Moving on from the perfect horse

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HopOnTrot

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Im tentatively considering another horse. I’ve owned my mare for 13 years and have ridden little else. She is the quietest easiest horse, I could drag her out of retirement tomorrow and hack up the side of the motor way or go hunting and she wouldn’t bat an eyelid. I’ve clipped her lose in the field. I can trust her past any obstacle.

I am not a bold or a talented rider, I’m a happy hacker who occasionally gets notions to do a simple dressage test or a (very) small course of jumps.

How on earth to I find a new horse? I’ve looked at adverts for “happy hacks” but they all sound like they’re too broken to do anything else!

How do I find a calm sensible 14.2, that will hack on a moderately busy road. Something that must go out alone or as a nanny to small children.

Not committed to buying another yet as I don’t really want 3 but I’d like to look!
 
I have the perfect horse currently, and I've told myself that he will be my last. It's just not possible to be so lucky two times in a row. He ticks absolutely every box and after having owned several horses previously either half crazy or injured I realize how exceptionally rare he is.
 
HopOnTrot said:
Im tentatively considering another horse. I’ve owned my mare for 13 years and have ridden little else. She is the quietest easiest horse, I could drag her out of retirement tomorrow and hack up the side of the motor way or go hunting and she wouldn’t bat an eyelid. I’ve clipped her lose in the field. I can trust her past any obstacle.

I am not a bold or a talented rider, I’m a happy hacker who occasionally gets notions to do a simple dressage test or a (very) small course of jumps.

How on earth to I find a new horse? I’ve looked at adverts for “happy hacks” but they all sound like they’re too broken to do anything else!

How do I find a calm sensible 14.2, that will hack on a moderately busy road. Something that must go out alone or as a nanny to small children.

Not committed to buying another yet as I don’t really want 3 but I’d like to look!
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The 14.2 bracket is incredibly popular so either very expensive or like you’ve found, potentially has issues to make it affordable. A horse with those requirements will be very costly I think unless you buy something young or unbroken x
 
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I can identify with this OP. It’s not easy.My heart horse is 19 and semi retired. I hacked him yesterday and it’s so nice having such a relationship you know each other so well. I started looking for something to replace him over 2 years ago. Im in my late 50’s and want to keep grassroots eventing but on something sane! I’m now on my 3rd new horse. Previous 2 were not quite as described and I’m very much hoping it’s 3rd time lucky. Good luck in your search
 
I think you'll surprise yourself! My previous foot perfect pony, talented and competitive (15.2hh) has now go on to be a teenagers pony and is loving his life teaching her the ropes after I produced him for 5 years from unbroken. My next horse was a bit more challenging in the early days of our partnership, but now that we've built a good relationship he's also turned into my dream horse (and more my preferred size at 17.3hh) - unfortunately I have had to retire him but in his stable I've got a clients horse who again, has completely impeccable manners and is so easy to do everything with. The clients horse might not be a competitive show jumper, but I'm sure my next personal horse will come around when it's ready.
 
They are out there for the right £, but you might have to try and kiss a few frogs before you find the right one.

I’d probably suggest trying to ride a number of different horses before going on your purchase hunt, perhaps see if there are local hacking/trail riding schools nearby. Whatever you sit on will feel very different so it would be useful to desensitise yourself to that first
 
HopOnTrot said:
I don’t want young and I don’t want broken, budget not really an issue, I just want the right horse.
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Thing is these days, even with a generous budget, you can still get caught out big time, the only difference is the money you're risking. For this reason for now I am sticking to oldies and loans and had a new kitchen fitted instead. I was hoping the hay shortage and cost of living would bring prices down to a more sensible level but haven't seen much difference yet.
 
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marmalade76 said:
Thing is these days, even with a generous budget, you can still get caught out big time, the only difference is the money your risking. For this reason for now I am sticking to oldies and loans and had a new kitchen fitted instead. I was hoping the hay shortage and cost of living would bring prices down to a more sensible level but haven't seen much difference yet.
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No sadly, though prices are down a bit over winter as you'd expect really
 
Generally if someone has such a unicorn then they won't part with them for love nor money! Hence starting at the very beginning to make my own.

