Might be long and rambling but got a dilemma...

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ChestnutConvert

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I have posted before, including last night, about the napping horse that i am riding. Basically i pay a bit towards his upkeep and can ride when i like but i am the only one riding him as his owner no longer does. This means that as i can't ride every day he gets out 2/3 times a week and has nothing inbetween.
I've been having napping problems to day the least, the result of which has totally blown my confidence on the road yesterday. I don't have access to a school although i would love to school him as i'd like to get further in dressage.

My dilemma is that the yard i work at, not the same place that said horse is kept, has a couple of horses that probably need an extra rider. Both are dressage horses and the yard has great facilities, schools, off road hacking etc.

I really feel that even if i sort the napping probs with current horse, i'll only ever be hacking on roads that are getting busier, land is getting scarcer to ride on, one woman i spoke to moved from a local yard for better safer hacking. I like being with him, he's sweet on the ground and that but i won't be fulfilling any goals that i have with hi., I know i can't afford my own at the mo that will come one day, and i don't mind this but would like the chance to ride and enjoy it again.
Should i give him up and ride other peoples horses?

Also if i did how would it work out? Would it be a share of just pay/be paid for the rides that i take?

Any ideas would be great, i know it might all sound silly to you but i don't want to make the wrong decision or let people down!
 
I would say the grass is not always greener on the other side! You sound as if you have a good set up at present and have a horse you can ride as often as you like. If your relationship with his owner is good and they are supportive of you riding the horse, then that counts for a lot. Can you talk to the owner about the napping you are experiencing?

The other rides you are hoping to pick up may have owners that are not so keen for you to have a free hand in riding their horse as and when it suits you, and may be more demanding on your time and finances. On the other hand one of them could work out as the perfect partnership.

I would think very carefully and weigh up all the possible outcomes. I hope whatever you decide works out best for you.

I hope i have not come accross too abruptly but sharing a horse does have its pitfalls for both owner and sharer and if you are happy with your owner then as i said before please think carefully.
 
You haven't come across abrupt, i take your point on. I just don't
t really want a life of hacking, esp on roads that are getting nastier. I've tried talking about the napping but she's not sure either.
The local yard closed so i don't have any school to use so am stuck waiting til spring/summer to use field and to be honest it's got a bit dull plus i've nearly no confidence now to go out again.

I know the grass isn't always greener but feel in a rut with the current set up.
 
I agree with Daydreambeliever the grass always looks better on the other side but I would check out all the pros and cons of the dressage horses before making a decision.

How long have you been with the horse you share now as most horses will nap especially when they realise their rider is not confident. Could someone ride out with you on a bike?

Good luck!
 
I've been with him since September and have someone that comes on foot.
I think i could persevere got back to ground work and basics, build trust, make sure i'm boss etc but i'll still be stuck with unsafe hacking and no variety to my riding.
 
is there anyway you could do both? keep your sharing arrangement and maybe do a bit more with someone else's horse? even if its just a lesson a week or one schooling session? you might be in a better position to make a judgement then?
 
Ok call me stupid but i didn't think of that, would give me time to think of nice way to speak to his owner if i need to. At least then i can see what i'd be getting on one hand and if i will get anywhere on the other, i've paid for this month anyway so may as well have a go with him.
 
I have three I ride for free and one I get paid to ride. I wouldnt do the work on a napper and pay for it! And no, im no fantastic rider. Find something that needs the exercise that isnt a pain in the a**!
 
it might give you the chance to build a relationship with another horse and owner without giving up your existing share or it might make you want to stick with what you have and further your dressage ambitions by having a weekly lesson on something else?
 
At least i'd have chance to see what colour the grass is on the other side!
I think i'll do that if the chance does come up, i know problems happen with horses and i'm not one to avoid them but i'm getting no joy from riding current horse, only from being around him on the ground.
 
You say you might be able to ride the dressage horses. What level are they working at and what level are you able to ride to? I wouldn't want anyone to ride my dressage horses who couldn't ride to at least the same level as me.

If you can ride one of these horses why not give it a trial period whilst still keeping your loan horse. I would question why your loan horse was fine to ride until recently. Has something changed in the way he is managed or the way you ride him?
 
No worries there, they are not dressage horses that work at a high level more ones that people ride dressage for enjoyment. I just want the chance to get back to doing flat work and working my own brain too.
 
