Morbid Question - PTS (cancer) Advice (companion)

RainbowDash

RainbowDash

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Hi all,

I don't often venture onto the dogs area but I have a question. I hope you can offer an answer/advice? It is hard post to write so please bear with me and dodgy grammer :).

My 8 (nearly 9) yo Labrador bitch has aggressive cancer, we've decided another operation is out of the question and will be letting nature run it's course and medicate to keep her comfortable for now.

She has been our old fellas companion for 8 years, he will be lost without her (he's 10) he pines for her when she leaves the house for a visit to the vets, a solo walk, etc. We want him to have closure and understand whats happened to his best friend.

We plan to have our wee lady PTS at home with us (hubby and I). The kids will be sent to Grandmas (too young). Now my question/s:

We would like the old fella present whilst our beautiful lady goes to sleep for the last time. Hopefully this will allow him to grieve? Has anyone done the same? Did the companion suffer? Go off food, become listless, Go downhill? (Old fella is poorly himself) Is this the right course to take? .

We'll have her cremated - any issues, advice, pitfalls (heard horror stories of not getting right ashes back :()? We'd keep her ashes and add them to the old fellas when it's his time and scatter them in the woods we go for walkies x

I've lost canine friends before but my hubby hasn't, I had to have the very difficult conversation with two under sevens - I was blunt, don't see any point of sugar-coating and please don't sugar-coat your advice - I need to have your honest opinion :) Sorry if the post seems very matter of a fact but I need to be sensible about this .... :{

Thank you :)
 
Im sorry to hear you are going through this and with children involved it is always more difficult. When we had our old Dobe pts we allowed our 4yr old Dobe male to see his body but he wasnt present when he was pts. He sniffed him all over and just seemed to sigh and walk away, they were best mates and went everywhere together. He was a bit quiet for a couple of days and then seemed to accept it, he never looked for him and never whined.

We buried him in the garden, Ive never had a dog cremated so cant give any advice there.
 
As dobiegirl, when I have had a dog pts I have let the others see the body, and I think it does help them. However be prepared for your other dog to be a little bit off for a few days, each dog is different but give him a bit of extra attention and he will be okay.
I have recently had dogs cremated (although always buried previously), and have not worried about getting the wrong ashes as I trust my vet (and in one case the private company doing the cremation). It is made even harder when you have young children but I agree with being honest with them, I know of children who have been told their beloved pet has "gone to live on a farm" etc, and only realised the truth when they were adult. :(
 
Like the others I always let my dogs see the body although not actually there when PTS. The last time maya just sniffed Juno then walked away but lily (the younger dog) licked and nudged Juno very gently. It was a touching moment.
I have never had a problem with pet crems. In Nottingham I used Forget me Notts who were great and I will use them again.
Good luck in your choices and remember whatever your decision it is the right one at the time
 
I would always allow my remaining dog(s) to see the body . The only time this didn't happen the remaining dog was upset for some time . My children were always allowed to see the bodies from a young age too ( if they wanted to ) as I didn't want them to see death ( of human or animal ) as something to fear , that it was just part of life , even if you were very sad .
 
I let my gsd see his 'big brother' after he passed, he didn't really seem bothered at the time but was very quiet for a few days afterwards. I probably wouldn't have him there at the time, as it might be distressing. I think we worry about it a lot more than they do to be honest. We had the big lad cremated and the ashes came back two weeks later with no problems
 
I lost my special old girl last year. I allowed her life long companion, they'd been together just the 2 of them for 12 years, to stay with Hazel when she was PTS. Poppy seemed unbothered, and sat on the sofa with my husband whilst Hazel was PTS in her bed a couple of metres away. It was strange, we were very upset but poppy didn't seem upset or worried. We'd got a another dog a few months before because I didn't want poppy to be on her own, he's not good with strange men in the house so I put him in the car whilst it was happening. He seemed more bothered, perhaps he knew something had happened. Hazel was cremated, I meant to scatter her but I can't seem to let go yet.
 
I had my 7 yrold black lab put to sleep due to aggressive cancer too. At home with our other dog in the same room. She was only 2 foot away from him. She didn't react at all. But was a little quiet the day after. We buried him in our garden.I had 3 weeks to come to terms with him being pts. We dug his grave in the morning ,a buried him in the afternoon. I decided to do it at home to save him from the stress of going to the vets. It was vey peaceful and quick. I have had several dogs in my life,all very special and much loved. but he was my one in a million dog. I decided on a new puppy before I had him pts, and new puppy arrived 2 days after. It made the grieving process easier, as 5 months later I still don't get 1 mins peace to myself due to a very lively pup. Only thing I wished I had done was shaved his leg for the injection myself that morning, as he was slightly worried by the stranger shaving his leg. But otherwise he seemed really relaxed and peaceful..
 
Thank you soo very much for your replies. I'll admit that I was a little nervous of reading the answers on the thread. You've all put my mind at rest and I know now the best course of action for us - Thank You all :D

Although I've slept on it and am feeling a bit less emotional now - this is still going to be a very hard decision for us, Our lass is the one-in-a-million for us too, a super girl who arrived in our lives at seven months old from a family who couldn't keep her anymore, we brought her with the money we'd otherwise have spent on a honeymoon, discovered she's the old lads niece, has looked after the children as they arrived in the house as babies and enjoyed a gentle play with them through their young lives and told the old guy off if his play was getting too rough :).

My eldest daughter has always been nervous around the dogs, despite being raised with them, but my youngest adores them both and initiates play at every opportunity - fortunately she's too young (nearly 5) to really understand and I'm glad as she will really miss the lass :(.

Both my dogs love their trips to the vets (there's always food and fusses :) ) and despite having needles put in, being fiddled with they still enjoy it - esp. exploring cat baskets :) - so I have no worries of her going to the vet clinic for the final time but would rather her die at home with her family. We have a small garden and are planning to move in the next few years hence the cremation - the woods where we walk is also me and my hubby's favourite place and I keep my pony at the local yard - so it has a symbolic meaning and also the rangers do a tree planting scheme as a memorial to lost loved ones xxx
 
Aww, thinking of you, its never nice.

Ditto what most have said. We let our dog sniff the one that had been PTS. At the time she was fine, but for a couple of weeks she became obsessed (and extremely talented) with dribbling a football up and down the garden, for hours on end if allowed, then after a couple of weeks she stopped and would never do it again, even if you tried to get her to. Some kind of stress relief, I guess. The other thing that I noticed was, as second dog in the pecking order, she became very nervous of meeting other dogs on walks (I guess the other dog usually did all introductions first and then she would bobble into the mix, then suddenly she had to do introductions herself). I wonder if, with him being elderly and so attached to her, it would be worth finding another elderly dog in a rescue for him to befriend for the rest of his life, obviously after you've all come to terms with it. I know the rescue I got ours from struggles to rehome dogs aged 7+, and they don't usually charge. Just a thought..
 
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