My Embarrassing Show Experience: What should I do?

[L123]

Hi, I'm a 19 year old male Showjumper from Australia. I jump 1.10 and the show season has just started. Recently I've just come back to competing in shows as I broke my arm in July last year. I was competing in my first show on the weekend, and I was really nervous about showing and jumping again. During my first round, my horse spooked at the Oxer and I fell off. I don't know why but when I got back up of the ground I wet my breeches. Everyone saw and I felt extremely ashamed and embarrassed and I don't know if I should keep showing ever again. What should I do?

 

[wkiwi]

Surprisingly enough, this is not uncommon for females - but not often talked about. All it takes is a tweak of relaxation of the bladder muscle and there you go: wet pants! Nothing at all to be ashamed about it is not something that can be avoided. A friend of mine had it happen when she got off to open a gate on an endurance ride, and had to ride for miles home with wet knickers - it never happened to her again though if that is any reassurance.
I really hope this doesn't put you off showing and jumping, you will probably find that most people didn't notice. If you do get a bit of teasing it should all be in good fun and if its not then that is because some people are nasty anyway. Would you be mean if it happened to another rider?
I would think up a good retort for any comment (e.g. "well, I saw your face and it was such a shock that these things happen - you even scared my horse into spooking too!") and just go out and start having fun again.
Perhaps there is a guy out there it has happened to who could also post for moral support.

 

[L123]

Thanks for replying! I think it was more the fact that I was scared! I've always had trouble with these things, I couldn't control my pee until I was 7. I'm just more concerned about who saw, even the way I put my hands over my crotch and "tried" to stop it! Being a male rider, I love what I do and I get my kicks from riding, so i would hate for this to ruin that.

 

[AceAmara]

very common in women who have had children or ‘of a certain age’ but in a young man or woman of 19 I think a visit to your Dr wouldn’t go amiss. Not that there is anything wrong but if you have a slightly weak or sensitive bladder then there are really loads of surprisingly simple things that can be done to help, so Ive heard. Good luck

 

[tallyho!]

Anyone seeing that would have been in complete sympathy if not empathy with you... We have all been there.

And hey... At least you didn't **** yourself!

 

[FfionWinnie]

I expect most people didn't actually realise and hopefully those who did will be too polite to mention it.

 

[L123]

Unfortunately They did! Everyone around was laughing. I like to wear my breeches snug so it didn't help! I actually admit I was so embarrassed I started to cry. I don't know if I'll be able to show publicly again.

 

[rosiesowner]

And hey... At least you didn't **** yourself!

Precisely, tallyho! OP, if you let this stop you from going back out and showing then people will wonder where you are and may just assume it's because you're embarassed...

If it helps any, I'm sure many female riders here can relate to the embarrassment of stains on cream or white breeches during that time of the month. Sometimes it happens, but you just have to hold your head up high and keep on going! They will have forgotten about it within a few weeks

 

[Damnation]

very common in women who have had children or ‘of a certain age’ but in a young man or woman of 19 I think a visit to your Dr wouldn’t go amiss. Not that there is anything wrong but if you have a slightly weak or sensitive bladder then there are really loads of surprisingly simple things that can be done to help, so Ive heard. Good luck

Totally agree!

Anyone seeing that would have been in complete sympathy if not empathy with you... We have all been there.

And hey... At least you didn't **** yourself!

This made me LOL and it is a very valid point!

Precisely, tallyho! OP, if you let this stop you from going back out and showing then people will wonder where you are and may just assume it's because you're embarassed...

If it helps any, I'm sure many female riders here can relate to the embarrassment of stains on cream or white breeches during that time of the month. Sometimes it happens, but you just have to hold your head up high and keep on going! They will have forgotten about it within a few weeks

Don't worry OP - it will be last weeks news soon! I for one wouldn't hold it against someone, when I rode I used to suffer terribly from nerves!

 

[acorn92x]

OP, I really feel for you. A very unfortunate thing to happen but I know people who have had similar things happen to them (Ladies of a certain age and also at that time of the month - my friend was so embarrassed when a ring steward brought it to her attention when the judge had pulled them into line but it was kind of her to do so to be fair). People are unfortunately very cruel and it was very nasty of them to laugh at you as these things cannot be helped - hold your head up high and get back out there; when you go and win your next class, that will give them all something to talk about I guarantee you that most of these people will not even remember come the next time you show!

I would also second a trip to the doctors just to see whether they can advise whether there is anything that can be done to help (And there is LOADS which you should be able to do which can help) don't worry and don't be embarrassed - these things happen!

