Lost Confidence or wrong horse?

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Bedford Joy

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Question for all, have you ever had a loss of nerve/confidence as you felt your horse might be too much for you? What did you do about the situation? Have any of you stuck with it and managed to sort out your issues, or have any of you decided to sell and find a more suitable horse?

I have a beautiful 12 year old TB who I was riding last year all be it only once a week, until I had a fall (my fault not hers) and ever since my confidence has dropped and dropped and now I'm not riding her at all. I ride my other 20 year old ex polo pony who is very quiet and I'm really happy riding her but at 42 and with 3 children I dont know if I have the confidence or the desire to try and tackle my nerves on a horse that I really feel is too much for me now.

Help :-) x
 
I thought I had bitten off more than I could chew last summer with my mare but I persevered and regained my confidence. What helped me was support from friends and family (I was nervous hacking so if I couldn't find a friend to hack with my mum would come on her bike) and a fab instructor who knew have me a well timed boot up the backside and lots of encouragement.

Perhaps if you have a little support network they could help you get your confidence back? X
 
i think you answered your own question. It is so important to have a confidence giving horse. You have enough on your plate with three kids - horses should be your enjoyment time. Some horses are lovely but just not the match you need at the time. If I was in your place I'd have no qualms about selling and getting one that was a pure pleasure to ride.
 
Thank you peeps for your replies, I think if I were 20 years younger I would have a different view on the situation but I am 42 and I do have 3 children aged 8,6 and 2 and I run my own business so I need a quiet horse that is happy to plod about a couple of times a week and I fear my 12 year old mare is not that. I could have lessons and persevere but if I have a fall when she spooks or takes off then it could cause me so many problems, I have to admit I really look forward to riding my old lady but I actively avoid riding my 12 year old mare and that speaks volumes, why not let her go to a more suitable home and find another plodder like my other mare and look forward to riding them both. The decision would be much easier If I were not so in love with her :-(
 
Maybe worth finding someone with the view of your 20year younger self? You might even find someone you know who wants to take her on? If your not happy and if you've got three kids who are still very dependent on you, your nerves are not going to help you stay on board, it's maybe not worth risking hurting yourself.

Ask around and see if you can find someone local, or someone who can help build your confidence?
 
I completely lost my confidence on my horse a few years ago and tried everything to build it back up but nothing worked. After making the (at the time) heartbreaking decision to sell her I discovered it was one of the best decisions I've ever made as I've found my perfect horse who makes me happier on one of our bad days than my old horse ever did on a 'good day.' Hope this helps:)
 
My tb is lovely but we just never really clicked. Other people rode him and raved about him being amazing but I never trusted him despite him never doing anything wrong and being a lovely genuine horse

I persevered for eighteen months including very regular lessons but in the end it was making me question whether to just give up.

So on a whim I went and bought a Connie and we're having the best time together. In many ways he's much more difficult than my tb as he's very green but we are having the best time :D we're even jumped which I hadn't done in well over a decade :D

Tb is now out on loan with a family who'll enjoy him, and it's the best thing I've ever done. Turns out I'm just a pony person and I'm having a blast. Life is too short and horses are too expensive for you not to enjoy your hobby
 
Watching with interest. I am in the same boat. Mine is on the market, even though I love her on the ground. I wonder how long she needs to be on the market before I should drop the price/offer her for loan... Please keep us updated on what you decide to do as I don't think we are alone in our quandary!
 
I had a horse a few years ago.Loved him to bits but he frightened me to death to ride.Sent him to a selling livery who found him a lovely new home much more suited to him.I found a lovely new horse much more suited to me.Best thing I ever did for all of us.
 
Bedford Joy said:
Question for all, have you ever had a loss of nerve/confidence as you felt your horse might be too much for you? What did you do about the situation? Have any of you stuck with it and managed to sort out your issues, or have any of you decided to sell and find a more suitable horse?

I have a beautiful 12 year old TB who I was riding last year all be it only once a week, until I had a fall (my fault not hers) and ever since my confidence has dropped and dropped and now I'm not riding her at all. I ride my other 20 year old ex polo pony who is very quiet and I'm really happy riding her but at 42 and with 3 children I dont know if I have the confidence or the desire to try and tackle my nerves on a horse that I really feel is too much for me now.

Help :-) x
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I think your confidence is low and that only riding once a week is going to mean that it takes far longer to build up again, the horse is not going to be ideal for rebuilding that confidence so time to move her on to a suitable home unless you had the time or inclination to start again but in my view you would need to be riding her far more frequently, having lessons and spending time, you probably don't have, on really tackling the issue. If you are happy riding the other horse enjoy her and sell the tb.
 
snowstormII said:
Watching with interest. I am in the same boat. Mine is on the market, even though I love her on the ground. I wonder how long she needs to be on the market before I should drop the price/offer her for loan... Please keep us updated on what you decide to do as I don't think we are alone in our quandary!
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The answer to this may be in the way you are selling, price possibly is too high but the chances are the ad is not getting the right people to call or view, when selling a horse that is not suitable, for whatever reason, often means the ads are not very positive, just because it has not worked out for you does not mean someone else will not find the horse easy, sales livery as suggested above is often the best way to go, a fresh outlook and approach can make a huge difference.
 
I was sharing a 16.2 ex racer who the owner said is safe as houses and lovely to handle. But he would take the mick with me and tank off with me in the school and I fell off and lost my confidence. I got an instructor to come out and give me a lesson and he did exactly the same thing! Had he been my own horse I would have persevered with him (I had an inkling something was not right in his back) but given I was sharing him I opted to give up the share. I had a lesson a few weeks later at a local riding school and ended up cantering around the school and popping a few bounce poles, when I was petrified of even trotting the ex racer!

Sometimes I think it is the horse but you also need to ask yourself if you will be able to persevere and rebuild your confidence, as it's such an easy thing to knock. The fat you say you're happy to ride your ex polo pony makes me think perhaps you're not quite right for the TB.
 
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