More or less given up riding - what to do with my horse?

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Ziggy_

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Pretty much as the title, but please read before you comment.

Over the last six months I've lost interest in riding. Its not a confidence thing, its just my motivation to ride and enjoyment of it have slowly slipped away. I gave my horse the winter off and at the beginning of Feb I started bringing her back into work and enjoyed some really nice hacks.

Today, I looked at the calander and realised that once again, I haven't ridden for over a month. The weather's been lovely, the evenings are light, but I've had no desire to ride what so ever. I have had a bad back for a long time but over this winter it has really deteriorated; riding is uncomfortable and I can't help but sit wonky, then as a result am constantly paranoid that I'm doing my horse damage. I work long hours on my feet and am constantly knackered and riding has fallen by the wayside once again.

Now here's the problem. My horse does not cope well with not being in work. She loses weight and seems generally bored and miserable. Its not the lack of attention - I still groom her etc but she needs a job to do and when in work, it needs to be every single day or she is just too excitable.

I should sell her but I don't want to, mainly for selfish reasons. She is LOU so not worth much financially and I couldn't afford to replace her if I decide I want to ride again; and besides, I absolutely adore her - I don't want to let her go because I know I won't find another one like her. She is a very difficult ride and has had a bad past; I don't want her to end up being passed from pillar to post again.

Ideally I need a sharer but I've advertised several times and nothing has materialised yet, although I'm still looking.

At the moment, she is stood in the field all day. She has plenty to eat, lots of company, is brought in every day for a fuss but she just isn't the same happy horse that goes bounding off across the field when we get home from a hack. She doesn't look particualarly well in herself and spends a good few hours a day standing by the gate looking hopeful. People at my yard are muttering that I'm being unfair on her, and I'm inclined to agree.

So, what would you do in my situation? I've got a horse who isn't really sell-able, that I'm happy to keep as a pet, but she's not happy being a pet. Any ideas?
 
is there somewhere you can turn her away with company/in a herd fro a while? somewhere where no-one else is bringing in/turning out/riding all the time then she may not feel 'like she is missing out'?
 
Is there no one at your yard who would like to ride her or would know of someone?

Perhaps you could walk her out in hand to graze just to give her a change of scenery?
 
I would keep advertising for a share for her, or even look for a loan home and then at least that way you still have some control over what happens to her. Are you able to lunge her a couple of times a week so she feels like she is getting a bit of work? What about walking her out in hand? How old is she? Could she be broken to drive? That wouldn't hurt your back.
 
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I work long hours on my feet and am constantly knackered and riding has fallen by the wayside once again.

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I picked up on this as I am asking myself big questions at the moment about my ability to cope with an 11 hour day and a DIY horse. I am concerned at my lethargy when it comes to riding (today I had a lesson and didn't even groom - yeah he wasn't really dirty but if you knew me, you'd know this is horribly out of character!). I am lucky in that my lad is just the same as he was to get on if he hasn't been worked in weeks, and that he keeps himself very fit charging up and down his hillside. But he does get down if he's not worked. Are you sure it's not just a symptom of being really tired, or down? I mean, are you quite sure that you have lost interest in riding? How long have you felt like this? Don't do anything rash xx
 
Lizzie87, I was going to snap at you (''She IS in a herd, she HAS company!!) until I realised what you meant - possibly you're right, and not being with horses who are coming and going would be of benefit. Nowhere immediately springs to mind but it might be something to look into, so thanks for the idea.

Walking her in hand is something I'd love to do but its out of the question, she is far too unpredictable to lead. She's OK around the yard where she knows she's safe but positively dangerous away from it.
 
Sorry, I don't know much about your horse, but is it possible to break her to harness? You would find it much better for yourself and be able to keep her active and with a 'proper' use. (For me, a companion is 'proper' use, but not if she can't cope without working) Just a thought.
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I work long hours on my feet and am constantly knackered and riding has fallen by the wayside once again.

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I picked up on this as I am asking myself big questions at the moment about my ability to cope with an 11 hour day and a DIY horse. I am concerned at my lethargy when it comes to riding (today I had a lesson and didn't even groom - yeah he wasn't really dirty but if you knew me, you'd know this is horribly out of character!). I am lucky in that my lad is just the same as he was to get on if he hasn't been worked in weeks, and that he keeps himself very fit charging up and down his hillside. But he does get down if he's not worked. Are you sure it's not just a symptom of being really tired, or down? I mean, are you quite sure that you have lost interest in riding? How long have you felt like this? Don't do anything rash xx

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Ditto! I really, really struggle over this winter to motivate myself to do anything, let alone ride. I also work long hours and have just fell so un-enthusiastic about doing anything. Luckily now the weather has improved and I have moved my horses to where I work I am able to ride most days and am really enjoying it again.

Would a change of scenery help you and your horse do you think?
 
I wish I could help
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Lack of driving skills (am a learner) and being a bit ill at the mo means I'm useless too
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I hope you do find someone, there's lots of people wanting a horse to share!
 
Definately sounds like you need to put her out on part-full loan but keep her at present yard so you can see her (this is prob a sharer but im being blond!). Sounds like she is craving a bit of routine (with regards to riding).
Have you tried advertising in horsemart.co.uk? I did once and I was inundated for my coloured.
 
