Loss of Confidence

Yes but just with jumping.
Feel free to PM me if you like
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Don't be embarrassed.

I feel that for many amateurs that confidence is a knife-edge thing. It only takes one or 2 'what we feel to be serious' blips to scare the living daylights out of us.

I've cried in a lesson not that long ago as I was so scared, that's how brave I am!!!!
 
I lost mine on my new horse yet was fine riding my other 2. Since June gradually building up what I am doing on him. Funny thing is apart from him throwing strops and threatening to rear (only about 1ft off the floor) he is much easier to ride than the other 2. Especially my oder horse who rears to full height - doesn't bother me on him!! stupid or what. Feel free to PM.
 
Spider - been there, done it and I'm just a happy hacker who took up riding when other women take up knitting! Like your other replies, I bet there's a ton of people who have been there too. Would it help to put some info on the forum in general? Bet you'd get tons of surprising confessions as well as a shed load of helpful tips! If not, feel free to PM me too x
 
Me to, I've had a wobble this past week after my friend came off and injured herself. Laid in the school for a while calling with no-one hearing her. Took me back to a little incident of my own a few years ago!

I reckon if a crisis of confidence is good enough for Pippa Funnel, its good enough for us! TFT with Jo Cooper is very good for this affliction I've found!
 
I'm sure most of us have experienced something like this. Many moons ago, I was thrown into a jump and hit it with my back. After this, I had to relearn to jump from scratch - trotting poles and everything! I have huge sympathy for anyone who loses their confidence - it's a long road back, but it IS possible.

Feel free to PM
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Isabelle
 
Feel free to PM me - I got to the stage where I couldn't even walk 50 metres on my horse. It really does happen to everyone at some stage.

Big hugs to you spider, you absolutely 100% WILL get over it.
 
Been there and done that. Please don't be embarrassed. I went from riding an explosive Arab in 50 mile endurance rides, to not being able to walk a cobby type along a local bridleway. By taking things one step at a time, I have slowly got my confidence back.
 
I am currently suffering from a lack of confidence - so much so that I am selling my horse and looking for something to help me get it back again - its really getting me down. I hardly ride my ned anymore and he doesn't really do anything at all is just a bit fresh.
 
Me too after a nasty accident, and riding is part of my job. Only just got it back, took nearly a year and I don't think I'll ever be as 'blase' about riding nutters as I was before. It happens to almost everyone at some point.
 
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been there and have only just got it back - feel free to pm

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Ditto - had terrible hacking troubles with my mare, and I wouldn't even trot on a hack for months. PM me if you want. x
 
Yes, after a bad accident I couldnt get on a horse for over a year. Well without feeling like I was going to pass out through fear/anxiety/terror!

Im happy to listen.
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Been there too, but for me it was mainly jumping, about 5yrs ago I fell off when a RS horse put in a dirty stop and I had an argument with the fence on the way down and broke my ribs and cracked my pelvis, but somehow I still jumped after that, then this year whilst looking for George I fell off a horse I was looking at whilst trying a tiny jump and broke my nose and finger - and that was it, total terror of jumping, even raised trotting poles and canter poles terrified me. But with the help of a v sympathetic instructor a few weeks ago I jumped a foot!

I am also scared to canter on a hack, that one is still a work in progress!

I think we've all been where you are to some extent, don't be embaressed, and I'm happy to listen.
 
PM me by all means - all through my riding life I have suffered from nerves
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When I got my little mare, Ellie, I suddenly felt I could jump the world - and we did some wonderful things that I never thought I could have ever done. Then we had a bad fall, both of us, in a lesson, and have not jumped since. After spending that time as mere happy hackers, last year I decided to give dressage ago, and we are both loving it! It is so nice to be able to go to a show without throwing up with nerves before hand, and without trembling as I go into the ring...I think the trick with a lack of confidence is to find something that doesnt give you 'collywobbles', that both you and your horse can enjoy. This may be hunting, it may be gymkhana! It may even be that you just want to take a step back and stop competing - certainly stop doing the thing that worries you most. Good luck! x
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I've lost my confidence a few times - to the point where I'm feeling sick and shaking at the very thought of getting on the horse. I'm usually convinced that all it will take is a little spook or a flick of the head and I'll be on the floor. It's daft but you can't help it. It takes a bit of time but it is possible to come back from it, and as I'm sure you can tell, it happens to most people at some stage
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There really is no need to be embarrased about it
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Feel free to pm me, too
 
