keelind
Active Member
Hi guys, some outside advice or opinions would be really great. This is two very different issues combining into one and I'm at my wits end. It's mostly just drama from start to finish, so apologies for the wall of text and venting at you all. This isn't exactly how I wanted to make my debut on the forum 
In august I answered a local ad seeking a rider for a horse whose absent owner is at university and has no time for him. The horse does have a few problems the stable manager warned me about. He's a swedish warmblood gelding named Zack (I live in sweden, though I'm a brit!) and very sweet and affectionate around the stables, but he hasn't been ridden in so long he has become stable bound and also bound to his field mate. The minute he is out of sight of either he starts whinnying like mad. The stable manager also warned Zack is very 'sensitive' after a terrible experience - when the owner started uni she arranged for the horse to be sent to another stable yard to live with another rider on loan, and after six months when the owner went to check up on Zack she found he was just a skeleton standing in a wet field. He was hauled back home right away and the manager has since been feeding him up and arranging for vet checks, but he has zero muscle condition and is quite nervy and jumpy when exposed to new things. The vet also advised Zack should go shoeless due to thrush which had developed on all feet in the wet field and transition to being barefoot, so he'd about mid way through that.
In spite of all this Zack and me bonded and he's turned out to be one of the most loving and gentle horses I've ever met.
About the time I started riding again, the owner of my horse who shares a field with mine ruptured a disk in her back from a fall so she was also looking for a replacement rider. A friend of mine volunteered to take over. She's a friend because my partner and her husband are really good buddies who have grown up together. Neither she nor I clicked and not for lack of trying, but it's never been a problem. We get along fine when we're together. So when she said she'd be riding with me I was actually excited because we'd have something in common and might become closer. Plus having a riding buddy with such a nervy horse seemed ideal, especially since the horse is Zack's field mate.
From the very first day we rode out together things went pretty sour. Back then I couldn't trot Zack on the track because he was unused to being barefoot and hadn't long recovered from thrush and an absess on his front feet due to his mistreatment. That and his muscles were so wasted he used to just trip and stumble anyway, and standing on stones was obviously very painful for him. But all my riding buddy wanted to do was trot. It didn't matter how many times I told her about Zack's problems with his feet she would just trot off, and since Zack is terrified to be away from her horse he'd trot right after until I begged my riding 'buddy' to stop, which she would for all of five minutes before trotting again because 'walking isn't exercising'.
After that I did my best to avoid her and ride alone, and she left us in peace.
Zack and I moved in baby steps and I'm proud to say that two months later we can go out 5km from the stables without him becoming nervy and every ride we add that little bit more. We've also begun trotting very small stretches and his stumbling and limping over stones has almost vanished and his feet are getting better every week
They're almost perfect now!
Just recently my riding buddy pestered me to start riding out with her again, in front of our partners which made it awkward for me to refuse. Because Zack is stronger I gave in and thought well why not? In two months she hasn't ventured beyond the stables 'because it's not safe to ride alone' and has only ridden in our paddock or driven the horse by trailer to the local riding school for an indoor lesson in their arena, but her horse has become stale and has started to kick out with one hind and to hold her head sideways at an angle when asked to trot. I agreed we could ride together in spite of my misgivings to give the horse some relief. So we rode out together again and she was still annoying about wanting to trot EVERYWHERE but it didn't matter in the same way. The only bad point was that Zack picked up his old clingy habits instantly bonded like glue to his field mate and was more nervy than he would have been alone, but we coped and the ride went well. We rode out a few of more times without disasters and although she's obviously in control when we're out (I'm just there as a security blanket and to give directions) it was good that we might finally be able to be on good terms with one another.
Last friday the weather turned and sweden had 30cm of snow fall in one day (I hear the UK has something similar right now?
) It's -14 degrees and more snow falls every day!
I was excited about my first ride in 'real' snow. My riding buddy messaged me the night before asking if we could go out 'since it's safer' and I thought maybe she had a point this once.
We went out and it was amazing at first. We decided to go out on a longer track which follows an old road rarely used and is never ploughed or gritted, so it's all fresh new snow, knee deep. When we were quite some distance out a wagon turned out of the forest pulling an open metal trailer with wooden branches bouncing in the back, banging and making a terrible racket. Both our horses freaked out and Zack bolted, but I managed to steer him into a field. He wheeled around in a few circles then slowed into a frantic walk with his head straight up in the air. I kept him walking in circles until my riding buddy came close, but he wasn't showing any signs of calming down. So my riding buddy turned and started to ride off. I felt Zack getting ready to run after her so I shouted for her to come back and wait in the field for two or three minutes unti Zack was calmer. My riding buddy shouted 'it's too cold to just stand around'. When they turned the corner and vanished behind a hedge Zack carted me through a snow filled ditch that surrounds the field and half hopped/climbed through the hedge. He stopped as soon as he reached the other horse but I was shaking by then. My riding buddy stopped to see what had happened, but at that exact moment the wind shook a huge lump of snow from a tree branch and spooked both our horses again, and Zack slipped and fell
I've no idea how, but neither of us was hurt. I stayed off him and started to lead him home. My riding buddy asked where I was going and I said home. She said if I didn't ride on he would 'win' and 'you're just scared because he fell' and that if I had stayed with her it wouldn't have happened. I said I didn't care and carried on walking. So she dithered about for a bit and turned off in the other direction. I walked off heading down the road for home and after a few minutes I heard the sound of her horse coming up behind us in the snow. She trotted right past us and the first thing Zack did was lift his head and try to canter after her dragging me with him. I yelled at her and for once she actually listened. She said she would ride along the route we had picked as planned and turned around and set off. I managed to walk home with Zack feeling bruised and shaky but just glad that he was finally calm. The minute my riding buddy vanished he whinnied a few times but decided he'd rather go home. The rest of the way he was calm as if nothing had happened and gave me no more trouble.
