Loss of riding confidence...help?!

sparklypickle

sparklypickle

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Hi,
I had a fall a few months back and it's really knocked my confidence in riding. While out hacking, the horse I ride bolted and I tried to turn him to slow him down, but instead he started broncing side to side and threw me off, breaking my nose in the process. This happened a week after his field got broken into and he got quite spooked by it all, so of course I don't blame him for it. The bolting and broncing was totally uncharacteristic of him as I've been hacking him for over a year and only ever had one other bolting incident (quite reasonable...Someone threw a Frisbee behind him) where it was safe to let him burn a bit off before bringing him back under control.

The problem now is that as soon as he starts to feel a little lightfooted, I get really tense and expect the worst. Our hacking buddy got all fizzed up this weekend and I was convinced that we were both going to charge off into the sunset!! Hes a really lovely old boy at 26 years old and 99% of the time is an absolute angel.

Does anyone have any advice on how to build up my confident and trust again? To be honest I've gone from being quite a confident rider to now being afraid to canter him incase I can't stop him :( which is so sad because he loves to have a good blast and show off how young he feels inside! I ride him using the snaffle ring of a French gag (that he came with) but he hates the action of the gag rings, so I am loathe to move down a ring.

I would practise in the field by schooling him but he's so resistant to schooling he is stubborn and really hates it and I'm lucky to get a few strides of trot out of him in the field , let alone a canter!

Should I go for a lesson to practise canter on a slower horse in a controlled environment?
 
You say he hates the action of the lower gag rings, but what does he do?

I would suggest putting on a 2nd rein onto the bottom ring, then knot it on his neck. Then should you require an 'emergency brake' you have one to hand :)
If you can try to ride as often as you can, starting in walk and trot, sing songs as you go (yes, honestly!) use relaxing exercises - shrugging and circling your shoulders for example at the same time.
Then, when you ARE relaxed, go behind your hacking partner, have a good long trot, then push on a few strides in canter and back to trot.
Initially, I'd be asking for a few strides of canter then trot, then into canter again, keeping steady transitions throughout.

I hope you can work through this x
 
Your poor old boy has clearly had quite a fright and so have you and my advice would be to just hack him out (each day if possible) but only walk him for the next three months and get him and yourself back to his happy self. Make sure that anyone that hacks out with you is aware that you are just walking. Once you are more settled again then start a bit of trotting and then some cantering.
 
The Fuzzy Furry said:
You say he hates the action of the lower gag rings, but what does he do?

I would suggest putting on a 2nd rein onto the bottom ring, then knot it on his neck. Then should you require an 'emergency brake' you have one to hand :)
If you can try to ride as often as you can, starting in walk and trot, sing songs as you go (yes, honestly!) use relaxing exercises - shrugging and circling your shoulders for example at the same time.
Then, when you ARE relaxed, go behind your hacking partner, have a good long trot, then push on a few strides in canter and back to trot.
Initially, I'd be asking for a few strides of canter then trot, then into canter again, keeping steady transitions throughout.

I hope you can work through this x
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I think this is excellent advice. Nothing to add except as someone who also struggles with confidence my advice would be be patient with yourself. Youve had a nasty fright and its understandable that you have been shaken by it. Don't rush yourself to get over it. It will come. Obe day youll be out hacking and you will suddenly realise how far youve come :)
 
The Fuzzy Furry said:
You say he hates the action of the lower gag rings, but what does he do?

I would suggest putting on a 2nd rein onto the bottom ring, then knot it on his neck. Then should you require an 'emergency brake' you have one to hand :)
If you can try to ride as often as you can, starting in walk and trot, sing songs as you go (yes, honestly!) use relaxing exercises - shrugging and circling your shoulders for example at the same time.
Then, when you ARE relaxed, go behind your hacking partner, have a good long trot, then push on a few strides in canter and back to trot.
Initially, I'd be asking for a few strides of canter then trot, then into canter again, keeping steady transitions throughout.

I hope you can work through this x
Click to expand...

