Loss of confidence, jumping or with myself?

[jesterfaerie]

I have recently had two minor falls from two different horses whilst in a jumping less, both times I got back on and carried on and had no further problems. I was unhurt and didn't feel too bothered by the falls. However I came to jump a schoolmaster who is just fab to jump and I didn't want to jump her at all and the thought of it scared the life out of me.

But thinking about it now I have always had no confidence when I have been in jumping lessons, but I am different if I am on my own jumping a horse.
I am starting to wonder if it is the lesson situation which is scaring me more than the actual jumping

Maybe it is because the other pupils are miles better and have bags more confidence when it comes to jumping than I have that is making me feel really cr@p about the whole thing I don't know.
Would you say it sounded like a confidence issue with myself, jumping or both?
And does anyone have any suggestions to help?

Thanks a lot.

 

[OrangeEmpire]

how about a private lesson? When I was having nerve issues a year ago, i couldn't bare to have other people around during my lessons as it made me so self-concious and therefore even more likely to make a fool of myself!!

A year on and my confidence is heaps better with or without an audience!
Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine in the end!!

 

[jumpthemoon]

If you are ridin gon your own you can go at your own pace and ut the jumps up as high/however you want them. In a lesson it's all decided for you, which I think is much worse! I'd have a private lesson and explain that you are not feeling so confident, so can you work on some basis to make you feel better. It's easy to lose your nerve with jumping, but with the right approach you can get it back again

 

[jesterfaerie]

Only problem is that to stay in the riding option at the uni I have to have the one flat and one jumping lesson a week.

Jumpthemoon - I think that may be the reason why I am confident on my own because I can stay in my 'safety zone' or come back into it once I have jumped a higher jump that normal or whatever. I am scared that I will get shouted at when I have my next lesson because right now I don't want to jump but I still don't think it was the falls which have knocked the confidence and the tutor is a good tutor but will make me do the exercise.

I will certainly try to get a private lesson, thanks a lot so far

 

[trundle]

Maybe if you can have a private lesson as well as the group lessons, and use the private one to work on the exercises from the group, that would help. That way, you'd be going back into the following week's lesson having worked on the exercises independently, which should help boost your confidence.

Good luck, anyway. I'm getting back into jumping after 25 years and its bloody terrifying !

 

[vicm2509]

When I got my horse 20months ago after an 8 year break I started having lessons on him. The instructor started pushing us too far. My horse had confidence issues and started stopping resulting in me falling a few times as the instructor totall overfaced him. This made me loose confidence and resulted in his confidence getting worse.

I swapped instructors and now I have loads of confidence with my own horse as she understood us both and worked on small jumps and teqnique rather than aiming him at big scarey jumps. I still get nervous when I know people will be watching or when I have to jump a course but once I get going I am fine.

I also do my BHS 2 course which is a group lesson. I have a fear of falling off all the time even when I know the horse can do it. This started after I got my confidence back, then I fell off a horse there which was my own fault. Thought nothing of it and got back on, now though I wont get back on that horse and I am always scared incase I fall off.

My instructor (who is the same one who gives me lessons on my own horse) puts me on nice horses so I can gain my confidence back. Its really strage as I know both me and the horse are capable, I am just terrified of falling, even though I have never had a nasty fall when jumping

Private lesson with an instructor who understands will definatly help you.

 

[WishfulThinker]

I can sympathize. I am the same as I measure myself against the others. Well I did until after loads of private lessons I achieved a 4ft jump (which to me I thought both Beau and I would never do). My friends and I get together and we will jump him, and put up weird jumps etc so we know what he will and wont do. And now in public or in a group when I canter into a jump I just think of that situation when no one was there and I know I can do it, he can do it, and to me the others arent there.

It's taken me a good few months though, and it is only on Beau. I havent jumped a different horse for over a year, but I feel that I can now and I want to.

Just explain to the teacher that you dont want to do too much, or that you arent comfortable jumping and they might not push you.

Plus just remember - it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks, or how good you think they are - they are probably bricking it to

 

[jesterfaerie]

[ QUOTE ]

Its really strage as I know both me and the horse are capable, I am just terrified of falling, even though I have never had a nasty fall when jumping

[/ QUOTE ]

TBH I think that is one thing that I actually struggle with. Touch wood I won't have a nasty fall but I haven't had one as of yet, the worst I have had was from a little pony when I was young (went into the post and rail fencing) but that wasn't in a jumping lesson.
I knew something was up last week when I was put on the mare who will jump anything from any stride, great confidence giver yet I really didn't want to jump her at all, she is lazy and I just didn't dare push her into the fences. So I know what you mean with you both being capable but scared to do it.