Hi,

I was in a similar situation last year;
Had a lovely genuine pony on loan who was a sweetie to hack, owned by a lady who was always stright with me and kept me riding when I'd otherwise have had to give up. I really enjoy schooling but not ponies thing and only had (a fairly steep) unlit field to school in so ended up just hacking. I stuck with her for a long time as was worried that I might not find a deal as good (both pony and owner were exactly what they claimed to be).
When work got busier the DIY system got very difficult (no fun driving 50 miles to muck out at midnight then drive back 50 miles to a work placement). The first time I had to ring her owner at 7pm and say I wouldn't be able to get there I had to think hard as 1) it wasn't fair to horse or owner to be unreliable and 2)I wasn't actually doing what I wanted to.

After fretting about how I was going to tell her owner, it was fine, tears shed, pony groomed to within an inch of her life and thankyous on both sides.

I've now got an older boy on loan on working livery - works really well, if works bad I know he's cared for, if works good I get to ride every evening in an indoor school or hack around the fields when its dry.

Everybodies different but if its not working don't be frightened to look around :-)
 
ew0855 said:
Hi,

I was in a similar situation last year;
Had a lovely genuine pony on loan who was a sweetie to hack, owned by a lady who was always stright with me and kept me riding when I'd otherwise have had to give up. I really enjoy schooling but not ponies thing and only had (a fairly steep) unlit field to school in so ended up just hacking. I stuck with her for a long time as was worried that I might not find a deal as good (both pony and owner were exactly what they claimed to be).
When work got busier the DIY system got very difficult (no fun driving 50 miles to muck out at midnight then drive back 50 miles to a work placement). The first time I had to ring her owner at 7pm and say I wouldn't be able to get there I had to think hard as 1) it wasn't fair to horse or owner to be unreliable and 2)I wasn't actually doing what I wanted to.

After fretting about how I was going to tell her owner, it was fine, tears shed, pony groomed to within an inch of her life and thankyous on both sides.

I've now got an older boy on loan on working livery - works really well, if works bad I know he's cared for, if works good I get to ride every evening in an indoor school or hack around the fields when its dry.

Everybodies different but if its not working don't be frightened to look around :-)
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I agree and it is better to be honest in the end, the woman that owns the land he's kept on is a friend from 20 yrs ago that i hadn't seen for many years i just hope it wouldn't ruin anything like that.
Will look around see what is exactly on offer, try things and then make a decision then i can't kick myself for being too hasty.
 
I would explore what the possibilities are with the other horses, whether it would cost you, how much you could ride etc and then weigh it up against what you have or doing both.
 
imr said:
I would explore what the possibilities are with the other horses, whether it would cost you, how much you could ride etc and then weigh it up against what you have or doing both.
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That's my plan now...also gives me a bit of time to build up confidence with first horse again and see what happens. Then have a good think about it all
 
ew0855 said:
PS take lots of photos! I've only got one really good one of the girl who was in effect my first horse.
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Good idea, i think that's what's so upsetting - on the ground and that he's lovely, i just can't get this out of him, not while i'm not confident. Have pics already but will take more, it's a part of your life after all.
 
sarah-h a nappy horse will always be that unless a confident rider.(and nappy horses will always revert) you say you work at another yard. just be careful if you ride a horse at the yard you work at for several reasons. you may well be taking income away fron the yard.(ie if they charge for exercise/lunging/walker) are you insured adequetly if taking payment/non payment for this? are you prepared to lose your job over having the use of a livery horse? and no a nappy horse who you are contributing financially towards is not ideal. neither is a horse at your job.(unless you talk to your boss first and discuss in full)
 
ofcourseyoucan said:
sarah-h a nappy horse will always be that unless a confident rider.(and nappy horses will always revert) you say you work at another yard. just be careful if you ride a horse at the yard you work at for several reasons. you may well be taking income away fron the yard.(ie if they charge for exercise/lunging/walker) are you insured adequetly if taking payment/non payment for this? are you prepared to lose your job over having the use of a livery horse? and no a nappy horse who you are contributing financially towards is not ideal. neither is a horse at your job.(unless you talk to your boss first and discuss in full)
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I wouldn't dream of riding anyone else's horse without speaking to my boss first and i am covered to ride other people's hrrses with my insurance. My job would come first, i can always eventually find riding outside of the yard in my own time if need be.
 
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