My first horse - on going disaster

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LouLou3

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Hi Everyone - just looking for some advice really...sorry for the long post!

You'll see from my posts on here that I bought my first horse in sept last year. I knew him before I bought him and was riding him for about 6 months. He is well schooled so when he came up for sale I thought he would be my ideal horse to teach me.

Since then I've had nothing but dramas - he didn't settle well, in fact he took the P out of me big time...he was soooo not the horse I used to ride. But I was reassured on here that many people get their horses home and think what on earth have I bought and given time to settle in they come good!!! Many thought I was over horsed (including me) but I persevered...

Then just as we were starting to get somewhere in the school (he was still an ar*se when handled) he started acting like an idiot when putting his tack on...and then he went lame in Feb - since then he's been lame on and off and has just literally been diagnosed with coffin joint arthritis.

He's just had steriods so we have to wait and see if they work but he's my dilema and something I hate to admit but...

I don't think he is the right horse for me - its not fun at all, seems to have taken over my life and is making me miserable. Its not that he's been lame that I can cope with, its the attitude and general manner of the horse that is getting me down.

First I told myself he needed time to settle, then I thought poor thing is in pain but not sure what his excuse would be now...unless his steriods aren't working maybe! The other day he tried to bite me in the stable when grooming - this is a new behaviour, I immediately thought ok he's hurting somewhere but after checking him I'm confident he's not. Both farrier and vet have gotten to know him well over the last 6 months and both say he is one to watch - you know throws his toys out if he doesn't get his own way but is sweeter than sweet if he does.

The turning point was riding another horse last week, this horse was amazing, gentle, came when called, put head down to be tacked and was just lovely...mine is the complete opposite despite lots of love, attention and care.

I just don't know what to do...I've given him everything I have to give and am getting to the end of my tether and starting to wonder if he'll ever materialise into the horse I thought he was.

Feel stuck...:-(
 
I am in the process of putting my horse up for sale as I just wasn't enjoying her. I bought her as an unbroken project last year and then very soon after had to have my other horse (horse of a lifetime) put down and it's just been one thing after another. She hasn't done anything wrong but it's taken me this long to realise she just isn't the one for me. It's heartbreaking, but the right decision.

Is your horse saleable at the moment? Is he sound?
 
What a shame for you. Horses are meant to be fun (often aren't of course!) It sounds like it is the behaviour that is the problem and anyway the lameness issue means he probably not rehomeable atm. So, do some research locally or on the web and find a knowledgeable professional horseperson/trainer/'natural horsemanship' expert and, having defined what the problem is, i.e. he invades my space, he's hard to lead, he tries to bite, tell the expert and ask them if they can help train you, and him, to change these behaviours. It may also be a management problem of course. How was he kept in his last home.....more work, less food, firm handling, rigid routine etc etc? Have you changed his routine from this and if so, how can you get him back to similar that seems to have been right for him.
 
I personally would wait and see if the steriods work. then you can make a propper informed decision about his future.

Given his arthritis and his behaviour it would be pretty irresponsible to pass him on and given that you knew him for 6 months before purchasing and he was a completely different horse to th one you now know, it would sugest something is not right. is his management vastly different to what it was before? does he get the same amount of turnout etc? Feed?
 
my heart goes out to you. i went though a very similar thing with my first horse. to cut a long story short, i had her for 11 months, spent fortunes on her to get her sorted, eventually traced her "real" previous owner and got the full story. made me realise that no amount of training or help would sort her one big problem. i'd sorted a lot with her, but this one thing was ongoing. she would not hack alone, which is something i needed her to do as my yard is small. so i made the heartbreaking decision to sell. i knew it wouldnt be easy to find her the right home, but it was my job to. i knew what she needed and i set out to find that. and i did. she is with a family who keep her at a riding school and they never hack out alone. they rarely hack at all as they enjoy "playing" with her in the sand school. plus they hve professional help on hand.

i then found the horse i hve now and he really is the horse for me. everything i wanted. we had teething problems, but we're through that now. i've had him over a year and he's here to stay.

not saying that you should sell, just giving you my story and hope it helps you make the right choice. its so hard, but life's too short to be spending it stressing and worrying about something which should be fun and exciting. best of luck x
 
Don't get me wrong - I understand my responsibility and would not sell him until a) he was sound and b) only if and when I decide I've had enough. Not there yet but it just frightened me to think that actually perhaps he's just not the right horse for me...

