Lost my temper today

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littlen

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and I feel awful about it!

Sorry this is going to be another moaning/ranting thread ...they are all I seem to make these days!

Well it started off badly, with me being told horse has to move back to his normal field from field full of grass as YO needs the one he is currently in. So I am back to square one- no grass, horse drops weight, spend a fortune on feed and haylage, horse goes nuts yet still drops weight.

Then I decided to ride. I have been having an awful time with him at the moment and he has knocked my confidence really badly in the past few weeks. The final straw was last week when he reared and napped because he didnt want to go out, smacking me in the face with his head and causing my nose to pour of blood (he is in a market harborough so god knows how he got his head up there!)
I then decided to hack out with a friend on her older cob who was impecibly behaved, wheras mine proceeded to rear, leap and jog the whole way and quite frankly I was terrified.
He seems constantly on edge, as if he is an unexploded bomb and it takes nothing to set him off- a horse trotting ahead, me asking him to stand or something as simple as that and he will go mad and threaten to go up, I hang on harder which is just instinct and he gets more and more wound up.
Anyway today I decided to get on and he point blank refused to stand. He spun and refused to go within a mile of the mounting block and was mini rearing and looked terrified. I managed to get on eventually and he felt as though he was about to have a huge tantrum and was completley tense- at this point I burst into tears and got off. Thats the first time I have ever refused to ride my own horse and I feel pathetic not wanting to ride MY horse. The thing I spend a fortune on each month yet am terrified to ride. I also heard other liveries bitching which made me feel a whole lot worse about the whole thing and they were saying I am stupid for not just getting on with it.

The annoying thing is his behaviour has changed in a matter of months. 3 months ago he was the perfect gentleman, I could allow anyone to have a sit without worrying. But he dropped weight and I had to pile the grass into him to keep his weight up and ever since he has turned into jeckle and hyde. I have had his teeth and back checked and the saddler has looked at his saddle. I am concerned it might be his saddle though as when I ask for canter he sort of tenses up and refuses or bucks. I am unsure if he is just stiff or in pain but he wasnt like this afew months ago (he has had time off inbetween then and now though)
I have tried a riser pad and different numnahs and nothing made a difference. He has put on weight though but saddler said it was fine?

I have or had an instructor but I stopped getting lessons a while back as I couldnt afford the expense of it and didnt feel as though I was improving at all. I cant afford another instructor either so I am battling him alone.

I dont know what to do with him really I just want him back to normal.
Has anyone tried magnesium calmers etc, do they work for 'spring grass' if it even is that?

I am so tempted to try and ride again tonight just to prove to myself I can do it, but is it a bad idea concidering what happened earlier today?!

Sorry for the moany rant, just sick at the moment!
 
Was going to suggest magnesium to you as soon as i started reading. It takes a while to start working so if you decide to give it a go, give it time. It's inexpensive so worth a go.

Not impressed with the other liveries bitching. Ignore it. Cant be nice having to deal with it on your own with that going on as well.

I also suggest take him off the haylage and put him on hay - give him as much as he wants.

Also, defo try and ride again tonight. How about lunging him first?
 
If a saddle fits it doesnt need risers, etc. in fact they just move pressure from one place to another and imo are a waste of money.

From your post i think 2 main things- get a different saddle fitter out and also sort the diet. the horse sounds in discomfort somewhere, you just need to work out where.
 
It sounds like you've got into a bit of a downwards spiral. He wont get better until you can relax on him and give him his head but he's made you too nervous to do that.
My advice would be to stick a pro rider on him for a couple of weeks so you can work out if it's a pain reaction or if it's him being a monkey. It may be something like kissing spines
 
Another vote for magnesium, changing the haylage to hay and some Rescue remedy for you. If he is a sensitive sharp soul, if you are tense he will pick up on that and not help you out. Lunging him before mounting is always a good idea too.

Good luck, don't give up yet and try and ignore the bitchiness... Everyone's a critic these days it seems :(
 
Sorry your having a bad time of it. Do you think it might be helpful if a vet checked your horse out? If other things are ok, apart from the saddle possibility, then it may be worth it. Horses cant tell you if something hurts, only by their behaviour. Horse on our yard was fine then started to refuse jumps, rearing and owner fell off. Turned out he had damage to his hind suspensory ligaments and needed surgery. My friends horse also had the same problem and this only became apparent when he started napping and spinning and refusing to go forward. He was in pain, especially going downhill. Its the way I would go if theres nothing else you put your finger on. I think from your comments about being terrified and not going near the mounting block and feeling tense, that there is probably an underlying problem.

