My first horse - taking it back

A

amanda1788

Well-Known Member
Joined
3 December 2007
Messages
204
Visit site
I dont' really know the point in this post, but guess i'm just looking for some reasurance that i'm doing the right thing.
I bought my first horse about 4 months ago, when i went to go see her i rode her groomed her and she was lovely, quite forward but i liked that. After about 2/3 weeks of having her she started playing up, i put it down to her just pushing her boundaries, but it got a lot worse to the point where i can't ride her as just don't trust what she will do, as the last few times she has kept bronco ing until I finally come off! Also on the ground she can get really moody and has bitten a couple of times. My instructor whose also the YO has been fantastic and has ridden her where she started rearing and bucking. Once she got past the being naughty she was good and had nice paces. The problem is I'm just not experienced enough to deal with her with this many problems, she's also really bad with vet/farrier and bascially everybody!
However apart from all these problems she can be really sweet and is hardly ever grumpy with me anymore just strangers. Anyway to the point the dealer i got her from said they would take her back and have found me a really gorgeous ex-riding school horse, who's really gentle and would suit me a lot better, as she has knocked my confidence a lot. But am i doing the right thing by giving up on her and taking her back, as I love her to bits and don't want her to end up in a home where she wont be looked after properly, or worse someone having her pts because she is too naughty, as I feel so guilty about taking her back.
Anyway sorry for such a long post, if you made it this far then you are a saint
grin.gif
 
Send her back - she's obviously not for you.

You want something you can enjoy - not live in fear off.

Good luck with the new one.

Out of interest, was the horse vetted - are you having the new one vetted? Have you checked the fit of the tack etc. as well to ensure that everything fits well?
 
[ QUOTE ]
My instructor whose also the YO has been fantastic and has ridden her where she started rearing and bucking

[/ QUOTE ]
wink.gif
 
Boss she said her instructor had been riding the horse, so Im guessing the answer is yes!!
smile.gif



HM sounds like you are doing the right thing, if shes knocked your confidence so much that shes no fun to be around/ride then shes not the horse for you... good luck with your new one though!
 
Yes, it sounds like you are doing absolutely the right thing. You've had your confidence knocked and its really difficult to get it back when you obviously have a troublesome horse.

Whilst, I know it is very difficulr, I shouldn't worry too much about her as it sounds like she could do with a more experienced person who can deal with her tantrums. The dealer at least sounds responsible and wont want her keep coming back, so there is a good chance they will find the right home for her.

You are after all in this for fun and she didn't sound much fun
crazy.gif
. It also sounds as if you have done all the right things.

Good luck with your new horse!
laugh.gif
 
For what it's worth I think you are doing the right thing. An ex riding school horse sounds just the thing to get your confidence back.
 
Absolutely. Even with an instructor I don't think as a newbie to horse ownership you should take on a horse that needs a more experienced person. I have had the same problem and its taken a year and a lot of money to fix and I have owned horses before and ridden for over 30 years. My confidence was shaken and is just starting to come back. I think you're being brave and sensible as well as fair to the horse to allow it to go to a more experience home and to allow you to enjoy something that should be a pleasure.
wink.gif
 
Well no doubt many will say that you haven't had her long enough to establish a good bond with her.....however in your case you say you aren't experienced enough to deal with her - therefore if I were you I would definitely send her back and take the horse which sounds far more suitable.

I've had horses forever and I know exactly what I want and what I don't want nowadays - I'd know within a month or so whether a horse was suitable or not, if not then it would be sold, if it is then it will stay here for another year or so and then it will be sold on after bringing it further up the line. I sell horses for a living and I try to match riders with horses, however if I ever made an unsuitable judgement then I would either take the horse back or try to find a new buyer for the horse.

Make sure you really try this other horse out - even perhaps going to ride it 4 or 5 times....you don't want to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire.
smile.gif
 
Yes the YO is my instructor, yes i have had her tack, back checked. I didn't get her vetted, for the new horse my instructor is coming and she is very experienced and she said she will check the horse over for me and ride him to make sure he's suitable for me.
I know i'm doing the right thing but I just feel guilty as she can be really affectionate and want to make sure she goes to a good home with someone who's just more experienced.
 
It is very difficult to make a choice, I did the same with one of mine i carried on for a lot longer and completly lost all my confidence, he was a lovely horse but to much for me, I now have a lovley little mare and we have great fun! I think if you have given it a good go but still feel shes to much then I would get another one, in the end your saftey is more important plus you want a horse you can enjoy and have fun on! good luck im sure everything will turn out for the best, x
 
There are several questions here. Firstly, the horse has started misbehaving for one of two reasons - either it has injured itself and is in pain, or it is out of the routine that was keeping it settled and working, and away from confident handling and is exploiting your weakness (that isn't a critcism BTW) Have you eliminated a physical cause for the problems by getting the horse checked over and your tack checked?

If you decide that you would be better to change the horse to one with a calmer outlook on life then do it sooner rather than later, and ensure that you get this exchange documented by the dealer and some kind of description of it as to it being suitable for a novice owner and rider, so that if this one goes off the rails you have some come back. Be sure to duplicate the kind of routine in respect of work, feed, turnout that the horse has had at the dealers to minimise any transitional problems.

