Making the hard decision to sell my horse

ktj1891

ktj1891

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I have a lovely lovely horse who I have owned for 5 years. However, it is becoming more and more apparent that we are no longer compatible.

He's such a laid back lad and isn't fussed about anything I do with him I.e. He would quite happily not be ridden whereas I am now at the stage I want to do more competition wise particularly some lower level eventing 80-90cm.
He could quite easily do the above and he does compete to 80 but his heart just isn't in it and he looks to me for confidence or direction however as I'm not the most confident jumping I can't always give that to him if I am feeling my nerves.

My question really is how do you cope with selling your horse. I have only owned 2 horses in my life him and my first pony. I have never sold a horse and the prospect of doing that plus finding another terrifies me.

I love him to pieces and I'm so worried about finding him a loving home it's always prevented me from selling him and getting something else that wants to do more what I want to. I guess I'm looking for some advice and moral support.
 
Unfortunately you cannot guarantee that your horse will have a loving home. You can do your utmost to ensure you sell him to someone who you feel will give him the home you desire, but if their circumstances change and they need to sell him on, you will have no say in where he ultimately ends up. There are loads of very good homes out there, but there is no 100% guarantee when you sell your horse that he will always be looked after as you hope he would be. This is why I have never been able to sell a horse. Could you loan him? And look for a loan horse yourself?
 
I've just done exactly this for very similar reasons...except with my boy I'd reached the point where I didn't really enjoy riding him any more so it was a no brainer.

He went to his new home on Friday and judging by the pics and amount of messages I've received since, she and he couldn't be happier.

I'm not going to lie, there were a couple of times where I wobbled and doubted I was making the right choice...better the devil you know and all that...but when I sat on the horse I've just paid a deposit on it suddenly all made sense and I knew I'd made the right choice.

That said, it took me about a year to really commit to the idea of selling him and once I'd finally made the decision I had to distance myself from him a little as I really did love him as a person...he just wasn't the horse for me.
 
Selling horses isn't easy.

I was heartbroken when my first pony went to a new home. But I was too big for him so it was always going to happen.

I was less heartbroken when my second pony went to a new home; we just never clicked and he really knocked my confidence. He has been very loved since and I have no doubt he will continue to be.

I was actually really upset when we sold our companion shetland pony. He was a dude!

You really have to think of the bigger picture when selling a horse. You can't control everything sadly. And not many of us have the luxury of being able to 'collect' horses.

You've recognised he won't take you where you want. You would both be frustrated if you tried to make it work. Keep that in mind. You're doing the right thing and allowing him the opportunity to make someone else very happy.
 
I've sold 2 over the last 15 years when I realised we weren't suited. They were both much happier with new owners. I was totally honest about who they were, what they could do and what quirks they had.

Look at it this way: Most people, if they are lucky (or mad) enough to own a horse, also don't own their own land. Which means they will probably only own one at a time, due to livery fees. And they do it because it's supposed to be fun.

Let's be generous and say you own your first horse when you are 20 years old. And you buy, say, a 5 year old as many people do. If you stay riding and and solvent and THEY stay healthy, it may well mean that you will only own 4 or maybe 5 horses in your life. That's not many.

Make sure the ones you own are as suited to you as you are to them.
 
It is hard. I had a horse that I really should have sold as I liked jumping and he was brilliant at home but switched off completely at shows. He actually destroyed my confidence because he regularly dumped me in the ring. He probably would have been happier with someone who wanted to do dressage as he seemed to enjoy that more. However, as a person I adored him. He had a lovely nature on the ground and was a real character.

Also, I felt like I'd be admitting I was a failure if I sold him. In hindsight I should have and bought myself something that wanted to jump at shows. Because my confidence got so battered I actually put him on loan and gave up horses for six years.

Now I'm older and wiser I'd say sell him and get one that you can enjoy to the full. Would it be feasible for you to put your current horse on loan, then you have control over what happens to him or do you need to sell to fund a new one?
 
I would struggle with a horse that was not a competitive jumper. I love my horse because he has endless scope, is brave, forgiving and makes what ever tasks I want to endeavour easy and fun.
However he is bright, athletic and full of personality. He can go from a quiet plod to a caprioling reining prospect in a nanosecond because he thought he heard something in the hedge! He is not dangerous or nasty but with a horse that has enough about him to get you to the other side of whatever jump you are brave enough to face despite stride or nerves or whatever other challenge you might present can come with other personality traits!
Put it this way.... a forgiving horse to carry you and win round an 80/90/1m whatever course may not be the easiest horse to hack or take part in other activities.
If I was you I would sell your horse but make sure it's not a case of grass is greener as a competitive horse cab come with his own limitations.
 
