My first BE report - by the Jerry Monster

madhector

madhector

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www.darlingdressage.co.uk
I have sacked the rider, she is absolutely useless!

I was woken up from my lovely snooze and dragged off to Little Downham for the PN. I was very calm and sensible, pretended to have been doing this for years and mum seemed very pleased with me
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Warmed up for the boring bit and I was sensible for once as decided I would give the rider a break. I thought I then went and did a nice test, but the judge thought differently
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Then went off to show jump, and mum seems to be trying this new method of riding me which involves doing absolutely b****r all in front off a fence. I quite liked this and jumped my little socks off for her, demolished one fence because it was very scary and I jumped from a standstill and didn't quite make it, other than that I cleared them all and felt very smug, unfortunately my idiot of a rider missed a fence out so we were eliminated
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She persuaded them to let me go XC anyway, so off we set, I flew them all as find it all a bit easy
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But then we got to fence 19 and I decided I didn't want to jump a log before the scary water and point blank said no. Rider stupidly forgot to go the long route and insisted that jumped this horrible log, but I could see the nasty water just the other side of it and was having none of it!! So we had to retire.

So have fired my rider, and I am looking for a new one if anyone knows of anyone suitable, certainly not letting her on board again
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Oh no Jerry! It is so easily done - B tried to fire me after Belmont but I told him no-one else would have him!!

If nothing else the first one is now out of the way, so when's the next one?
 
Oops, that's a bit tough J!

Sorry it didn't go so well for you E, if it's any concellation, that is Boo's downfall too, he still needs a lot of encouragement to jump into water over an obstacle
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Keep going though, it will all come together, it nearly is there
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ahh well done v good jumping those fences, poor mummy having to try and rmember so many things, it is v difficult, i'm sure she;ll improve. water is scary i find it scary too and often tell my mum i won;t jump into it over a fence, i need to just trot in down a nice slope so i can feel whats under my feet then i'm fine.
i'm waiting to do my first ode so i can tell you all about it, just need mummy to get brave enough, don;t know why she's worried as i know i can do them all anyway! H.x
 
Dear Hector,

My mummy says that you are very welcome to come and live with us. I would very much like a new boyfriend because mum's convinced I'm a lesbian and I want to prove her wrong. My mummy isnt a whole lot better than yours though- do you know she got me eliminated in my first BE event for jumping the wrong sj course? I also had to retire at the nasty water at that event cos it was so scary. But look at me- I forgave her and we bounced back. She still frequently messes things ups for me but she gives me carrots anyway so I dont mind too much.
Oh and it's much, much more fun to get bad dressage scores because then mummies tend to go for it as there's 'nothing to lose' apparently......

Moon x
 
[ QUOTE ]
Well she was taking me to Stratford hills, but aparently now she is going to try and get her trainer to take me who is a little less c**p

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I think your mummy should take you as she is more than capable - no need for the trainer to do it! I've been E XC because my stupid rider told me to jump the wrong fence, it's easily done apparently....
 
Argh poor you Jerry
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no im only kidding, your rider is more than capable
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Well done on the dressage- as long as you think it went well please keep that in mind
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As for the SJ and xc sounds like he went really well apart from the odd little thing (but that will DEFINATLY come with more )

well done to both of you, and don't be so hard on your self....will look foward to any piccys
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Jerry, i saw your sj round, and it was your fault that your mummy missed out a sj, because you were being a bit silly and on the wrong leg and stuff, and she was giving all her attention to that, not where she was going. if you make it a bit easier for her, you'll get to jump more fences! but she should definitely take you to Stratford Hills, cos practise makes perfect and all that!
Princess Katy. (btw, my mummy was a useless muppet in the sj today, just ask James!)
 
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Im on my way!
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You sound much better, especially if there are carrots going....

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You can have all my hardfeed too cos I hate it and mummy force feeds it to me. Please hurry up, it's nearly dinner time......
 
I whole heartedly agree with sacking the rider, I often think us equines would do a lot better without them.
However, these human beans do provide yummy supper at times, and I do get to go to fun places, although recently ive not left the ground which is tres annoying.
I would give your human bean one last chance.
I know you got her back for messing up with refusing to go any futher, but actually that wet stuff is quite a lot of fun... hit it hard enough and you produce so much spray it soaks his nibs on top which goes down a storm
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Yours
Snoopals
 
Jerry Monster - don't be too hard on your mum, she was probably a bit stressed with it being your 1st 'proper' party
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! You should convince her to take you to Stratford Hills and not the trainer (better the devil you know
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!!!), from what I've heard she's sounds more than capable
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!!!
 
Your Mum had better to take you to Stratford Hills - you are both in this together (especially as she decided not to send you anywhere else) so give her a kick up the butt and tell her she has nothing to lose and everything to gain by riding you.
 
You're very hard on your mummy Jerry!! Try to be nice to her, it will result in more feed and polos - honestly!!!

Fiona
 
Jerry.... I think your mummy did very well & you should let her take you to Stratford hills as she's done all the hours of work with you. Once the first BE is out of the way, she'll be much more chilled & you can both enjoy yourselves. Missing a fence out can happen to all of us & no reason to sack her
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Onwards & upwards & well done on your dressage score
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Hi Jerry

We haven't spoken before but felt like we could be buddies as I am also not a fan of the wet stuff. I've only done one of these weird "BE" things, it was my first ever gallopy thing and couldn't believe I had to do circles, then flashy poles and THEN gallopy stuff
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I tried to get an E at a couple of fences early in the course but stupid slave made me go second time. The wet stuff was quite far, I'd already jumped lots of big scary fences, and quite frankly was too tired to bother
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Anyway I discovered that I could just saunter home slowly after that so am planning on trying the same trick again - there's no way I'm sacking my slave, as I'm too lazy
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. She too is threatening "trainer" but personally I think she has some weird personality where she thinks she can win this battle <laughs in evil chestnut way>

So don't sack your rider, the trainer might make you work MUCH harder and in my broad-bellied view, that is never a good thing
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I suggest at the next one you make a MASSIVE jump into the wet stuff and see if you can make the slave fall off - she can't blame you then
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Good luck
From Madge
 
You have to start somewhere. Better that it can only get better than going out and winning first time and then being constantly disappointed if you do not win again.
 
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