Lost my littlest old pony yesterday :-(

sportsmansB

sportsmansB

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Came down last night to pop mine in the field cos we have two nice days coming up, to find my littlest ancient (34ish) pony down in the straw in the barn. She had gobbled up her mash at lunch time and seemed fine, but had obviously been down for a while and couldn't get up. I shouted for OH to ring the vet and tell them we had an elderly pony in distress who needed put to sleep and they were there within 30 mins. No qualms from me, she was ancient and had a lovely last few years being her wonderful sassy little self but her gums were white, she was dehydrated, and she couldn't get up (we probably could have lifted her but I really didn't want to see her struggle). The other horses were distressed when we got in the barn but settled as soon as I sat beside her and just watched me stroking her, then Chris took them to the field so that the vet could come without a whole menagerie around.
I fed her meal from my hand and stroked her wee head until the vet did what he needed to do and she just went to sleep.
My big horse who has been with her for the last 5 years was looking for her last night in the field and watching the barn. I know he will miss her, she was his boss really but she was also the best companion pony ever - completely unconcerned about what the others did, didn't entertain any nonsense, couldn't care less about being on her own/ with multiple others / wasn't pushy but commanded respect / never got fat no matter how much grass (all 11.2hh of her).

How can I help him with the grief? He still has two others- the 'back up' companion I got a year ago in case this happened, and the very large older horse my OH got at Christmas time to learn to ride - so he isn't on his own, but he was very attached to the sassy little madam and he wears his heart on his sleeve.
 
Aww I'm so sorry to read this. She sounds just like the ancient pony I had, who I miss most out of all the ones I've lost. :( I don't think you can do an awful lot to help the friend that's left, apart from more of what he enjoys, scratches or brushing, or a pick of grass on a verge. My Shetland was in this same situation. He took a few weeks, but he did get over it, he just moved his attention onto the other mare I had, which was particularly sad as she was a total witch! I did end up getting him a Shetland friend, because I felt he deserved one at that point.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss , she obviously had a wonderful life. If your others were able to see her after she had gone they will hopefully be okay, it just takes time sadly.
 
I have almost a matching pair to your two. An old 12.1 pony probably in her late twenties, and my old big chap of 29. He utterly adores her (to a point I can't actually keep them in the same field as he gets so worked up trying to look after her and make sure no one gets closer to her than him, even in another field). She is the same perfect companion - quiet, doesn't care who she's with or no one at all, but loves a bit of attention. Well done for being foresighted and organising other companions he now knows in advance of this. I don't think I have any better ideas except to keep his routine, give him attention and keep a good eye on him.
 
IrishMilo said:
I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like she had a wonderful life with you.

In terms of the others coming to terms with it, did you let them go and see the pony once she had passed? I always do this now, it stops them looking for the other one and helps them to understand what's happened.
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By the time the vet was away last night it was dark and the others were still out so I didn't bring them back in, I would have needed to bring them in to see her one by one I think, and thats a bit complex
I did feel from him when I was sitting with her and he just stopped panicking and was standing beside us that he knew what was happening. She is still in situ in the barn until the digger man can come later today so I could do it when I get home but I'm not sure if thats too late?
I'll give him plenty of fuss, he does love that and was quite high maintenance in his competition days but she knocked a bit of that out of him and helped him turn into the much more chilled out guy he now is
 
sportsmansB said:
She is still in situ in the barn until the digger man can come later today so I could do it when I get home but I'm not sure if thats too late?
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Definitely not too late. If you can I definitely would, I believe they're so much more intelligent than we give them credit for and it does help them to know what's happened.

When my friend's horse/my pony's companion was put to sleep last year, we took my one out for the actual PTS bit and then when everyone had said goodbye we brought Rocky back in so he could too. He walked straight over to him, sniffed him for about half a second and then walked over to the hay in the field. It cracked us up and was a really funny anecdote given how devastated we all were - it really emphasised how they live in the moment!

I hope you're all feeling better soon, it's horrible to deal with.
 
IrishMilo said:
Definitely not too late. If you can I definitely would, I believe they're so much more intelligent than we give them credit for and it does help them to know what's happened.

When my friend's horse/my pony's companion was put to sleep last year, we took my one out for the actual PTS bit and then when everyone had said goodbye we brought Rocky back in so he could too. He walked straight over to him, sniffed him for about half a second and then walked over to the hay in the field. It cracked us up and was a really funny anecdote given how devastated we all were - it really emphasised how they live in the moment!

I hope you're all feeling better soon, it's horrible to deal with.
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Our pony did similar when we let her see her field mate of over 20 years, sniffed him, pawed once at his head then walked off. Although she was definitely not herself until we got another companion she didn't call for him or stress too much.
I think it would be worth letting him see her sportsmansB, although it will be hard for you. Thinking of you, it is such a sad time when we say goodbye to an oldie.
 
I'm so sorry - she's going to leave a huge hole in all your lives xx

My Appy knew her long term companion had gone even before I got them on the yard to see him. She was very unsettled for a few weeks even with her herd around her and then found that first winter really hard (he was her eyes after dark as she is nightblind). She then decided my younger gelding could be her personal slave and he seemed to be OK with that, but I think you do just have to let them deal in their own time.

Mine have always known a herd member has gone even when they didn't see the body xx
 
I admire the way you made the decision there and then. That's true selflessness.

I think, this is certainly the case with all my horses that they usually come round faster than we think. Unless mine are just all very fickle!
 
That’s sad to hear but how lovely that your pony lived her days out as a companion and lived to 34.

I had a similar situation a few weeks ago with a couple of horses I look after - both 25 years old and had been together for 10 years, a little pony similar to your’s and a TB. We lost the little pony to colic suddenly and when I first turned out the TB afterwards he whinnied and kept looking around for his friend but didn’t start tearing round or getting really stressed, he seemed more confused. After only a day or so though he seemed to have completely accepted that it was just him though, and only a week later you wouldn’t have known he had had a friend to begin with!

Hopefully that will be the case with your horse. I know they’re all different but this was my experience and I hadn’t had to deal with it before so wasn’t sure what behaviour to expect.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss.
When we lost our Appy's companion of 20 yrs, she had to stay in her interlocking stable until the body could be removed, as we couldn't get her through the door. We had the hunt to do the job and of course they did everything at the same time.
So, she had been able to see everything, she had 2 other long-term herd members grazing with her but was very subdued for several days. In fact she didn't really cheer up until we got a 2nd Appaloosa. That certainly sparked her interest!
 
What sad news but at least you were there and could help…cared for until the end is something I would wish for every animal (and human). I’m sending a hug.
 
Thank you so much everyone. She really leaves a big hole in our lives, I just so admired her spunky little personality right to the end.
We buried her yesterday (no judgement please, I know it isn't allowed...) in our 'fairy ring' on the hilltop beside her little grassy paddock that my OH made for her to have over the winter because she couldn't eat hay very well any more but still scoffed the grass, and the big horses had the winter paddock bare by then.
I showed my big horse, he just sniffed and didn't seem interested but he is more settled now and is eating etc- just even more needy for attention than usual..

Will be forever grateful to my OH for dealing with the not so nice parts. I was with her at the end but I really struggle with the necessary manhandling of the remains after, and he and a kind neighbour with a digger did all that so that I didn't have to be involved. He loved her too, so doing that for me means more than any presents or fancy gestures.
 
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