mums. what do you do with childrens horses when they leave home.

debsflo

debsflo

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i still have a year to go before daughter starts looking for uni places but already worrying about her horse . i am reluctant to sell her as she will be 16 then and is a quirky sensitive mare who has had numerous homes before us . i would have to be 100 % sure re a permanant home . she struggles with changes so therefore same potentiol problem re loaning ,however i have my own horse who is perfect for me ,easy ,reliable ,safe and perfect in traffic if not ridden and dont want daughters horse as although i would happily compete her in dressage she is a pain out hacking sometimes and needs regular work . i also think when daughter goes to uni she needs to throw herself into all aspects not worry about getting home to ride and she may end up the other side of the country . i love this little horse and want to do the right thing and if she was sane and sensible would not have a problem but shes a teenagers horse,daughter loves her fizzinesss . What does everyone else do. by the way i am very responsible and she will stay unless the perfect solution appears.
 
If you are ok to keep her, but prefer not to hack her etc to keep her in work and would understandably rather not loan, can you just semi retire her and leave her out of work during term times?
 
Agree with others a sharer is a good way to go and daughter can still tune her up in the holidays. Might be wroth starting to look now whilst she's still in work with your daughter rather than waiting until she's had time off and fizzyness has peaked?
 
I assume your daughters horse isn't a competition horse which needs to be kept fit? If not I would do as someone else suggested and semi-retire her, for your daughter to ride during holidays. Thats what my mums done- I sold my competition horse cos there was no way she could be kept fit enough while I was away at uni, but kept by rising 4yo who doesn't need as much work as she isn't out competing, she gets little holidays during term time and then I ride in my very long holidays. Luckily she is good enough to get on without having done exercise for several weeks though which may be a problem for you?
I'm definitely glad my mum kept my horse for me as I found I really miss horses when I'm at uni!
 
she does pony club,sj,xc,showing and planning on doing some british dressage. she is a horse best kept in work ideally. had 6 weeks off due to snow and now we are paying the price. shes almost too good to retire and has years left plus its a lot of money to have a horse not doing anything. i may look at a sharer, put the feelers out with pony club as this could work with someone riding her regularly and we are only a couple of miles from a venue for competing. daughter would still im sure like to keep her hand in.
 
I left my horses with my parents, they then got a livery in who did my horses in exchange. It worked quite well for a couple of years, one horse got worked the other was a companion. The only issue arose when I came back, but otherwise it worked. I agree about the sharer or turning away maybe?
 
shes quite happy to hack alone or in company just needs a confident rider. think this could be ok with an understanding that holidays daughter can get involved. i know when i was younger i rode for a lady whose 3 children were at boarding school so cared for them as if they were mine but always felt a bit sad when they came home for the hols and got them back. but with the right person could be good . my other thought was to have horse on livery but think the cost and upheaval would be huge downsides really. however at this rate wont be able to afford that and uni fees anyway.
 
Don't give up on the idea of a loan home. She sounds like the ideal horse for me, but sadly I am not in a position to take a new one on at the moment. My old horse is 30 and will be kept to the end of his days. At which point I will look for another but will probably be something older, fixxy and quirky (30yr old is rescued ex polo.....) I don't have thousands to spend on buying but can offer a long term capable loving home, and I can't be the only one!
 
My daughter left her horse at home, I tried to keep him fit but found it a struggle, and she didn't get back much for competitions so we found a local teenager who hacks him out and does PC and a few competitions with him. She is happy to let my daughter ride him and do the odd show when she is home, but it doesn't happen often.
 
Am just going through this dilemma now with my daughters horse, she will be going to Uni in Oct and i am already beginning to panic, i too have my own horse who although is not as good as my daughters horse suits me fine, i have put alot of work into my horse and although the sensible thing to do would be to sell mine, i am not prepared to do it.

My daughter still wants to keep her horse and although he is a competition horse he is not fizzy (quite the contrary really he is sooo laid back).

We are looking at a sharer and also looking into my daughter taking the horse to Uni with her.

Its a nightmare and if you come up with a solution let me know....
 
You could try ringing round local riding schools, explaining your situation and emphasising that the mare needs an experienced rider, and see if they can recommend a sharer? I know that at the riding school where my horse is kept, there are some excellent young riders I'd trust on almost anything, who just haven't been able to get their own horse due to finances or unwilling parents but would leap at the chance to exercise someone else's. Good luck!
 
Older daughter was very lucky to find the perfect home for her older but still full of life boy before going to Uni. At the same time younger daughter out grew her pony, they were and still are adamant that they want to ride and compete, so they now have a horse that they share, plus the use of mine and OH's when older daughter is home so they can ride together.

Now have the problem that social lives seem to be taking precedence over the horse. OH and I have no problem with looking after and exercising their horse on the weekends that they spend with their father, but are struggling with younger daughter wanting to visit older daughter in Uni. We now seem to be expected to be a 'full livery' service. Have just delivered some tough love, if they are capable of sorting out their social lives they can sort out exercising their horse and deciding what comps they want to do.

Having serious doubts about keeping the poor horse for much longer, she has done nothing wrong, but seems last on their list of priorities. Have not considered sharing before but think it might be a good option, especially as we could offer every other weekend when the girls are away.
 
I was very upset to leave my mare behind when I went to University and I did have many sleepless nights worrying about her. She is a 16yo chestnut anglo-arab mare who thinks she is a 3 yo and needs an extremely confident rider, she also does not box and hates change (don't ask why I love her :)). But I did manage to find the perfect person to take her on loan in the end. There are plenty of people out there with jobs that would love to just have a horse on the weekend or a few days a week so I think that putting her into semi retirement with a few days of work a week would be ideal for your situation.:)
 
What does your daughter want to do regarding the horse?

In my first year at uni I didn't have my horse and I missed not having her around. They are very good at helping you get into a routine and for developing time management skills. I took her to uni when mum was struggling to care for her, the dogs and work (although she worked part time, they were 3x12 hour shifts a week involving a 90 minute commute each way). I found enough time to study, have a social life and work part time.

If daughter wanted to keep her and take her to uni would you be able to finance the horse at a livery yard wherever the daughter went to uni? I moved 500 miles away to go to uni.
 
My eldest daughters horse was taken on by another daughter who has now grown up and left home too. The horse is a part of the family and fortunately OH rides him at weekends while during the week I have several vet students who ride him and one of the others. Works out really well, they are fab, light weight riders, some of whom have their own horses back home. I didn't want a sharer this time as they've often been novices who, having gained experience, moved on and bought their own after a few months.
 
@Mahoganybay - again I think that finding some one to take the horse on loan is a good option. You can stipulate that the horse does not move far away (if off your yard at all!) and can go see the horse at any time to check on its progress and welfare. I would strongly advise against your daughter taking her horse to Uni with her. I know how strenuous degrees are and as much as it pained me to leave my beloved mare behind I now now that I would not have had the time that she deserves and my Uni work would really have suffered. If she is on loan you know that she will not be 'passed from pillar to post' and if anything happens she will always come back to you.
 
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