Making friends in a new yard

[Keira 8888]

Hi guys!

happy Friday! So.... strange question but I will be joining a new yard next wknd and am quite new to the horsey world. What do you think is the best way to approach things?? Should I be really friendly from the beginning OR not too over familiar so people think I’m a dweeb?

do people like chatty “newbies” or should I take my time to make new friends?

Im nervous!!

 

[Cowpony]

Just be yourself! There will be different types on the yard as everywhere. Smile and say good morning. If you get a curt nod leave it there. If you get a friendly response introduce yourself and let the conversation take its natural course. Don't follow people round the yard to talk to them. If they walk off to do something just get on with your own horse. You'll soon work out who to chat to and who not.

 

[Gingerwitch]

You will be fine but keep your own council and be a bit vague about Adam ant (princes alias) lol you I assume are moving to give any a chance to be a horse, do just leave I at that. Do not become the person on the yard everyone knows their business. You may have some difficult questions regarding Prince and whilst you can come on here and get all sorts of advice both nice and nasty you can switch off from here. It's a bit more difficult in real life. Also book your vet visits discretely, I was at one yard when if you had the vet a group would appear it was awful as they would almost take over.

But you will be fine, I am sure you will be fine, just say hello always smile ask the yard owner the rules.....some liveries interpretation of the yard rules can cause you an issue?

 

[ycbm]

Don't make firm friends with anyone who wants to be your best buddy in the first ten minutes, that's often the yard problem person. Be friendly but wait and see how the yard dynamics play out before you get more friendly with one than another.
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[Trouper]

Don't make firm friends with anyone who wants to be your best buddy in the first ten minutes, that's often the yard problem person. Be friendly but wait and see how the yard dynamics play out before you get more friendly with one than another.
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This absolutely.

 

[Red-1]

From what I can see of your posts on here, you won't have any problem in making friends.

However, I too would stay a sight bit distant to start, as livery yards can be rather intense. I also agree with everyone not knowing everything, as telling the group about it all invites everyone to have a view on what to do, and they won't agree, so you inevitably end up upsetting someone!

 

[stormox]

Just be normal, like you would in a new job. Friendly but normal! Some people will want to chat and spend hours up the yard, others will be rushing to get their horse done before or after work. Play it by ear.

 

[dogatemysalad]

Don't make firm friends with anyone who wants to be your best buddy in the first ten minutes, that's often the yard problem person. Be friendly but wait and see how the yard dynamics play out before you get more friendly with one than another.
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Wise words ycbm. Your comment made me laugh, it's so true.

 

[Lintel]

Keep yourself to yourself.
Don't let people bother you.



-works for me ?

 

[Dave's Mam]

Good luck in your new place! Some yards can be lovely.

 

[Antw23uk]

Avoid them all!

 

[Evie91]

Don't make firm friends with anyone who wants to be your best buddy in the first ten minutes, that's often the yard problem person. Be friendly but wait and see how the yard dynamics play out before you get more friendly with one than another.
.

Finally something the whole forum can agree on. I apply this logic to all areas of life!

 

[Shilasdair]

Avoid the nutters*.

(* Good luck with that: horsey people are all berserkers).

 

[splashgirl45]

just be yourself as others have said, you sound like a reasonable person so you will be fine. i would just be polite and friendly, always say good morning/afternoon/hello or whatever you feel appropriate but get on with your own horse/jobs and its likely people will ask you about prince so best to decide how much you want them to know... good luck

 

[Winters100]

Just be yourself - you are obviously a great person so I am sure that you will be a very welcome addition to your new yard.

 

[Love]

I moved to a new yard last year after being at my last one 8 years - I moved for my job from Yorkshire to Worcestershire. I was terrified!

Our new yard has a Facebook page so I put a post with pictures on there introducing myself and my horse and said I was always up for a hack and would love if people could show me the many many routes we have.

When I was actually on the yard I introduced myself to everyone, made some small talk, asked which horse was theirs and generally just “chit chatted” (again slipping in that I was always up for a hack)! I was very lucky that our new yard is small but very very friendly.

Don’t get dragged in to any drama, keep things light and approachable. You’ll be fine

 

[Flicker]

Things I have found have worked for me:

* casual chatting in the hay loft whilst filling nets etc - weather, TGIF, ugh Monday again...
* saying ‘hi’ to stable neighbours and asking one or two general questions about their horse - breeding, activities, how long they’ve had it etc. Then getting back to your horse.
* being tidy.
* keeping friends and visitors to a minimum - one or two max, not a whole noisy gaggle at the same time.
* treating yard staff with respect and professionalism at all times - their job is tough, dirty and exhausting enough without liveries kvetching all the time. And if yard staff have their own horse at the yard, when they clock off at the end of the day, recognising that they are then fellow liveries and not staff.
* recognising that those who are quickest to share their opinions with you are probably least qualified to hold them.

You will be fine. You seem lovely.

 

[AUB]

I think it’s important to be a bit outgoing and say hello and introduce yourself. But you don’t need to give them your whole lifestory. Just “hi, I’m Keira 8888, the owner of *horse*” or something like that.

 

[Muddywellies]

I've been on DIY yards for most of my horsey life (had them at home for a few years). Been at current yard over three years and I still try to keep myself to myself, remain neutral, and don't get too involved with people. You'll find there is probably someone who causes lots of drama and will try involving you. Never get involved with gossippers and never share your opinions with people as it will bit you in the proverbial. Veeeeryyyy slowly you'll make one or two good friends who you can possibly trust but this takes a long time. So till then, sit on the fence, smile and make polite conversation.
Edited to add
Just read other replies. I agree that you do need to be confident in striking up conversations. If you walk past and ignore people that won't go down well. Be relaxed, cheerful, a little chatty, but always neutral.