If the vet cant find anything by doing a lameness workup then maybe you could do with some help from a good instructor. It was our instructor who picked up on the problems with the 2 horses on our yard.

Good luck..
 
Do you have any pictures of his condition at present, don't worry about other livery comment your the one this is happening to..horses can pick up on our feelings so easily.
 
Don't be too hard on yourself, it sounds like you are having a really rough day!

No one can do a good job with their horse when they start off cross and it sounds like he was testing you anyway, so it was probably a good idea to leave it for today.

I use Cool, Calm and Collected by Equifeast with my boy and it makes a huge difference, but they only work on magnesium deficient horses. Might be worth a try?

Since it's such a sudden change I would be looking for evidence of pain. Can you get the vet out to do an overall check up, look for lameness, check back, etc. see if anything obvious comes up? Then maybe follow-up with an experienced physio, as the kind of problems you describe could well be caused by back pain.

Good luck!
 
sorry that you're having a tough time at the moment.
It probably doesn't help that you heard people bitching about you behind your back. please try to ignore them, it's all very well for them to say you should just get on with it, but it's not them that has to deal with the rearing and prancing about. I know how it feels to be scared about doing something, and it's a vicious circle, the more worried you are, the horse picks up on that, and then they worry, which makes you worry more.
As you've had back teeth saddle checked, can you ask an instructor, or someone that you trust at your yard to have a sit on him - make sure he's not just taking the mickey out of you or if he's feeding off your worry and insecurity.
And there's no harm in trying him on a calmer, but like someone else said, they do take a while to kick in, so don't expect instant results.
lots of luck
x
 
I would try a calmer
I would try a different saddler
I would try being bl@@dy positive with him in a field -everytime he threatenss to buck on a canter transition lengthen your reins and push him on - my sisters horse used to do it and it was cos he wasn't going forwards. once he learnt you weren't going to restrict him he could sort his legs out for canter ok.

if you do ride tonight, put a neck strap on and be prepared to work at it until you get the result you want tonight... even if that is going into a school or a field and walking once circuit without a fuss.
 
Hi, I would try relax me it is magnesium based and pretty good, it does take afew days to get into system tho. You can get intant ones like oxy shot or magic have heard they can be good in some horses use these along side the daily ones. Also you could try a pre-pro biotic incase his tummy is out of synch with the change in diet. I'd try the above and give him and yourself a few days off. Don't beat yourself up about it and sod the other liveries, If they aren't offering to help you them don't think twice about any comments you hear.
 
Change your saddle if it doesnt fit (or get another exta one) if he's one of these that keeps changing weight.

Speak to a feed company (obviously one that supplies your local feed merchant), they will recomend you a good feeding programme, to both keep him up to weight without him getting highly strung.

Work him prior to riding him, even if it just 5 minutes on the lunge, get him back into a full working routine, if he wants to play silly buggars and release his energy a bit, let him do this while your not on him, then ask for his concentration, eventually with a change in diet and if he's more comfortable (saddle wise) he'll stop being a prat. :D Just try and meet him half way.

Equimins Serenity, if he's feeling a bit too good due to the grass overload or a bit too sugar happy, stick him on this mag calmer, brillant stuff and worth every penny, then wean him off it when he settles back down.
 
Vet to check him over, find out if there is a physical reason for the back humping canter transition.

A lot of ground work, including lunging and long reining.

Ignore the stupid witches on the yard.

Got a good friend who is a good rider who will get on?

I've used Magnesium and it's worked on at least three of our horses.

I'd give yourself some time out to relax and chill.
 
Echo Catdragon, swap haylage for hay and get some good advice from a reputable supplier re supplements with magnesium in them, There are so many different ones and different forms of magnesium you need to make sure you are feeding the right thing for his symptoms. My own horse has a low level of mag all year round and it has really helped. Personally, I would forget about trying to ride for a bit, at least until he feels a bit more chilled, just do lots of groundwork, handling him, grooming and just being with him in the field or yard.
 
Your horse sounds very much like my boy did a couple of months after I bought him - he used to tense up when I got on and felt like an unexploded bomb ready to go off. It did eventually climax in him bucking someone off. It turns out he had quite bad back problem. He's had nearly 6 months off and after another visit from a decent back specialist he seems ok. I'm enjoying working him again and getting used to him. If it's all going wrong get him checked out and chuck him out for a while. I thought I had to ride but realised no-one was going to think any less of me if I decided not to.
 
Better just add i was suggesting you get back on purely for your confidence - after he's done plenty of work lungeing/longreining. Even if you just sit on him and walk him back to the yard.