I really want him to be, have invested so much in him that I'll be gutted if he isn't, plus I want to make sure he is looked after and secure.

Just wondered if anyone else had been through any thing similar and what others thoughts are.
 
CBFan said:
I personally would wait and see if the steriods work. then you can make a propper informed decision about his future.

Given his arthritis and his behaviour it would be pretty irresponsible to pass him on and given that you knew him for 6 months before purchasing and he was a completely different horse to th one you now know, it would sugest something is not right. is his management vastly different to what it was before? does he get the same amount of turnout etc? Feed?
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Agree with all said by CBFan.
Get his arthritis sorted, if it becomes managable then that is a good start.
Then as CBFan said, check that nothing has changed from when you used to ride him before etc.
If he is ok to be ridden or as a companion etc and you have changed nothing from when you used to ride him, then i think its best to let him go to someone else.
I am going through this at the mo myself. Got new horse (not my first horse though) and since getting him home, its been a disater, not the horse i tried out or was sold, the seller lied through their teeth. Still i have worked with him for months despite not wanting a project, but his behaviour is just too errattic and to be honest, i am really not enjoying it at all. So i have decided that as much as i love the horse, and i really really love him, he needs to go to someone else.
Its a horrid decision, but as people told me after i had spent a weekend with concussion and cuts and bruises from trying to work with him.....its meant to be fun.
Really hope things are managable with his arthritis and you make a decision thats best for you both.
Good luck, i know how upsetting it all is x
 
im sure i'll get shot down for this but if you dont like your horse, arent getting on with him or having any fun then get rid of him. you dont spend time and money on something you dont like so dont do it with your horse.

owning a horse is very expensive and time consuming and if you arent enjoying it then its pointless!

you can sell your horse as long as you are honest about his health and behaviour.

dont stick with it because you feel you have to. get yourself a horse you can enjoy

*runs off to hide*
 
I think the idea of getting someone from Intelligent Horsemanship out to help you with the behavioural issues would be a good investment, because it should help you to get along with him more, even if you do decide to sell him. Also I should hope that they would be honest enough with you to say if they think he can be improved a lot, or that his behaviour is too difficult for you. Hopefully the vet treatment will also work and then you can think about selling him.

In the end, owning a horse is supposed to be enjoyable, at least you should look forward to being with your horse. They don't all work out, so deciding to part with them is sometimes the best thing for both sides. Good luck.
 
mole said:
im sure i'll get shot down for this but if you dont like your horse, arent getting on with him or having any fun then get rid of him. you dont spend time and money on something you dont like so dont do it with your horse.

owning a horse is very expensive and time consuming and if you arent enjoying it then its pointless!

you can sell your horse as long as you are honest about his health and behaviour.

dont stick with it because you feel you have to. get yourself a horse you can enjoy

*runs off to hide*
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Don't hide :-) you're entitled to your opinion and its what my family, friends are telling me. They all say everything is suffering because I'm so wrapped up in this all consuming situation. I do want him to work out but just had started to wonder if perhaps he was wrong for me and visa versa. I'll wait until I know the outcome of the steriods for definite though as that may help me to make up my mind, if they don't work not sure what the next step is for him anyway.
 
skychick said:
Agree with all said by CBFan.
Get his arthritis sorted, if it becomes managable then that is a good start.
Then as CBFan said, check that nothing has changed from when you used to ride him before etc.
If he is ok to be ridden or as a companion etc and you have changed nothing from when you used to ride him, then i think its best to let him go to someone else.
I am going through this at the mo myself. Got new horse (not my first horse though) and since getting him home, its been a disater, not the horse i tried out or was sold, the seller lied through their teeth. Still i have worked with him for months despite not wanting a project, but his behaviour is just too errattic and to be honest, i am really not enjoying it at all. So i have decided that as much as i love the horse, and i really really love him, he needs to go to someone else.
Its a horrid decision, but as people told me after i had spent a weekend with concussion and cuts and bruises from trying to work with him.....its meant to be fun.
Really hope things are managable with his arthritis and you make a decision thats best for you both.
Good luck, i know how upsetting it all is x
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Thanks Skychick - sorry to hear you are going through it too. Wish you luck with yours too x
 
mole said:
im sure i'll get shot down for this but if you dont like your horse, arent getting on with him or having any fun then get rid of him. you dont spend time and money on something you dont like so dont do it with your horse.

