Mortified, feel I let him down when it really mattered

Porkie

Porkie

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On Sunday we had an accident.

I was out hacking on my own with my trusty 29 yo when a kite (the kind on string not with feathers) swooped over the bushes out of nowhere. He spooked violently (can't blame him to be fair!) and I came off. I tried to hold him but I only had him by my little finger and half a ton of horse is a lot to contain with your little finger while you're face down in the farmers field, concussed and winded.

He bolted and I couldn't catch him. I tried in vain for what felt like forever but he was panicking by now and running aimlessly in fright. Eventually he galloped off out of sight up through the fields and out of sight towards many exits onto many roads and I had no idea where.....

I am mortified I couldn't hold him, he really needed me then and I let him down. I keep telling myself I did everything I could - almost immediatelty at 4.27pm I managed to phone the yard owner and at 4.36pm she phoned to say she had caught him. It took just 9 minutes. She had jumped straight in the car with someone else and because I cover both of us from head to toe in hi viz as she'd pulled out the yard she'd seen him galloping down a track so sort of followed him and headed him off at an exit before he got onto a road. I keep trying to tell myself that I did the next best thing and got help, that I'd used hi viz and that had helped, that I'd had my phone in my pocket etc etc but I keep going over and over it and how differently it could have turned out and keep assessing everything he does now like he blames me, like our bond is damaged ......

Someone was watching out for us that day that's for sure, he hasn't got a scratch on him and apart from a bit of bruising and a thump to the head I am fine, I know that's the main thing but I am really cut up about it, he trusted me to look after him and I let him down.
 
Nothing you could have done- if he was scared, hanging on would have freaked him out more ("Agh! Scary thing! And now something's chasing me... RUN FASTER!!"). And I reckon the older the get the more spooky at things like that they become, but they also tend to look out a bit more. My horse is another oldie, and he really does look out for cars and the likes...
 
aww don't beat yourself us, these things happen to all of us and i'm sure he doesn't feel any different about you to what he did the day before, just thank god that none of you were hurt and alls well that ends well x
 
Horses run, that's what they do. Nothing to do with bonds or otherwise - he was probably thinking that you need another pair of legs so's you can keep up.

You did everything you could, and more than most.

Have a hug and a large hot choccy.
 
Echo what the others say, plus, do you feel he let you down by dropping you? No of course you don't, it was one of those things. Accidents happen and we can't control every situation, surely that is one reason we ride, there is an element of risk. You do what you can to minimise the risks and no one was badly hurt, let it go if you possibly can.
 
The fact that you had taken the precaution to cover him in Hi-Viz made it easy for your yard owner to find him and others to see him. One tip I would give you is get a couple of metal dog tags engraved with your contact telephone number and that of your vet and yard and have one put on the bridle and the other on the saddle so that if your horse gets loose and is found they will know who to contact.
 
Aww you really didn't let him down at all! You did your best to hang on to him. Don't beat yourself up. Glad you are both ok. Hugs :)
 
PeterNatt said:
One tip I would give you is get a couple of metal dog tags engraved with your contact telephone number and that of your vet and yard and have one put on the bridle and the other on the saddle so that if your horse gets loose and is found they will know who to contact.
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Good idea! I have been thinking since Sunday that I need contact details on him but was thinking of the visitor bad type but dog tags are better - thanks! :)
 
Please give yourself a break, you did what you could and all got home safe, echo the dog tag idea, have contact details on the saddle. Had a convo with my friend the other day, her boys are learning to ride and we are wondering how to make sure that not only the pony can be found and returned but so can the boys! have sondered about medic allert type bracelets.
 
Ditto what others have said. But imagen if you had have held on and he dragged you along and maybe even kicked out at you and injured you so you could no longer care for him. Now that would be letting him down.
I came off a young cob once He reared up and came over in the middle of the road. I hit the road hard and broke my hip. Jo ran off a short distance but came back when he realised i wasn't with him anymore. He tryed to nuzzle me as i lay in the road. The cows that had spooked him where still there and i was worried he would spook again and jump on me so i shouted at him and waved my whip and arms as best i could and told him to go home and get help. (as if he could understand). He did go home it wasn't far and he got help to bless him. I did look back on this thinking why did i do that he could have got hurt. But i could have been hurt even more. I guess what i'm trying to say is you have to do whats best in the situation and try not to beat yourself up after.
You did the right thing.
 
