More neighbour problems :(

JillA said:
Hmmm. Isn't it interesting that no-one seems to feel HE should be apologising to ME for damaging my property???
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And maybe he will if you give him the opportunity. As others have said, he may not even be aware of the damage. I would pop round to ask what he used as you may need to keep the horses away from it. That is pretty non-confrontational and will a) make him aware there is a problem and b) give him every chance to apologise.
Our garden is sandwiched between fields and our hedges have been damaged when the fields have been sprayed but there are times when it is very difficult to avoid overspray.
 
JillA said:
So I plan to take photographs and write to him - is this technically trespass? My letter will advise him that if it happens again I will take action for xxxxx. I also don't know what I will be left with when the vegetation has died off totally - bare earth? Should I be telling him I need him to re-seed the affected part? ANy experience of similar on grassland?
Many thanks
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Steady on! It sounds like you are treating them like the previous chap when in fact they are not to blame for previous problems and have given you no indication that they are going to cause you any problems and indeed they haven't in two years - cut them some slack.

I would have a polite and quick word with them and explain how spraying on a breezy day can make the spray drift further than they intend and that if they could do you a great favour and bear that in mind next time they spray

Unless they have nuked their garden completely using brush/wasteland killer your grass will bounce back pretty quickly

As I keep telling my mum :D if you are unlucky enough to have more than one 'bad' neighbour the common theme is yourself so its worth starting there when dealing with the 'problem'
 
I definitely agree with the conciliatory approach despite my tongue in cheek post above.

My neighbour is on steroids, so I looked that up. Aggression is one of the symptoms. Also, the neighbour's wife seems a decent sort and reasonably well clued up. Maybe an oblique approach would be the best way, though a spouse or OH?

There was a similar thread on a farming forum, but in this case an ignorant new neighbour was using a crop sprayer behind a tractor and several acres of growing crops were destroyed. Roundup/Glyphosate was the chemical again.

We had a saying when I lived up in the hills. Fall out with your neighbour and you have one guess who will come around the corner on his tractor when you are stuck in the snow!

(But it's fun to think about ways of disposing of the problem, in a literal sense!).
 
OP you also say the overspray is about a foot, and unless his garden has an extremely large boundary, in the scheme of things it cant be that large an area surely? I think you are treating this neighbour as if he was your old one. Best to have a friendly word saying you are a bit worried your horses might be affected and ask if he could let you know if he is going to spray again so you can keep the horses away.
 
Not noticed?? Should have gone to Specsavers!!! His drive and front door are only about 10 feet away, he must see it every day.

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I am not going to be conciliatory - for someone who has deliberately snubbed me for two years and apparently already thinks I am the neighbour from hell, I'm not going to disabuse him. I have had three neighbours over the years (not all at that one property) who seem to think my land is open and available to enter onto to cut hedges, throw vegetable peelings, strim my side of the fence, etc etc. I try not to be paranoid but many many times I am certain they wouldn't do it if I was a man - they see a woman as a soft touch. So no, I am not going to be pally with him, ever, until and unless he can bring himself to be polite enough to say Hello when he sees me.
 
JillA said:
I am not going to be conciliatory - for someone who has deliberately snubbed me for two years and apparently already thinks I am the neighbour from hell, I'm not going to disabuse him. I have had three neighbours over the years (not all at that one property) who seem to think my land is open and available to enter onto to cut hedges, throw vegetable peelings, strim my side of the fence, etc etc. I try not to be paranoid but many many times I am certain they wouldn't do it if I was a man - they see a woman as a soft touch. So no, I am not going to be pally with him, ever, until and unless he can bring himself to be polite enough to say Hello when he sees me.
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maybe this is one of those times when everyone else can't be wrong.
 
I don't think it is anything to do with being a woman, I think most people who have never managed land don't have a clue, and aren't being deliberately nasty. They probably think that as it isn't a garden and just grazed by stock then it won't matter so much, and are unaware of any damage they may be doing. My dad's land bordered some houses and keeping on good terms and explaining why things are harmful was often the way forward.

As for saying hello, then if you also haven't said it to him he maybe think you are being rude too. It's worth a try being friendly first and giving them a chance and starting out as you mean to go on, there's enough trouble in the world without going looking for it.
 
ihatework said:
Deep breathe and calm down. Do not create WW3 over a tiny incident that isn't worth falling out with a neighbour for.

He has probably heard from previous house owners that you are the psychotic neighbour from hell, hence why avoiding you and minding his own business. Do not confirm that preconception.

