Making the horrid decision to book in PTS

[fornema]

My girl did her suspensionary irreparable damage end 2021, referral vets first option was PTS. We tried all the therapies and while these worked for a while her size has meant she has now declined again and we are now at the point where I need to make that decision to PTS. I’m really struggling with booking that day in, she has good days but some really awful days.

How did you convince yourself to book it and stick to it (apart from the obvious that I am doing it to save her pain)?

 

[Peglo]

Both of mine were elderly and got to a good age so that made the decision easier but for one I organised it for the next day as I didn’t want to agonise over it. I’d made the decision, knew it was for the best and needed it over with. The other was 2 days after I made the phone call and that was longer than I’d like. But everyone is different. Some folk need that last week with them.

So very sorry you’re in the situation. I hope you can find peace in your decision and know you’ve done best by her.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

Once I make the decision I do it as soon as possible same day if I can I can't do the agonising waiting for days or weeks, but everyone is different it's such personal thing and it's never easy sorry your having to go through it.

 

[FestiveG]

Look at the horses worst day and ask yourself if you could cope with her having a day when she's worse. If the answer is no, then you know you have made the right decision. When the original appy reached the end, with a slow decline, she walked to the yard like a snail, then realised there was a man on the yard and did her best "Marilyn Monroe " sway and swagger and looked to be in her prime. It really was still the right call to make for her.
Best wishes to you, it's the best final act we can do for them.

 

[tda]

It is hard, but your post above is enough to make the decision you are the advocate for your horse.
Do it today or the next day xx

 

[mini-eventer]

I booked my old boy in a fortnight ago. It was so hard to make that phone call, but I had worked myself up so much it was a relief once I did it. It was hard again waiting for the day to come.

I feel for you as its not nice, but you know it is the right thing to do or else you wouldn't be writing this. I am sad but I don't regret it I am sad for me and my other horse not him. Do it this afternoon, you will feel better for it

 

[meesha]

I booked it in for previous mare few days in advance and every day waiting was torture.

I would ring in the morning and request same day, that's what I did this time ... Not out of choice but as horse had gone significantly downhill overnight and there was no other choice. It was a Sunday but vet arranged for our lovely local lady to arrive at same time to collect my chap after PTS. With hindsight the wait is the worst bit....

 

[Alibear]

It's never easy, I sorted out potential collection days and then rang the vet, and they only had one time they could do it that week so that's what happened. Once I'd decided in my mind I rang up and got it sorted as I felt it would be wrong to delay. It's different for everyone and whatever you decide will be right.

 

[meesha]

Just to add the calling vet was awful but the overwhelming emotion after PTS was relief for both the horse and me. Both times it was relief with of course sadness ....

 

[meleeka]

Once I make the decision I do it as soon as possible same day if I can I can't do the agonising waiting for days or weeks, but everyone is different it's such personal thing and it's never easy sorry your having to go through it.

This is what I do too. I’m not worried about giving them a good last week/day, as Im sure they don’t actually care.

One thing I will say is making the call is the hardest bit, or it has been for me anyway. I’m always slightly relieved when it’s done and I don’t have to worry about it anymore.

 

[Polos Mum]

Actually phoning - I wimp out and get my husband to do it - I can't get the words out.

Online there are really useful guides to elderly dog quality of life, you can adapt those really easily for horses (score out of 5 for getting up and down, playing, maintaining weight) that sort of thing. You can do them regularly and keep a track of your 'scores' so you can spot when they just drift down too much or the bad days outweigh the good. I find having scores over time helps me definitively track when it's time.

Sometimes when we are very close to them it's hard to spot the slow deterioration. If you have an honest friend - ask them for an opinion too.

Also keep in mind my philosophy of better a month too soon than a day too late. Even if it is a tiny bit too soon, how bad would it be to find them unable to get up or really struggling to breath (or whatever the issue is!)

 

[meleeka]

Also keep in mind my philosophy of better a month too soon than a day too late. Even if it is a tiny bit too soon, how bad would it be to find them unable to get up or really struggling to breathe (or whatever the issue is!)

That’s a really good point. With my most recent one I just thought “What am I waiting for?”. She wasn’t going to get better, only worse, so I like to think I just prevented her from suffering. She went eating crab apples, which were always forbidden, so it wasn’t a bad way to go.