owning a horse is very expensive and time consuming and if you arent enjoying it then its pointless!

you can sell your horse as long as you are honest about his health and behaviour.

dont stick with it because you feel you have to. get yourself a horse you can enjoy

*runs off to hide*
Click to expand...

totally agree with this
 
ORANGEHORSE said:
I think the idea of getting someone from Intelligent Horsemanship out to help you with the behavioural issues would be a good investment, because it should help you to get along with him more, even if you do decide to sell him. Also I should hope that they would be honest enough with you to say if they think he can be improved a lot, or that his behaviour is too difficult for you. Hopefully the vet treatment will also work and then you can think about selling him.

In the end, owning a horse is supposed to be enjoyable, at least you should look forward to being with your horse. They don't all work out, so deciding to part with them is sometimes the best thing for both sides. Good luck.
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Thanks Orangehorse - others have also advised to get a behaviour specialist so I'll definitely look into this.
 
Do you have any thoughts on why his behaviour changed between riding him for 6 months and buying him? Usually horses can be taught to be OK for a viewing or two and then revert back to their naughty behaviour, but 6 months is a long time to know a horse and I would expect him to be more consistent (either good overall or naughty overall). Was someone else also riding him at the time? Is he unhappy for some reason at the new yard?

From what you say the most obvious reason for this change in behaviour is pain and that fits in well with the arthritis diagnosis. When were the steroid injections done? Did the vet mention how long before you see a change?

If the problem is purely behavioural, do you have an instructor? What have they advised you?

If you have tried to manage his environment, relieve his pain and get help from an instructor and none of these are working then he clearly is not the right horse for you. There is no shame in selling him and getting another horse, however you may need to be careful what kind of home he goes to with his history, i.e. arthritis and bad behaviour.
 
Kind of in the same situe, I lets say rescued in a loose sense my horse 2 years ago, ever since we have gone around in circles dealing with every issue. Ridden about 10 times in those 2 years and the last time he just took the mick. To handle he is fabulous but to ride he does it his way or you get tantrum time.

He wasnt as bad as he is now so we are moving him to a yard this month with off road hacking and a school to see if facilities make a difference to him (im told by someone who knew him previously he will not work in his feild which is what ive had to try and do without success)

He has been in pain for a while with hock arthritis and currently having jabs, he is very bolshy and you have to be firm and confident all the time which he responds to, soon as your awww poor thing he walks all over you. We will see what happens with the move but if things go awry he will be retired and moved to a feild to laze.

Im one of those that perseveres till the end but tbh having done that for so many years I think enjoying your hobby is paramount.
 
I'd second the idea of having an IH expert look at him, and also see if the steroids work. Get an idea from the vet when you should start to see a difference, and from that point, if you've not seen a massive improvement, move to plan B.

Plan B, would, for me, be retiring him to a nearby field. If he was not able to hold his soundness on field rest, then I would have him PTS.

But that's down the line - plan C or D.

Let's say you get to the point where the horse has had steroids, seen a few experts, and and there's still zero improvement. I would then retire him to a nearby retirement field with some friends. At this point, I would have some time out of horse ownership. Ride friend's horses, go to a riding school, ride a schoolmaster - do things that will boost your confidence back up. You've taken a real knock.

Take a few months of riding good confidence-givers, attending clinics, going to horse shows over the summer - get your love of horses back. Come autumn, think again and decide if you'd like to find a new horse, or perhaps share, or just have lessons on schoolmasters. You do seem to have done right by this horse so far, but you do need to also nurture your own happiness. Some time out might be just what you need.
 
my horse was alot like yours to start with and has become more like the horse you recently enjoyed riding. He had alot of trust issues plus he had also been somewhere he was allowed to walk all over people and give him an inch he would take the mile.However with consistent handling and letting him know what I expected each and every time I handled him within 6 months he became a much calmer gentle horse who began to enjoy human company. The fact that yours has gotten worse either suggests he is still in alot of pain or else he has sussed out that you are not the right person for him or even that he is in the wrong type of yard to settle happily.
With regard to handling him if he senses you are worried in any way he will take advantage of that situation and take charge.If this is the case then either get someone in to help work through the problems or sell him on to someone who can work with him.
If you aren't scared of him then I would try to move him to a situation where he may be happier. Are you on a busy yard? It may be he can't feel relaxed because there is too much going on around him.I know my horse seems happier living out rather than coming in to a stable. Also look at what feed your horse is getting. Most people feed far too much which can and does often result in behavioural problems.
I would also speak to your vet to see what his opinion is on your horses behaviour and whether he feels it is pain related or behavioural.
 