When I got to the stables I told the manager we'd had a slip because he got spooked, but nothing else. We checked out Zack and found he was perfectly sound, so I dried him and put him in his stall. By the time this was done my riding buddy turned up saying her horse wouldn't go alone and she had to turn back for home as well and how rubbish the whole ride had been, and asked if I'd help her untack. I just gave her a flat no and walked off to meet my partner who was waiting.
Since that day she sent me two texts asking if I wanted to go out, saying 'we can just stick to the paddock since you're scared' and both times I've told her no and that I'll ride alone. The next time I turned up to ride, there she was waiting for me, suggesting we go out together. I saw to the horse and went straight back home without riding. She knows I'm angry with her but she won't broach the subject and so long as she leaves me alone I won't either. I'm quite clear that I want nothing more to do with her. For now my partner has been making excuses as he knows I'm not ready to go anywhere near her, but it can't last forever because it's impacting his friendship with her husband.
To cap it off the only times this week I've managed to evade her and ride out alone Zack would NOT leave the stable yard with me on his back. I can't get him to go past the gate until I hop off and lead him out again, so we end up walking a short way and back. I feel like a fugitive and don't want to be at the stable if she is there. And I'm pretty certain that the emotional baggage I'm carrying around right now, plus the accident, is what has suddenly caused Zack to go back to square one
My confidence gone I know it's silly given that nothing tragic happened and we're both safe, but how can I reassure Zack and make him feel confident to ride out again?? In the autumn on dry track it wasn't an issue if he spooked, but now in deep snow I'm worried and the snow will stay until the thaw in May 
and how do I get over feeling nervous? Days later I feel like I should be over it and have moved on by now, but the fact is I'm not. And any tips on how to get over being totally infuriated just by looking at a person is much appreciated too.
In august I answered a local ad seeking a rider for a horse whose absent owner is at university and has no time for him. The horse does have a few problems the stable manager warned me about. He's a swedish warmblood gelding named Zack (I live in sweden, though I'm a brit!) and very sweet and affectionate around the stables, but he hasn't been ridden in so long he has become stable bound and also bound to his field mate. The minute he is out of sight of either he starts whinnying like mad. The stable manager also warned Zack is very 'sensitive' after a terrible experience - when the owner started uni she arranged for the horse to be sent to another stable yard to live with another rider on loan, and after six months when the owner went to check up on Zack she found he was just a skeleton standing in a wet field. He was hauled back home right away and the manager has since been feeding him up and arranging for vet checks, but he has zero muscle condition and is quite nervy and jumpy when exposed to new things. The vet also advised Zack should go shoeless due to thrush which had developed on all feet in the wet field and transition to being barefoot, so he'd about mid way through that.
In spite of all this Zack and me bonded and he's turned out to be one of the most loving and gentle horses I've ever met.
About the time I started riding again, the owner of my horse who shares a field with mine ruptured a disk in her back from a fall
so she was also looking for a replacement rider. A friend of mine volunteered to take over. She's a friend because my partner and her husband are really good buddies who have grown up together. Neither she nor I clicked and not for lack of trying, but it's never been a problem. We get along fine when we're together. So when she said she'd be riding with me I was actually excited because we'd have something in common and might become closer. Plus having a riding buddy with such a nervy horse seemed ideal, especially since the horse is Zack's field mate.From the very first day we rode out together things went pretty sour. Back then I couldn't trot Zack on the track because he was unused to being barefoot and hadn't long recovered from thrush and an absess on his front feet due to his mistreatment. That and his muscles were so wasted he used to just trip and stumble anyway, and standing on stones was obviously very painful for him. But all my riding buddy wanted to do was trot. It didn't matter how many times I told her about Zack's problems with his feet she would just trot off, and since Zack is terrified to be away from her horse he'd trot right after until I begged my riding 'buddy' to stop, which she would for all of five minutes before trotting again because 'walking isn't exercising'.
After that I did my best to avoid her and ride alone, and she left us in peace.
