Mini *rant* - am I being mean?

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SouthWestWhippet

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did my part time Thurs pm at the yard yesterday and had a totally ridiculous falling out with the full time girl (FTG) - I can't see what I did wrong and I feel kinda upset. FTG hates teaching and isn't very experienced. Since she arrived I've always tried to take the more advanced lessons and difficult horses when I'm teaching because she finds it difficult. This works for both of us.

FTG was working out horses for Sat lessons... she worked out her lessons first using all the 'easy to teach with horses' then started going through my lessons. She was complaining that it was hard so I went to help cos she doesn't know my clients. Well basically, all the 'easy' ponies were up to their full hours and I had nothing left but the really sharp ones which was a problem in my 'under 10s cantering' lesson. I suggested swapping so she had a sharper pony in her lead rein lesson when someone could lead it but she said 'no'.

then I suggested another change and she said 'well, I'm not teaching with that in my lesson'. so I came up with something else and she went 'no that is even worse. do that and I won't teach that lesson'. So I suggested that we swap lessons and she could have a more advanced lesson so I could teach one of hers but with more tricky ponies. At which point she said 'I'd rather just teach with the ponies I orriginally wrote down for myself'.

Was getting a bit frustrated at this point cos we are both in the same boat with limited ponies and a busy day so I said Come on, you can't just take all the easy ponies for yourself and leave me with all the hard ones all day' at which point she stormed out of the tack room and refused to speak to me for the rest of the day.

I feel really hurt because I've always tried to make her life easy on the yards, she is leaving after this weekend anyway and she must be able to see that I can't have ponies that are sharp in an under 10s cantering and jumping group. For all my other lessons I took the sharp ponies, it was only the one lesson I wanted quiet ones and she has two leadrein lessons where she'll have helpers... I dunno, am I being unreasonable or bossy? It really upset me cos I thought we were good friends but she was talking about me with another girl that evening etc and it made me feel really bad.
 
oh, don't be upset! been there done all that - actually I think I've been both people in that conversation at different times LOL - it's probably so nothing to do with you. Hormones, or money or just stress. You weren't being unreasonable at all - but she obviously thinks you were and you won't change her mind, I shouldn't think.
If she's leaving next week, I would try to put it right behind you, and tell your under tens that this week, they will not be cantering, but will be working very hard in true Jill's Gymkhana fashion, at walking perfect 20m circles on *very* difficult ponies. Normal service will be resumed next week, but hey, even Ellen Whitaker has walking 20m circle days (that's probably not true, but if it helps, my 8yo believes it every time!)
Have a nice cup of tea and a chocolate hobnob, and lets hope she gets over it by Saturday, when you can teach on the moral high ground
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DO your under 10's know they were going to be jumping this week?
DId there parents know? If they did i cant imagine at them being too impressed at being told they were be going to be walking/trotting 20m circles.
 
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Sorry but this is one for the YO - you need to tell her what is going on as the clients safety is in jeopardy!

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Ditto.
 
Taking bits from all of this and a post below and with my somewhat flippant head on.

I suggest you take the sharpies in the canter lesson, get the kids to walk 20m circles and learn walk to canter transitions on a circle, when in canter coming off the circle and popping a small double down one long side with no stirrups, having first gone through any useful suggestions on the "how to fall" post!

If that hasn't given you at least a slight smile imagine the other girl doing it bareback on one of the smallest, sharpest ponies too!

Seriously I think you need to speak to YO - if the other girl's leaving next week it doesn't really matter if she's upset but it WILL matter if all the 10 yo's and their parents are upset. Get YO to sort it out!
 
Sadly the YO does not get involved in stuff like this. His advice (if he bothered to give it) would be to either
> just use the ponies regardless of how many hours they had done or
> put the under 10s on the lead rein for the week.

However, if I use the ponies more than their hours (something which IMO is not ideal but not the end of the world as most of them only work 4 days out of the week) FTG will accuse me of being cruel and I hate putting people 'back on the lead' cos it demotivates them. I'm liking the 'Jill' references tho. Noble art of Equitation might become my word of the day LOL.
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IF FTG acuses you of being cruel using the ponies just snap back "Well you know what to do about it - put some of the sharpies in your lessons where the riders can cope with them!" and walk off.
 
You are not being mean ,but looking at client safety. Sharp ponies with kids that are not that confident is a recipe for disaster. She is probably being unreasonable as she is leaving.

I would speak to YO again and say politely you feel that using the sharp ponies in your lesson may result in an injury or accident and the YO really would not want to fill in all the paperwork. That may scare him to come round to your thinking?
 
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Sadly the YO does not get involved in stuff like this. His advice (if he bothered to give it) would be to either
> just use the ponies regardless of how many hours they had done or
> put the under 10s on the lead rein for the week.


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Well just remember, in this letigous (sp) world we live in - you are the one most likely to get sued if it all goes pear shaped then.

Is this a BHS run establishment??

Tell your YO to pull his finger out of his *rse and take some responsibility!
 
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Tell your YO to pull his finger out of his *rse and take some responsibility!

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Then, taking your P45 in your right hand, and your boots in your left, throw a red spotted handkerchief with all your possessions in it, over your shoulder, and head for London where the streets are paved with gold .......
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i don't think you are being mean, i think your reasoning is sound and responsible. She may well have her own reasons for taking such a stance but IMHO they count for sh!t when the safety of children are in jeapordy.

What's she going to say to the parents of a child when it falls off a sharp pony in your lesson? "tough, i was having a bad day and your childs safety was not my priority cause i was hormonal/ tired"????

i personally think that she is being selfish and doesn't care about upseting people because as you said she is leaving so why would she try to accomodate someone elses needs. She just wants an easy ride ('scuse the pun) for her last lessons.

All i can say is she will be gone soon, good riddance, and poor sods who have employed her. She will never get far in her career if she benaves that way and has so many hang ups with horses. Lets just hope the new FTG will be better.

Chin up chicken
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[ QUOTE ]
Then, taking your P45 in your right hand, and your boots in your left, throw a red spotted handkerchief with all your possessions in it, over your shoulder, and head for London where the streets are paved with gold .......

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Gold you say?????

[southwestwhippet takes last £2 out of saving account to run and buy spotted handkerchief]

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