Mumsnet thread. what do you all think?

M

minkymoo

Well-Known Member
Joined
5 July 2007
Messages
1,852
Location
Beautiful Hampshire
Visit site
So I saw this post on mumsnet (ok, ok, I pop in there sometimes!) and saw this thread: http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_be...-was-rude-want-to-say-something-to-her-mother

And I can't help but feel the op is a bit right. Maybe not the bit about the dirty look, but I do feel as riders we have a responsibility to do a bit of PR and not come across as rude and entitled.

What do you think? Is the Op a loon or a bit right?
 
A bit right in my opinion. I also don't like to take my hands of the reins but always smile and mouth thank you. Too many riders totally ignore drivers who slow which I think could make them less likely to make an effort
 
While I agree it is polite to thank drivers and I always do so, I do get annoyed by cyclists, joggers walkers etc who I also often slow down for but rarely thank me. Why is it just riders that are expected to be polite?
 
Whilst personally I'm always over-polite I get a bit sick of having to be so grateful for people not running me over, following what is set out in the highway code and not driving like bum-holes.
 
selinas spirit said:
While I agree it is polite to thank drivers and I always do so, I do get annoyed by cyclists, joggers walkers etc who I also often slow down for but rarely thank me. Why is it just riders that are expected to be polite?
Click to expand...

This is my views as well, no cyclists ever thank me and they hold me up far longer then any horse riders do on the roads but I agree its only horse owners who are expected to thank every single car.
 
selinas spirit said:
While I agree it is polite to thank drivers and I always do so, I do get annoyed by cyclists, joggers walkers etc who I also often slow down for but rarely thank me. Why is it just riders that are expected to be polite?
Click to expand...

I would think that cyclists, walkers etc don't expect cars to slow for them. Let's be honest, when was the last time a bike 'spooked' at a car. They just want people to give them enough space as they pass so they are not pushed into the hedge (the same amount of space you would give a car if you were overtaking)
 
I do think she is right, as in the fact that if us riders don't thank or acknowledge those that do take the time and effort to slow they may not be so happy to do it again.

This a pet hate of mine when riders/runners/cyclists/dog walks etc dont acknowledge as I drive past, I appreciate in some situations this is not possible but while riding on the buckle one handed two abreast chatting a nod of the head a wave or smile even wouldn't be to hard.

But I guess this shows the society we live in as people just seem to show so little respect/care for others around.
 
I am all for good manners and thanking people but I really find it mad that anybody thinks they have a right to stop and tell a stranger what they should do .
Talk about controlling .
 
In principle, she's right, but we don't know these exact circumstances. I wave and smile at EVERYONE on the basis it's good PR, unless they're too close and too fast, in which case they get a stony look. It's likely this girl was just rude or unthinking, or the horse may have been difficult, or maybe the driver wasn't as careful as she thought she was being.

I'm a cyclist as well. I went out with a friend the other day; he said it was obvious I rode horses as well because I thanked everyone - but I agree with the poster above; my bike won't spook so I don't expect drivers to give me the same wide berth as they would on a horse!
 
little_critter said:
I would think that cyclists, walkers etc don't expect cars to slow for them. Let's be honest, when was the last time a bike 'spooked' at a car. They just want people to give them enough space as they pass so they are not pushed into the hedge (the same amount of space you would give a car if you were overtaking)
Click to expand...

When I am walking on the roads I expect other traffic to slow and give me space when they pass me and I always nod a thanks at the very least (whether on horse or foot) when I am road walking it is more intimidating when traffic flies past close than it is when I am up a it higher on horse back
 
I always make a point of saying a big thank you. Manners cost nothing.
I sat behind a horse rider txting today, she eventually realised I was there and waved me past, her other hand was juggling her reins and her phone which she nearly dropped when her horse pulled forward then swung its butt towards my car. I waited for her to regain control then passed and was greeted with a lovely filthy look, sigh.
 
I agree and feel that it's good PR though. I'm on the understanding from the thread that the OP is a rider so I'm pretty sure that had the horse been difficult the outcome would have been different. It could well be she's a stroppy teenager or to quote a MNer, busy itching her bum!!!

I always thank people, like a PP, unless they've passed too fast and/or close everyone gets a wave, nod or a thankyou, usually a combination of all 3!
 
Some people need to get a life... If that's their idea of awful behaviour they want to join the real world...

Today I came across a rider having a nightmare ride, horse was spooking at everything... I stopped and turned off my engine whilst he got it moving forward... He finally got it moving at a spanking trot and did he stop to thank me... Or did he just keep riding his horse forward?? Answers on a post card ...
 
Sussexbythesea said:
Whilst personally I'm always over-polite I get a bit sick of having to be so grateful for people not running me over, following what is set out in the highway code and not driving like bum-holes.
Click to expand...

This! When I'm driving and meet horses on the road I always slow right down and pass wide mainly because I don't want a horse sat on my bonnet. If I'm thanked for doing so, that's nice, if not, so be it.

What I don't like is when riders try to wave me past when I can't see what's round the corner and then get annoyed if I don't rely on their judgment. I'll decide when it's safe to pass thanks and if you don't like me driving behind you, pull in to one of the numerous side streets we've just passed.

I do always thank other road users though, whether I'm driving or riding.
 
