moral dilemma: say sorry or be brazen

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bluemoon123

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First of all, I'm totally mortified about this but need your help. To explain: me and ponio have been in new livery yard for about 3.5 weeks now. Other than this yard, there are no other options - it's more than a 45 min drive for me one way but it's the best of a
very bad lot. I haven't been delighted with the quality and amount of hay that ponio has been getting so for the last week, I've been topping him up with good quality hay (there's a good and bad bale in the barn) - I never get to see the yard owner so was intending to tackle him about it this week when I'm paying my bill. But the problem arises from a case of mistaken bale ownership identity:

I'd be the first to admit that I'm not the sharpest but it just occurred to me that half the yard is rented out to what i think is a semi-pro eventer. Now in my defense, no-one told me this before and i only figured it out tonite.

But I've been feeding my ponio with the semi-pro's hay and not the livery yards'. The prob is that the semi-pro came back from an event last nite when I had just fed my ponio and although i was leaving when she came in, she had to see what my ponio got (i.e. her hay)!!!

I'm totally mortified but what do I do? Say sorry to the semi-pro and offer to buy a bale as an apology? But if I do, what I did will fly around the yard and it won't be good for me or ponio in terms of fitting in in the medium-term. Or should I stay quiet and say nothing, in the hope that she didn't see and/or she won't make a deal of it? Also the semi-pro's husband/boyf/business partner has a filthy and very scary temper....

What should i do people? What would you do? I can't believe i was so stupid...
 
Own up and apologise and tell her the truth- you didnt realise until the penny dropped yesterday. Offer to buy her replacement hay and get some for yourself at the same time- tell YO to knock hay price off the bill bcause the provided stuff isnt good enough!
 
I most definitely would own up. Mistakes happen. If you are really worried, leave a polite note with your offer of buying replacement hay.

Regarding your dilemma of feeding poor quality hay, why don't you ask whether you can buy some of the higher quality and store it separately?
 
I'd apologise and offer to buy a bale - mistakes happen, I'm sure she'll be fine :)

If you ignore it though it will get out and tarnish your reputation. At the moment you can claim lack of knowledge, if you leave it you could be labelled a thief :(

You'll be fine x
 
Definitely 'own-up'! After all it wasn't as if you did it deliberately and can't see how you being honest would create bitchiness on the yard.....
 
Personally, I'd do the right thing, apologise to her before she has to confront you about it and offer to replace the hay. Explain you haven't been there very long and it was a genuine mistake. Far better to do that then suffer her partner's temper cause you didnt own up!
 
Sidney said:
Definitely 'own-up'! After all it wasn't as if you did it deliberately and can't see how you being honest would create bitchiness on the yard.....
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Agree with Sidney here. I think it would be more likely to stand you in good stead if people think your honest. Offer to buy a replacement and ask where she buys it from so you hopefully get the same quality for your horse
 
I agree with all above.

Own up - if you do it is a genuine mistake by a newbie and not an issue. The message that will go round the yard if that you are honest and trustworthy.

If you try an brazen it out that is when you will get issues.

Can you ask the Semi-pro where they got there hay from when you replace it?? Maybe buy extra and use yourself?
 
Thanks everyone. I can't believe I was so stupid - the one thing I wanted to avoid was any yard tittle tattle and I've landed myself right in it!!! I'll go down tomorrow night - probably won't see her because i'm on a different schedule. I'll leave a note with compensation for what I used; and hope that she accepts it without too much gossiping. I don't even know her name but might leave it on her lorry - I'll figure something out. Sepately I'll tackle the yard owner and ask to move my ponio to haylage as that fodder quality seems a bit better. Thanks again.
 
I echo everyone else's comments - just tell her about it, it was a genuine mistake, and it's much better to be upfront and honest about it. Good luck :)
 
Own up definitely. In the first few weeks on a new yard these sort of mistakes can happy very easily. If you are suitably apologetic and offer to pay for the hay that has been used or to replace it then i can't see they can be too cross in that you are new.
 
Yes come clean be 100% with the eventer and I would say to the yard owner if the hay isnt up to standard its no good if your horse ends up with COPD or other issues, your the customer after all.. good luck ...
 
Well I can't see how this can be a dilemma. To me the answer is obvious; own up, explain that you made a mistake and have now realised that that is her hay. Offer to pay for it - you will need to ask her 'how much?'. If you had used my hay that is certainly what I would expect you to do. I can't see why this would lead to gossip. However, if she has realised that her hay has been disappearing because you have been using it, that IMHO WOULD lead to gossip
As for the poor quality hay provided by YO, you need to address this issue asap before your horse suffers the ill-effects.
 
As everyone else - own up, apologise, offer to pay/replace. It will stand you in good stead in the long term.
 
You've got to own up - find the eventer person and speak to them saying it was a genuine mistake and definitely offer to pay for a replacement bale. Surely its better to have a reputation for being a stand-up honest person than one who will use other people's stuff without saying so, and without replacing it? Next time someone thinks their stuff has been used /taken, you put yourself right up the top of the list of potential scape goats. Sod what anyone else says on the yard, you have to live with your own conscience and I just don't think you'll feel comfy until you come clean, and you don't want to be avoiding the eventer from now on. Better you go and find them rather than they come to confront you!

As for the old hay, speak to the YO about it - hasn't anyone else said it is poor quality?
 
It was a mistake, you didnt know the good bale was not for the yard. And really, the eventer wifey maybe should have made it clear that was her bale (Like a sign etc).

Just apologies and pay for a bale. You may find that she agrees with you about the quality of the bale that is supplied with your livery and you may be able to go in with her to purchase good hay if once you speak to the YO they can't/won't change the hay.
 
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