!!morags ahoy!!!

Indeedy you have... go and search for them... poor man.

I'm sure you're utterly delightful - and be safe in the knowledge that you can't be any more of a ****** in front of him that I am in front of the farrier!
 
thanks for that fab advice - am now off to bed knowing my life has been sorted thanks to your amazing advice! lol

ps. i did get drunk and tell him if he did my grouting I would pay him kind. Thats the only thing I have ever said to him face to face. :rolleyes:

maybe a starzaan boot camp would help
 
CalllyH said:
maybe a starzaan boot camp would help
Click to expand...

That is the most genius thing I have ever heard, we could all go and learn her mysterious ways ...

... the art of the wafting morag ...
... how to execute the perfect casual guffaw ...
... and THE WELLY/IMPERIAL OR POSSIBLY METRIC SPANNER DANCE!
 
Dear Starzaan

While I await for your yard to be built, I must ask you these questions.

1. Why am I hungry?

2. WHY am I still so utterly unable to drive?!

3. Am I the only man-less teenager this side of the thames?!

Yours non-madlesbiany,

TG x

P.S. Youre from SA! I know many of your kinsfolk :P
 
dibbin said:
That is the most genius thing I have ever heard, we could all go and learn her mysterious ways ...

... the art of the wafting morag ...
... how to execute the perfect casual guffaw ...
... and THE WELLY/IMPERIAL OR POSSIBLY METRIC SPANNER DANCE!
Click to expand...

plus how not to do a dance infront of the guy you like thinking you look sexy then for him to say jeez is that you trying to dance or what and then giving another girl his phone number.

we will then all be alluring sexy horsey types who will be as good in bed as we are in the saddle. (again ahem)
 
Starzaan said:
I am still rather worried about the fact that Mr Fit spent a lot of time with the French sex goddess today. I hope she didn't come over all French and snog him til he squeaked.
Click to expand...

Don't worry about her, if she DID come over all French it would, admittedly, be with a sexy accent but a garlic scented snail and maggoty-cheese eating French accent. And im sure i read somewhere that the French wash less often than the rest of Europe. And her teeth will be stained from years of drinking red wine with every meal. So i don't think he'll be swooning over his anvil at her.

Anyhoo, you have HotMechanic now anyway, someone who isnt immune to the charms of your barely-contained-by-turqoise-lace morags and who clearly appreciates the value of someone who could, in the event of being stranded in a deserted lemon grove, make the whole situation more cosy by creating candles out of melted lemon wax!

ETA apologies to the French for dreadful stereotyping/slurs which were done only to make Starzaan feel better
 
dibbin said:
ROFL ... (TG, cover your innocent ears!) ... my OH is very appreciative of the independent seat ...
Click to expand...
:eek::o:eek::o:eek::o:eek::o:eek::o:eek:
:p



Mogg said:
Don't worry about her, if she DID come over all French it would, admittedly, be with a sexy accent but a garlic scented snail and maggoty-cheese eating French accent. And im sure i read somewhere that the French wash less often than the rest of Europe. And her teeth will be stained from years of drinking red wine with every meal. So i don't think he'll be swooning over his anvil at her.

Anyhoo, you have HotMechanic now anyway, someone who isnt immune to the charms of your barely-contained-by-turqoise-lace morags and who clearly appreciates the value of someone who could, in the event of being stranded in a deserted lemon grove, make the whole situation more cosy by creating candles out of melted lemon wax!

ETA apologies to the French for dreadful stereotyping/slurs which were done only to make Starzaan feel better
Click to expand...

LOL! :D
 
Quick question.....

Why have you all got Fit Farriers and Mechanics and Muddy Men? Where are they all around here to waft at in Somerset???

I believe this is a rather unfair situation that must be resolved.
 
tallyho! said:
Quick question.....

Why have you all got Fit Farriers and Mechanics and Muddy Men? Where are they all around here to waft at in Somerset???

I believe this is a rather unfair situation that must be resolved.
Click to expand...

Probably because they've heard about my turquoise lace clad wafting morags and the welly dance...


They flock to me you know. Moths to a morag wafting, lemon scented flame....
 
Starzaan said:
Dear Clipcloppop,

I will only be your friend if you promise not to be all thin and beautiful and waft about in front of the farrier.

I am sure you are not at all madlesbiany, as when thinking of buying your lorry I noticed that you know some Ingrams. I know Ingrams. I used to stand on the side of the bath wearing a ginger wig with an Ingram, giving a performace of The Backstreet Boys' greatest hits.

So I think you must be as mad as me.

I love you too, my squishy little friend,

Yours and all that *******s,

Starzaan
Click to expand...

do you actually know THE ingrams?

