said I am not scared to ride her at all, I just don't feel confident in my ability and that I am letting her down. I have only fallen off her 3 times and 1 of those was not her fault.

She is not badly behaved, but the issues with other horses are a work in progress, In my original post there were more details about that, but it was way to long so I deleted it. She is now fine with other ridden horses it is just loose horses when out hacking. I have been in contact with her breeder and her damline are all nervous of others, but she seems to take it to the extreme.

I had a straight forward horse before her (who I also backed), she was far less talented and for some reason I never really liked her. I never got off and thought "that was crap" but equally never "Wow" she was always OK. Before my confidence issues when L and I got it right it was amazing and I was buzzing when I got off. Selling is a possibility, but I don't know if I would be able to buy another good horse without the same feelings of inadequacy, but I don't think I could go back to OK either
 
It basically boils down to the same thing MG: a loss of confidence in your ability means you can't ride confidently or to the level you're capable of and you're nervous. Sounds like it from what you said about jumping position.

You're last horse was straightforward and not as talented. All I'm saying is that there are very talented straightforward horses out there.

Right now you're nervous at times (from what you've said) she's green and can be nervous. It's not a good combination. I reckon you would benefit from riding a straightforward horse to get your confidence back again.

It's how to do that and keep the mare, could be tricky. Somebody, like a dealer could be interested in an exchange with you. Sounds like you don't want to part with her so don't know what you can do.

One thing that I find great for anxiety is a acupressure technique called EFT. Very simple and quick to learn, and videos on YouTube. It takes the emotional charge out of situations so might improve the confidence issues. Hope the situation resolves for you - it's not an easy one.
 
It is a circle you are going in with the confidence, she doesn't trust you and is taking control of the situation because you aren't. My horse did the same thing when I had no confidence, he wanted a leader and I wasn't being one, so he took on the role and reacted to everything in his way, not my way, which meant we went sideways a lot from things that scared him. Its better now that I have most of my confidence back, but if I waver even slightly he will take advantage again and go sideways. Its getting out of that circle that is the problem. Maybe you need to speak to a hypnotherapist or psychologist about this. I had hypnotherapy which helped, but its my head I have to reprogram as such and only I can do that as it doesn't seem to want to listen to professionals.
 
muddy_grey said:
I don't feel I have lost my nerve, like I said I am not scared to ride her at all, I just don't feel confident in my ability and that I am letting her down.
Click to expand...

Even if you feel that do you think your horse honestly thinks or cares if you are letting her down? They live for the moment.all this talk about potential this potential that's all rubish in my opinion.everything has a potential to fulfill a role.if the riding role is not fulfilled or is not to the standard youwant the horse doesn't suffer.all she cares about is a warm stable and hay to eat and a field to roam in.she is not bothered if you don't have a showing position or you don't know what the aids are for leg yield or shoulder in.she may feel a moment of confusion but she doesn't think "oh my rider is letting me down"
 
I would take her off all feed except hay, no supplements, no treats, no chaff, nothing extra at all. You may well find that feed is the root of all her problems, even a tiny amount can upset a horse that is sensitive to a particular substance, I have had horses that have been intolerant of just about everything you can think of over the years(fortunately not all the same horse).
Then i would get a saddle that suits you as well as the horse, if you are not comfortable in the saddle, you won't ride well and you certainly won't feel as if you are riding well.
Look at this from the horse's POV, she deserves to have a rider who is comfortable in the saddle, who can help her to overcome her fears.
 
Thank you for the replies again. I had a long chat with OH last night and he was so lovely (not that he isn't usually, but he is in NZ at the mo). I have contacted a couple of places to ask about school master lessons and am waiting for replies.
I have decided to buy a new saddle and my mum reminded me that I have an oboe I haven't played in 15 years, sat in a box that would give me a fairly decent budget!
Of course she was a gem last night, but I think feeling like I am doing something made me feel more confident?

Peralsasinger I can't take her off all feed as she is in a barn with bars between the stables and it would be very unfair to not feed her when she can see the others eating. I think YO has some readigrass so I might try giving her some when the others are fed and seeing if that will do.
 
Hi, I just wanted to add that if you could get on other horses and remind yourself that you can get a tune out of them it would increase your confidence. are there others on your yard who would let you school their horses now and then? I have weekly stage 3 lessons at an exam centre alongside riding my own and riding all sorts and doing a decent job of it has really boosted my self belief. xx
 
What you say about having lost confidence in yourself as a rider as distinct from being afraid to ride or of your horse really struck a chord with me.

You are a much more competent and experienced rider than I am, but I can totally identify with the over thinking and self doubt and how that can spiral. In the depths of last winter I was in exactly the same place that you are now, mentally and emotionally. I don't have any of the physical stuff going on that you do, and my horse is a great deal more straightforward than yours. But he is young and insanely talented and I became a bit overwhelmed with it all. I am surrounded by professionals and highly competent amateurs and although I know it's silly, it's impossible not to make some comparisons. Also my last horse was quirky and complicated and looking back, although he taught me a great deal and I treasure the time I had with him, his tendency to graphically point out all my weaknesses as a rider probably did dent my confidence and self belief.

Anyway, as I said, just over a year ago I was in a bad place. My lovely sweet horse was hollow and anxious, I couldn't even ride a 20m circle in trot at one point without him scooting off through his outside shoulder down the school. I was feeling pretty much as you are now.