This is excellent advice!

If it's any consolation, you're doing better than me! I spent three years getting to the point where I could happily go hunting and even jump a few fences on the day, but my pony threw me on New Year's Day and I got hurt. It was quite a setback. I got back on a few times - once I managed all of five minutes in walk before crying and getting off. Another time I managed a 2 hour hack but he tried to 'race' a bus at one point (in spite of being incredibly good in traffic before my 'incident') and it did scare me.

You mention riding another horse - well, I did ride our very steady Connie and yes, it was fine. The best thing was that it helped me to relax.
But sooner or later I had to get back on my pony and I tensed up very badly. Yesterday I got as far as tacking up and then couldn't get on.
Today I've actually hacked him out so that's progress. But I am scared of him going into canter in case he throws me again.

I have to say that I'm doing various hypnotherapy-type exercises and they are definitely helping. There's a Paul McKenna technique called 'Havening' (there's a video of it on the web) and I find it's really good. But there are no magic wands. Good luck with everything and keep us posted!
 
Hello Fuzzy Furry,

thanks for your reply. When I use the lower gag rings, he throws his head around as soon as I take up contact and snatches for the reins :S

I like the idea of a second rein just for emergencies - I might try that on the next ride if I can find some spare reins. Also singing and shoulder exercises? they sound like a great ideas, that would calm me down even if not him :)
I'm more or less ok at a trot now after weeks of just walking. its fine unless I feel that he's keen to go up a gear - typically when we canter it's either very sedate and well controlled, or its basically a big exuberant race with his friend (which is absolutely fine and quite fun when I'm feeling up for it to just let him enjoy himself!) If I can manage the former, I should be able to do a few transitions, but if it's the latter (clearly this depends largely on the phase of the moon, the wind direction and the number of blades of grass in sight) then I'll just have to hang on until we've overtaken the other horse and his pride is retained! My worry is that the longer I don't canter him, the more likely he is to get overexcited and overenthusiastic when I finally do ask him to...

Hi Owlie,

Thanks for your reply - I know - the poor guy even spooked at me when I went into the field to get him that day...who knows what those people who broke in did? chased them around with flashlights while they tried to find stuff to steal I suspect :( unfortunately I'm not able to hack him every day, but I will continue taking him out and try not to rush into anything that might strain either of our nerves. He seems back to his usual laid back self now, but spring is almost upon us!
 
My confidence wavers all the time, and it doesn't take much to knock me back. You've done amazing to get back on, and also rationalising what happened which I think is an important step in the process. I really recommend a lady who is on Facebook for Rider Confidence (www.horseconfidence4u.co.uk I think). I downloaded the 'control your thoughts' hypnotherapy one, but there's lots of others, I think there is an specific hacking one actually. My horse seems to be super sharp and spooky at the moment, which I know is probably time of year / reduced turnout etc... but it's knocked me a little too as he's always been so chilled before. It's so hard not to tense up when you get 'that' feeling from them! Monty Roberts always says do a big exaggerated sigh to relieve your own tension, but also the horses. Good luck x
 
You've had quite a fright so no wonder you're nervous. I'll second TFF's advice. I ride my very strong boy in a Waterford 3 ring gag for exciting things. I too knot the bottom "emergency brake" rein and just pick it up if I can sense a battle approaching - usually when we see horses up ahead.

If you have a friend with a lovely calm horse who won't set yours off, stick to hacking with her for a while, and when you're ready to try canter, just pick up the bottom rein and hold it gently, you don't need to pull it but just holding it will give you confidence that you can stop - believe me, it does! Choose the right place to canter for the first few times too - up a steep hill is best, he'll be desperate to stop by the time he's half way up!

And singing really does work! It's impossible to be nervous belting out The Sun Has Got His Hat On - you feel too silly apart from anything!
 
