Lost my girl today :(

[Rosiejazzandpia]

Made the horrendous decision to put my girl to sleep today. The vet sedated to scan and examine her cut leg and found she had completely cut two tendons. He was shocked at how she was still walking around relatively well and how much of a fight she had put up.

The only options were pts or surgery which would probably have been unsuccessful. She was facing a year of box rest and recovery and for a needle shy young horse who thrives on being out with her herd I couldnt have put her through that. She had a lovely final day and plenty to eat, she was shot as a needle would have stressed her too much. I was with her and it was hard to watch but she was calm and didn't feel a thing.

I'm heartbroken tonight, I don't know what to do now and I'm just hoping she knew I was making the right decision for her. I can't stop crying, the world seems so cruel to have snatched a beautiful four year old from me. Literally can't face taking all her stuff out of the tack room and stable, I keep expecting her little face to pop over the gate
Didn't know if I should even write this but I'm hoping it helps to write it down and get it all out

 

[Meowy Catkin]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

 

[Sheep]

Very sorry for your loss x

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I'm so sorry!
It's always horrible to lose a horse but losing a young one feels worse ime (and I've lost 3 and a foal). You haven't just lost the horse but also the future that the horse should have had.

You made the best decision for the horse that you could with the information available to you, which is all that any-one can do. Fwiw, I would have made the same choice as you.

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

I'm so very very sorry to hear this x given the extent of the damage there really was nothing you could have done. You have done the best by your lovely wee mare.

 

[JJS]

I'm so sorry to hear this, OP. Losing them hurts, and it will hurt for a long time, but you did her an absolute kindness by loving her enough to let her go whilst she was happy. No horse could ask for more from their owner.

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

You did the kindest thing for your mare. Sorry for your loss. X

 

[Spottyappy]

Thinking of you, at this sad and difficult time.

 

[1ST1]

So sorry for your loss. I know how you feel as I lost my beautiful boy very suddenly last month and the support of understanding strangers on this forum really helped and comforted me at that difficult time, I hope it will also comfort you. Hugs X

 

[Surbie]

I am so sorry. I hope that as she was calm and had a lovely last day helps, but I would be in bits too.

 

[Flashheart]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[iknowmyvalue]

So sorry for your loss. You made the right decision for her, and always remember that. I know how hard it is to lose one unexpectedly, I've been there (and I also remember on your other thread you said you suffer from anxiety and depression, which I also do). If you want someone to talk to, my inbox is open. Hugs xxx

 

[Dave's Mam]

So sorry. You did the right thing. Please take care of yourself too. It's a ********er of a decision & a very brave one.
Massive hug to you.

 

[SusieT]

Sorry for your loss- you made a very brave decision.

 

[Nici]

So sorry, Rosiejazzandpia.
What a brave girl that she still walked despite her tendons!

 

[claret09]

so, so sad but i know you did the right thing. that is really brave. your girl would have been in a lot of pain if you had not had her pts. i dread anything happening to my boy.

 

[shirl62]

you did a very brave thing for your girl xx Big hugs . So sorry for your loss

Shirl

 

[vmac66]

So sorry. You did the best you could for your girl in the circumstances x

 

[mytwofriends]

Comfort yourself knowing you absolutely did the right thing for your lovely mare. She’s lucky to have had you as an owner.

Take care of yourself.

 

[OrangeAndLemon]

Thinking of you today. You did the best you could for her and made the brave decision to feel pain so she wouldn't have to. Take care of yourself and please reach out if you need anything to help you through this difficult time.

 

[LadySam]

My heart goes out to you. You did the right thing.

 

[madamebonnie]

Oh I am so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine how heartbroken you will feel. Hugs to you xx

 

[scats]

I'm so sorry to hear this, but it definitely sounds like you made the best decision for her xx

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

Made the horrendous decision to put my girl to sleep today. The vet sedated to scan and examine her cut leg and found she had completely cut two tendons. He was shocked at how she was still walking around relatively well and how much of a fight she had put up.

The only options were pts or surgery which would probably have been unsuccessful. She was facing a year of box rest and recovery and for a needle shy young horse who thrives on being out with her herd I couldnt have put her through that. She had a lovely final day and plenty to eat, she was shot as a needle would have stressed her too much. I was with her and it was hard to watch but she was calm and didn't feel a thing.

I'm heartbroken tonight, I don't know what to do now and I'm just hoping she knew I was making the right decision for her. I can't stop crying, the world seems so cruel to have snatched a beautiful four year old from me. Literally can't face taking all her stuff out of the tack room and stable, I keep expecting her little face to pop over the gate
Didn't know if I should even write this but I'm hoping it helps to write it down and get it all out

So sorry for your loss of your young girl, the yard owners should understand and let you remove the items when you are ready and not before so don't rush this. hugs xxx

 

[acw295]

Well done for making such a difficult decision. It sounds like you did exactly the right thing and put the horse first. Be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve. It is such a tragic loss xx

 

[FestiveFuzz]

Rosie I am so so sorry to read this. As I mentioned on your last thread, I lost my 5yo in February and really struggled to reconcile having to cut short the life of my beautiful, young mare. In my heart of hearts I knew it was the right thing to do as we couldn't keep her field sound, and endless box rest just wasn't fair to her as she was a young sportshorse, but I remember well the injustice I felt at losing her so soon into her journey. I was heartbroken, not only because I'd lost her, but in losing her I also had to let go of all the hopes and dreams I had for our future.

This forum was invaluable when I lost her, and I am forever grateful for all the kind words and support I was given throughout.

Just take your time and be kind to yourself. I had another horse when I lost her, so know only too well what it's like to keep expecting to see their face when you're around the yard. I don't think I'll ever stop missing her, but it does get easier. Just take heart in the knowledge that you did what was right by her and set her free from the pain she would have been in. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to xxx

 

[southerncomfort]

I'm so sorry, it must have been such a horrible shock to have a young horse with such a devastating injury.

You made the kindest decision not to prolong her pain and I really hope that brings you some comfort.

 

[Gottotrot]

so sorry for your loss,i am sure she would understand why you did it,i would have done the same...but it never makes it any easier..my tears are for you and maybe in the future you will have another who will bring as much joy as she did.x

 

[Rosiejazzandpia]

Thank you all so much. All these lovely replies and messages have helped more than you know today.
Thank you for all your support and kind words xxx

 

[Ceriann]

So very sorry - losing one that young is so unfair but you did the right thing for her. You will never forget and the hurt won't go completely but it will get easier. Take care