It can be a tough journey and takes time and money in professional help but often doesn't take longer or more money than searching for years, numerous failed vettings and/or expensive mistakes to try to find 'The One' and at least you can have some fun along the way and enjoy the sense of achievement when you start to reap the benefits of your hard work. Plus when you have a blip along the way you know the whole history so it's easier to pinpoint what might be causing any issue. I don't like to rush so estimate 2 years from blank canvas to really starting to be where I want to be. Could a professional have them there much faster? Of course, however I'm old and getting creaky and don't bounce well so prefer to be confident each stage is strongly established before moving on. I'm lucky I guess in that I enjoy the journey with them, we grow together and each horse has taught me something new during the process. Definitely worth considering, particularly because you have a few years hopefully before you want to be up and running with your new horse.
 
I’ve been/am in a similar position. My older boy is mainly hacking now, so I bought a 4yo who had just been backed. He was sadly put to sleep with some significant issues which would have prevented him even hacking long-term.

I have since bought another, and it’s been a total disaster! I’m happy to admit I got it totally wrong with him. Him and I are just not a match, and he’s currently reasonably lame in two legs and due back in hospital for an MRI. I haven’t even sat on him 🤦‍♀️. Both horses were five stage vetted.

Don’t let my story put you off, but I guess what I was trying to say (badly!) is next time I would try to find a decent dealer over here selling my stamp of horse, and go to them in the hope they might have more than one to try. It is a minefield, as I’ve found out, but there must still be some genuine ones out there.
 
alibali said:
Generally if someone has such a unicorn then they won't part with them for love nor money! Hence starting at the very beginning to make my own.

It can be a tough journey and takes time and money in professional help but often doesn't take longer or more money than searching for years, numerous failed vettings and/or expensive mistakes to try to find 'The One' and at least you can have some fun along the way and enjoy the sense of achievement when you start to reap the benefits of your hard work. Plus when you have a blip along the way you know the whole history so it's easier to pinpoint what might be causing any issue. I don't like to rush so estimate 2 years from blank canvas to really starting to be where I want to be. Could a professional have them there much faster? Of course, however I'm old and getting creaky and don't bounce well so prefer to be confident each stage is strongly established before moving on. I'm lucky I guess in that I enjoy the journey with them, we grow together and each horse has taught me something new during the process. Definitely worth considering, particularly because you have a few years hopefully before you want to be up and running with your new horse.
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Some of us are too old and/ or don't have the time or energy for starting from scratch. The height OP is looking for is likely to be sold on due to being outgrown so I would say there is a chance such a horse could end up on the market. A youngster is just as much of a gamble 'cause you won't know how it's going to turn out.
 
ihatework said:
They are out there for the right £, but you might have to try and kiss a few frogs before you find the right one.

I’d probably suggest trying to ride a number of different horses before going on your purchase hunt, perhaps see if there are local hacking/trail riding schools nearby. Whatever you sit on will feel very different so it would be useful to desensitise yourself to that first
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That’s a good idea, I did have some lessons last year but it was big fancy horses and I felt so uncomfortable.

My plan is to book some hacks and go on a rider confidence course.

A youngest is an option, my daughter’s instructor is local and lives on a wonderful farm that would bombproof anything! I think step 1 first and then make a decision!
 
I would put the word out among the local horse community in your area, local instructors, all the riding clubs, farriers etc.
The horse you want probably wouldn't even make it to an advert because someone would know someone who's looking.
A really nicely well rounded horse will have a well rounded owner who's done a bit with them and will know people. The current owner will probably also care quite a bit so will be looking for a nice home, not just the biggest £££, hence word of mouth rather than adverts.

The horse you want would never be as unlucky as to end up at a dealers, so rule them out.

If I had to sell mine I'd make 3 or 4 calls to well connected instructors who know him and wait.
 
I totally get where you're coming from OP. When Monty retired (and Archie to a certain extent but he was semi-retired most of his time with me!) I never thought I'd get there. It took me 14 months (including a 6 month break due to Covid) to find Charlie but he turned out not to be the right one. He was lovely and totally as advertised but we just didn't suit each other. I was dreading looking again but it took about 14 days to find Wiggy and that was waiting for him to do his assessment period at the sales livery. I spoke to the seller about him the day he arrived with her and from what she told me, I pretty much already knew he was the one. I saw him at 7am (it was on the hottest day in history - literally - so seller and I both agreed early was best) on the first morning he was available for viewings and by 8am I had bought him - subject to vetting obviously. The moment I sat on him I just felt safe and I've never stopped feeling that on him.