If you slowed down flashed your lights and let her through when you had right of way then I would expect a thankyou, the bus driver last week got a thumbs up, but to be honest when I'm riding down the main road with my youngster most drivers are passed me before I can do anything and that's if I can take my hands from the reins, and If I had right of way in the first place I wouldnt thank the other driver for doing exactly what they should have done in the first place! I have been known btznbobs to smile manically at people when this has happened, just in the off chance that they are looking at how grateful I am that they've stopped, because I once had a load of superbikes descend on me during a ride and the horse I was on had a bit of a melt down at the sound of the aftermarket exhausts, I raised my hand to thank them for slowing down, and wooosh off up the verge I went, which caused all 7 of them to stop dead on the road, so I wot be doing that again if needed!
 
I don't think I would judge someone based on a 'dirty look'. For all we know, she could have been squinting at the sun, had a sudden pain that made her grimace or have just thought of something awful which did the same thing. Riders who don't say thank you annoy me, but equally so does constantly having to be grateful for cars slowing down when it should just happen.
 
I do not understand why people get so excited about other road users thanking them for obeying the law. Motorists are legally required to give horses space and pass only when safe to do so. Ditto passing cyclists and pedestrians. If I pass a "hoodie" in the street I do not thank them for not mugging me.

When driving a car or tractor, if I let another motorist through a gap, I do not even look at them as I do not care whether they thank me or not and hope it discourages them for doing so in the future. I remember a comedian on TV once commenting on how when executing a difficult steering manoeuvre around parked cars, the convention is to thank the other driver by doing this intricate operation one handed, looking somewhere else and waving. Its insane when you put it like that!
 
There are an awful lot of people who dislike riders on principle, as we are literally "looking down" on them - I am not joking - hence it is always a good idea to be polite and friendly just for the good image of the riding population.
 
I love the comment which says "maybe she just has resting b***ch face" :D lol!

I have to say, I always thank drivers for slowing down. Good manners cost nothing. And I always note in my head whether a rider thanks me or not for slowing. But if they don't I just think "well, they didn't thank me" and then go about my day.
 
Last edited:
1. Could driver talking on hands free phone have appeared to rider to be speaking or shouting something at her, Hence riders 'dirty look'?
2. Generally agree that manners cost nothing but driver didn't do anything particularly above and beyond sensible driving.
3. If all driver has got to worry about is tracking down parents of a scowling teenager then she's a lucky woman!
 
I haven't read all the replies, however just wanted to add my experience.
I have to say that every single rider and horse I have encountered whilst driving have been polite and respectful to other road users, made away at the first opportunity with a smile and a thank you!
Cyclists on the other hand - why oh why do they have such an attitude problem! In response to one poster who said you do t have to slow down for a cyclist - well, yes, you do. Unless you are on a duel carriage way with plenty of room. I've encountered rude, aggressive cyclists riding two abreast, or clearly having the opportunity to let cars past but choose not to, ones that think red lights or give way don't mean anything, and doing absolutely stupid things at junctions. It just makes me laugh that I never seem to hear anything about cyclists but lots of negatives towards riders. The amount of barely visible cyclists late at night too! Unbelievable.
 
Sussexbythesea said:
Whilst personally I'm always over-polite I get a bit sick of having to be so grateful for people not running me over, following what is set out in the highway code and not driving like bum-holes.
Click to expand...

Agree with this. Im quite lucky that where I keep my boy i have access to miles of off road hacking straight off the yard, without needing to set foot on a road. If I do ride on the road however its a very busy main road. Id be dizzy as hell if I nodded to every driver that passed.
I do try and say thank you as much as possible but its just impractical to thank every car.
Also the OP in that post sounds a right drama queen. Selling the kids horse because of a look.....really!!?!
 
When I was 13, in my first week of high school, one of the older girls punched me for 'throwing a dirty look' at her younger sister in class. I was ill and had been trying not to vomit at the time - to this day I don't even know who her sister was. She left me with a black eye and a determination never to send my kids to a rough school.

The OP in the mumsnet article is obviously self-absorbed. The rider probably hadn't even noticed her.
 
pennyturner said:
When I was 13, in my first week of high school, one of the older girls punched me for 'throwing a dirty look' at her younger sister in class. I was ill and had been trying not to vomit at the time - to this day I don't even know who her sister was. She left me with a black eye and a determination never to send my kids to a rough school.

The OP in the mumsnet article is obviously self-absorbed. The rider probably hadn't even noticed her.
Click to expand...

Oh this happened to me too. I think I daydreamed a lot as a kid...

Have you seen the link on the mumsnet thread to 'resting b***hy face* - hysterical. (scroll down on the thread to find it).

Personally I think there are better things to lose sleep over, like the driver spending more time concentrating on the girl's face than watching the road!
 
It's actually one of my biggest bugbears. Even if you can't take your hands of the reins, a nod of the head and a smile goes a long way.

However, I won't thank someone who does not slow down, or who comes up behind me and sits inches off my horses hind legs until they can see round a corner.
 
Sussexbythesea said:
Whilst personally I'm always over-polite I get a bit sick of having to be so grateful for people not running me over, following what is set out in the highway code and not driving like bum-holes.
Click to expand...

Agree with this massively.

However I can't believe a grown adult would waste any more than a few seconds of their time worrying about a 'dirty look' from a teenager....sad indeed!
 
She says on the thread that she already thought the teen was rude, I think maybe there is some history and this woman wanted to be offended.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top