me and new mare aren't gettin on confidence lost already!

gembob

Well-Known Member
Joined
5 April 2008
Messages
409
Location
Rotherham
Visit site
she has become a totaly different horse since she arrived, after breakin a couple of my ribs on thurs after the farrier incident she has become a nightmare.

Shes now in season along side a 1 yr old filly we have they have paired up and wnt let each other out of sight! i tried to get Chloe in the school today to work with her but Venus wasnt having it and she ran the field shouting her head off to chloe so she decided sod this im off too and jumped out the school!!! luckily i had taken the lead rope off her as i knew something would happen if Venus goes to the stable Chloe paces and shouts same vice versa.

I cnt hold her when she like this at the min as i pain with ribs im wondering if old owners had her on kalmers before she came as this isnt the horse i viewed unfortunatly
 
humm mares! I have a mare and can be tough at times. try her on blue chip karmer £22 a bottle or nomad £15 a tub, works 4 me!! what does she have for her food! as i find to much starch in food dos'nt help, i now use equilibrium "low" this helps a gr8 deal. I have done a lot of shopping around listerned to people and found the Equilibrium a gr8 help.
 
Oh no, major sympathies for you.

I felt like you last week when my new mare was a complete nightmare and spooked, napped and whinnied the whole time out hacking on her own. She seemed to go into season as soon as I got her too but has come out of it this weekend thankfully.

I have perserved though and she has been an angel this weekend. Took advice off folk on here that I should give her time to settle in as it is very, very early days. She seems to be quieting down now.

My problem isn't as bad as yours though obviously due to her breaking your ribs already. Healing vibes!!!!!

What about sticking her on calmer until she does settle down a bit?

I think they sometimes pair bond very quickly as they are so nervous of being in a new home and need a protective friend asap. So when you take them away from their new 'minder' they get very uptight and scared so will do anything to get back to their comfort zone.

Hope you don't feel you have to give up just yet.
xx
 
We have always found that mares take a while to settle and would not try and work them for a couple of weeks after they arrive. Also when our Appy is in season she is a total menace. I would try and seperate them for short periods each day, so that htey learn that they are then put back together. Hope whe settles down and they both work well, also hope your ribs heal soon (didn't see the post about when she broke them)
 
oh chicky!!
Do you have any kind of warrenty? or a cooling off period? The phrase, 'Sold as seen' is bad.

I know it's a hard decision but you may have to make it. Sending her back is NOT admitting defeat, It is recognising a relationship that may not work, same as splitting up with an aggressive partner, before he beats you really hard. Ribs is not a lively horse, it's a very bolshy one.

Things I would be thinking about to make the decision:
Do you have time/experience/patience/inclinaton to sort her out?
Do you have any kind of opt out/cooling off period in your agreement?
I would also ring the vet and ask how long mild sedations could be detected in a blood sample after they are administered (I don't know), If you are within period and it's not too expensive, maybe get him to check her. If she was sedated, it won't matter if you have cooling period, you have more chance of success.
Speak to the old owner, amicably, but don't naively believe everything!!
Seperate them if possible, now, while you decide what to do longer term, it may make an immediate difference.
I would also start looking at publications again and maybe go see a couple of other options so you can see what you could have instead. They may seem a relief or boring by comparison!
I would also consider who I have on hand, instructers etc to help me sort her out.
Mares can be difficult but as a result they understand us when we're difficult, I will only have mares for myself! It is a bad time of year to judge her, but don't let that become an excuse.

I had one that I wouldn't give up on, Magic, and she put a different person in hospital everytime I went on holiday for 3 yrs till I outgrew her. The joy of having one I can cuddle and trust to behave in (most) situations hasn't worn off 14yrs after I bought Magic's replacement (Lottie). She may have won fewer competitions in the 14 yrs I've had her than Magic did in 3, but she's so much more fun.

Flip side, I bought a foal that savaged every1 in sight last year. She dragged me and reared and struck me everytime I led her. She is now a lovely (if slightly lively) 2 yr old and enjoys her kisses and cuddles very much.

At the end of the day it's your call but be realistic and brave. Good luck what ever you do.
 
i was really nervous about trying to lunge her today then we didnt even get to the point of putting a lunge line on before she had gone! i need to get her working before she goes to be backed as she has no muscle at all. She is defo a rearer though if she doesnt want to walk on she goes up no matter what! i didnt bet on taking that on and i certainly cant risk things where i got her from have said i can have so long to send her back if we dont get on etc i dnt want to give up so soon but i dnt feel safe with her at the min
 
she literally had me and farrier pinned against wall and reared up coming crashing down on me my chest stomach and legs are black!
 
people do things differently, I'm less concerned about time to settle without work, ours get to competitions most week, no such luxery in a new place, though we do introduce to the others slowly.

I bought Hope on saturday and she settled in and stopped shouting within 48 hours.

I would also be careful if you seperate for short periods, you may end up reinforcing her behaviour, the screaming is rewarded by you reuniting them, so she will learn to do it all the more, don't reunite till she stops yelling if possible.
 
Perhaps put her on a calmer or stroppy mare supplement? She could be attached to her new friend out of insecurity and anxiety at new location - may be an idea to familiarise her with her surroundings on a lead or lunge? Perhaps form a routine for your grooming/riding/feeding etc to help her settle more or spend some time around the 2 of them in the field doing poo picking etc so she feels as safe around you as she does with her new 4 legged friend?

I find mares much more tricky in general than geldings to handle but it is worth persevering a little longer as once you have bonded it will be worth it. I hope your ribs heal quickly hun! Lots of hugs!! xXx
 
Give her back sweetie,if she has damaged you like that and she is rearing....send her back now while you can,i wont touch a rearer with a bargepole,leave her for some1 else....get yourelf something you can bring on and have fun on,not kill you!
Edited to say....i dont like mares full stop never have
smile.gif
,no disrespect to those that have them as if you have a good 1 they will go to the end of the earth for you,i just do not like them....high maintenance
 
SEND HER BACK!!