 

[Xmasha]

I ask myself does the horse have a good quality of life, if not then i let them go.

Im sorry you are going through this, its tough but its the right thing.

 

[FinnishLapphund]

What if the next really awful day is not followed by a good day, without by another awful day, and another awful day?
It's so tempting to want to keep them just a little while longer, and it's hard to give up the hope about that maybe the next e.g. 2 weeks will be filled with good days. But do you want to risk maybe having to euthanise her on a really bad day, perhaps knowing that the day before that had also been a bad day for her, or do you want to do it on a day when there's still things she's able to enjoy, and you can spoil her with some yummy treats?

That's the type of factual difference the talk about better a day too soon, than a day too late, is about. That if you wait too long, maybe she won't be able to get up, maybe all appetite will be gone, and you won't be able to tempt her with even the yummiest of treats...
Some people say they just saw it/something, and knew his/her time had come. To be honest, for me, in all my years of owning cats, and dogs (and as a child/teen other small pets), the majority of times when I've made an euthanasia decision, it's just been a difficult decision which I've doubted all the way to the vet clinic. But my doubts was caused by my wish of wanting just a bit more time with them, if that makes sense.

{{{{Hugs}}}}

 

[eggs]

Sadly I think that once you start questioning whether you should pts the answer is that you should.

I have found that making the call is the worst part and there is almost a sense of relief once it is done.

I once made the mistake of booking my dog in for the Monday so that I could have the weekend with her but on the Monday morning she deteriorated really badly and I wish I had stuck with my original plan of booking the previous Friday.

It is an awful thing to have to do but you are doing it as the last favour for your beloved horse.

 

[Barton Bounty]

I agree with pink, I also think that it is the kindest thing you can do for your best friend. You never want them to feel pain or struggle so when the bad outweighs the good then it is time and remember its not a bad thing to do, its just their time

 

[claracanter]

So sorry to hear this OP, you must be devastated. We are probably facing the same thing next year as one of our horses has chronic and acute psd behind. He hasn’t improved since May and vets have now recommended turning him away until June next year. Could you get someone else to make the call or at least pass the phone to them so they do all the arranging and they just tell you when.

 

[Melody Grey]

Sorry you’re facing this OP, for me, a massive line in decision making is if I feel we’re waiting for an accident. Could we choose now a dignified end over an emergency. That usually convinces me it’s time.

 

[nagblagger]

Have you decided how you want her to go. If you are seriously thinking about it, it is probably time.
I find if i use the knackersman he comes out same day, normally as soon as i make the phonecall so hardly any waiting time which i find a lot better.
Last year i had to 'pre-book' (due to circumstances at the time) to have 2 old best buddies PTS together and the wait of a week was mental torture.

 

[SEL]

Picking up the phone to the vet is absolutely the worst part - but remember they deal with it regularly and know exactly the right questions to ask you

My last one was awful because he was the equine love of my life and I needed to phone when my OH wasn't in the room. I thought I'd hold it together but dissolved into tears as soon as I spoke to the poor receptionist.

It was a relief once the call had been made and the date set. I'd been having sleepless nights because I knew it was his time.

Sorry OP - never, ever easy xx

 

[Cortez]

It is unfortunately part (the worst part) of owning horses, or any animal really. I am very much of the "better a month too soon..." fraternity. If you can think of how awful you feel when very ill or in pain, and then think of that continuing, or perhaps getting worse, without the possibility of getting better, then the decision becomes the only right thing to do. I have little time for people who keep their horses going to salve their own feelings; it's not about you......

ETA and as others have said, do it as soon as you can; it's the waiting that is the worst part. I am lucky in that our local huntsman will come out immediately; my last horse was down within 15 minutes of my call.

 

[w1bbler]

Having once done the 'day to late' it is a mistake I will never repeat. It is something that never leaves you.
What you describe is aa horse who is clearly living with chronic pain & no chance of improvement. The call is hard, maybe ask someone else to actually call for you. The relief afterwards when you know its the right decision helps with the grief.