Booboos said:
Do you have any thoughts on why his behaviour changed between riding him for 6 months and buying him? Usually horses can be taught to be OK for a viewing or two and then revert back to their naughty behaviour, but 6 months is a long time to know a horse and I would expect him to be more consistent (either good overall or naughty overall). Was someone else also riding him at the time? Is he unhappy for some reason at the new yard?

From what you say the most obvious reason for this change in behaviour is pain and that fits in well with the arthritis diagnosis. When were the steroid injections done? Did the vet mention how long before you see a change?

If the problem is purely behavioural, do you have an instructor? What have they advised you?

If you have tried to manage his environment, relieve his pain and get help from an instructor and none of these are working then he clearly is not the right horse for you. There is no shame in selling him and getting another horse, however you may need to be careful what kind of home he goes to with his history, i.e. arthritis and bad behaviour.
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Hi Booboos - I know his previous owner and am in touch with her at the moment - have been since buying him. He was pretty calm when I rode before but guess that was because he was settled he'd been there for years. She will say he is not the most affectionate horse and can be stubborn but he does react well to a firm hand and fixed routine. I'm probably not and certainly wasn't then experienced enough for him and he did take the P out of me - he learnt very quickly until I started to stand up for myself. In hindsight it wasn't a great match but then hindsight is a wonderful thing and something we're never blessed with. I'm hoping it is a pain thing and once out of pain he will start to react well as he was before...injections were last week so I'll know whether they have worked in a few weeks / month according to the vet.
 
Thanks everyone - although still in the same situation just hearing your thoughts have made me feel better about the situation and funnily enough I feel motivated again...not sure how long it will last but the situation doesn't seem as bleak.

I think the way forward is to firstly wait and see how he reacts to the injections - that may make my mind up for me...if he doesn't come right on them and isn't field sound then PTS sleep is the only fair thing.

If he does come sound then I think I'm going to take him back the beginning and get someone in to help me, I have a FAB dressage instructor who has been so supportive so either them or someone else who knows what they are on about. Half my problem is my inexperience - he knows it and I know it so it'll be back to basics for us both. If that doesn't work then I'll sell on.

There I feel much better I have a plan!!
 
mole said:
im sure i'll get shot down for this but if you dont like your horse, arent getting on with him or having any fun then get rid of him. you dont spend time and money on something you dont like so dont do it with your horse.

owning a horse is very expensive and time consuming and if you arent enjoying it then its pointless!

you can sell your horse as long as you are honest about his health and behaviour.

dont stick with it because you feel you have to. get yourself a horse you can enjoy

*runs off to hide*
Click to expand...

I'm with mole in every way.

However, as far as the groundwork - I have a mare that can be a bit pushy. I bought a dually headcollary (Monty Roberts) off ebay and watched a load of his stuff on Sky TV - she is now a different horse. I am no bunny hugger trust me but most of the stuff that Monty does is truly amazing and he is right - it all starts as groundwork.

Get your horse listening to you properly on the ground and the rest should follow. Be very firm with him and don't let him get away with anything. A chifney would work in a simlar way but just a bit more severe. Put him in his place then back off when he is good - it is the only way they learn.

I would say though that it sounds like he is not "first" horse" material - you need something that will go to sleep when you are grooming, not trying to take chunks out of you!

Best of luck.

Fi
 
That sounds like a good plan! I would definitely wait until the steroids have kicked in as some of his behaviour, e.g. biting, could easily be down to pain.

Also, there is no harm in asking your instructor for help with him in hand or asking his previous owner to come by and show you how she coped with him. I had a horse I initially found too lively to handle and paid my instructor for leading and handling lessons - best money I ever spent! There is nothing like knowing how to react quickly and correctly for sorting a horse out!