Sorry, but now that you have said that she is a rearer, I would never take any chances with such a horse.

If I bought a rearer, I'd get rid as soon as. It is far, far too dangerous to take a risk on such an animal. All it would take is for said horse to fall over on top of you and that might be your riding days over for the rest of your life!

It requires a very experienced person to deal with that sort of thing and you certainly don't want to lose what confidence you have dealing with what is a very dangerous vice.
 
This is not you!! It can take a couple of goes to find your soul-horse, it's worth persevereing!
This horse has learnt this behaviour a lot more thoroughly than you have!! Un learning is 20 times harder. You have a way to return her with dignity, they have said they will have her back. The longer you leave it the more risk you put yourself at and the more you open yourself up to them claiming you have allowed her to do this and reducing the amount they give you back. My sis is sitting with me nodding and agreeing. make the braver choice and send her back, find something you can love. It's easier to feed a lazy horse energy than chill a loopy one out!!
 
she has nocked me for 6 im not a nervous person but the way she is has really shaken me she isnt scared at all u can see it a mile off shes just a cowbag it isnt a hop either its vertical! im really considering sending her back just feel devastated that i got into this i have spent a fortune on her already and i know i wont get this back iv paid for her injections as shed never had any freezmarking backwoman teeth are all booked in
 
I had one go over on me, (Horrid geldingy thing, I never took to and should have sent back way before got to that) and I dimly remember lying taped to a hospital trolley concused while some doctor told my sis they needed to xray me to find out WHERE I'd broken my neck, Luckily he meant IF as his english was not good!!
SEND BACK please before you scare your family or worse. Take the loss on the chin as an adult and learn from it, this is one of lifes rubbish experiences but you clearly do not like this horse. I don't like it much either!!!!
xx
 
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SEND HER BACK

Take the loss of money and chalk it up to experience. You think her rearing vertical is scary, just wait until you're on it and it does that, and perhaps goes over back on you and breaks your back.

Your health is worth more than any money.
 
All these bookings can be cancelled.

You may not have another chance to undo any further damage she may do to you though. So take the hit money-wise and do the sensible thing and send her back and look for a more suitable horse that won't give you this type of stress and pain!

This is only 1 horse and there are hundreds available out there that will give you fun rather than fear!
 
CANCEL anything you've booked, explain, you can always rebook if she has a sudden change of behaviour. . . unlikely I'm afraid, big difference rearing as fear reaction compared to as you describe which is a learned behaviour.
 
I think you've already decided. You just need to know that your not giving up, read the posts, people are not judging or suggesting you try, the reaction is unanimous.
 
i know your all right, im almost def sure she was on something that took days to get out of her system as she has only just started like this since thurs exac a week after i got her farrier got knocked about too he thinks she shud go back and i know he didnt want to quit on her but he had no choice
 
Well done huni, me and Josafiend proud of you!!
Blacksmith is pro and his opinion counts for a hell of a lot.
Brave decision, you will now find the perfect horse.
xx
 
[ QUOTE ]
she has nocked me for 6 im not a nervous person but the way she is has really shaken me she isnt scared at all u can see it a mile off shes just a cowbag it isnt a hop either its vertical! im really considering sending her back just feel devastated that i got into this i have spent a fortune on her already and i know i wont get this back iv paid for her injections as shed never had any freezmarking backwoman teeth are all booked in

[/ QUOTE ]
You wll have your health sweet,and a back that isnt broken!!!
smile.gif
Send her back and cancel rest!!!she is not your problem!!!
 
If you ever hit Grantham, my old mare Lottie is very concerned about your ribs and bruising, and has offered to give you cuddles and kisses to try and restore the balance!!! Off to bed. Well done biting the bullet huni.
x
 
OMG!!! After reading your subsequent posts (wrote my reply after just reading your initial one) I would definitely say send her back hun. And your bruise - argh!! You have the option to return her to the seller and you definitely should as she will only damage your confidence further. You mentioned that she doesn't look as though she is scared - she is just a cowbag. It is obviously not anxiety or insecurity as I suggested - she just has no manners and not a nice temperament. You deserve better! xXx
 
I havent followed your posts but I presume this horse was not sold as a project or with know vices etc, and I presume you haven't had it long ???
If so, then be brave and speak to the old owners by phone or better still face to face, it's too easy for them to ignore an email. Tell them the horse is dangerous, not as described and insist on a full refund - oh and take a witness with you.
Act quickly and document everything that has happened with dates, paperwork and photo's. A statement from the farrier and anyone else that has witnessed it's behaviour would be good too, as would video footage of the horses behaviour (without putting yourself at anymore risk). Keep the advert that was used to sell the horse too.
You have a good case if this went to small claims court so make sure the old owners know you intend to take it all the way including compo for your injuries, cost of keeping the horse etc unless they take the horse back now and give you a full refund of the purchase price.
Oh and don't waste your money on calmers, this horses behaviour is not something that will be helped with a few herbs, but if you are sure it was 'doped' before purchase then have it blood tested by your vet asap.
 
She is only young and very new to you. I sold her and the latched on to another horse and attacked anyone who came near. it was totally out of character. She came back to me and was the same easy mare i had had before. So I would give her more time to settle.
 
Send her back, if you've lost confidence with her she will just play on it - I have a filly with similar breeding and there are days when she pushes you, difference is I bought her as a foal and she has learnt to respect us (sometimes the hard way). The way I see it is that you can either send her away for someone else to teach her manners or you can save your sanity and potentially your health by sending her back.
 
Top