Most Embarrassing Things That Your Horses Have Done?

I have a couple. My old horse spooked when a rabbit ran under her feet and I fell off in front of a neighbour who was sunbathing topless in her back garden..... we also booked a jumping schooling session with daughters pony club instructor due to naughty horse refusing and dumping daughter. Instructor was an event rider and was dumped within first 5 minutes but pony went on to win at her next event...
 
Years ago when I was a teenager I had a white horse very like the one in my avatar, he was stabled in a pub yard all the time and was usually poo stained when he got ridden out. I had just washed him and he was sparkly white when he escaped from the yard and ran around the road to the vicarage where he had a whale of a time bucking and skidding all over the vicars manicured lawn. I was mortified when I saw what damage he had done. He scuttled around the back to the Vicars veggie patch where I found a startled Vicar tending his veg. I was wondering how much trouble I was going to be in when he said in a very loud and cheerful voice, 'My goodness, doesn't he look magnificent when he's clean'!! I couldn't apologise enough but was told 'My dear it's only grass, it will mend, your horse on the other hand will only get dirty again' :)
 
Most definitely the child-biting incident.

Horse impeccably mannered and regularly went for play dates with our neighbor's autistic child. Gentle, sweet, loving, trustworthy horse.

Tourist couple with small child wearing those stupid squeaky shoes approached and politely asked if child could pat horse. I agreed. Horse did not.

I could not apologise enough, offered to pay for stitches etc- it was bad! They were so nice about it, just made me feel worse.

He's never done anything like that since. I'm still not sure what it was that upset him but it was sheer malice and hatred from his side. My suspicion is that he objected to the shoes.
 
While out hacking with a child who had a tendency to hang on to her pony's mouth, I was trotting along with my reins at buckle end and showing her that I still had full control of the pony. A Mule(!!) popped it's head over the hedge and brayed at us. Next thing I knew, both whipped round, dumped us both and legged it- Only I was launched into the feet of a passing jogger who had to stop PDQ to avoid going over the top of me. Then had to explain to child's mother the reason for the fall when both ponies were caught by a local livery yard on their way home!

The same pony (my driving trials pony at the time) used to accept the aids from the whip quite happily at home (when asked to bend etc) but if I dared to touch him with it at competition in public, reacted as though I beat him with a stick on a daily basis... He's the type that if a stick were ever raised to him in anger, wouldn't be seen for dust for three counties and I wouldn't dream of it!
 
Pooing on the grass verge outside Teddy Sherringham's house, whilst he was looking out of his kitchen window!

Also, months later, when he was dating Danielle Lloyd and the whole CBB thing kicked off, all the press were camped outside his house, it was just along from our yard. Went out for a little hack, and Mr bombproof, won't spook at anything, decided EVERYTHING was out to kill him, and went down the road sideways, often on 2 legs. I did ask the press if they wanted a pic, but apparently we were glam enough.
 
My first proper loan pony, a great veteran NF, let out a very loud and rip roaring fart in the final walk round in family pony, just as he passed the judge. I turned round and clamped his tail down, the judge said "I should think so too!". We still won though. Same pony had to be taken out of a veteran class for dancing on two hind legs.

I got bucked off mid dressage test when my horse got upset by another exploding in the warm up arena.
 
on one of our usual hacks there were some roadworks with traffic lights. I was waiting on the red light turning with a queue of cars behind me. Horse peed on the tarmac-seemed to last for hours (we missed one turn of the lights as did everyone behind us) and the one and only time he ever peed on the road. :D
 
Son's horse was given a sugar cube by Pammy Hutton for behaving so well during their lesson - he took it, shook his head and spat it right back in her face - mortification all round!
Mine mugged a cyclist who had very kindly dismounted and moved to the side of the bridleway to let us pass. I am in control of my pony really (well some of the time). He also once dumped me at a TREC just as we went to canter under the low branches. I leaned forwards - he slung on the brakes and then looked at me sprawled on the floor as if to say 'WHY are you down there?' Fortunately there were only about 30 people watching at the time!
 
ODE many years ago on a horse that loved water. Jumped in, then horse stopped, had a drink, pawed water, dunked head, pawed again, had another drink then cantered out and finished XC as if nothing unusual had happened. Hard to concentrate when you are laughing so hard!
 
Two things spring to mind from last year... First ever show, Ben decides to break free of his tie up to the lorry, luckily I was only meters away because he was so stressy I couldn't leave him, so caught him easily... I'm stood in front of him and he steps on my boot, doesn't get my toes or foot, just the end of my boot... He then decides to take a step forward whilst still pinning me down with his other foot and bowls me backwards straight on my butt!!

