My b****** of a father!!

YY but then it isn't a gift is it?? Its a loan......
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No i have several horses. By debts, i meant private schooling! hence, i must feel grateful for the fact that he has paid for a decent education for me. I can afford my horses, i struggled a few years ago, yes, but i am there abouts ok now. I've just had a huge vets bill which has thrown me a bit but thats horses i guess! I will get on with life and get to grips with the fact that my horse is now my fathers.
 
Apologies in advance if this sounds like a self righteous post - it is not meant to I am just trying to illustrate something....

I have a horrendously complicated family life and don't have anything to do with my Dad at all - he has a new family and a daughter that he bought a horse, trailer and 4x4 for but has never even bought me a bday card!!!!! I financed myself entirely through university (the rest of my family had moved abroad) I did a 4 year degree and a year at law school. I then went backpacking around the world for a year. I am now working as a trainee on a rubbish wage and have a mountain of debt but saved up every spare penny from part time work for TEN YEARS to buy the love of my life and all my wages after rent and student loans and other student debt goes towards keeping my horse which I have to keep over 40mins away as I live/work in London and can't afford London Livery. I have never ever accepted handouts (or been offered them incidently
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) from any member of my family and however hard it is (and sometimes it is so SO incredibly hard) when I go to my horse and get to give him a big hug I realise I am the luckiest person alive. So, I don't want to judge you but it seems that having your Dad pay your bills is your priority. If all you are going to do is sell the mare then you may as well leave her with your Dad where she is settled and (hopefully) being looked after. Otherwise if you want her then fight for her regardless of how ugly it gets with your Dad.

So, apologies if that doesn't seem relevant but just wanted you to realise you are not the only one with debt family problems but you have to work out what your priorities are and what you actually want the outcome to be and make it happen!
 
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No i have several horses. By debts, i meant private schooling! hence, i must feel grateful for the fact that he has paid for a decent education for me. I can afford my horses, i struggled a few years ago, yes, but i am there abouts ok now. I've just had a huge vets bill which has thrown me a bit but thats horses i guess! I will get on with life and get to grips with the fact that my horse is now my fathers.

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Good plan, very sensible. If I were you I'd try to keep on good terms with your dad and civil terms with his GF.
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i was thinking more like trisha .................
i feel sorry for your dad , man i wish mine was alive just to talk to let alone screw him for loads of money !!!!!!!!!! grow up for god sake you sound like a spoilt brat

your dad is doing you a favour i feel this is not the whole story
but i bet you a million pounds your dads story is differnt !!!!!!!!!!!

lets face it if you had been on here for the last yr upset trying to get her back we would be behind you but it just seems now you want her back and GUESS WHAT daddy says NO!!!
 
first of all can you use some paragraphs that was really hard going!!

IMHO, you sound like you need to grow up, you are not interested in the welfare of the horse and certainly dont sound like you can afford to pay for one.

Whilst your dads GF may be a moo, it does sound like she is working on the yard and that you are insanely jealous, why shouldnt your dad have a life.

Dad has bailed you out for years, stand up and get independant, take the horse back and sell it if you believe it is yours.

Any true horse lover who valued their horse and couldnt bear to be without it, would have found a way to take it back and pay for it, simple.

Start being an adult if you want to be respected as one.

Sorry this is harsh but its only my own opinion which you can choose to ignore!
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Was just thinking, in the eyes of the law would the horse not be seen as the dads? She hasnt seen the horse in a year, paid nothing towards it keep, its all been her dad.

I couldnt go a year without seeing my babies, i couldnt go a week without seeing them!

Her dad has paid for so much, yet she seems to want more!!!

No offence but sounds like a troll to me.
 
I'm sure most people don't see being given a private education as an ongoing debt do they? Thats your parents investment in you,surely.....???
I'm getting more confused by the minute!
 
I think it is best for you to move on. Your father should be your father for life, it is his loss.
Stand on your own feet and know you have worked for what you get. I wish you lots of luck.Hold no grudges ,just enjoy your life, one day he will probably regret it, if he doesn't ,it is his loss ,as I said
 
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No i have several horses. By debts, i meant private schooling! hence, i must feel grateful for the fact that he has paid for a decent education for me. I can afford my horses, i struggled a few years ago, yes, but i am there abouts ok now. I've just had a huge vets bill which has thrown me a bit but thats horses i guess! I will get on with life and get to grips with the fact that my horse is now my fathers.

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Sounds like a plan, if you are considering getting sharers for the horses you currently have, then an additional horse would not be helpful
 
I just realised you are the girl (lady?) who also has issues with her OH and his children.

I think that the mare belongs to your father, and I'm surprised you didn't try to go and get her back before now. I also agree with Tia, Spaniel and FMM.
 
Oh and also in the eyes of the law the horse would probably be deemed to be your fathers. Firstly he bought it! Secondly you apparently have not paid a penny for it for over a year so if you add up the going rate for full livery x the amount of weeks the horse has been looked after without you paying then there could be a kind of charge (think they call it a lien) arisen over the horse which means they have the right to keep her until you pay the debt - or maybe even the right sell her to satisfy the debt (pretty much like a mortgage over your house - if you don't pay they can repossess and sell to satisfy monies owed). Just my thoughts off the top of my head anyway!
 
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CLEAR IT UP THEN ..... TAKE 5 MINS AND EXPLAIN

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Why do some people have to shout ?? We don't know the full story, calm down!
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My father and I don't have a close relationship at all. He left my mother when i was a child and it went wrong from there. My mother/family/friends begged me not to take the mare back as she knew it would blow everything up and i would have my father round my house while i'm at work trying to take her back which is not far on the mare to be pushed about everywhere. I tried several times to ask to see her for an hour or two and my answer was simply 'no way'. I was absolutely gutted! He then about 3 months after sent me a txt saying 'he had sold the horse' (when he hadnt). I cried for months and i still cry about it now as i had such a bond with the mare and i loved/love her to bits! but i know i would never see my father again if i took the horse back as that is what my father is like - being in that situation - horse or dad?! it's a tough one! People dont criticise me, i am not a spoilt child at all. I love all my horses and they never go without anything! The only reason he helped me out with my field rent was because he felt guilty of the fact he had gone behind my back (so he told my brother)
 
ej -actually didnt mean to shout whoops ..... caps got stuck te he
i honestly hope she sorts this out as you only get one dad even if he did nick your horse te he
 
If he really would make you choose between him and the mare then because of that alone it had to be the mare.
As it happens I think you have to accept that the mare is now his and move on.
 
Well we don't know the complications of your relationship with your family (and they can be heartbreaking) so I personally think it's harsh to react like a lot of the other posters. JMO though. Its very easy to be judgemental.

But back to the reason of your post, I think you have lost your mare to him. GL
 
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