Equine Dream, thanks for your encouragement :)

Nancykitt, I'm so sorry you have a similar issue :( sounds like you are a more experienced horsewoman than myself. I've only tried jumping once (on a different horse) since I re-started riding a few years ago and rather ungracefully and hilariously fell off so...I've decided maybe its not for me any more! Well done for getting back on board and for getting out there on a hack I know it's scary to be out in the open before you feel you can trust your pony again. I think I'm back to trusting my boy about 80% (I realise now that no-one should been trust a horse 100% because they are animals and they get frightened) I'm not sure about hypnotherapy but I am quite an anxious person in general - horse riding has been the time when I feel most relaxed normally but now that seems to have shifted. I'm waiting for some psychotherapy for anxiety so maybe that'll help me to keep nice and calm even if the "disaster" of a sprightly horse descends. And to think of all those times I berated him for being lazy...
 
I recently had a similar fall out hacking with my horse, when a window cleaner put up a ladder and spooked him in the middle of a road, and I couldn't get him to calm down or walk past it, so in the end he panicked and reared over on top of me. Miraculously, we're both fine, but I have lost all my confidence out hacking so I know how you feel.

I'd suggest hacking out as much as possible, just to make it natural and not a big deal to your horse and you, and keep it to a quiet walk for at least a few weeks. I think the canter will come back as you work on confidence in the other areas. Get 100% confident in walk, bringing him back to halt, turns and stuff first, just the baby things. Then work on a trot, slowing him down and speeding him up and stopping, just to reassure yourself that he will stop for you. And when you do try the canter, I'd suggest asking for two strides, then back to trot, then maybe three strides, then back to trot; just do a tiny bit so you don't have the time to panic and envision him bolting off with you. If you can stop him after three strides, then surely you can stop him after five, then maybe 10, and before you know it you'll be cantering normally again!

Good luck, we're in the same boat, so just remember: "Fear is a choice, it is not real." This quote always helps me when I knock my confidence.
 
Do you do much in the school?
I teach a lady ( who won't mind me talking about her �� ) who has a 5 year old ex race horse. She has had a real confidence wobble where a friend of her fell off and broke her back and then she came off 3 times in quick succession. I started teaching her and together we got the mare working correctly and her confidence began to grow. 4 weeks ago the mare went through a touch of the 5 year olds and started getting a little naughty and then took off with her out hacking. We have gone right back to basics, and by that I mean re establishing whoa and go and the mare accepting the contact and we are now back on track with the rider happily getting straight on and coping with any problems that come up rather than going into panic mode and freezing.
IT is totally natural to get scared, any rider who tells you they don't have the odd moment when they think uh oh is not telling you the truth!
Go back into an area you feel safe, re establish the boundaries and don't be too hard on yourself.
 
Hi Becks, thanks, a big sigh eh? it's worth a shot! I'll have a look at the horseconfidence website that you recommended. I refuse to let this silly worry ruin our rides out because its not fair on this lovely boy, or on me!

Annaagain - oh god! the sight of other horses ahead turns my insides to jelly these days since my friends pony tanked off with me chasing a couple of horses down a gravel track the other year! happy times! my lad normally perks his ears up a bit and stands a bit prouder and wants to barge over and say hi but he wouldn't RUN to see them...I hope.

I guess my apprehension over using a second rein is that if I DO have to use it, I'm afraid I'll get ejected sideways again...
 
Dapplegrey - that sounds terrifying...but you give really good advice. I'll try some transitions while out hacking and give him a chance to remind me how awesome he is :)

Glamourdol - These days I don't do anything in the school unless I have a particular aspect that I need help with - like when I needed help keeping my stupid legs from shortening at canter... sorry that that lady got her nerves shot after such a lot of hard work, but great work on getting her confidence back on track.

I must say that it is really reassuring to hear that so many other riders have this kind of issue every now and then and I'm not just being a total wimp. Horses freak out and riders fall off all the time and appear to just get back on and pretend nothing happened....I finally concede that I am not invincible and my steed is in fact not a unicorn, so we have to tackle the reality of taking things slowly and surely.
 
sparklypickle said:
I guess my apprehension over using a second rein is that if I DO have to use it, I'm afraid I'll get ejected sideways again...
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The good thing about it is that you shouldn't have to pull as hard on it, so he should be less likely to react like that.