Don't hate him, just something's going wrong somewhere and it's just a case of trial and error of finding where it is. Plenty of options above to try :)
 
would defintatly suggest a qualified physio, was your "back man" qualified as there are alot of con men out there who cant actually do the job. if you wanted to pm me where you are i could probably find out for you.

with regards to feed it sounds like you could be pumping alot of sugar into him ive been in a similar situation with a friends horse and we changed onto something called simple systems, i no it sounds abit hippy but it works trust me. it has no sugar so if you have got a horse that goes abid ADHD like what yours sounds to be and my friends did (what your describing sounds very similar with regards to tension when mounting and feeling like an unexploded bomb) i would honestly try the two things ive just suggested, worked fantastic for her horse, had it turned round in a couple of weeks.

try and nip it in the bud before the behavious becomes habitual.
 
Another suggestion here. Stomach ulcers. Its because of his weight loss and the reason why he is behaving differently? As the others say digestion and increase in feed its all related. Just a suggestion though.
 
Thanks everyone.

I think the worst part was hearing the yard b*tch laughing and saying my horse is easy to ride so she cant see what the problem is. I felt like handing her the reins and seeing how long she lasts!

With regards to the pain thing, that was my first thought and I did get the vet out when I noticed the weight loss who did a basic MOT and checked for lameness etc. He is not lame or stiff in any way but he did refer me to a physio just incase who also came out and checked his back and said he was fine. I am tempted to get him back out but everyone says its a waste of money if he has already said he is okay. The dentist couldnt find anything either.
The only thing I can think of is the change of diet. He started to drop weight in the spring as we have very limited grazing and it wasnt enough to sustain him, hence haylage and feed. At the moment he is on a non heating conditioning mix, chaff,some oil and speedibeet in winter. He holds his weight well on this and looks much better.

Saddle wise I am trying to get another fitter out. The one I used came highly reccomended and fitted me a saddle although he did (does) have muscle wastage behind the shoulder and in his back end due to not working properly (think head in air, evading bit, skipping along not working) and I fear that the saddle is not going to allow him to develop muscle if its already wasted? I did ask saddler about this and he assured me it was a good fit. A friend lent me a riser pad to try and work out if it was the saddle or not but it just made my saddle slip.
I want to try some saddles but unfortunatley I am not very well of financially at the moment (trying to fund myself through college, very expensive!) and I only have a few hundred I could spend. I have seen some nice ebay ones but im wary of buying without trying it. I dont know if he is medium or wide either but saddler only stocks saddles from £300 upwards and the majority are £500+. I have the numbers of some others I could ring but I feel silly telling them I have such a small budget.

My instructor always said he isnt a bad horse, just very nervous. I am not sure where he came from exactly but I fear it wasnt a nice place! I have been advised to sell but I know he would be passed about, I would rather PTS or retire him than sell!


Thanks for all of the calmer reccomendations, I am off to look at them all now!

I am debating going and riding again, but then again I am looking outside and thinking 'ooh its windy and might rain, he will act up' I think I need a kick up the backside lol.
 
First ignore the yard witches, they arent worth using your energy up on. Would a synthetic saddle with interchangeable gullets work better for you if you are on a limited budget? At least you could then change the shape of the saddle as and when needed. I wouldnt do another thing today, just go spend time with your horse and dont put pressure on yourself to do more. Chill a little and if it makes you feel better get his back checked out again to be sure.

The Feed Merchant would be a good person to get advice from regarding feeding and I really hope if works out for you. Good luck..x
 
Very true baggybreeches (love that name btw!)
I know I am very tense and scared on him. Truth is he is so unpredictable. He feels tense all of the time and bounces and leaps about, a friend pointed out I did look very tense the other day but I am when he is being silly. I didnt used to be, I used to hack him on the buckle for hours. Not any more!

After a quick google I found you can buy 'cal-mag' or a straight magnesium suppliment. Anyone used this before?
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Cal-Mag-900g-Cal-Mag-Magnesium-Calmer-Laminitis-LOW-P-P-/330441178596

On second thoughts... I might just go brush him instead. At least I wont have to worry!
 
Have used straight magnesium supplement. Give your vet a call if you're worried :).

To be honest i'd stop the hard feed right now apart from a handfull of non molassed chaff with the magnesium in it (with water). Give that time to kick in and see how he is on the ground, whether he looks more relaxed after a week or so of being on it.

x
 
I do know what you are going through last night I hacked out my 9 yr old TB, on the same hack we always do (for 3 yrs,long story but basically he has OCD big time!!), and he was such a tithead that a woman actually came out of the house to ask if I needed help!
I have now got to a stage where I actually ignore him completely and don't react to him at all. He has good days and bad days, silly thing is he does actually like hacking he just makes such a drama out of it, its not pleasant for either of us!
 