A week later, and we were at a county show... Sparkling white and behaving brilliantly, we walk up to stand for the judge, and she asks us to trot away...


Oh the shame of it...
http://images.jamespyne.co.uk/v/photos/cn1669vg/10763223602?ppp=60

She was really brilliant and said its fine, he's just a baby but I was mortified!!!
 
Far too many things - here's a sampling:

1) Performed most of his (very first) intro test in canter and sideways

2) Before he went into the arena for the above test, broke away from the lorry and legged it down the drive of the venue

3) Very nearly sat on a fence judges car bonnet due to repeated rearing at a fence (which was about one foot six high)

4) After XC schooling at Boomerang, decided he wanted to go round again, broke away from the lorry and headed out onto the course - we had to ask Sarah Stretton (who was there schooling hers ahead of the start of the season - along with Dan Jocelyn, Paul Tapner and a large string of Nicky Henderson's NH horses) if she would let him run into the back of one of hers to stop him . . . oh the shame :(

5) At Crofton Manor, he insisted on stopping just as he went into the arena to "wave at the crowd" sitting on the bank - every SINGLE time. They thought he was funny . . . I thought he was an awkward git.

P
 
MotherOfChickens said:
on one of our usual hacks there were some roadworks with traffic lights. I was waiting on the red light turning with a queue of cars behind me. Horse peed on the tarmac-seemed to last for hours (we missed one turn of the lights as did everyone behind us) and the one and only time he ever peed on the road. :D
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My pony did that when I was out in the trap years ago. Half way across a traffic light controlled junction where we were crossing the A6, stopped for a massive wee and refused to move until finished causing chaos all around.

I did have a stallion at one time who was good at showing me up. I rode into the village one day and went into the post office, tying him up outside. Came out to find he had been using the time to energetically masturbate in front of all the locals.
 
At a dressage competition our mare decided to do the most enormous smelliest poo just in front of the judges table. They had to sit there for the rest of the test and then sharplywalked away trying not to laugh whilst the steward came and removed it. I was mortified, the mare looked very pleased with herself. She got a second place that day.
 
not sure I can blame my horse for this, stupidest thing I ever did...but the memory has haunted me lol even now when I ride through there I cringe. Most embarrassing thing I did and regret!
Small village on busy tourist Saturday, I decided to ride pony through the pond to cool off (which I'd done before many times) on this occasion she decided she didn't want to go in. V embarrassing so I spent bloody ages trying to get her in then finally she did, walking round in it and everyone looking 'ahhh' at the pony. Suddenly she freaked out and tried to jump on a tiny wall at the edge, she slipped and fell over, went underwater (me included!) so I had to remount with everyone laughing/gasping and then do the 'ride of shame' home, me and her both saturated. Some bloke was yelling at me that I was an idiot '****ing brainless'. Really mean when I think now, I was just a school kid! I didn't ride back there again for about 5 years and I remember crying when I got back and saw my pony had cut her leg. She has a scar on her leg still even though that was over 10 years ago. Even writing this, I still cringe!
 
We cleared the warm up at our first ever dressage, fortunately it was a quiet mid week evening dressage so there were only about 4 other people in the warm up, but highly embarrassing when your 13.1hh fell pony with hair everywhere is flying through the air with the greatest of ease leaving the tall dressage looking horses cowering all at one end of the warm up! He did calm down and go on to win the intro though!
 
Where to start!
She squashed a vet against the wall when he was examining her. She bucked off a girl from my work who claimed she'd done a lot of riding - but bounced horribly in canter which my girl was not used to. She bit a nice old guy who used to come round the yard and give all the horses treats over the stable door (aargh!). An her favourite misdemeanour - comung on to human men especially farriers, when she is in season. There is never a dull moment.
 
Riding my very fit hunter on the beach for the very first time during the winter with a group of friends, we set off for a sedate canter along the shore line, my horse just took off, there was no way I could stop him, luckily there wasn't anyone close by, as we came into view of the end of the beach he was still showing no sign of stopping so I thought I would turn him towards to promanade to stop him.......big mistake he just jumped up onto it and came to a shuddering stop narrowly missing a policeman!
 
Had one decide to take a roll with me on, once... No amount of coaxing would prevent it. According to the lookers-on I dismounted "very gracefully", so there is that.

