Jenko109
Well-Known Member
Saw this on a Facebook page and had to pinch it.
Copied from a lurcher page, sorry if a duplication but so much of this resonates.
๐ช๐๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ข๐๐๐ข๐๐๐ฆ: ๐ ๐ฆ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ด๐ต๐ฒ๐๐๐ถ ๐ฆ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐.
๐๐จ๐ง๐๐๐ซ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ฌ
A sighthound is a dog that has been selectively bred to hunt game by sight and speed. Sleek. Sophisticated. Spectacular.
Mostly.
Let us take the Greyhound.
Their beauty, speed and graceful athleticism is truly something to behold. A Greyhound running at full throttle is a spectacular sight to all who see it.
They are however not entirely undeservedly renowned for being... well, a bit dim.
Much fast. Very runnings. No thoughts. Oooh a squirrel!
๐๐ง๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ซ๐๐ก๐๐ซ
Lurchers are -allegedly- sighthounds with added braincells and additional deathwishes.
A lurcher is a cross or mixed breed dog comprised of a sighthound of some type and a something-else of some type. Usually a terrier or herding dog.
From here onwards, we will refer to the humble lurcher by its other, less well known name:
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ก๐ข๐ญ๐๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐.
Many Shitehounds are a cross between a Greyhound or similarly stupid stick-dog and a crackhead, batshit crazy breed like the border collie or patterdale terrier.
Often as fast as their sighthound ancestors, they are also a spectacular sight.
Unless you are a bunny.
Or of course that Shitehounds owner.
Owners of Shitehounds see them hit full speed and panic.
This is because they KNOW that their beloved 100mph bucket of spaghetti and crayons is about to injured itself in a way science had previously considered impossible.
Fun Fact! Did you know that grass leaves are now referred to as "blades" due to the shocking number of horrific lacerations they cause to unsuspecting Shitehound paws?
Unfortunately, as well as being fast, they also have skin so thin that if you shine a torch from one side of them, you can see the light exiting the other - which makes for a hilarious Halloween party trick!
The downside to this of course: they break a lot.
They are so delicate in fact that it is said that if you stare at them hard for more than an hour, they will spontaneously disassemble themselves completely and fling their disembodied bits off into the sunset at top speed, never to be seen again. We recommend that you do not try this.
Shitehound owners are almost always plagued with phobias of barbed wire, twigs, flints and the knowledge that even if there is only one single shard of glass in their entire county, their Shitehounds feet WILL find it.
Because the problem with Shitehounds you see, is that they're just sighthounds on meth.
Much fast. Very huntings. ALL THE THOUGHTS AT ONCE. Oh no, a sharp leaf.
Our final fact today is that Shitehounds are sometimes created by the unholy union of a greyhound (extra fast, extra dum dums) and something especially bananas. Like a Belgian Malinois. (WORKWORKWORK! Bite the bad guy! RUNRUNRUN! 900 TABS OPEN AT ONCE!)
The result is the dog you see here:
A dog that can outrun a Maserati and continue to do so for up to 18 hours at a time (unless it encounters a particularly sharp blade of grass) wants to chomp on ALL OF THE TUGGY THINGS, will throw itself out of second story windows for gits and shiggles, has approximately 9 thoughts a week and is made of broken Twiglets, pipe cleaners and the desperate hope it will all hold together .
Copied from a lurcher page, sorry if a duplication but so much of this resonates.
๐ช๐๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ข๐๐๐ข๐๐๐ฆ: ๐ ๐ฆ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ด๐ต๐ฒ๐๐๐ถ ๐ฆ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐.
๐๐จ๐ง๐๐๐ซ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ฌ
A sighthound is a dog that has been selectively bred to hunt game by sight and speed. Sleek. Sophisticated. Spectacular.
Mostly.
Let us take the Greyhound.
Their beauty, speed and graceful athleticism is truly something to behold. A Greyhound running at full throttle is a spectacular sight to all who see it.
They are however not entirely undeservedly renowned for being... well, a bit dim.
Much fast. Very runnings. No thoughts. Oooh a squirrel!
๐๐ง๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ซ๐๐ก๐๐ซ
Lurchers are -allegedly- sighthounds with added braincells and additional deathwishes.
A lurcher is a cross or mixed breed dog comprised of a sighthound of some type and a something-else of some type. Usually a terrier or herding dog.
From here onwards, we will refer to the humble lurcher by its other, less well known name:
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ก๐ข๐ญ๐๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐.
Many Shitehounds are a cross between a Greyhound or similarly stupid stick-dog and a crackhead, batshit crazy breed like the border collie or patterdale terrier.
Often as fast as their sighthound ancestors, they are also a spectacular sight.
Unless you are a bunny.
Or of course that Shitehounds owner.
Owners of Shitehounds see them hit full speed and panic.
This is because they KNOW that their beloved 100mph bucket of spaghetti and crayons is about to injured itself in a way science had previously considered impossible.
Fun Fact! Did you know that grass leaves are now referred to as "blades" due to the shocking number of horrific lacerations they cause to unsuspecting Shitehound paws?
Unfortunately, as well as being fast, they also have skin so thin that if you shine a torch from one side of them, you can see the light exiting the other - which makes for a hilarious Halloween party trick!
The downside to this of course: they break a lot.
They are so delicate in fact that it is said that if you stare at them hard for more than an hour, they will spontaneously disassemble themselves completely and fling their disembodied bits off into the sunset at top speed, never to be seen again. We recommend that you do not try this.
Shitehound owners are almost always plagued with phobias of barbed wire, twigs, flints and the knowledge that even if there is only one single shard of glass in their entire county, their Shitehounds feet WILL find it.
Because the problem with Shitehounds you see, is that they're just sighthounds on meth.
Much fast. Very huntings. ALL THE THOUGHTS AT ONCE. Oh no, a sharp leaf.
Our final fact today is that Shitehounds are sometimes created by the unholy union of a greyhound (extra fast, extra dum dums) and something especially bananas. Like a Belgian Malinois. (WORKWORKWORK! Bite the bad guy! RUNRUNRUN! 900 TABS OPEN AT ONCE!)
The result is the dog you see here:
A dog that can outrun a Maserati and continue to do so for up to 18 hours at a time (unless it encounters a particularly sharp blade of grass) wants to chomp on ALL OF THE TUGGY THINGS, will throw itself out of second story windows for gits and shiggles, has approximately 9 thoughts a week and is made of broken Twiglets, pipe cleaners and the desperate hope it will all hold together .
! Unfortunately I could apply all of the above to my crazy working cocker 
