My Beloved mare Bailey is now at Peace

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andieash

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After so much sole searching the past week and posting a help plee on forum (which I had so many replies from, so many kind words and words of advice to help me..thank you)
I also spoke with a few friends that have known Bailey and what she has been through the last two years, chemo therapy, swellings, absesses, cracked hooves, general lumps and bumps, mastitis and infections and not least suspect tumour on ovaries.(no real imune system left after chemo)
I finally came to a decision on Monday this week to have her PTS to end her suffering and allow her to go whilst not in too much pain, relatively happy and above all not scared..

I spent the day with her, fed her everything she loves, apples polo's carrotts, special big 'last meal' all heartbreaking to do but she enjoyed them all. She got to run around for a bit in the menage too which has left me with lovely memories.
When the time came around 5pm we let her go, it was very quick and I know she would not have felt a thing, this was the most dignified thing we had left to offer her. I held her with my daughter (who totally understood in the end after not wanting this to be done. When she really looked at her properly to see how ill she really was) til almost the last moment where my husband took over so she was always with someone she knew and that cared for her totally.

I was told 'you would know when the time is right' and you really do, I just found it so hard to face but now I am certain it was the right thing to do and if anything we gave her a further 2 years of life rather than taking her life early, most would not have tried all the treatment we did for the very aggressive sarcoids that invaded her body, we knew she would not be cured but wanted to try for more time anyway, I am glad we did but also glad she will not deteriorate any further now

All my love goes to my proud, brave,beautiful Mare Bailey who will never ever be forgotten xx
 
So sorry to hear of another HHO leaving us.

Rest in peace Bailey. And all my thoughts are with you Andie (((( )))
 
Im so sorry hun, am now sat at my desk at work with swelled eyes.! thats so so sad but you did the right thing and she must have known how much she was loved before she galloped away to the medows.
Chin up and try to smile when you think or her
 
oh andie after reading your post on my post - hardest decision ever' I am completely understanding of your reasons to have your brave mare pts, strange that we both put posts up over weekend about our dear friends and that we both made the decision on the same day....maybe they are up there together having a chat about us...lol.....I am soo sorry also of your loss and i know you fought long and hard to give her the best possible chance, as did i with my boy but you are also right when you say you just know the right time....i also felt this but at least they both had someone who loved them around at their last moments....
My thoughts and love go to you also Andie and you have been very brave!!!
Remember the good times you all had with her.
I am still struggling at the moment to come to terms but i'm a great believer that time is a great healer.

Love to you all and hugs
xx
 
So sorry to hear about your loss. i had read one of your previous posts. i too lost my beautiful horse yesterday after a lot of soul searching. He needed an operation that he was highly unlikely to recover from and i couldn't put him through anymore pain.
Nothing can prepare you for the feeling of loss after so my thoughts are with you. Its uch a horrible time. I'm not sure how you get over it but i suppose we have to just take each day as it comes and remember all the years we had together.
 
Time is a healer and youll find that the first week after they have gone all you feel is emptyness and anger that they had to go but then after that when you think of them youll smile and laugh and if your like me you end up telling everyone random stories like I do and am sure they get annoyed at them lol.Oh and youll talk about them like they are in the field grazing away which they are just not on ground level.
My friends little boy ask his mumu where my boy had gone a month ago and she said that he had been poorly and died and being only 6 said its ok mummy hes gone to heaven with our dog hasnt he
Then yesterday my other friend 2YO came up the yard to drop me off to do my new horse and said mummy can we go see Tango (my new horse) and she said ok and then she yelled what about Chance! I had to explain that he was holiday and she said shed see him when hes back.
Its heart breaking but it makes you smile beacuse you realise how much of an impact they had on other people
And sorry I have gone on.
It will get eaiser I promiss. even now am crying lol
 
I really hope one day to be able to speak about him without floods of tears. I like the thought of pretending hes still grazing in the field :-) but a big field he can gallop about in because his legs are all working again.
Thanks for your words - they make a lot of sense
x
 
of course all his legs are working again, in this medow any thing is possible, I told my firends lil boy that in the sky there is a hug medow full of animals and they can all gallop about and have fun, and there is a little old lady like the one from looney tunes who has tweetie pie who lives in a cottage in the medow and she give them all cuddles and stuff. (am off again lol) and she has hanging baskets and some of the horses like to eat them lol.
Its fun to make believe try it next time someone asks you where your boy is.
Im lucky though (well as lucky as i can be) I have my boy in a box beside my bed so atleast I got him back and my new horse is in his stable and he still feels like hes there
where they are now theyre forever injury free xxxx
 
Andie my heart goes out to you.You have put your horses well being before your own heartbreak and for that you should be so proud of youself.It is heartbreaking having to come to that decision and i know you were battling with your head over heart feelings.Bailey was such a lucky horse to have you to look out for her.Sweet dreams Bailey and huge hugs to you and your family.xx
 
RIP Bailey and huge hugs for you. You have been so brave and sounds like she had a fantastic final day being spoilt and loved. A proper send off for a much loved lady. She is at peace now.
 
I would just like to thank you and every one else for their kind words in this hard time. It's surreal really discussing this like this as I am new to forum, I went on there in desperation as was so confused, but it really has helped to see so many others (unfortunate as it is) in the same position or with first hand experience.

I know things will get better but cry every time I think of her, having said that I have already laughed a little when thinking of the silly things she would do.. and the situations she got herself into at times lol

I will never forget her as anyone else in the same situation now or previous will feel about their beloved horses but get comfort in thinking she is now with some of her friends that have passed on before and also hopefully my dad who died nearly 4 years ago, he was always good with horses but rode like a sack of potatoes, I bet they are galloping around the fields in the sky now looking a right sight lol

We all need to keep smiling and enjoy life the best we can

All the best to everyone, from a converted H&H Forum member
Andie
 
All my thoughts are with you. I have lost two and in time you will smile and the pain will ease. Be brave. There are a lot of happy horses up there together. It is what they leave behind which is the hardest to deal with. xxxx
 
I am sorry that you had to make the decision but glad you were able to make it for Bailey. She will never have any more pain and will be in a huge field somewhere with my big grey boy and all the other HHO horses who have passed on.
 
So sorry to read this but you know when you have made the right decision.

It made me cry a little.

There have been a few gone to the bridge this week.

((hugs)) to you and your daughter.
RIP Bailey.
 
I know this is really long and will probably make everyone cry (I do everytime I read it and I haven't lost mine!) but I thought it might just bring a smile to your face

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they each miss someone very special, someone who was left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly, he breaks from the group, flying over the green grass, faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into those trusting eyes, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart. Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together...
 
My boy's old owner sent me that on facebook the other day and yes it did make me cry very very much....!!!
such a lovely way of thinking....and i hope it will be true one day.
 
RIP Bailey who had a caring and loving owner who put your needs above her own.

You are very brave.

My thoughts are with you x
 
If It Should Be


If it should be I grow frail and weak,
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you should do what must be done
For this last battle can’t be won.

You will be sad - I - understand
Don’t let your grieve then stay your hand,
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love and friendship stand the test.

We've had so many happy years
What is to come will hold no fears,
You'd not want me to suffer, so
When the time comes - please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend,
Only stay with me to till the end,
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you too will see,
It is a kindness you do for me
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Do not grieve that it should be you
Who has decided this thing to do
We've been so close - we two-these years
Don’t let your heart hold any tears.
 
OMG...that sooo made me ball my eyes out, I imagined my boy saying those things and it also made me smile to know it was what he wanted through the thick of things....why be selfish to these gorgeous animals!!
Lovely poem!!!
xx
 
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