You just have to get out there and look. It's horrible but it's worth it when you find the one. Be totally honest with sellers about your expectations, riding and confidence levels as that will help them assess whether the horse they're selling is right for you. Don't be afraid to go unconventional with your search - try everything! I found Wig after I saw a facebook post from Sophie Seymour (I'm sure many of you follow her). She had taken 2 youngsters her sister was selling round their first two BE80s and posted about it, saying "contact my sister if you're interested in buying them". They're relatively local to me so I messaged her sister saying, "I saw Sophie's post, I don't want the youngsters but have you got something a bit older and calm for low level riding club please?" Wiggy had literally just walked off the horsebox and onto her yard as she got my message!
 
marmalade76 said:
Some of us are too old and/ or don't have the time or energy for starting from scratch. The height OP is looking for is likely to be sold on due to being outgrown so I would say there is a chance such a horse could end up on the market. A youngster is just as much of a gamble 'cause you won't know how it's going to turn out.
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Of course they all have their own personalities however a lot of how they turn out stems from the experiences they have and how they are taught. As a full time working single parent with ME I'm pretty short of both time and energy myself! Also I'm no spring chicken having been what the doctors rather insultingly called a geriatric first time mother 😂 though a few years away from drawing my pension.

Each to their own of course, taking on a youngster is not for everyone but I'm just suggesting that it might be a worthwhile consideration for the OP who mentioned that they have a couple of years before they really need a replacement to be fully up and running. Much of the work could be done by professionals if they wanted
 
alibali said:
Of course they all have their own personalities however a lot of how they turn out stems from the experiences they have and how they are taught. As a full time working single parent with ME I'm pretty short of both time and energy myself! Also I'm no spring chicken having been what the doctors rather insultingly called a geriatric first time mother 😂 though a few years away from drawing my pension.

Each to their own of course, taking on a youngster is not for everyone but I'm just suggesting that it might be a worthwhile consideration for the OP who mentioned that they have a couple of years before they really need a replacement to be fully up and running. Much of the work could be done by professionals if they wanted
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Cripes, a geriatric first time single mum with ME, a full time job and a horse? How the hell do you manage?? A vitamin D deficiency and peri nearly finished me off and I didn't even have to work at the time!
 
I say this as someone in a similar position and who has/is going the youngster route.
You have to accept that it's not going to be perfect, there are going to be bumps in the road and the new horse will not be like your old one. This is regardless of the age or level of training that the new one has had.
You're two different personalities getting to know each other and that's going to take time. But that's half the fun of it too, getting to know each other figuring out weaknesses and strengths, personalities etc.
As they say comparison is the thief of joy so go looking for new, rather than the same and you'll be fine. Also remember you are not the 'you' that you were when you got your current horse either!
 
I made my next one.

I knew Kia passing would destroy me and I knew I’d never be able to buy another grown up horse like him.

So I bought Faran as a foal and brought him up how I wanted. He’s honestly the best thing I have done with my horsey life. Kia will be up there with his know it all smugness preening that he taught me well and left his mark 🤣🤣🤣
 
You need a highland pony :) Im on my second, this one is a little smaller at 13.2 but my previous boy was 14.2. Both fabulous in every way, they can turn their hoof to all sorts. They can have their moments but the fantastic thing about them is that they do it slower and give you a chance to be ready for any niche moves. A good ridden highland wont be cheap as chips but you are paying for temperament and their wonderful stoic nature. Both of mine have also been the most incredibly loving ponies too. You sound like me, perfectly capable and knowledgeable, just not overly brave or gung ho, a highland would suit you down to the ground I think
 
My story probably isn't terribly helpful other than to maybe give you hope that 'the one' is out there. I lost my absolute heart horse 3 years ago, it was very sudden and tragic and before his time. I bought him unseen from Ireland as a 4yo and he really was Mr Perfect, every yard I kept him on he was the yard favourite and everywhere he went people fell in love with him. 🥺

I didn't even know where to start when I set out to buy another. I viewed a lot and many of them ticked a lot of my boxes, but they weren't my Mr Perfect. Then I went to view a bit of a wild-card who wasn't really what I was looking for, other than he had a cracking jump on him and was very bold and honest into a fence which were my 2 "must haves". I think I spent all of about 25 minutes viewing him as it was over 35'c that day, but by the time I'd driven home I knew in my heart I wanted to buy him.