The other thing you could try is one of the these clinics http://www.msjump.co.uk/ . He made me realise my horse wasn't difficult to stop, I was just setting myself up for a battle every time. Now 9 times out of 10 I can stop him with just my voice and body position and he can be VERY strong. Don't get me wrong, he still has his moments (hence the emergency brake!) but I'm much better equipped to deal with them now. The friend who came with me had given up XC on her horse and only jumped indoors as his lack of brakes terrified her but she'd now doing it all again.
 
I have been that person absolutely terrified to hack because my horse tanked off with me in canter twice. It took me a while to get over it, but now I'm a reasonably confident hacker and enjoy it a lot. Things that helped me were:

- taking the pressure off myself and realising that I did NOT have to canter on a hack if I didn't want to/feel up to it. I didn't even have to trot, or go off the yard at all. Taking everything slowly at a pace you feel comfortable with allows you to push a little bit more every time.

- hacking alone, at first with someone on foot to cry to if things got terrifying, as it was in company that my boy got silly.

- singing or talking to the horse when I felt nervous to regulate my breathing.

- getting off at some parts where I felt like a loss of control was imminent, and remounting when I felt able to later

- building up slowly to hacking in company again, at first with 1 sensible hacking partner, then 2, 3 etc etc. I still don't hack out in silly company and would rather go myself than with certain people who have no regard for other people's limits.

Really the key is just to take the pressure off yourself, take it entirely at your own speed. Maybe you never want to canter out hacking again, and that's okay. It did help me to ride a different horse, I went for a trek on a tiny Exmoor pony and cantered/galloped around hills and open fields. This reminded me that going at speed could be fun and not terrifying, and I had the added bonus of being much closer to the ground than on my 15.2 gelding. Not sure riding the Exmoor in the school would have helped me much, as it was a hacking-specific issue I had.

Good luck!
 
Hi Atropa,

those are some great ways to get back in the swing of things.

I've already decided that if at any point I feel like I'm about to lose control I will dismount if I can. I've been told mixed things about doing this - like that you have more control from the saddle and that its bad to give in and dismount, but as this particular horse doesn't tend to be a rearer or difficult at all in-hand, I think I'd feel more confident leading him if things got hairy.

Luckily I get to go out every hack with the same other horse, who is largely sane and sensible with a few spooky moments but the two horses are field buddies too, so don't get silly with each other.I guess I could ask my friend to swap horses for a ride but hers was a bit hyper last time and that puts me off - I agree about the floor being closer feeling safer as 15'2 is a long way to fall. Having said that I did break my wrist falling off a 13' highland...
 
Its a horrible feeling when you start to lose your confidence, I have lost mine a little as horse is obviously feeling very well at the moment and is restricted to walk work whilst he gets better. you can only do so much walking in a menage without driving both of you crazy and he has taken to jogging on hacks to make life more fun :(

Not only that but he having serious spooks at things when I do ride him in the school which hasn't helped by the weather lately, windy by us. It feels like it won't be long before I taken a nasty tumble. I am putting my air jacket on every time I ride now.

Do you have an air jacket or body protector you can wear? Is there anyone you could ride with? Can you have an instructor or friend to give you support?

At least you have admitted you have lost your confidence. Well done, if only more would admit this, then at least they could ask for help.
 
sparklypickle said:
Hi Atropa,

those are some great ways to get back in the swing of things.

I've already decided that if at any point I feel like I'm about to lose control I will dismount if I can. I've been told mixed things about doing this - like that you have more control from the saddle and that its bad to give in and dismount, but as this particular horse doesn't tend to be a rearer or difficult at all in-hand, I think I'd feel more confident leading him if things got hairy.