Zack and I moved in baby steps and I'm proud to say that two months later we can go out 5km from the stables without him becoming nervy and every ride we add that little bit more. We've also begun trotting very small stretches and his stumbling and limping over stones has almost vanished and his feet are getting better every week
They're almost perfect now!Just recently my riding buddy pestered me to start riding out with her again, in front of our partners which made it awkward for me to refuse. Because Zack is stronger I gave in and thought well why not? In two months she hasn't ventured beyond the stables 'because it's not safe to ride alone' and has only ridden in our paddock or driven the horse by trailer to the local riding school for an indoor lesson in their arena, but her horse has become stale and has started to kick out with one hind and to hold her head sideways at an angle when asked to trot. I agreed we could ride together in spite of my misgivings to give the horse some relief. So we rode out together again and she was still annoying about wanting to trot EVERYWHERE but it didn't matter in the same way. The only bad point was that Zack picked up his old clingy habits instantly bonded like glue to his field mate and was more nervy than he would have been alone, but we coped and the ride went well. We rode out a few of more times without disasters and although she's obviously in control when we're out (I'm just there as a security blanket and to give directions) it was good that we might finally be able to be on good terms with one another.
Last friday the weather turned and sweden had 30cm of snow fall in one day (I hear the UK has something similar right now?
) It's -14 degrees and more snow falls every day!I was excited about my first ride in 'real' snow. My riding buddy messaged me the night before asking if we could go out 'since it's safer' and I thought maybe she had a point this once.
We went out and it was amazing at first. We decided to go out on a longer track which follows an old road rarely used and is never ploughed or gritted, so it's all fresh new snow, knee deep. When we were quite some distance out a wagon turned out of the forest pulling an open metal trailer with wooden branches bouncing in the back, banging and making a terrible racket. Both our horses freaked out and Zack bolted, but I managed to steer him into a field. He wheeled around in a few circles then slowed into a frantic walk with his head straight up in the air. I kept him walking in circles until my riding buddy came close, but he wasn't showing any signs of calming down. So my riding buddy turned and started to ride off. I felt Zack getting ready to run after her so I shouted for her to come back and wait in the field for two or three minutes unti Zack was calmer. My riding buddy shouted 'it's too cold to just stand around'. When they turned the corner and vanished behind a hedge Zack carted me through a snow filled ditch that surrounds the field and half hopped/climbed through the hedge. He stopped as soon as he reached the other horse but I was shaking by then. My riding buddy stopped to see what had happened, but at that exact moment the wind shook a huge lump of snow from a tree branch and spooked both our horses again, and Zack slipped and fell
I've no idea how, but neither of us was hurt. I stayed off him and started to lead him home. My riding buddy asked where I was going and I said home. She said if I didn't ride on he would 'win' and 'you're just scared because he fell' and that if I had stayed with her it wouldn't have happened. I said I didn't care and carried on walking. So she dithered about for a bit and turned off in the other direction. I walked off heading down the road for home and after a few minutes I heard the sound of her horse coming up behind us in the snow. She trotted right past us and the first thing Zack did was lift his head and try to canter after her dragging me with him. I yelled at her and for once she actually listened. She said she would ride along the route we had picked as planned and turned around and set off. I managed to walk home with Zack feeling bruised and shaky but just glad that he was finally calm. The minute my riding buddy vanished he whinnied a few times but decided he'd rather go home. The rest of the way he was calm as if nothing had happened and gave me no more trouble.
When I got to the stables I told the manager we'd had a slip because he got spooked, but nothing else. We checked out Zack and found he was perfectly sound, so I dried him and put him in his stall. By the time this was done my riding buddy turned up saying her horse wouldn't go alone and she had to turn back for home as well and how rubbish the whole ride had been, and asked if I'd help her untack. I just gave her a flat no and walked off to meet my partner who was waiting.
Since that day she sent me two texts asking if I wanted to go out, saying 'we can just stick to the paddock since you're scared' and both times I've told her no and that I'll ride alone. The next time I turned up to ride, there she was waiting for me, suggesting we go out together. I saw to the horse and went straight back home without riding. She knows I'm angry with her but she won't broach the subject and so long as she leaves me alone I won't either. I'm quite clear that I want nothing more to do with her. For now my partner has been making excuses as he knows I'm not ready to go anywhere near her, but it can't last forever because it's impacting his friendship with her husband.
To cap it off the only times this week I've managed to evade her and ride out alone Zack would NOT leave the stable yard with me on his back. I can't get him to go past the gate until I hop off and lead him out again, so we end up walking a short way and back. I feel like a fugitive and don't want to be at the stable if she is there. And I'm pretty certain that the emotional baggage I'm carrying around right now, plus the accident, is what has suddenly caused Zack to go back to square one
My confidence gone
I know it's silly given that nothing tragic happened and we're both safe, but how can I reassure Zack and make him feel confident to ride out again?? In the autumn on dry track it wasn't an issue if he spooked, but now in deep snow I'm worried and the snow will stay until the thaw in May and how do I get over feeling nervous? Days later I feel like I should be over it and have moved on by now, but the fact is I'm not. And any tips on how to get over being totally infuriated just by looking at a person is much appreciated too.
