Making the decision to PTS when objectively a situation could be improved

It's clear your mare is struggling, and is becoming dangerous to handle. As you say, there may be more going on than is obvious. If you cannot be certain that finding an alternative yard would be good for her, then allow her to go with dignity. You have given her a good retirement, and sadly, you sound to have reached the end of available options. Be gentle with yourself.
 
Oldernewbie said:
I guess I’m just seeking the insight and perspective of other horse people in this as its not a situation I have fabed previously, my last horse sustained a non recoverable injury and there was no choice but to pts.

My horse is 20 and I have owned her for 6 years. Very soon after I bought her she sustained a serious ligament injury and despite treatment and rehab never came sound enough (imo) to ride ‘properly’ again. She came to me with some behavioral issues too which I found challenging and needed livery yard support with.

Once it was clear she would not be ridden again I moved her to another yard which had very specific horse centric management and she lived there for 4 years. Behavior wise she was challenging to begin with but she was able to settle and I could then handle her and enjoy some non ridden activities which was very important for my mental and physical health.

Very sadly the yard closed about 5 months ago. I considered euthanasia then as I knew moving would be very hard on both of us, but in the end I did move her to a new yard where she could live out 24/7 in paired turn out.

Well this was ok but sadly a week ago her friend suddenly died. She has become agitated and the professionals on the yard feel unsafe to handle her. They tried pairing her with another pony but my mare was aggressive so they had to remove her.

My mare has some health issues which need monitoring and treatment which I rely on the yard to do as I am disabled, this now wont be possible.

In addition the conditions at the yard have deteriorated massively due to the constant rain, other liveries have said its the worst its ever been. Lots of really miserable horses.

The last few days I have been up and my poor girl looks scared and so miserable.

I considered moving yards again but feel more and more like we have reached the end of the road. Financially things have been a strain due to my health but I have been willing to keep going feeling she was happy and enjoying life but now thats not the case I am re- evaluating.

I guess I must be seeking permission to let her go, I am finding this decision very hard to make.
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I don't think that putting to sleep a 20 year old with more than one onging health issue is the wrong decision.
Perhaps ask your self what would be the best outcome for you both?

If you continue with your mare what are the chances of her having a happy, field sound life?
How will she cope with potentialy moving again?
How will you cope with moving her again?
How much time do you hope to buy her?

I think you have limited options and , not knowing your horse or her medical problems, from what you have written PTS isn't the worst option for both of you.

The yard staff are having trouble handling her.

Losing their friend can be incredibly stressful for a horse, and attempts to introduce new friends need to be done carefully and slowly.

If you want to continue I think that getting the vet out and trialing her on painkillers might be a last grasp for her. Although if it were me I'd be putting a time limit on that trial of say 4 -6 weeks and if no improvement then you'll be back at the same point. Do you want to put her through a month of potentially miserable life ?

You don't need our permission to let a horse have a dignified end.

Sending gentle hugs.
 
I just wanted to let everyone who was kind enough to comment on this thread that my beautiful girl went to heaven today. I couldn’t bear to be there but my husband, who she knew well and trusted, was. She went peacefully with apples, pears, carrots and her favourite herby treats filling her tummy.
I am feeling so unbelievably guilty and now filled with ‘what ifs’ and self reproach. I hope this passes soon and I can remember her with love and fond memories.
So, so sorry for anyone else facing this most horrendous decision xx
 
The guilt will pass. You would be more guilty if she had injured someone at the yard, or her self, and she was clearly unhappy. She isn't suffereing anymore. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself credit for all you have done for her for the years you had her, and for the final kindness you found the strength to gift ther by having her PTS.
 
Try not to think of’the what ifs’. Try to concentrate on the good memories and the fact you did right by your mare. In time the grief gets easier. You will never forget her and there will be times when you might have a ‘wobble’ when a memory comes into your head but for now be easy on yourself. You are a good mum to listen to your horse. Some people don’t xx
 
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