Thanks everyone for your kindness. Also the people that PM'd me. It's made me feel so much better just to know that other people have been in the same situation. I think I will post as there are too many people to reply to individually.
My Welsh D who is usually a rather backward thinking "ploddy cob" is feeling the effects of lack of winter turnout, and has developed a habit of spinning round. I have cut his food to a handful of chaff and am looking for a yard with more turnout. Anyway I have come off twice in three weeks out hacking. The second time I hurt my shoulder and ribs. At the moment I can't ride faster than walk because it hurts my ribs and can't do a lot with my left arm, which he has realised and keeps pulling right. So we have been walking out on the road and in the school to try and give him some excercise. However two days ago I just couldn't stop crying when I got on. We went in the school and did some leg yielding and stuff and I felt ok at the end. Then yesterday I got on rode down one side of the school and he spun round and cantered off. I just got off and couldn't stop shaking. I know I should have gone back and had an arguement about it because he will just do it again, but I couldn't. I did get on outside and rode round the yard once then put him away. I've asked someone else to ride him today and I'm not even going up and I just feel relieved whereas usually I hate missing a day.
So now I don't know whether to try and get other people to ride him until I am recovered enough to be really positive with him or whether I need to ride everyday just to get over my nerves. I can't lunge as he is a pain and needs about three arms to control him! I did try to loose school once but he just kept spinning round and turning in.
 
Spider - yours is a tricky situation, and one that I have actually been in! I had a pony who also developed the habit of spinning round without warning, and I would always be dropped straight over her shoulder.
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i got so frightened of hacking her that I asked my then-instructor to take her out for me - she was a stronger, older and more experienced rider, and when the pony went to do it with her, she laid into her with her whip. Needless to say, pony didnt do it with her again! A harsh but swift lesson was learnt. Thing is, when I - trembling, lacking all confidence - got back on, she would try it on again, knowing I was too weak to stop her. I managed to pluck the courage up to smack her, hard, when she did it, and pull her round in a sharp circle, opposite direction. God, that horse taught me to stick in the saddle! It wasnt nice to hit her, but once I had the courage to discipline her (and got over my fear of being bucked off when I whacked her) she came round to my way of thinking.
I will just say, however, that we never really clicked - she was awful in the stable too, and would spin round when I was leading her out to the field
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Now it sounds to me like your boy isnt a naughty horse, he is just feeling fresh and has learnt that he can get the better of you. In my experience, a short sharp lesson may well be enough to teach him that it is no way to carry on! Maybe get another person to ride him, but be aware that he will need to learn from you that he cannot misbehave in such a way!
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I'm not the most confident of riders and worry about things un-necessarily, especially falling off and not being able to work or look after my horses since I fell off and broke my ribs early last year. I too have cried on a lesson and also out hacking because I've been so scared.
Try taking rescue remedy, also try not to let your horse know you are scared when he spins try to make him walk forward a couple of steps then get off if you are scared because at least then things will have ended on a positive note and slowly the two of you will be able to make progress.
Get yourself checked out at A+E if you haven't already done so, move to a yard with turnout, get horse horses health, tack, back and teeth checked just to put your mind at rest (I find this helps me be more determind to work through problems as you know there is absolutely nothing wrong with the horse). Find a quiet hacking partner or pay for a reliable RI to ride your horse for you and then when he starts behaving hop on at the end of the session when your horse is quieter as he is tired.
Try some groundwork as this really helped my Welsh D be less bolshy and improved our trust in each other.
You could also try contacting Jo Cooper or attending an NLP course such as 'enjoy riding'.
 
Spider, I would say your pony would benefit in the short term from having another rider ,just until you are recovered, as you are plainly in too much pain to be very effective at the moment. When you are better, how about taking some lessons on another horse, a schoolmaster, this could convince that you that you can still ride after all and you will go back to your pony with renewed confidence in yourself.

Good luck.
 
MisElz you have hit the nail on the head. Whatever I do in the short term I have to deal with the problem myself or he will always muck about when I am riding.
 
tabithakat - good idea to ride after someone else has ridden him. Think that would definitely more confidence to know he's had the edge taken off him. Thanks.
 
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