 

[muddy_grey]

Poor you, but don't worry too much. Everyone will have forgotten about it in no time. As for the nerves I know people who use Bach Rescue Remedy to help settle them and really rate it. Might be worth a try. In the mean time I would say try dropping down in height so that you go in knowing you can do it. I once drop a piece of chocolate while at a show and you can guess where it ended up! God knows what people must have thought when I was jumping my round

 

[L123]

Hi, thanks for your reply. I'm penciled in for the doctors in the morning. As I flew headfirst over the jump I think it may have been embarrassment and the fact that I was scared, but I'm not sure as it just happened and i lost control for that moment in that split second. The chocolate sounds horrible, I feel sorry for you! Having a pee stain across your thight breeches didn't help at all though, the comments that I got walking back! Someone said to me "You'll have to wear a pull up underneath your breeches"

 

[acorn92x]

Hi, thanks for your reply. I'm penciled in for the doctors in the morning. As I flew headfirst over the jump I think it may have been embarrassment and the fact that I was scared, but I'm not sure as it just happened and i lost control for that moment in that split second. The chocolate sounds horrible, I feel sorry for you! Having a pee stain across your thight breeches didn't help at all though, the comments that I got walking back! Someone said to me "You'll have to wear a pull up underneath your breeches"

Am glad you've got a doctors appointment I hope everything goes okay! I really do feel for you! It must have been really horrible don't let nasty people like that get to you, these things happen and they've happened to a lot of people! I hope you get on okay

 

[L123]

So, I went for a checkup. Turns out I have Stess Inconticence. It's not the worst thing in the world but the doctor explained to me what it is and basically I loose control of my pee when I'm stressed. I didn't even know it existed! He recommended that I trial wearing a nappy or something like that when I'm riding because it's a high stress situation. Not sure what I should do? 😁 I really don't know how well that would go under full seat breeches

 

[tallyho!]

Just remember to pop to the loo "just in case" just before your round!

Adrenaline causes your kidneys to excrete more waste water, it's completely natural.

How many times have you heard whistling in a bush out hunting? Some people have to go more than others.

Now, I'm not saying hop off at fence 4 for a quick whistle but... you have to manage best you can. Us incontinent older ladies have to.

Why not get a TENA pad? Whilst protecting you against life's little oopsies, it'll look like you're hung like a donkey

 

[AceAmara]

hmmmmmm.... erm stress incontinence is actually nothing to do with being psychologically stressed and I am very surprised your GP recommended trialling wearing a nappy? Is this genuine ? Really?

I suggest you go back to another Dr who will properly explain to you what stress incontinence actually is, which if you do have would still be rare and in an otherwise healthy male 19 year old so would be asking for further investigations and treatment! Is IS treatable!!

 

[star]

hmmmmmm.... erm stress incontinence is actually nothing to do with being psychologically stressed and I am very surprised your GP recommended trialling wearing a nappy? Is this genuine ? Really?

My thoughts exactly! I can't believe everyone is taking this post seriously! I mean come on - I am pissing my pants reading it! Wind up!!!

 

[L123]

That is interesting, actually it might be a good idea to go and see a propper urologist! He didn't say for all time time, he just said for during the round. I don't like the idea of it either and I'm not going to do it because I'm not Incontient. Can I just add the practice Was super busy and the apointment only lasted 10 minutes so probably a good idea to see someone else. I'm sure lots of people let alone riders have had this experience. As for taking this post seriously, this really did happen to me. I wish it didn't and to be honest I really wish it was a joke but it isn't.

 

[oldie48]

Mmmm, well this might be a genuine post or it might not, who knows! However as an older woman I can deal with the incontinence, it's the uncontrolled farting I really struggle with. I usually blame the horse but when the horse is in the field and I am somewhere else, I can't always pull it off. Does anyone have any advice?

 

[star]

Mmmm, well this might be a genuine post or it might not, who knows! However as an older woman I can deal with the incontinence, it's the uncontrolled farting I really struggle with. I usually blame the horse but when the horse is in the field and I am somewhere else, I can't always pull it off. Does anyone have any advice?

ROFL.

 

[millikins]

Mmmm, well this might be a genuine post or it might not, who knows! However as an older woman I can deal with the incontinence, it's the uncontrolled farting I really struggle with. I usually blame the horse but when the horse is in the field and I am somewhere else, I can't always pull it off. Does anyone have any advice?

Get a dog

 

[satinbaze]

I am a continence nurse so here is my advice the same for males and females.
Make sure you drink 1.5-2 litres of fluid per day preferably decaffinated drinks. Your bladder can hold onto a larger volume of weak urine but becomes "twitchy" on concentrated urine.
Do your pelvic floor exercises, yes men need to do them too. 5 reps of fast contractions and 5 reps of slow contractions 3 times per day. Remember your pelvic floor is for life not just for Christmas.
Get your urine checked to make sure you have not got a urine infection.
Make sure you are not constipated
If you are a man get your prostate checked, if you came to my clinic I would do a post void bladder scan to make sure you emptied your bladder properly.
When you go to the toilet try double voiding ie. When you have finished having a wee count to 10 have a small cough and often you will pass more urine.
For more information on pelvic floor exercises try the bladder and bowel foundation website.
Hope this helps

 

[dotty1]

My son had to wear teenage 'pull-ups' when his epilepsy was out of control. They were only padded at the front and were not noticeable at all under jeans or his school trousers, he never had any comments from his school friends. Unless you wear really tight breeches, I doubt anyone would notice.

 

[Lyle]

Don't stress, a well known Show jumper on the Victorian circuit had a fall in a D grade round and ripped the seat right out of his breeches! My friend was grooming for him at the time and was instructed to pack up and load the horses, even though he'd only jumped half a round! She was cranky as she'd just studded up 6 horses!