He actually couldn't be more different to the horse I lost and wow he has challenged me every step of the way, but in a weird way I think I needed it. It means I have nothing to compare to, and the fact it hasn't been an easy journey has actually given me something to focus on. I suddenly had to step-up and become a much better and stronger rider, I had no idea what buttons to push on this horse and we had to work each other out, he had a lot of quirks that I had to learn and work through - and all that meant I had to turn up every day for him even when I didn't feel like it, and I always had things that I needed to keep working on. If I'd bought something that I 'thought' was right for me, I think I would have lost all love for it - if I'd got another Mr Perfect I would have always compared them and found the ways in which they weren't 'quite so perfect'. As it is, I love him for who he is and all the new things he has taught me.
 
Don’t get disheartened Hop on Trot and certainly don’t give up thoughts of getting riding again. Go ahead with getting your confidence riding some different horses if you can, meanwhile just keeping an eye out for the right sort and don’t restrict yourself to a very specific height.
The sort of horse or pony you ar looking for does exist, we have a horse and a pony out on long term loan, no exchange of money. We weren’t prepared to sell because we wanted to just make sure they were happy and used for the right thing once they had stopped competing. Both are perfect to handle and excellent hacks. Some people will sell, some will loan their favourites. Good luck, there is one waiting for you somewhere, they are not all silly money and badly behaved!
 
HopOnTrot said:
Im tentatively considering another horse. I’ve owned my mare for 13 years and have ridden little else. She is the quietest easiest horse, I could drag her out of retirement tomorrow and hack up the side of the motor way or go hunting and she wouldn’t bat an eyelid. I’ve clipped her lose in the field. I can trust her past any obstacle.

I am not a bold or a talented rider, I’m a happy hacker who occasionally gets notions to do a simple dressage test or a (very) small course of jumps.

How on earth to I find a new horse? I’ve looked at adverts for “happy hacks” but they all sound like they’re too broken to do anything else!

How do I find a calm sensible 14.2, that will hack on a moderately busy road. Something that must go out alone or as a nanny to small children.

Not committed to buying another yet as I don’t really want 3 but I’d like to look!
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I would recommend a New Forest pony
 
marmalade76 said:
Cripes, a geriatric first time single mum with ME, a full time job and a horse? How the hell do you manage?? A vitamin D deficiency and peri nearly finished me off and I didn't even have to work at the time!
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Denial 😂😂😂😂 It's a wonderful thing! Seriously though I sorted out my diet and gave up alcohol which helped my symptoms a lot. Also the horses are at home which a) saves me time and energy getting to them and b) allows me to set things up in as labour/time efficient way as possible. So I'm very lucky and appreciate not everyone has those advantages.
 
HopOnTrot said:
Im tentatively considering another horse. I’ve owned my mare for 13 years and have ridden little else. She is the quietest easiest horse, I could drag her out of retirement tomorrow and hack up the side of the motor way or go hunting and she wouldn’t bat an eyelid. I’ve clipped her lose in the field. I can trust her past any obstacle.

I am not a bold or a talented rider, I’m a happy hacker who occasionally gets notions to do a simple dressage test or a (very) small course of jumps.

How on earth to I find a new horse? I’ve looked at adverts for “happy hacks” but they all sound like they’re too broken to do anything else!

How do I find a calm sensible 14.2, that will hack on a moderately busy road. Something that must go out alone or as a nanny to small children.

Not committed to buying another yet as I don’t really want 3 but I’d like to look!
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I found mine at HAPPA. I’ve had him 6 yrs now (after retiring my 16.1hh homebred, trained, competed & a real super star gelding). My HAPPA pony is 14hh Welsh D gelding now 12 yrs old. I spent a long time taking things slowly & building his confidence & trust in me. He likes to investigate everything but not too close, he’s not very brave with new things however we do all sorts of fun activities like TREC as well as hacking & RC training & competitions.
 
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