Making the final decision :(

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Aru

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Sometimes I hate my job :(

My own dog Jess has done her cruciate ligament on her right hind. However she is a 12 year old lab and has severe arthritis in her hips and left elbow,the arthritis has been managed so far on Meloxicam and supplements, however now with the muscle loss from her hip problems her cruciate has completely ruptured. :( and I can imagine that the second one is likely to go soon.

She is still very lame even on stronger meds at the moment,she done the damage on friday,although her appetite and normal atitude is back but I know its not a long term solution ....and she really isn't a good candidate for surgery.

I always said it was better a day to early than a day to late but jesus making this decision is killing me :(

Tomorrow she's getting a stronger shot of the painkillers, as much food as she wants...a great treat for a lab who's been on a diet for years... and in the evening after a lot of fuss she will go for her final sleep....I know its the kindest thing to do at this stage and I am lucky that I can do this for her when she is at home,happy and settled rather than bringing her in...so why do I feel so horribly guilty that I am killing my dog?
 
I made this decision on 19th January - wish I had done it a few days earlier but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I actually felt relieved once she'd gone as knew she was no longer in any discomfort and we had done everything we could. She didn't fight and went really quickly. I believe she was also relieved.

She was a rising 15 year old Border Collie who was full of life.

Not easy but your post says you know you are doing the right thing even if goes against your training. You are not killing your dog as you well know - put yourself in a client's place; it may make it a tiny bit easier. Good luck.
 
I hope it goes smoothly. Its always harder to make a decision about your own animal than a clients because at the end of the day you can look at a clients animal from a purely medical/ethical point of view - with your own there is always emotion involved. It sounds like you are making the best decision from the options available to you. x
 
ditto above - its so hard making the final decision. :(

you know yourself animals dont want to feel pain, so your doing the right thing by her....dosent make it any easier though

I hope she passes as peacefully as possible.
 
Im so sorry to read this, you are of course putting her first and as you suggest you would advise a client no different.
I hope all goes well and although the hardest part I do have to say I also feel lucky I can have mine go to sleep at home cuddled in and troffing some food down and getting a big hug, my last whippet lay on the sette eating a large bar of dairy milk:eek: before my colleague and very good friend came to see her off to sleep.
My heart goes out to you, having just had my rottie x-rayed for fore leg lameness (I was besides myself with worry) I put it off for weeks) and whilst I sat upstairs at work like a chicken in the staff room:o whist she was under and my boss was xraying her I was a bit of a mess, I came down to (all clear) no sign of bone cancer), probable onset arthritis, I cannot tell you the relief.

Huge hugs your and your girl (((( ))))
 
Aru, what a kind and loving owner you are, your dog is very lucky to be owned by you. Would you forgo the 12 wonderful years you have had together, to avoid the pain you are feeling right now? Of course you wouldn't. The final goodbye is the last act of love we can give to our pets, and aren't we lucky that we can? Keep strong till she has gone, you've the rest of your life to grieve. Big hugs coming your way...
 
Please don't beat yourself up - you are not killing your dog, you are letting her go with dignity, & alleviating further suffering. You said yourself that the second crutiate ligament would probably go soon - you are saving her from having to go through any more. A selfish owner would keep her going for their own satisfaction. You are making the most difficult decision an owner even has to, & putting her welfare before any sadness you will have to face. She's a good age, & will be able to just snuggle up in loving arms & go to sleep in the comfort of her own home. Stay strong xx
 
You have nothing to feel guilty for, as a vet you are aware that you have done everything possible for your dog, as the owner you are experiencing something we have all gone through and the nagging doubt as to whether we are doing the right thing. You are doing the right thing and the way you have chosen the way for her to go is testament to the love and respect you have for Jess.

Thinking of you both, hugs to you. x
 
Please don't feel guilty, you are putting her first, and it is what you would recommend to a client. You know you are doing the right thing for her, you are just facing the doubts we all go through at this time, no doubt made extra hard because of your job.
 
Horrible for you but your dog doesn't know what is coming. The suffering is all from your side and not hers.

Just desperately sorry for you as losing our pets is incredibly hard and sometimes the run up is worst than dealing with the actual loss.
 
I just wanted to say thank you for all your kind words and support on here.

My lovely jess went gently and thankfully very easily off to her final sleep earlier this week...she had a fine feed of spuds and with gravy lamb bits to distract her from the first injection and slept happily beside me until the second. I off course was in bits but you will have that.

I have to admit I still come home ever day from work and expect to see her coming pottering to say hello :(

Thanks again for all and sorry it took me so long to respond back.
 
A few pictures....she doesn't look as old as she was would have turned 12 in a few weeks. This was her this week posing and loving the fact she was getting treats and scraps adlib!

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Some older pics

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Aru, you have my profound sympathies, and I do so understand.

H Frank Wallace once said, "I sometimes wonder if the pleasure of owning them is worth the pain of the parting". You will agree, I'm sure.

a.
 
We have all felt like that Alec haven't we,but despite the pain at times of loss the memories of all the good times do shine through. Thinking of you Aru.x
 
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