I sold my first horse due to financial reasons around 10 years ago. I was very very honest about him, vetted the potential owners more than they questioned me, chose a specific type of home (pony club home, own land and transport with a few horses that they have had for life).

I was so blatantly honest and wasn't in a rush to sell him but could have sold him 10 X over. I cried like a baby when he left (so much do they actually suggested they don't buy him).

I went to visit him last month (for the first time, haven't been able to up until now, but now I have Lottie I'm ok with seeing him). He looked wonderful and has had the most amazing life. It can work out. I also stayed in touch with them throughout. Facebook is great for that as you can see pics etc without being intrusive, so it's been easier recently.

I wouldn't do it again though. Lottie will nevee be sold as I now have friends who would let me have a field cheap if needed. That wasn't an option to me years ago.
 
i think you might be cutting off your nose to spite the face here. I think you should firstly look at some jumping lessons NOT on your horse then work on them with him. If you have nerves now you'll be needing a confidence giver over fences but that might come with a more annoying horse in other ways. If the only thing wrong with your horse is that he feels your nerves I think that's a you problem rather than a him problem - if that makes sense.

Of course if you want to try something new and move on that's okay too but I feel you still want this horse just a bit more from him.
 
monkeymad said:
Unfortunately you cannot guarantee that your horse will have a loving home. You can do your utmost to ensure you sell him to someone who you feel will give him the home you desire, but if their circumstances change and they need to sell him on, you will have no say in where he ultimately ends up. There are loads of very good homes out there, but there is no 100% guarantee when you sell your horse that he will always be looked after as you hope he would be. This is why I have never been able to sell a horse. Could you loan him? And look for a loan horse yourself?
Click to expand...

I couldn't loan him out and loan another as I'm not in the position to be able to take him back if they wanted to as I am on livery.
 
nikkimariet said:
Selling horses isn't easy.

I was heartbroken when my first pony went to a new home. But I was too big for him so it was always going to happen.

I was less heartbroken when my second pony went to a new home; we just never clicked and he really knocked my confidence. He has been very loved since and I have no doubt he will continue to be.

I was actually really upset when we sold our companion shetland pony. He was a dude!

You really have to think of the bigger picture when selling a horse. You can't control everything sadly. And not many of us have the luxury of being able to 'collect' horses.

You've recognised he won't take you where you want. You would both be frustrated if you tried to make it work. Keep that in mind. You're doing the right thing and allowing him the opportunity to make someone else very happy.
Click to expand...

No its not and I have never sold any of my horses as the thought of it just terrifies me and I know I would be heartbroken but at the same time I think he would be happier in a different home.
 
Mrs B said:
Look at it this way: Most people, if they are lucky (or mad) enough to own a horse, also don't own their own land. Which means they will probably only own one at a time, due to livery fees. And they do it because it's supposed to be fun.

Let's be generous and say you own your first horse when you are 20 years old. And you buy, say, a 5 year old as many people do. If you stay riding and and solvent and THEY stay healthy, it may well mean that you will only own 4 or maybe 5 horses in your life. That's not many.

Make sure the ones you own are as suited to you as you are to them.
Click to expand...

This is very true and often what some of my friends tell me!
 
equi said:
i think you might be cutting off your nose to spite the face here. I think you should firstly look at some jumping lessons NOT on your horse then work on them with him. If you have nerves now you'll be needing a confidence giver over fences but that might come with a more annoying horse in other ways. If the only thing wrong with your horse is that he feels your nerves I think that's a you problem rather than a him problem - if that makes sense.

Of course if you want to try something new and move on that's okay too but I feel you still want this horse just a bit more from him.
Click to expand...

I may very well be cutting off my nose despite my face. He really is a lovely lad but he's just so indifferent with everything, he isn't enthusiastic about jumping or dressage or anything really although he will do it for me. He just doesn't have any buzz or get up and go in him out competing. Don't get me wrong I don't want to go out and win I just want to have fun and feel I can get around a 90cm without my nerves preventing the horse from doing the job.

I really do love him but I don't 'enjoy' him as such because he just doesn't seem that interested himself. I do get nervous and I agree I don't think any horse I ride or have will stop me getting nerves its just the way I am built with jumping, however, I do know there are horses out there that will just jump for me regardless (I have one) and that's what I am sort of looking to get, something that just thoroughly loves being worked and going out and about.
 
My part loan is like that, i feel like im constantly forcing him to work (and lets face it...we are) but thats fine for me with my own nerves. Anything more forward and i'm always on edge feeling like i need to rein them back in.

I would, if i was you, give the summer a proper go and work on him a lot more as in work on activating him and getting him to feel like he is enjoying the work more.

Your "what i want" horse sounded pretty much like the one you have ;) at the end of the day given a choice, no horse would go riding lol
 
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