I wouldn't ride tonight. I would just go and enjoy him. Take him for a walk in hand groom and remember the times that you enjoyed riding. Keep doing this until you feel happier and take baby steps. The first time I got back on my big boy after a nasty fall I got my Dad to lead me... Very embarrassing, a grown woman who had been riding for years being lead by her Dad... Still it gave me confidence and I have never looked back since.

It sounds to me as though something has happened to your horse, you don't know what and are trying to find out and you are getting really wound up about the whole thing so give yourself a break. You are human and you are doing everything you can to solve his problems. You can't do more.

Next get back onto your vet. Tell them its getting worse. Ask for their advice on things that you can try to see if you can get closer to a diagnosis before they come out.

Ignore the yard cows. Sadly we horsey people like to have opinions and make them know wether they are wanted/ apropriate or not. If they can't say anything nice then really they shouldn't be saying anything at all. Obviously they have now't better to do with their time so let it wash over your head (...and have a really good laugh round the corner next time one of them lands on their back side).

Don't worry about being broke. You have a horse so you are bound to be. There is nothing embarrassing about saying this is what I have to spend. I am sure they would rather that than than a bounced cheque.

I know nothing of magnesium supliments but it may be worth a try as several here have mentioned it.

Good luck and remember to relax. This is all supposed to be fun!
 
littlen said:
Very true baggybreeches (love that name btw!)
I know I am very tense and scared on him. Truth is he is so unpredictable. He feels tense all of the time and bounces and leaps about, a friend pointed out I did look very tense the other day but I am when he is being silly. I didnt used to be, I used to hack him on the buckle for hours. Not any more!

After a quick google I found you can buy 'cal-mag' or a straight magnesium suppliment. Anyone used this before?
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Cal-Mag-900g-Cal-Mag-Magnesium-Calmer-Laminitis-LOW-P-P-/330441178596

On second thoughts... I might just go brush him instead. At least I wont have to worry!
Click to expand...

Use the straight mag-ox but don't pay silly prices for it, ask at local farm stores (farmers don't pay equestrian prices) and buy a 20k sack for less than you would pay for a kilo online! I can also highly recommend the equilibrium range of feeds, forage based so nothing to cause the horse to get wound up. It does sound like he is full of nervous energy. Whichever way you go give him a few days for things to start doing what they need to do and spend the time working on the ground with him and getting your confidence back. BUT, before this, let one of the yard *itches get on him and see how they cope, it is so easy to talk about it, less easy to do!!
 
Don't know if this is helpful, but there is a horse on my yard that plays up when he is running low on grass in his field. He has really been quite naughty this year (we are having to feed hay already), It's not that he is really hungry as he gets fed everyday and is in good condition. I think that he gets so fed up of nibbling at short grass that he plots how to get his revenge? lol!
Maybe a change of yard where people are more sympathetic, and where YO doesn't mess around your horses routine?
However much you want to ignore the people who are not being supportive it is very difficult to do, and it is not easy to relax when put in that environment, your horse will pick up on that too.
Maybe just walking him out in hand would help, and try to see what is sparking this reaction?
 
I have thought about ulcers, although he is not really sensitive around the stomach and has never coliced etc which I was told were classic symptoms. He does have a high forage diet.

How would I go about testing him for this?

When he did drop weight it coincided with the lack of grass, as soon as he went on better grazing he piled the weight on. Unfortunatley YO has took him off it again so I just hope he dosent drop weight again :(

Funnily enough, in hand he is lovely. He is a very affectionate horse on the ground and dosent do anything bad in hand bar jog. I dont fear him on the ground at all, only when I am on board!
He is a very stressy lad though and is weaver and box walker and typically does his shouting,sweating, pacing routine if something has upset him. I am sure this is similar to what he is doing ridden only he cant go forwards etc so he goes up instead!

ETA ive just spoke to a livery on the phone who suggested selling up and getting a nice confidence giver. I dont really think I have a hope in hells chance of selling on a spooky, rearing, bucking, bolting arab who weaves and box walks and who suffers from medical allergies, skin and bacterial infections all year around, seperation anxiety and who costs a fortune to feed. Really selling him arent I lol.
 
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You said you are using a non-heating conditioning mix. We were also using one but although it said non-heating our horses went nuts on it so we changed to non-heating cubes and they calmed down again. Just a thought.
 
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