Pop over, be calm and friendly, say its not a problem this time but in future could be let you know when he is spraying so that you can fence off that area. Also worth finding out what chemicals he used - you might find you are fine. I certainly wouldn't make a fuss about reseeding.
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This.

I am the type to get angry over small things and go in all guns blazing, it doesn't work, it only gets you in an even more stressful situation. Try not to be the nutty lady next door that they have been told about. And as for someone who ignores you when you say hello, I take great fun in keeping talking to them until they have to respond!
 
Ok, it has killed some of the grass, but it is weed grass, when it dies off rake in some grass seed. Is it really worth causing WW3 over that? He has snubbed you for 2 years, have you made any effort to talk to him in that time or are you tarring him with the same brush as your previous neighbours?
I fully appreciate it is a pain when people take your land for granted, we get it all the time, rubbish thrown in fields, dogs being walked through crops etc but being aggressive to people will not help and will not educated them.
Be nice, be civil you never know when you may need help. As my mother would say 'don't cut off your nose to spite your face'.
 
I don't think op is going to listen to reason. OP I can see why you would be annoyed but there was no damage to your livestock this time and it is such a small area I really think you're over reacting.

We have a couple of neighbours who walk passed our house on a daily basis, neither said hello for some time but when they eventually did it was clear why they hadn't previously - they both had different types of quite severe speech impedements. It must have taken some courage to finally say hello.

Maybe your neighbours lack of talking is in fact nothing to do with you but some kind of issue that makes contact with others difficult.
 
JillA said:
I don't treat all my neighbours like this - I get on very well with the rest. But not to even respond to a "hello" when he is head and shoulders above his fence with me about 10ft away leads me to think he isn't going to be very amenable.
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Does anyone ACTUALLY read posts? Or does everyone just skim read now a days?

Jill, for what it`s worth, i`d be inclined to pop round and see him, be your lovely self (and for everyone else reading, I KNOW JILL AND SHE IS LOVELY) .... Point out what has happened, and tell them you you completely understand how accidents happen, but in future could he let you know when he is spraying, just so you can ensure non of your animals eat it ... and go from there. Hand out the olive branch, just this once, and see where it goes. If he`s still a t**t after that, then take it further x
 
JillA said:
Not noticed?? Should have gone to Specsavers!!!

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Jeepers, you should see our lawn! I recently sprayed our weed prone gravel drive with Roundup, and despite taking every care, managed to get a similar amoint of overspray in a few places on my own lawn :o!

Is that the only affected area? From your OP, I imagined it to be much worse.

You must start with a low key approach to your neighbour, or this will blow up hugely.
 
Actually I see your point.
That is a mess, yes it will grow back and OK it isn't the end of the world and he was probably only tidying up his side but he needs to be more careful. That's it.

People do treat you differently when you are a woman on your own.
 
Oh wow. Such a lot of anger and upset. Earlier in the thread someone mentioned about being the common denominator if there are recurrent issues - might be worth considering regardless of how you may feel. It`s not easy, believe me I know, but isn`t it so much more pleasant to live in harmony not dispute, even if you have to be the bigger person to achieve it?

A soft answer turns away wrath - and confounds the hell out of the recipient! As a tactic it`s really worth considering!
 
touchstone said:
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As for saying hello, then if you also haven't said it to him he maybe think you are being rude too. It's worth a try being friendly first and giving them a chance and starting out as you mean to go on, there's enough trouble in the world without going looking for it.
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I wondered this.

I do agree with most posters to "be the better person" and make an effort to go round and talk to them, nicely. Can be hard I know but this is going to escalate into another dispute and your life will be very uncomfotable once again. Break the pattern and let the past go.

My mother had a great attitude I couldn't understand when I was younger but do now. Anyone rude or ignoring her "hellos" in passing etc. were treated to a charm offensive until she cracked them. Living in a small community it could be uncomfortable to have to deal with rude types every day and she wasn't going to accept it.
 
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JillA said:
I am not going to be conciliatory - for someone who has deliberately snubbed me for two years and apparently already thinks I am the neighbour from hell, I'm not going to disabuse him. I have had three neighbours over the years (not all at that one property) who seem to think my land is open and available to enter onto to cut hedges, throw vegetable peelings, strim my side of the fence, etc etc. I try not to be paranoid but many many times I am certain they wouldn't do it if I was a man - they see a woman as a soft touch. So no, I am not going to be pally with him, ever, until and unless he can bring himself to be polite enough to say Hello when he sees me.
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Perhaps he was trying to tidy it up - I wouldn't want to look out of my window onto that long weedy grass every day either. TBH I'm just glad I don't have neighbours.
 
