MONDAY MORNING RANT - CONFIDENCE NOW V LOW- BUT NOT DUE TO A HORSE!

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Walder

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Sorry in advance for the rant and also for the long story!
Been hacking Dealer to the muck heap and back on his own (he and i not too confident) and he is doing very nicely now! So this morning decided to go the road way first and do the whole loop (aprox 10 mins) as Dealer finds the pond and big bush scary so thought it would be nicer to have that on the way home. So set off - been warned about legging on and pulling on his mouth at the same time so was very concious of not pulling with my hands in nervousness. But had him on the bit and my leg on - got to the road when he said 'No way' started his usual going backwards ect. Tried for a while then rang YO to ask for one of the grooms to come down and help as i didnt want the 'battle' lost.
So YO and her other half come down. She gets on he does the same with her but as she is a fab rider she gets him going up the road and back. Her OH whilst she is gone proceeded to completly slate me:
Why did i start battles with pony when it was unneccesary?
Why do i want to hack alone as he considers it to be dangerous?
Why did i choose a monday morning?
Why do i do things without any pl;anning or thought?
Nowonder he wouldnt go forward as aparently i had his chin on his chest going out!
And so it went on and on and on!!!
YO came back and told me pony is genuinly scared and not taking the p**s and that she doesnt advise dominating him and that he was not confident so just ot carry on with going to muck heap and back for now until he gains more confidence in me and visa versa - lovely construtive advice from her -unlike him!
Now feel like cr*p and totaly useless - What a C*ck he is!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Yo's other half not my lovley pony!)

Thanks for getting this far
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I hate to say it...but does OH have a point (buried under all his rudeness
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?
After all, I'd be pretty fed up if someone called me to come and get their horse out of a problem they'd got themselves in.
And what would you do if YO (and icky OH) had not been there to help you out?
On a different note, have you tried long reining him past scary things to get him used to them (and you can drive him from behind without worrying about falling over)?
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just ignore the bloke, and listen to wat your YO said, she blatently knows best as she rode your pony.
tbh its no business of his wen u ride
sounds like good advise to continue hacking the same route till ur pony is more confident, and so r u
i would perhpas try to hack out with a more confident horse wen u do try to go abit firther, to help with conidence more. good luck!! and ignore the bloke - sounds like a tit to me!!
 
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I hate to say it...but does OH have a point

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Gotta agree I'm afraid.

This horse does not sound much fun - sell it.
 
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I hate to say it...but does OH have a point

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Gotta agree I'm afraid.

This horse does not sound much fun - sell it.

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Agree. Nervous horses need confident riders...and nervous riders need confident horses...
Can you send him away for schooling/sell him or get lessons on something which makes you feel safer?
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why dont you walk him out in hand for a few weeks to get his confidence up then when you are ready and he thinks its no big deal ask someone to walk on foot with you !! build it up slowly x
 
I agree and my first thought when I read the post was why did you go into a situation you couldnt handle?

I know horses are unpredictable but if you knew he was scared of that part then why go when you are alone for one, or dont even have someone following on the ground. Its ok going it alone if you have the confidence to get the horse through it, but if you dont then it does the horse no favours benig put in that situation.
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Is it your pony? If so how f***ing dare he slate you like that? You asked for help to get him out with out having a battle and scaring the pony, not for him to give you a mouthful about how to and not to ride your pony. IMO you have to find out which buttons to press with a youngster on your own, and it does take time. It has taken my 6 years with my boy and i still find out new things even to this day.

Try not to take it to heart about what YO's other half said!!
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I hate to say it...but does OH have a point

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Gotta agree I'm afraid.

This horse does not sound much fun - sell it.

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ummmm, how dare u tell someone to sell their pony, after reading one post about it lacking confidence out hacking????
very harsh comment, and totally unjustified
 
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I hate to say it...but does OH have a point

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Gotta agree I'm afraid.

This horse does not sound much fun - sell it.

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Baaa!

Sorry! My impression of your post too.
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What is this pony so afraid of has been mistreated before you got him! My horse is v mard at the best of time but once we either stop to look at what he is scared of or we take a wide berth round or even me talking to him helps it. He is not taking the mickey and is genuinlely scared! Yet a bloody big grtter drives past flashing lights and everything and he doesnt even batt an eyelid. Id try walking him out in hand before riding him further always not a good idea to ride alone at this time of year anyway. Wasnt it about a week ago that you got him to the huckheap? trying to much to soon. If you really want to keep this pony then you need to sit down with a good plan to get him over this if you think it is even going to work. If not sell it and get a nice safe ploddy type!
 
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I hate to say it...but does OH have a point

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Gotta agree I'm afraid.

This horse does not sound much fun - sell it.

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ummmm, how dare u tell someone to sell their pony, after reading one post about it lacking confidence out hacking????
very harsh comment, and totally unjustified

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I don't think, in fact I'm quite sure, that Amymay intended to be nothing more than helpful with her advice. I don't necessarily agree that the OP should sell, but I can't understand why she would attempt take her horse out in the scenario that she described
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I admire you for keeping going and wanting to beat this on your own but could you ask someone to come with you?
I'm a slightly nervous rider so can sympathise but if you're nervous and so is he it might be best to try the scary things with another person / another horse?
I'd just be a bit worried of him pratting about on you near a road.
 
We all make mistakes, don't feel too bad about it. Something about equestrian world can bring out the bossy sergeant major streak in some people.

But you do need to think carefully before taking this horse out into a situation you can't deal with successfully. Why not get an instructor to help you out? Lessons are expensive but a fantastic investment for both of your futures.
 
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ummmm, how dare u tell someone to sell their pony, after reading one post about it lacking confidence out hacking????