Luckily I get to go out every hack with the same other horse, who is largely sane and sensible with a few spooky moments but the two horses are field buddies too, so don't get silly with each other.I guess I could ask my friend to swap horses for a ride but hers was a bit hyper last time and that puts me off - I agree about the floor being closer feeling safer as 15'2 is a long way to fall. Having said that I did break my wrist falling off a 13' highland...
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I was told mixed things too about getting off mid ride, e.g. it teaches him that if he misbehaves he gets out of work, it will make him more excited, but it was definitely the right decision for me as I had no qualms about leading him but was on the verge of having panic attacks approaching open fields on his back, and at one point had a total meltdown mid hack after he had taken off with me for the second time.

Once I had gotten over the fear and confidence loss I realised how much my nerves were affecting him, but that is sooo much more easier to say than to put into practice! I had over 2 years of hacking everywhere and anywhere both myself and in company with this boy after getting over my fears, so there is hope!
 
Sparklypickle. There is an excellent animal behaviourist (equine) close to me if you need any further help. She is both a qualified instructress (equine) and also a vet. If you want her contact details let me know.
 
atropa, that is good to hear, Im so glad you got your nerves under control. panic attacks on horseback are not something ever wish to experience. they are bad enough when you are on the ground!

Owlie - thank you for your kind offer. I will see how we get on in the coming months, but I will bear in mind that there are professionals out there who can help if things get too scary for us both :/
 
Sparklypickle, I'd also say that now I've got over that initial period of fear I'm now much quicker to get over confidence knocks. .I know I can as I have before, so hopefully you might that too! But I used to be so hard on myself, thinking I was a failure because other people could just hop on their horses and gallop off here there and everywhere, whereas even the thought of it made me break out in a cold sweat! Be kind to yourself, and keep us updated :)
 
Applecart, sorry didn't see your reply earlier.

I wear a body protector EVERY time I ride. My mum made me promise (even though I'm a grown woman of 33!).

I do ride with a friend and she is understanding about the fact I'm still a bit nervy, and always says it's fine if I want to turn back at any point and always goes at my pace, but I feel like I'm holding her back from being able to go faster on her horse :S. It's ok while the ground is squelchy but as soon as the ground gets nice...but then hopefully by then I'll be less anxious.

Mmm jogging on hacks is exhausting and not a favourite pastime.

Thank you all for being so understanding and supportive. I'm actually quite overwhelmed as I sort of expected to be told I'm just inexperienced or wimpy.
 
Thanks Atropa,

That makes me feel a whole lot better :) I've got my stupid boyfriend in one ear telling me that horse riding is too dangerous and I should stop, but honestly the horse I ride is a real diamond, he's not a problem horse other slightest, and spooking and accidents happen with the best horse and rider though. I'll feel much better once in over this nervy spell and know I can cope, you are absolutely right. Boyfriend is just jealous of the horse.

I'll pop back and let you know how I'm getting on.
 
My horse chucked me off from flat out gallop a couple of times, and it did knock my confidence a lot. It took time, but I'm now back to hacking and cantering confidently.

IMO, the key thing is to overcome the point where past scenes of distress run through your head (almost like a video loop), getting your adrenaline up, anticipating trouble. That's easy to say, but much harder to get done. It needs many, many trouble free repetitions of a similar situation to "overwrite" those old memories with new ones.
Two things that helped me a lot were: ground work to rebuild trust between my horse and myself. He chucked me off because he was pretty out of his head, and I think he lost some trust in me, just as I did in him. Also, by having a horse on the ground that follows me through thick and thin, and stands like a rock for me to get on and off, it makes getting off and leading in dicey situations a much more positive alternative. It's really important to avoid the spiral of rider getting nervous - horse gets nervous - rider gets even more nervous. The ground work made me confident that I could handle pretty much anything from the ground, so getting off and leading gave me a chance to get my heart rate down again if I felt we were starting to spiral.

The other, really, really helpful thing were lessons. My gelding was quite unbalanced in canter at the time of the bucking episodes. I did a lot of schooling work, leading up to canter work. Slowly but surely, my thoughts went from "canter = bucking" to "canter = [all the comments my trainer gives me during lessons: must concentrate not to collapse in hip, more weight through the left leg, don't throw away the reins....]". This really transferred to hacking. When I started cantering again on hacks (initially either alone, or with steady hacking companion), I'd be thinking much more about how to ride a nice canter out of my horse than whether or not I could feel him tense up under me, whether he was trying to get his head down etc.