 

[BBH]

I hadn't jumped since I was a child and had lessons again about six months ago. I surprised myself at how my confidence grew but then had a horse which threw in a dirty stop and i ended up over his neck. I got back into the saddle and completed the course but found it difficult to enjoy as i realised how vulnerable you are. I haven't jumped since but if I did it would be to have private lessons on a horse who knew his job and was honest.

 

[jesterfaerie]

Beau, last week our tutor just told us to ride through any confidence issues we have so I am unsure if she would sympatize with me as she may just think I am being stupid about it, because I can do it.
My friend has suggested visualising a time where I jumped well or felt confident whilst jumping whilst I am in the lessons which I feel would work a lot if I could actually do it. I just stuggle to think positivly of anything (not just with riding) as I am just such a negative person that I don't feel I would be able to do it for my riding straight away if you get me? But from the sounds of it, it does work and can help people overcome confidence issues.
It is great to hear that you have achieved what you thought you woudln't do with Beau and I hope it goes just as well when you do jump other horses

 

[jesterfaerie]

[ QUOTE ]
I hadn't jumped since I was a child and had lessons again about six months ago. I surprised myself at how my confidence grew but then had a horse which threw in a dirty stop and i ended up over his neck. I got back into the saddle and completed the course but found it difficult to enjoy as i realised how vulnerable you are. I haven't jumped since but if I did it would be to have private lessons on a horse who knew his job and was honest.

[/ QUOTE ]

I had a year break from jumping before coming to uni. I did one or two little jumps on my little pony (a bugger to jump) before starting the course thinking that if I can jump him and feel ok then I can jump anything else and started the course with bags of confidence but they seem to have just gone (even before the falls). I agree, it does make you realise that you are vulnerable which in itself is a rather scary concept.

 

[Hullabaloo]

Totally agree with the private lessons idea if that is feasible for you. At my old yard I stopped doing group lessons for a while as I found it all ended up being about who could jump the highest. I'm happy to get round a 3' course, so don't see the point of frightening myself by jumping huge fences.

Part of your tutor's job is to help with your confidence issues by rebuilding your confidence, not telling you to ignore them so I would have a work with her and see if you can agree a way forward.

Maybe see if you would be allowed to build up a partnership with one particular horse for a while - one that gives you confidence.

 

[jesterfaerie]

I will have a word with my tutor to see what she suggests. It is just a bit difficult if we jump a course and I want it lower or something than it would waste time sorting it out for just one rider unfortunatly. Asking about jumping one horse is a good idea thanks Hullabaloo I will certainly enquire about that.
She just seems to be making things higher and more technical and demanding which is good but at the same time I don't feel confident in myself and my position to jump them, I would be happier just jumping grids and working on my technique right now which I think I may only get with a private instructor.

 

[OrangeEmpire]

re visualisation techniques - you need to practice. It is like a mental exercise - It won't work under pressure unless you've practiced before hand.

I find it works best just before I go to sleep to remember a moment when it all went well and it felt great. Picture where it was, the horse you were on, what commands you gave, how the horse listened etc etc.

Also you need to shift your focus away from the jump itself. Sport phychologists will tell you that you need to focus on something acheivable and tangeable, rather than the vague goal of going over a random jump. Try on your approach to any jump to break it down to small pieces - a good turn, a straight approach, straight on landing etc and make sure you congratulate yourself for each step you do right.

By acknowledging what you can already do well, you will help your brain be positive about the things you find more difficult.

 

[revilo]

I know exactly how you feel. I was just getting into jumping last year until my friend who I share a lesson with at our RS had a bad fall and pulled all the muscles in her back and broke her arm in two places (which was not detected until 2 wks l8er)

. Since then my confidence has just gone.

So i brought myself a body protector in the hope that it would make me feel a little more secure so that if I fell off I wouldn't (hopefully) get hurt so much. I have since fallen off a couple of times and each time I wasn't wearing the protector becuase I found it uncomfortable or i would get hooked on the back of the saddle becuase I wasn't folding at the right time and sitting up too early

. However that still hasn't cured anything, my nerves are still as bad so we have gone back to basics which I seem comfortable with, until the jumps are put up a little then I start to be negative about the whole thing again.

I would so love to jump a course of jumps and then hopefully venture out into our jumping paddock with small xc jumps

.

Its even got to the point where I am not giving so much with my hands, or I look down at the jump, fold too early or don't continue the momentum up to the jump and just fizzle out, its almost as if I am resigned to the fact that 'll never jump so why bother.

My friend has fully recovered and has came back to riding after being off for 4 months with said injuries and is now doing even better than I am and jumping bigger.

I know its all in my head and I do want to jump. Any advice from anyone would also be appreciated.