I've toyed with the idea of breaking her to drive but I don't know whether she's a suitable type; as I said she's unpredictable and spooky from the ground and seems to take a lot of confidence from her rider. I'm not sure how that would translate to driving...
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Ditto working livery, I've thought about that - my old RS has a lot of customers who have been riding there for years (ie. experienced) and some pretty challenging horses so she'd fit right in - but she gets bored quickly in the school too and needs a lot of variety, so that more or less rules that out too.

Skewby I think you hit the nail on the head if I'm honest - I can't stand my job, I hate every minute of being there. I'm looking for a new one but obviously thats very difficult at the moment, and I can't afford not to work, but nor can I afford to pay full or part livery to give myself a break. I can't really see a way out of it, which is really getting me down
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I've toyed with the idea of breaking her to drive but I don't know whether she's a suitable type; as I said she's unpredictable and spooky from the ground and seems to take a lot of confidence from her rider. I'm not sure how that would translate to driving...
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Oh dear, probably not suitable for driving really.
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you could try and contact the local riding club or pony club to see if there is someone who has needs a share horse. you say she is lou. why would she cope with low level jumping, dressage?
 
Thanks for that idea, I will get in touch with them.

She is LOU as she has bone spavins, which are fused. She can jump, dressage, hunt, etc, but I want someone who will be careful with her and not hammer her on hard ground etc.
 
Either loan, Or what about putting her in foal ?
I have 2 loan mares with me at the moment , both of their owners were in the same mind as you especially as they both work long hours and felt that they were not giving their horse as much time/ work/ attention as they should ,I explained that I would like to put them in foal to my boy and we have come to an arrangement whereby I pay all the bill, worming , jabs farrier , dentist and any incidental Vets that may occur -I hope not ever !!!.In return Hopefully my boy wil do the job and the mares are fertile and will produce a baby for next year, they are also not far from them, they can come and see / ride after the mares are 3 month pregnant until 3 months before birth.
There are a few people who do this, but make sure who they are, ask around,is insurance in place for breeding ?.care for your horse both before , during and after. If they say you can't see your girl at any time(some people like to have specific times, but you should be able to see them in the field.without an appontment)--walk away, If it doesn't sound right --walk away.
 
I have just found a great sharer for my horse as he can't do as much as i;d like to now, and have found a great part loan for myself that I can compete on - for very similar reasons to you in that I don't want to sell my horse. Keep looking for a sharer - perhaps some adverts up in your local saddleries etc.

Or you could look at a retirement livery - I looked into it for my old horse and in some they live out on huge farms (100's of acres) in big herds and are literally grazing / foraging all day so less likely to get bored.

Good luck with whatever you decide
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Just an idea for sharers as I think this might be your best option...I've always contacted local Universities who often have riding clubs with students who are experienced riders because they had horses at home but can't afford them at Uni, and still really keen to ride a horse without having to take over all the costs. That might suit you down to the ground.
 
I have someone who "shares" one of mine. They don't pay anything towards his keep but they muck out/bring in/groom weekdays and weekends when we are competing with my other horse, I turn out mornings and try and ride once/twice a week but with a demanding job and long commute as well as another horse competing (not with me I must add but I drive lorry/groom etc!) I would not have the time for him. She loves him to bits and looks after him really well but cannot afford to contribute but the time/work/love she puts into him is invaluable. If you can afford to, why not advertise for someone like this?
 
Oh, please don't put her in foal as one reply suggested!

If she has bone spavins and an unpredictable nature then breeding that on is hardly a good idea and imagine how tired you would be after dealing with foaling and a foal to train- yikes! There are more than enough horses out there already.

Why not try some groundwork games? You could do a few things each day without the grief of having to groom/tack up and hack out.

This would have the added benefit of improving the relationship you have with your horse, make her more predictable to handle and keep her mentally and physically fit.
 
Pity you dont live near me I have broken horse(lou) and want to ride and he needs time off and enjoys eating all day.Like you I adore my boy and worry constantly about his future.Making decisions is hard with these horses.I dont know what to suggest but I think you know that your horse needs something more than a groom and pamper.What about project horse sometimes people advertise and dont mind problems
 
I would suggest TRYING driving... take it one step at a time.

I lost interest in riding...simple. At 19. Not because of boys, or university, as I still needed my horses, but because I just didn't really want to ride anymore.

I'm now driving, and having a blast. It is THE most fun I have EVER had with a horse... and just because your girl is finicky and sometimes silly, doesn't mean she can't be a good driver... you won't know til you try... the only thing I can suggest is to make sure a good, light handed, and experience driver breaks her... The last thing you want is her mouth to harden.

good luck with her.
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Skewby I think you hit the nail on the head if I'm honest - I can't stand my job, I hate every minute of being there. I'm looking for a new one but obviously thats very difficult at the moment, and I can't afford not to work, but nor can I afford to pay full or part livery to give myself a break. I can't really see a way out of it, which is really getting me down
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I could have written those exact words myself! I am planning a longer term career change, but also looking around for something else until I'm in the position to do that. I so know what you mean - I feel like there's nothing left of me once I've finally finished work, and my spare time is so limited. But there is stuff out there - not as much as there was, but I'm still looking, and hoping! I really do hope you find a solution to this or even better, a new job xxx
 
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