:D
 
Starzaan said:
Probably because they've heard about my turquoise lace clad wafting morags and the welly dance...


They flock to me you know. Moths to a morag wafting, lemon scented flame....
Click to expand...

*dashes off to john lewis to find lace and lemon wax*
 
clipcloppop said:
do you actually know THE ingrams?

:D
Click to expand...

I actually know THE Ingrams... my mother is best pallies with mummy Ingram, and so baby Ingram (who of course is not a baby and is about a zillion feet tall!) and I have known each other all our lives... daddy Ingram used to make me hot chocolate. So clearly, we are in fact destined to be bestest mad pals Clippy!!!


And EchoBravo, I am NOT concussed. I'm DELIGHTFUL.
 
tallyho! said:
Quick question.....

Why have you all got Fit Farriers and Mechanics and Muddy Men? Where are they all around here to waft at in Somerset???

I believe this is a rather unfair situation that must be resolved.
Click to expand...

you can have him... he's not all that much fun when he's wet and muddy and smells bad - and neither is the washing machine in a fit state to wash anything *note to self, ask Starzaan for a lemon scented candle*

and a slight correction... he's not all that military, he's only a part time soldier, and BMF is an outdoor fitness class thingymagic and today (or rather yesterday) he was only taking part and not shouting at people whilst wearing army kit.

I tell him I go to BMF purely for the exercise and weightloss benefits, but obviously its mainly to get a goggle at the instructors :D and the weightloss,/fitness is a nice side effect!:cool:
 
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Hey, he's topless ... if he was a girl his morags would be wafting uncontrollably!

Is this the famous South African welly dance, Starzaan?
 
After reading some of the posts, I'm losing the will to live. your morags are fine, the hill runner just get a pair of Maddona's conical bras that should sort you out, you might impale someone but that's their look out. The larger ones rejoice get yourself a couple of slings or those pushy up things that also pull in your tum, begins with a Basque I think not sure, as I'm to old to bother anymore, nice pair of jods and a very loose top and I'm a happy bunny(or did we eat that last week)??:D:D:D:D:D:D
 
Update on the mechanic situation:

Mechanic found out that I used to have an eating disorder, and went all lovely and squishy and sweet and said that I'm perfect exactly how I am, and pretty much resembled Noah (if you don't know what I'm talking about, SHAME ON YOU. Everyone needs to know who Noah is).

He's very very lovely...

but even a certain H&H member (who we have to thank for her interrogation of FF) could see that the air between us doesn't go POP BANG WHIZZ POW as it does with FF, and is more of a FUFF type thing.







Bugger.
 
Starzaan said:
Update on the mechanic situation:

Mechanic found out that I used to have an eating disorder, and went all lovely and squishy and sweet and said that I'm perfect exactly how I am, and pretty much resembled Noah (if you don't know what I'm talking about, SHAME ON YOU. Everyone needs to know who Noah is).

He's very very lovely...

but even a certain H&H member (who we have to thank for her interrogation of FF) could see that the air between us doesn't go POP BANG WHIZZ POW as it does with FF, and is more of a FUFF type thing.







Bugger.
Click to expand...

But a fire that smoulders is one that lasts. One that burns too brightly will soon run out of fuel.

LIR words of wisdom for today.
 
Well I bloody well hope so!

FF sent me a text today, probably assuming I was dead as I haven't spoken to him in a week (SHOCK!).... and I still got all ridiculous and jumpy up and downy.

Pooooooooooooo
 
Oh no! As you know I'm in the mechanic camp - being married to mine! Stick to the nice mechanic! The air didn't buzz enough to judder FF into asking you out!

What did FF say - was it a general message, or was it a "missing you" kind of message?

PS. Sorry don't know who Noah is!:o
 
i am new to all this forum stuff but ive followed your saga for a while. being an erm more mature lady but not old enough to have forgotten how to enthrall men i think i know how to snag your man. Just tell him you dont fancy him. it works every time. or is it just that i only got fancied by the ones i didnt fancy... oh i dont know ive forgotten anyways, :-)
 
Honey08 said:
PS. Sorry don't know who Noah is!:o
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GET OUT!! I am SHOCKED in the extreme. GO and watch The Notebook, and come back when you're an acceptable human being.

Not knowing who Noah is indeed. GAH.


FarrierLover.... I completely missed your post my squishy little darling. I am sure you're not so terribly fat, but if you are, ask you friendly local diesel thief if he'll use his hose (calm down calm down, not THAT hose) to syphen (sp?!) off some of your blubber. He can use it to make soap a la Fight Club....or did they make bombs...

Then just give your farrier corn oil. 13g of saturated fat per 100ml you know!!!1



ALSO,
torn between two sexy pairs of arms. Oh the frustration.
 
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