Lost confidence/riding buddy from hell

If your hubby fills his pockets full of treats and skis around your boy and rewards him.... it will take about 3 seconds for him to realise - man on ski's = nice man with treats !

Hacking buddy - apart from slapping her, and tbh i think it is her that is sacared and she is putting her fear onto you or trying too - i would honestly say - i will not ride with you again, you nearly killed me - and i want someone to watch my back.

OH - tell him - you wont come between him and his mate - but keep her away from you - she could have killed you and your horse - especially with the ground conditions the way they are.

You are not in the wrong on this - she is !

Good luck
 
Tell your partner the truth why you don't want to ride out with her and go back to square one with Zack and build both of your confidences up again as you both have taken a bad knock because of her behaviour and you should not let your parnters friendship dictate who you ride out with.
 
Crimbowitch said:
If your hubby fills his pockets full of treats and skis around your boy and rewards him.... it will take about 3 seconds for him to realise - man on ski's = nice man with treats !

Hacking buddy - apart from slapping her, and tbh i think it is her that is sacared and she is putting her fear onto you or trying too - i would honestly say - i will not ride with you again, you nearly killed me - and i want someone to watch my back.

OH - tell him - you wont come between him and his mate - but keep her away from you - she could have killed you and your horse - especially with the ground conditions the way they are.

You are not in the wrong on this - she is !

Good luck
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Yes the thought of slapping her must be very tempting but on the basis of you can't reason with a mad person I think OP needs to do her own thing and ignore it personally I don't get the you have to like my best friends partner as much I as I like my best friend thing at all.
I don't think the other rider will very get OP's point of view but it should not affect them meeting away from horses and being "friendly".
 
That sounds like an awful experience for you and your horse!
It is such a shame that you were doing so well with Zack, I have an ex harness racer and know how hard it can be to tackle some of the ridden issues including leaving the yard and mounting outside ;), I didnt do wery well though it sound like you have a fab bond with your horse. You WILL manage to get back to how you were before, just not with your 'buddy' around. It sounds as if it was a disaster waiting to happen (could have been so much worse) with her inconsiderate attitude. Maybe worth asking your YO or advertising in local tack shops or FB groups (if poss) for a hacking buddy close by. Even if you lead him out until you actually meet up with new buddy if it makes you more relaxed. In the mean time spending time with Zack and walking him out in hand may help you relax and enjoy spending time with him out again. Building you riding distances up slowly, even if its just a 10 min hack with you riding 5 of it. As for you husbands friend and your riding buddy, you just need to let them know that your not riding out together again as you both want to do different things, its not going to work for you or Zack.

Really wish you the best, any pics of Zack? :p
 
Ditch her and carry on as you were before. Don't beat around the bush, just tell her straight.

Your OH on skis sounds like a really good idea as you can go out together. It won't take Zack long to be used to them - earlier comment regarding giving him lots of treats from man on skis is excellent.

Zack is much better unshod on snow - the slip was just one of those things.

Enjoy the Sverige winter wonderland!
 
She sounds totally selfish, you'd be better off finding another hacking partner, someone who is willing to go at your pace if possible, tell her straight to do one, before you get hurt !!
 
Update!



I caught up with her today and to my surprise our talk lasted about 20 seconds, if that. I said flat out I didn't feel safe riding with her and wouldn't be riding out with her again and she just shrugged and said 'okay' and that was that! She wasted no time letting me know I am well and truly in the dog house in various ways and being ultra chummy with our ym, not surprising really, but it's just a relief not to have to try and force some sort of strained friendship around her ever again.

More importantly my partner walked out with me riding Zack today and he went like a dream, never even flinching once. We took a short and easy route. I have a feeling it'll be a different story when we're on our own, but now that we have one track that we've established is 'safe' with him it'll be good to have something to fall back on when other things fail :)

I've also bought a book on in-hand schooling for the days when the tracks have turned icy. I've never tried in-hand schooling before, but I'mhoping if Zack takes to it it'll put some muscle on his rear and encourage him to carry his head a bit lower. Any tips on getting started or mistakes to avoid are very welcome!

If I could hug you all I would! I'd never have brought it up with her without all your encouragement, so thanks a billion guys :D
 
I can relate to this myself. I had an incident with a hacking buddy and was upset about it for weeks!

I am now vvv careful who i hack out with! Rule one with a hacking buddy is you never go off when someone else is in trouble (unless there are obvsiously extreme circumstances). I dont blame u at all for being upset. Bit of an awkward situation, i know myself i wouldnt want to socialise with this person at all!
 
keelind said:
Update!



I caught up with her today and to my surprise our talk lasted about 20 seconds, if that. I said flat out I didn't feel safe riding with her and wouldn't be riding out with her again and she just shrugged and said 'okay' and that was that! She wasted no time letting me know I am well and truly in the dog house in various ways and being ultra chummy with our ym, not surprising really, but it's just a relief not to have to try and force some sort of strained friendship around her ever again.

More importantly my partner walked out with me riding Zack today and he went like a dream, never even flinching once. We took a short and easy route. I have a feeling it'll be a different story when we're on our own, but now that we have one track that we've established is 'safe' with him it'll be good to have something to fall back on when other things fail :)

I've also bought a book on in-hand schooling for the days when the tracks have turned icy. I've never tried in-hand schooling before, but I'mhoping if Zack takes to it it'll put some muscle on his rear and encourage him to carry his head a bit lower. Any tips on getting started or mistakes to avoid are very welcome!

If I could hug you all I would! I'd never have brought it up with her without all your encouragement, so thanks a billion guys :D
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That's fantastic. You can now get back on track enjoying your hobby, and you get to spend time with your partner - when he comes with you. :D
 
We did have someone who was a nightmare hacking out as she had a uber safe pony which no one else did. She is really lovely but thought it was great fun to bomb off or jump with no warning. She did think it was funny though I would not hack out with her for that reason but now she has a baby the penny has completely dropped!
 
Well done OP; TBH if your friend sends you to the "dog house" for having the courage of your convictions then basically I'd say she ain't no "friend" at all IMO.

I've been there done this with hacking companions; its nothing to do with perceived riding "ability" or lack of it, or lack of pluck or whatever, its purely to do with you knowing your own horse and what they can deal with in any given situation, and being sensitive to that PLUS looking after your own skin into the bargain.

There are people around here who no doubt think I'm too snotty nosed to ride with them; but I wouldn't ever want to do so coz their version of a "decent hack" is to hoon around the countryside at top speed, which freaks out both my mare & boy and turns them into total bad-mannered loons, and IMO it just isn't worth it, when I can hack out with a friend who rides the same way as I do and yes OK sometimes we go off for a hoon but more often then not we just doddle around and enjoy our riding coz that's the way we are.

Well done OP. Enjoy your horse! He sounds like he's got the best owner in the world who'll really look after him.

PS: you'll have to get your partner a nice sensible horse so he can hack out with you???? :)
 
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