Obviously I am still not the world's most amazing rider, but we are through the woods and improving. He is happy and relaxed and we are really starting to form a good little partnership. We even made our affiliated dressage debut recently, and nobody laughed at us or told me I had no right to be there!

The thing that made the difference for me was a new trainer. Not that the old one wasn't excellent, because she is. But the new one took no prisoners, wouldn't have any truck with any of my self doubt and over thinking, basically bullied me into thinking less and riding more, and doing it with conviction. That approach wouldn't work for a lot of people, and I am not saying that's what you should do. My point is that it's perfectly possible to come out the other side, and quite quickly.

Whatever the solution is going to be for you, a saddle that you feel comfortable in is clearly a no brainer! Never mind this rot about your riding not being good enough to deserve one, to get through a sticky patch you need to stack the odds in your favour!

Hey, if you decide to sell there's no shame in that, but it really doesn't sound like you want to. So you will find a way through and get it sorted.

Very best of luck, and please keep us posted?
 
Thanks for sharing Micropony it is nice to hear that you have come out the other side and are enjoying your horse again.

Trules I think going else where to ride others will be better for me as I don't want to ride someone's horse in front of them. At least a schoolmaster that is it's job ;)
 
I felt like you after my 2nd baby. I read a book called that winning feeling, which really helped. It got me thinking a different way about myself and how I view myself as a rider. It was never the horse it was me and it was all down to my perception.
Secondly there is a reason your leg is numb. Maybe you don't have a trapped nerve but you could have damaged them. I had an operation as a child and the area surrounding the site is still numb and weird feeling from the trauma. I have ignored it for decades (it's in my neck). Anyway I am seeing a Chriopractor here in America. I have seen Chiropractors in the UK before and didn't find then terribly helpful. I have been suffering with numbness in my left leg, arm since having my second baby and one morning I woke up with terrible dizzyness that got worse and worse. I nearly went to ER. Out of desperation I saw an emergency Chriopractor (a lot cheaper than ER!!!). Anyway as it turns out he is a specialist in cranial chiropractic and neurology. I had severe atlas and axis subluxations (top of my spine under my skull) that had affected the whole back even to my lower back and the sciatica I was suffering from plus it had affected my inner ear causing vertigo and restricted the blood flow to my brain. Anyway I have been having 2 treatments a week for 4 weeks now (I had 3 treatments the first week). I was sceptical at first but I feel 75% better. Not 100% as it has been a chronic issue that had built up over time until it got so bad I could barely move my head but the dizzyness has completely gone now, so has the numb left arm and the numbness in my legs is much much better. Apparently a lot of lower back issues stem from the neck but it takes a specialist in this area to treat it. I have seen a GP and Physio before who hadn't been able to help.
Anyway this could all be a moot point for you but I think you should open up the investigation into that numbness again. Do you get restless legs syndrome or anything like that? I think if you can get to the bottom of it that will help you not use it as an excuse to be nervous with your riding. Anyhow read the book That Winning Feeling. It's really good :)
 
Last edited:
Thanks you firewell I will order that book.

My Brother and SIL are both GP's and I spoke to them the other night and they said if I go to the GP they won't do anything. I have had all the investigations possible and physio which is all NHS will do. I will look into a chiropractor, I used to see an osteopath once a month as I have a sacroiliac imbalance and lower back pain. I also have curvature of the spine. The osteo wasn't really helping and wasn't cheap so I stopped, but maybe a chiro will be better.
 
I just wanted to second the new saddle idea. Switching saddle has completely eradicated the pain in my left hip/numbness in my left leg, after just two days of riding in it.

See if you can find a chiropractor who specialises in horse-riders. If you can find one who does horses as well as humans, even better.
 
Sorry to hear you're having a rough time - I've learnt myself confidence is just everything with horses and is so difficult to get back once it's gone!


I've been in a similar situation, my horse was off for a while and so I had to have a break from jumping myself, my actual ability to jump hadn't gone but my confidence was at 0. we started jumping decent tracks but I was getting no satisfaction from it, later realising because I wasn't truly confident in what I was doing and was over thinking everything, eventually my horse lost all confidence in me and started stopping, it was horrible! We had no partnership and I was just a useless passenger.
Anyway, what I found got my confidence back was all down to finding a new instructor - I had a good instructor before but he didn't understand lack of confidence and couldn't really work out what the problem was - my new one just gets this and succeeds to get me thinking again about what I'm doing without me even realising it - he constantly asks me engaging questions throughout the lesson, doesn't ask too much of us and I feel amazing at the end of every lesson, I'm now loving riding again, determined jumping and cant wait to take him to a show again. I really think it's all down to that instructor - I couldn't even ride my horse to the arena a few months ago and now we've been for a hack! sounds small but its just all the confidence in my riding he's given me again.

also, something that helped me with my jumping was counting the canter stride out loud (just 1,2,3) all the way into the fence - just so simple but can't believe the difference it has made!! If i'm just counting to 3 my body goes into auto pilot and remembers what it needs to do to jump rather than completely panic and freeze is something isn't 100% perfect.

It sounds like you don't want to sell your horse - if I were you I would just keep going, it really is possible to get through it and feels so great once you have!
 
I would suggest ulcers too. Although you say she doesn't have any of the symptoms, rearing, bucking, stopping, napping are all possible behavioural issues arising from a horse feeling uncomfortable as a result of ulcers. Definitely worth a second thought.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top