I would definately try and approach it with a calm and friendly conversation to start with. I have recently had a neighbour who I have never had any problems with whatsoever, suddenly come all guns blazing to my front door 'ordering' me to move my horse trailer which has been temporarily parked outside my house whilst a skip is ordered to clear some household stuff. She got short change from me simply because of her attitude. Had she come around and discussed it in a civil manner the outcome would have been a lot more to her liking.
 
Jill-A can you put panels up along that fence line? I would do it to prevent people throwing things over and generally thinking they had a claim to your field as in trespassing etc. saves a whole load of issues in the long run including any 'accidents' with weed killer ;)
 
DCJACE said:
Jill, for what it`s worth, i`d be inclined to pop round and see him, be your lovely self (and for everyone else reading, I KNOW JILL AND SHE IS LOVELY) .... Point out what has happened, and tell them you you completely understand how accidents happen, but in future could he let you know when he is spraying, just so you can ensure non of your animals eat it ... and go from there. Hand out the olive branch, just this once, and see where it goes. If he`s still a t**t after that, then take it further x
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This is good advice - and what I would be inclined to do. I do 'get' how irritated you must be but, I don't think an aggressive stance will resolve anything long term. Best to try the friendly approach first and if no luck, as DCJACE says, you can take it further.
Good luck.
 
Tiddlypom said:
I spray Roundup regularly to keep our anti rabbit electric fence clear. I use a 5L handheld sprayer. Even on an apparently still day, spray drift often happens.

He may well have thought that he was spraying only his own land. I doubt that this was malicious, a friendly chat is probably the best way forward.

ETA If he has used Roundup, you will be left with bare earth. I think that you have to leave it for a few weeks before you can re seed the affected area.
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Roundup becomes inactive once its absorbed into the spoil so you can reseed pretty quickly or just leave the surrounding grass to recolonise the area.
 
OMG, I really dont think it was deliberate, it's a patch of grass!! My neighbour would have to go a long way to upset me over something and least of all some grass!! (although I only have one neighbour the rest are horses!). I think you need to just chill out and stop being so defensive. Round up isnt "that bad"!!
 
Its a tricky one but I would cut them a bit of slack. I was spraying our drive last week and managed to have spray drift on to the lawn, not a pretty sight but it will come back. On the other hand grass and weed spreading from adjoining land on to your property can look very messy and he was probably within his rights to spray that for weed control. Our garden used to border waste land and it was the only way to control the couch grass.

It can cause problems when you sell your property if neighbour problems have escalated. We have very odd neighbours too but it pays to live and let live.
 
good lord is that the extent of the damage?? i thought we were talking large scale grass massacre rather than a measly patch of weedy grass which tbh is right on the boundary and is probably a real pain in the arse to him constantly seeding and creeping into his garden. the only person who sounds like they have an issue with being a woman is you. sorry if it's not what you wanted to hear and i guess unless one of us says ''ohh yes take pictures take him to court, go to the papers and at the very least get a restraining order to keep him from going near your boundaries ever again' you're not going to agree with any of the responses as you have already decided he is in the wrong!
 
OP you come across as not a very nice person. It is only a bit of grass after all and it doesn't look like you have horses on there anyway so not sure what the issue is
 
When I lived next to a lady with horses, we had a similar sort of set up - i.e we could see her field and she could see our garden. She could appreciate that we didn't want to see her winter grazing growing back, so she used to cut about a metre away from the fence line, to keep everything neat and tidy. In return, we maintained the fence line, and kept her battery on our side of the fence.

I think you're making a big deal over something as small. just fence it off and get on with your horses. Round up is safe for pets, we use it and have dogs, and the yard also spray it around the edges of the school.
 
Good lord!!! What an extreme reaction. After reading your first post my thoughts were that what you were planning was way over the top. Ok, he's not spoken to you in 2 years, but as you seem to have had such problems with the previous neighbour, it's probable he's been told you're some sort of crazy woman and will only have had that side of the story. If this is the first thing he's done to upset you in 2 years, I can't understand why your first action wouldn't be to simply drop round, be friendly and say what's happened and that as it's grazed by animals you'd appreciate him letting you know if he was going to spray again. He may well apologise as he may not have realised it was necessary seeing as no animals are in there and it is a small area of overspray...

On seeing the photo, I'm even more shocked, I was expecting far more damage and your initial course of action seems off the scale extreme.
 
corrugated rusty iron sheeting. up agsainst the sheep netting on the fence. or crappy wooden panels. if you want to upset him that is.
 
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