My gelding was not best pleased with school work! In fact, he was (and still is sometimes) quite hard work. But it also made me think really hard about why he doesn't like schooling, and what I could do to motivate him (little jumps, "play" on trec obstacles, frequent stops to rest/reward...). I don't overdo the schooling - no more than 30min once a week. But I think having the instructor to make me think over other things than "worst case scenario" over and over while cantering was a huge help.
I also wore a body protector for 3 years without fail. It was definitely part psychological security blanket (kept the nerves down). I stopped wearing it one day at a Trec in 30C heat, and now wear it at times, but no longer feel that I need it to feel confident cantering.
 
My horse lacks brakes at times (and is quite a stresshead so I do a lot of singing ;) ). One thing my instructor has asked me to do is to breathe in deeply when I ask for halt or a downward transition. This a) ensures I am still breathing and b) improves my posture so I sit up more. It is still a work in progress but I am planning to try to get to the point where a deep breath is all we need to stop!
 
Oh I so hope you get your mojo back mostly for me. My horse spooked and bolted in October. I got Broncod off to the right and as luck wasn't with me my left foot got trapped in the stirrup. I can't recall this but I asked my trainer.
I am sat here with an external fixator on my leg (TSF) and have recovered from a burst L3 and heavens only knows what I will do with my boy when I can ride again or what colour my confidence will be.
I may end up with a big dark bay equine pet.
 
Hello sparklypickle! I think you're in good company, almost everyone I can think of loses their confidence at some point, and it's a really good thing to learn how to build it back up again ^ ^

I missed whether or not you own the horse you ride out on?

Speaking as a former sharer, losing your confidence on a horse you don't own has its own challenges. Not only are you pressured to get it back and worried what it means, you also have to deal with outside pressure from the owner and pretty much everyone else who thinks it's their right to tell you how you should be riding. Even if you're not just the sharer, when something happens to make you lose your confidence it can be a bit like sharks scenting blood in the water and suddenly everyone is putting in their two pence and telling you how to do things. Ignore them all - I know that's far easier said than done, but one of the major tricks to getting confidence back is learning to ignore people sticking their oar in. You don't need anyone's permission or anyone's approval. If you want to ride the first half a mile and walk two more with the horse in hand, go right ahead. It's rarely a straight line there, sometimes it's one step forward two back, but you will get there eventually if you take it at your own pace and do it your way.
 
Thanks supsup, that's a lot of useful tips. The video loop is pretty much the problem. I need to get lots of positive memories inbetween it and me so I can focus on those.

Moleskins mum, oh you poor thing. That could easily have been my fate too...a broken back and leg?!! I hope you heal up soon and find something fun to do with your horse even if you don't feel like getting back on board.

Fattylumpkin (what a name!) I don't own the horse, he belongs to my friend. I don't really feel quite the degree of pressure that you describe but the current problem is that his other rider has been unable to ride for some time, leaving me to be his sole rider (though someone new is trying him out tomorrow :)) so if I don't feel up to riding him this week, I have to deal with two weeks worth of energy (or laziness..heh) next week..

Thank you very much for the encouragement.
Today I went over groomed and decided, you know what? It's extremely windy and our riding companion is dancing all over the place, so actually, you know, today, I don't want to ride. I'll be too nervous.
I think it's the first time I have done that but I think it was the right choice. Afterwards,I had my riding horse following me around the field in search of polo's and wondering what he'd done wrong (or right) that meant I hadn't boarded. Moments later a killer plastic bag attacked his companion and all hell broke lose. I collected said bag and commenced desensitisation...it took about 10 mins to go from charging to the other end of the field huffing and puffing to both of them rummaging noses into it. Glad I wasn't on board then.

Big dafties.
 
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