Also had my most favourite loan horse, way back in the day, show off her impeccable timing by unseating me in an arc over her head and into a pile of snow as we were going down a steep narrow slope. My RI, whom I was exercising horses with, had, not a minute before, waxed poetic about how I was the one of her riders who hadn't taken a fall in the last three years... Swear the little mare was listening in on us! RI would not stop laughing the hour it took us to get back after that.
 
MargotC said:
Had one decide to take a roll with me on, once... No amount of coaxing would prevent it. According to the lookers-on I dismounted "very gracefully", so there is that.

Lol, reminds me of years ago being out hunting on a friends horse that would drop and roll if you dared to have a drink whilst mounted, he didn't mind if you dismounted before being handed a drink though, fair enough you might say, but not easy to get back on board, he was 17hh!
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On a hack on an old bridleway over some narrow Roman bridges (which are cobbled and a bit of task to get over), pony decides to do the whole 'drop and spin' and catapulted an innocent dog walker into the stream below with his backside. I couldn't say sorry enough.

It's just a good job it was a warm day and not totally freezing!
 
My shetland pony, Bob was at a show once when he silently untied himself from my ifor williams trailer and loaded himself in the very posh lorry horsebox parked next to us !!. The lady unloaded him and brought him to us where we were sat in front of the landrover and trailer saying "i think this is yours", i was so embarrassed but luckily she found it funny.
 
Pmsl at these, brilliant!!

My gelding embarrassed me a couple of years ago, we did a le trec, we went round the orienteering phase and he was as good as gold.
Came back and there were a few of us waiting to do our control of paces, and there were people doing the obstacles nearby too. Jimmy just dropped to roll! And then proceeded to lay there while I tried to get him back up! (He has now stopped doing this but in the first 2 years after backing him, if he got sweaty he would roll)
There were a lot of people watching and I got several comments about it through the day
 
Very opinionated yearling brought in for jabs + slightly confidant young vet + my pretty and well endowed sister = vet walking them to the field to 'help' turn out. Sis turned my youngster out, vet not looking at horse (i wouldn't hazard a guess what he was looking at!) Youngster kicks him square in the bum.
Quite embarrassed vet!
 
I used to own a cob who was a bit of a tart when she was in season. She was tied to the fence while the farrier trimmed her feet and someone a little dim who had been specifically told not to tie a gelding near her when she was in season went and tied a gelding right next to her. So she whickered and winked at him, then pissed on the farriers head.
 
Kezzabell2 said:
it must be a connie thing! my 4yr old is connie x tb and every time I put his boots on or hold a back foot for too long he poos! how he's not got me on the head yet ill never know! he did poo in my tack box a couple of weeks ago though! yuck!
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This is weird, my Connie x tb can be a right awkward b****r when he wants to be - we were having an argument about everything this particular day, I thought I'd won and he was standing quietly while I picked his back foot when I felt something roll down my back... yep. He just looked at me, and I knew I hadn't won this time!
 
I was leading my mare back to the field when a car pulled up beside me asking for directions. As I gave detailed instructions, I noticed the passengers were nudging each other and looking agitated. Turned round to lead my girl into the field and.... She'd chewed the car ariel off and was just starting on the wing mirror oops!!
 
There are so many, how do you choose? Shetland pony at a driving trial, they very helpfully mark 'X' for the dressage, usually with sawdust but on this occasion some bright spark had used chaff. I could choose between losing lots of marks for avoiding X by several feet, or if we went near it, having a pony with its head on the floor grabbing a mouthful. The dog chasing a swallow through the middle of a (stranger's) showjumping round was fairly mortifying too.
 
I love these! the dog walker in the stream! priceless!

our Harry is a bit of a champion wee-er. 2 best efforts were (1) on the nudist beach (which we had strayed on to by accident) where no doubt the sight of lots of other chaps with their tackle out had inspired him… all those poor men must have felt very inadequate. and (2) on a long journey we heard him kicking a bit in the lorry, stopped to check and he showed signs of needing a wee, ignored the hay we chucked down under his tum to provide a soft landing, so I found myself unloading him in McDonald's car park, where he duly relieved himself under the McDonalds sign and a helpful friend took a picture!
 
Dannylandrover said:
My shetland pony, Bob was at a show once when he silently untied himself from my ifor williams trailer and loaded himself in the very posh lorry horsebox parked next to us !!. The lady unloaded him and brought him to us where we were sat in front of the landrover and trailer saying "i think this is yours", i was so embarrassed but luckily she found it funny.
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Snork. This is my favourite :).

P
 
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