MUMS: Would you give up your horse to get one for your daughter?

We made the decision to have ponies for both our girls as a priority - it teaches them a sense of responsibility and gives them something to focus on other than clothes, make-up, boys etc - horses are also a brilliant leveller and there are so many important 'life-lessons' to be learnt in looking after, riding and competing ponies - and it is for a relatively short time. My feeling is that I should let my girls have the opportunities that I had as a girl and I will just have to wait a little longer until perhaps we can share horses.
 
My Mum and Dad gave up a lot for us 3 girls to have poinies. The understanding was that the first day we didnt get up and see to them was they day that they were sold. They did a lot for us, running round, taking us to shows, paying for everthing, sitting up all night with a pony with collic. But they never mucked out, or cleaned our tack. I was 11 when I got my first pony and love my parents so much for what they did.
 
It got to the satge where I was busy at school and did not want the hassle of a horse over winter and my mother only hunted. So we came to the agreement to sell both of our horses (mine was too small and the other was not eventing material) and bought one together who was capable of eventing and hunting. In fact this arrangement has worked happily for 10 years until I bought my own late 2005.
There are horses out there that will do both jobs and it has worked out to be a practical measure.
 
This is a tough question isn't it? From my own point of view I don't think I could sell the pony I have now.

When my daughter was four, I got a Fell pony that we could both share. I'm not interested in competing myself, just hacking out and enjoying being with horses. We've had our gorgeous pony for eight years now and I'm starting to realise that my daughter will need a bigger, faster and more athletic horse in the next couple of years.

I discussed the prospect of selling one day, but my daughter wants us to keep the pony for life. In truth I'm not sure if I could part with him unless I absolutely had to.

I have yet to solve the problem of how to finance two equines! This wouldn't be an easy thing for me to achieve....
 
It's not too much of an issue for me at the min cause my daughter is only 2 so only needs a cheap pony that can live out to learn on so I can manage that (with help from my own mum - lol) but may become an issue if she gets into riding and then wants to compete etc etc. Plus if I gave up mine and got her one then she quit, how devastated would I be? I know thats selfish, but I probably would give up one of them for her to have a good pony. Will just wait see what happens, she might decide she doesn't like it (crosses fingers).
 
Would I give up my horse for my daughter?Yes have done this already.My daughter has been involved with horses since she was 4 (now 15) and is very competitive.Between working and taking daughter to shows I didn't have much time to ride anyway so was logical thing to do.Daughter now onto horses.
Personally am glad we went down this route as she has had heaps of fun and its taught her heaps.We have had heaps of fun too - proud mummy moments when she won/did well in classes!
Saying this I also think you shouldn't feel guilty if you choose to keep your horses.If your daughter is happy riding your horse then fine,My daughter wanted to compete BSJA so needed ponies.
I don't know how tall your daughter is but my daughter could really have moved onto horses easily enough when she was 13.
Hope you find a happy outcome.
 
I had a super Welsh Cob who I'd broken and trained myself, started being successful in Novice dressage comps and shown at County level who had to go on the back burner when the kids came along.
He was used by me for occasional hacking but in reality was wasted, my then 10 year old son asked to try him, he adored him and PC and hunted him for two years, then his twin (smaller) brother took him over, enjoyed tetrathlon with him, then CCj had him from aged around 10 and had temendous fun and lots of success.
It was only as he showed his ability jumping we realised he would have evented or BSJA'd just as well had we realised it..
Now aged 25 he is retired but occasionally dragged in for somone to have a play on, he retains his sense of fun (and can buck) but is fit and well.
I am in a different position to you as lots of land, but probably in your circumstances I would change horses and get one both of you could ride.
There are some amazing schoolmasters out there, a friend has been introduced to BE by a sensible 19 year old schoolmaster and perhaps that would be the way to go, get another on loan.
 
Personally I would keep it all as it is now-with your horse it would be terribly upsetting for both of you to be seperated as such a strong bond has been formed.
Your daughter is only 11-it maybe that she will continue to want to ride all her life, but at the moment she's at an age when suddenly boys, a social life and friends become very important-many of my 'horsey' friends when we were all 11 lost interest around the 11/12/13/14 age mark and have never ridden since having at 11 ect. been absolutely horse crazy. One friend in particular was brought a lovely pony which once she lost interest was suddenly a burden on her parents to re-sell (they were non-horsey so slightly different to your case, but the strain of selling a pony no longer wanted is not fun!)
The 15hh pony sounds lovely, and from what I can gather huntable, and I take it your daughter has fun on it-I know its a shame that she isn't fun schooling, but I do believe the pros outweight the cons here and this isn't an arrangement you want to throw away with the pony's owner. Then prehaps in few years time/years time you will be able to gage whether your daughter is truly keen and think about upgrading then.
I do feel that selling your horse would really break your heart, and yes while you would do anything for your daughter, I do feel that rushing into selling yours and buying another is not the right thing to do right now.
 
Not read all of the replies so I amy be echoing here???


I would only do this if your daughter is the one urging you. If she is VERY interested and excited about going further it would be a wonderful and noble thing for a parent to do.

Is her passion greater (or AS great) than yours? Do you think she would appreciate this gesture and understand the sacrifice enough to make the most of it? It sounds like perhaps she may not be pushing the idea. Maybe she is perfectly happy having fun on the little hacker. Maybe that is all she wants to do with horses. That is how I was as a kid. I was allowed the opportunity to do alot of showing but only found the true joy in days on the trail. To this day I do not show and simply hack my horses.

another thought....Your daughter is 11 right? she is getting older, do you think it is an option for you and daughter to share a horse...perhaps even the one you already have?
best of luck and let us know how it all turns out!
smile.gif


xJade
 
As a mother I would and have in the past given up my horses for my childrens. No contest!! I would assume that most mothers have done the same certainly the majority that I know have.

My children had so much fun going through pony club, got so much experience, of life not just horses and tried so many things.

I thoroughly enjoyed taking them to rallies, helping at camp etc so I didnt miss out at all either. I dont think I would have had the time to do my own horse as well although when they were bigger I did work horses for them on occasion.

They have now finished and I have my own horse again but I still miss their pony club days and wouldnt have missed them for the world.
 
Thank you for all these replies - very varied answers but all very good points.

I think I may have jumped the gun a bit here and when I said to my daughter would you like a nice little pony she replied "But I love Trixie" (the 15hh). I asked her if she wished she could do more and yes she admitted she did but not enough to see either of our two lovely mares go, she was shocked at the suggestion that I gave back mine and bought her something.

I have agonised over this for some time but have definately decided that we will keep the status quo for now and as many have pointed out - already she is above my shoulder - and I am sure in a just a couple of years she would be able to ride mine anyway.
 
As a child, I asked for a horse all the time. However, I was never given one. I was told that if I wanted one, I would have to pay for it and the upkeep myself. Of course this was a great dissapointment to me. If your daughter really wants a new pony, I think you should get her one, but perhaps have her help take care of it. It sounds like you do most of the taking care of the horses right now. If your daughter is happy with her current pony, then I think you should keep things as is. Perhaps you need to sit your daughter down and have a discussion about whether or not she wants a new pony.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top