 

[honetpot]

I am an over planner, so I work out all my angest before, cry do what ever and make a plan that makes it as easy on the animal as possible, and stick to it. Its a bit like going to dentist, or having a baby, its enevitable that there is going to be pain, so there is no point in prolonging it, and make their last day a good day.
I am in double figures for PTS, as I kept all our old ponies, and the ones that give me real heartache are the ones that are unplanned and done in not ideal conditions, in IME do sooner than later. Good luck and a hug.

 

[IrishMilo]

I echo what everyone else has said but also want to reassure you that in my experience the build up is much, much worse than the act itself and aftermath. It it helps at all, any horse I owned who had 'really awful days' from a degenerative condition would be PTS immediately with no doubt in my mind and I would perceive it as a kindness.

 

[Orangehorse]

I phoned the vet, fighting back the tears, and said I needed to discuss PTS and could someone come out that day (as it happened it was a foul day, a storm so I had left them in the stable anyway.) I had already booked a visit for the following day the day before as I could see he was going downhill but there didn't seem to be a huge urgency. Then there was a rapid deterioration and I knew that "this was it."

The vet came that afternoon and simply agreed with me. She said it might be possible to do blood tests, this that and the other but I said I thought that would be pointless and she agreed. She examined him all over, listened to his heart - something a bit wrong - and we calmly discussed the whole picture and all the things that were wrong. I asked if she would be the one to come and she agreed. She then gave him a huge syringe of painkiller, she said it was a bit like morphine, and another one to relax him. She arranged for the collection.

I was so grateful for the injections. After a night in the stable I was able to turn him out as normal on a lovely September morning, he wasn't lame and looked happy and looked better overall than he had for some time, so the injections had worked. He was still the same horse, same personality. The vet came at about 1.00 p.m. so he had the morning out with his friend. Seen in the open air we could see just how thin he had become and the vet said I was doing the right thing as she thought there must be something internal to cause the weight loss.

So he went on a nice September morning. He didn't endure days of pain, or being confined to a stable, he never had colic so he died as he had lived - nothing but the best.

I'm still so sad about it, but I know I did the very best and he didn't suffer. That's all you can do in the end.

And it is true that the thinking about it is harder than when it is over. It is a bit of a relief, even if you are very upset and sad.

 

[Polar Bear9]

If you can't bring yourself to call and have a good relationship with your vet then you can always text them. That's what I did with mine, I knew if I called I would break down and not be able to get the words out but it was time so I sent a very long text spiel to my personal vet. She was so sympathetic and understood that I couldn't talk about it so the whole thing was arranged over text.

It's the worst decision but it's made easier when you know it's the right decision.

 

[poiuytrewq]

If you can't bring yourself to call and have a good relationship with your vet then you can always text them. That's what I did with mine, I knew if I called I would break down and not be able to get the words out but it was time so I sent a very long text spiel to my personal vet. She was so sympathetic and understood that I couldn't talk about it so the whole thing was arranged over text.

It's the worst decision but it's made easier when you know it's the right decision.

I did that last time too. The vet knew why.

 

[Caol Ila]

I had a wee calendar and drew a happy face on it when she had a good day and a sad face when she had a bad day. But I made the call when a great friend, who had not seen the horse in a year, came to the yard to visit us, looked at the condition of the horse, and said, "Oh, my God, you need to call the vet." She saw deterioration that I could not. I phoned the vet. We booked the PTS a week from that phone call, which was the most miserable, saddest week, ever, and I questioned my decision every day because the horse had days where she was bright and not that ataxic. But I spoiled her rotten. Then on the day we put her to sleep, I discovered that my 2-year old filly was pregnant and likely to foal that week (she did), so I never really did process my old mare's death. Just careened into a state of benumbed WTF.

 

[Snow Falcon]

I had one of my mares put down a few weeks ago. She had suddenly gone downhill and was so weak. I rang the hunt and they came straight away. Left a 4 month old foal behind but it was the right thing to do, there was something seriously wrong. You make that call when you question the quality of life. It's the kindest thing you do for them.

Sorry you are facing making the decision, the waiting is the worst part after making it so I ask for hunt/vet to come asap. Everyone is different and will do what is best for them.

 

[Lucky Snowball]

I'm so sorry for your position. I agree, as soon as possible. So sorry.