Absolute b..ll...s, girl! ;) You did everything you could and more. I doubt very much indeed whether your bond with your horse is in any way damaged. You might think so but I doubt he does. :D

Honestly, don't upset yourself about it. Everyone came home safe, he was wearing hi viz so he could be seen as well as you and we all take the risk of getting chucked off every time we get on! :eek:

I just hope the wretched person on the end of the kite rushed to help you!
 
It's happened to me, don't feel bad, it is nothing to do with letting him down or breaking your bond, horses are prey/flight animals and sometimes their instinct to escape danger can over-ride everything else - I can barely hold my dog when he wants to go and investigate something, there is no way a human can control as much animal as a horse when they are scared and want to run, with a thin strip of leather connected to a bit of metal.

Don't sweat it, you are both fine, you did everything right, count your blessings, I do, every day x
 
Sounds to me like you did the best you could all round. Very pleased you both got home safely. Give him a big hug and put it behind you - I'm sure he has :)
 
Thanks guys :) I will try and get a grip!! I guess I just keep dwelling on the 'what if's' :-/ I've already been back out hacking on our own, just down the road and back for 20 minutes but we did it!! He didn't hesitate to go forward out the driveway but was very jumpy - which made me jumpy - which made him jumpy again! Doh! Hoping to go again with a friend tomorrow.
 
Glad you've been out again, and glad you have hopefully stopped blaming yourself.

What ifs don't help anything - I know its a LOT easier said than done, but try not to. x
 
Don't be so daft woman!! ;)

Your horse is fine, you are fine, get out there and enjoy yourself. :)

You didn't let him down or yourself, it happens with the best of horses.

Wish you all the best.
 
I tend to apologise to mine for days if I do something "I" feel I could have avoided, hindsight is always easy, there wasn't anything you could have done under the circumstances, and we have all been there, dont beat yourself up ;)
 
Oh hun, what a nightmare! The main thing is you are both ok, and yes, it could have turned out better, BUT it could have turned out a whole lot worse!!!

Give your self a break... you was there for him, you covered him in hi-viz, which meant he was easy to spot.
Freak incidents happen, you can't spot that, but you can help prevent them turning into freak fatal accidents!
 
Same thing happened to me last night....Bentley freaked out at herd of deer, dumped me and then took himself home! Don't beat yourself up, it happens. Just carry on again like normal and show him no harm has come out of it x
 
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I haven't read all the responses....but just wanted to say that IMO you did everything possible - particularly that you covered him in hi-viz. YOu can't always guarantee not falling off...it happens!
 
huge (((((((((((((((((hugs !!!))))))))))))))))))))))

There was absolutely NOTHING you could have done differently, you coped far better than I would have done. It was a freak accident, and you are in deep shock. Take comfort in the fact that your beloved horse is ok, and so are you (almost).

Another huge reason for hi-viz and mobile phone - you are a great positive example !!

wishing you the best, sm x
 
I haven't read all the replies so I might be repeating what somebody else has already said but even the best riders sometimes fall off & a sudden, violent shy is very hard to stay on.
If you had hung on to the reins & he was determind to run off, you would have ended up being dragged & could have done yourself a serious mischief.
Which would have meant that you couldn't phone for help so he might have ended up getting hurt but somebody was able to catch him before he came to any harm.
Sometimes accidents just happen, feeling bad & thinking "what if" is natural.
If you hadn't had a phone & hi viz the outcome could have been so much worse.
 
DiablosGold said:
Well done for decking the both of you out in hi-viz - you didn't let him down at all, you helped save him.

Hope you're both OK xxx
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Thanks:) We are lucky, someone was watching out for us that day that's for sure. He doesn't have a scratch on him and I have recovered from my minor bumps! We are both just a bit nervy out at the moment :-/ It rattles you for a while - I'm hoping to get over that feeling soon! He is jumping at everything, even on the yard.......like the CAT !!! :-o
 
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