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Ummm, I've read several posts about the OP and this little horse - as have many of us.

Nervous horses and nervous riders do not make good bedfellows I'm afraid.

Take a little more time before replying - and get your facts right
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i dont think that writing one line of "this pony doesnt sound like fun - sell it" is particulary helpfull if u ask me.
OP was looking fo helpful advice on a difficult situation with a youngster as well as dealing with harsh comments by her YOs OH. advising her to sell her pony after reading only one post about it lacking confidence out hacking is not really a constuctive reply if u ask me, not too mention a bloody awful thing to say!! OP clearly adores her pony and wants to handle the situation the right way.
if u aint got something half decent to say, dont say it!!
 
OMG sorry - seem to have caused a bit of controversy!
Feel even more crap and useless now!
For a bit of background - He is not young just not been out much on his own before i got him - having weekly lessons - have done the walking to muck heap with someone on foot ect - maybe a bit hastly this morning but once started didntwant to let him 'win'
Just to say as well - it was only 1 minutes walk away from the yard to where i was having trouble - also i dont think he could be peaved about coming to help me as i do all the social events for thier yard also my husband helps them when they get into difficulties with their IT i also steward at all thier shows.
Any way i take on board what every one has said - thanks for all advise x
 
It really wasn't my intention to make you feel worse at all - so apologies if I did.

It is just such an expensive hobby (not to mention potentially dangerous one), that why make life hard?

It seems to me as if the two of you are not matched, and a horse with more experience of life would be better suited to you. As would a more experienced home for him.

Do you have a good instructor you could talk to about this - someone who will give you a real and unclouded assessment of your situation??????
 
As Amymay has said, it's not based on one post, but a string of them. A nervous horse and nervous rider ought not to be going out on the road alone - its a receipe for disaster! The OP has not had this horse long, and has difficulties already, she needs to stop and consider what she is trying to do with him and whether it is wise.

No one is doubting that the OP loves her horse and wants the best for him, but sometimes you've got to be cruel to be kind - this scenario is dangerous and foolish, as the people who witnessed it clearly felt too. It needs to be said what she attempted this morning is not an advisable thing to do.

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if u aint got something half decent to say, dont say it!!

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And if you can't use correct English....
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advising her to sell her pony after reading only one post about it lacking confidence out hacking is not really a constuctive reply if u ask me, not too mention a bloody awful thing to say!!

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Sorry, but did you actually READ what Amymay wrote??
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Here you go:
<font color="blue"> Ummm, I've read several posts about the OP and this little horse - as have many of us.
</font>

There have been a few posts about problems with this pony, and advice has been given several times, but sometimes, it gets to the point where you have to admit that the horse isn't the right one for you.

Tbh, I thought the OP was quite irresponsible doing what she did, then expecting someone to come and bail her out when she couldn't cope. I would have been annoyed with her too...
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I hate to say it...but does OH have a point

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Gotta agree I'm afraid.

This horse does not sound much fun - sell it.

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this sounds like a major accident just waiting to happen....


OP.....take care, and please think of other road users the next time you venture out on your horse.
 
OK OK!!!! everyone - i get the message!!!!
no more repies please - am now in tears - will seriously think about selling and getting a bike!!!!
 
[ QUOTE ]
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advising her to sell her pony after reading only one post about it lacking confidence out hacking is not really a constuctive reply if u ask me, not too mention a bloody awful thing to say!!

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Sorry, but did you actually READ what Amymay wrote??
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Here you go:
<font color="blue"> Ummm, I've read several posts about the OP and this little horse - as have many of us.
</font>

There have been a few posts about problems with this pony, and advice has been given several times, but sometimes, it gets to the point where you have to admit that the horse isn't the right one for you.

Tbh, I thought the OP was quite irresponsible doing what she did, then expecting someone to come and bail her out when she couldn't cope. I would have been annoyed with her too...
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sorry, i think we both wrote those posts at the same time, so no, i hadnt read what amy may wrote when i wrote my post... so apologies for not knowing that.
My point was, that i felt amymay's post was not particulary considerate to someone that was obvioulsy upset and looking for a few kind words.
i still think a reponse like that was not a particulary nice thing to say... although i do belive the issue needs to be adressed.
 
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OK OK!!!! everyone - i get the message!!!!
no more repies please - am now in tears - will seriously think about selling and getting a bike!!!!

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selling and getting a nice steady happy hacker would be more beneficial than a bike....

one last question..from me anyhow..have you got someone who'd come out regularly on foot with you for the forseeable future?

if you were nearer, i'd offer........
 
Ok, so we all make mistakes. I've had to have someone help me out before now and I've been happy to do it for other people. Maybe Walder shouldn't have done what she did but given they've been managing fine getting to the muck heap and back I can see why she wanted to push her boundaries a bit further. Ok, so it went wrong and its a lesson learned. I'm sure she will go back to her instructor and work out a sensible plan to move forward.
 
Walder, you and Dealer are progressing really well, you will eventually have a horse that will happily hack out on his own. Speaking as someone in the same situation you have been doing all the right things, just take things slowing until your horse is more confident, also groundwork might help him gain trust in you more quickly, your lessons should help as well. Remember the perfect horse doesn't actually exist
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Well done for not giving up. You sound like you know it was ambitious to take him round the block, but you did the right thing when he was acting up. Would the YO be willing to take him out a couple of times? She obviously gets on ok with him. Maybe you could go on foot and seeing him do it with someone else might help your confidence too. Is there another short route you can start doing other than the muckheap? Even just down to a certain tree and back, walking 10ft and coming back? As long as you are turning when you want to then 5 steps is an achievment.
 
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