Good luck!
 
I'll probably get laughed at for this - but do you think your horse maybe senses the frustration and lack of enjoyment that he's giving you, and that may be this is not helping his attitude also?

I know if I'm feeling down and grumpy and frustrated it's very hard to see good points in my horse - if I'm happy and chilled and enjoying her she's lovely! Sometimes they really do reflect how you are feeling.

A few people have suggested getting an IH person to give you a bit of help - I can recommend this - I went from being quite afraid of riding my mare and having problems hacking to where I am now (hacking cheerfully on my own, being on the riding club dressage team, and even getting jumping again) and I think the turning point was due to the help from the IH person. Plus a lot of good lessons after that! But definitely the turning point!
 
LouLou3 said:
Don't get me wrong - I understand my responsibility and would not sell him until a) he was sound and b) only if and when I decide I've had enough. Not there yet but it just frightened me to think that actually perhaps he's just not the right horse for me...

I really want him to be, have invested so much in him that I'll be gutted if he isn't, plus I want to make sure he is looked after and secure.

Just wondered if anyone else had been through any thing similar and what others thoughts are.
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I know how you feel. I sold my first horse last summer, after struggling on for 4 years to try and get a good partnership. Mine was similar to yours - OK as long as everything went the way he wanted, otherwise a tantrum ensued. We had loads of professional help, but in the end I had to give up because neither of us was happy. He was just out in the field, and I had totally lost confidence. I found him a fab home, and now have my horse of a lifetime. Those 4 years were not wasted, but I sometimes regret that it took me so long to decide to sell him on.

All I would say is that if you are not enjoying your horse then you will end up resenting eachother, or you may become scared of him. Then again, he may improve after his legs stop hurting - worth waiting to see what happens. However, if you do decide to sell him on then rest assured I understand exactly why!
 
We have a huge influence on how our horses develop and behave. If your horse was fine before you bought him and now you are having problems them my conclusion is that YOU by your behaviour with him and management of him, have changed him.
I always found in the past that every horse I ever owned ended up the same horse as all the previous horses I d owned, nervous, heavy on the forehand, dead to the leg, unable to canter on the left lead,(I am left handed) I was only when I started to acknowledge these facts that I truely realised that I and my atrocious riding and management skills, had caused these problems. Since addressing these my horses have changed hugely, and I now hope that I have enough knowledge to bring on my young horse to be a pleasant and joyful ride.
 
It is possible the behaviour is pain related. My client had a horse that they bought as lame (no vetting and inexperienced) and was basically on box rest and restricted from week3/4 until they sold her as broodmare after 8 months.... She was a nightmare to handle yet had been a kids pony, done everything in old home. The lameness (front ligament and spavins) treatment just messed up her head.
 
mole said:
im sure i'll get shot down for this but if you dont like your horse, arent getting on with him or having any fun then get rid of him. you dont spend time and money on something you dont like so dont do it with your horse.

owning a horse is very expensive and time consuming and if you arent enjoying it then its pointless!

you can sell your horse as long as you are honest about his health and behaviour.

dont stick with it because you feel you have to. get yourself a horse you can enjoy

*runs off to hide*
Click to expand...

Totally agree with this :)
 
Sometimes with an ex Riding School Horse they are very much institutionalised with the comfort of a Fixed Regime and quite a lot of work so a nice laid back horse who knows the routine and is used to working hard can become depressed.

Teasel has worked miracles with her mare and I on the other hand had to throw in the cards after 18 months the stress of not bonding properly with my horse at the same time as having parents with serious health problems has taken every ounce of joy horse owning gave me over 25 years away I rode my friends horse to help her out but the Buzz has gone. I was right to sell my horse for both our sakes as he will be a star with the right owner my only regret is that I didnt do it within the first year and before he broke my heart.

Its going to take a long time before I get my Mojo back so there are your 3 options (very loosely I recognise there is more to it than this).

1) Was he happier before because of routine and workload?

2) Do you persevere like Teasel did (I know she persevered as I know the Damsel herself)

3) Do you throw in the cards like I did. If you go for option 3 it will have to be when his veterinary treatment is complete.

Can I Just say Good Luck whatever you decide!
 
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