Don't worry about horse no 1, put yourself first. There will be a rider out there who will not mind a few quirks and I am sure it will find a new home soon enough.
 
yes! i bought from a dealer and decided to keep mine. although shes not naughty she has issues and although i am winning its one hell of a journey!!! take her back get something funa dn you will both be happy
 
I think the reason she is being so naughty is that she needs someone who is experienced as the_watcher said. I think she's taking advantage of the fact that i'm not that experienced.
Thank you for all of your comments
 
[ QUOTE ]
for the new horse my instructor is coming and she is very experienced and she said she will check the horse over for me and ride him to make sure he's suitable for me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Personally I would never buy a horse without it being vetted - however, people do and it's not been a problem for them.

However, as the first horse has turned in to a little madam, and is presumably acting contrary to the way she was advertised I would proceed with caution.

Riding school horses and ponies very rarely go through dealers - they quite often get sold straight from the school. Also beware of any napping issues that this other horse could come with - riding school horses are notorious for it.

I say these things not to put you off - but just to consider.

Good luck.
 
Yes thank you, that is why i'm taking someone who is a lot more experienced with me. The dealer has been really nice and really she was only on a 7 day trial, so could have said its my problem deal with it, but shes been really helpful. the ex-riding school horse id for sale as the school it was at has now closed so they need to get rid of a lot of there horses, they didn't want to sell him to a dealer but they knew her, so knew she was going to sell him to a good home.
 
My GOd you so MUST send her back. I wasted years on a Grey Mare that I thought behaved badly becuase I wasnt good enough. I sold her cheap to a Riding School who were going to School her up to get rid of the problems I had Introduced and sell on or use in the school and lo and behold she was a baggage. I found out after a lot of tears and almost packing in riding that she had been sent away to be sorted out just before I bought her. Leave Difficult horses to the professionals its what they do best there are only so many challenges you should endure with something that takes up so much time effort and money. Dont do the feeling guilty thing it makes you a doormat for the horse. The Grey baggage was also sweet and loveable especially if you didnt get on her.

I apologise if this sounds bossy but it makes me cross when others have to go through the pain self-doubt and guilt that I put myself through.

You only have one life, Live it would you take this from a man!!

Sorry guys I know there are adorable men out there I have my own so I know, its the same with horses.
 
I think sending it back is absolutely the right thing to do.

HOWEVER....I know you are taking someone very experienced with you but please get the next horse properly vetted. Even a very experienced eye can miss something and as you are such good friends with your YO it would be awful if she/he missed something that came to light later on.
 
I think you have to just get rid. I am terrible, you always feel guilty giving up on a horse as you always assume someone else will treat them badly but to be honest I feel some horse and people personalities just clash and someone else may take her on and really gel. We spent a good 3 or 4 years trying to sort my sister's horse who started rearing badly to get out of things and just shot her confidence, nothing was fun anymore it was all a chore. Basically I think the horse and her clashed and we probably should never have got him and maybe sold him after he threw her off bronco style at the first show. He was extremely talented but i think really needed someone who wouldn't pressure him into jumping (even though he was fab at it when he decided to do it!) or somebody who had the time to work him every day - he needed brain work.

Once you have lost confidence in a horse it's not fair on you or the horse cos they sense you don't trust them and it worries them more so it's a vicious circle. I think you're incredibly lucky the dealer will take her back so take up the offer an get yourself a horse you can enjoy being with!
smile.gif
 
Definitely take her back but please please get the new one vetted before you agree to anything. A couple of hundred quid could save you a whole load of heart ache in the long run. Especially with you being inexperienced a 5 stage vetting is essential. Even though you're taking your YO who is experienced - imagine how bad she'll feel if she says something seems okay and it turns out to have problems. Even experienced people can't see issues that a vetting would turn up.

Is the dealer doing a straight swap or asking for a bit more money? It's common practice to keep asking for a bit more each time an unsuitable horse is sent back and replaced with a new one.
 
I have been in the same boat and unfortunately my first pony attacked my son. This was the last straw and I sold him but not before he had completely destroyed what little confidence I had. I have now got a lovely irish cob who I've had for nearly 3 years and he is brilliant. It was the best thing I've done and he totally restored my confidence and some. I think you should get rid.
 
Sometimes just like with people - owners and horses don't get on. 4 months is not long but if you have lost your confidence I think it's best she goes to a home where the owner/rider is more experienced. Good luck with your new horse - try and get a good instructor from day one
smile.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
I think you are doing exactly the right thing, not just for your own sake but for the horse's as well. Good luck with the next one.

[/ QUOTE ]

My thoughts exactly. There are thousands of lovely horses out there, buy one which is going to make you happy and have fun. It is a very expensive way to be miserable. There are also very experienced people out there who will hopefully take on your first horse too.

And definitely have the horse vetted, I know of people who have come across UVeitis, heart murmurs and the like during a vetting and walked away. The horses seemed fine, but clearly weren't.

Good luck, it is sad when you have fallen for a horse but far better in the long run to walk away and find a more suitable horse.
 
life is too short and horses cost too much to keep one who you don't click with.

It's not a measure of you, some horses just don't click with some riders!

Good luck x
 
I agree with most of the other comments that you should get something you can have fun and grow in confidence with. Your guilt is natural but your mare may end being happier with someone experienced enough to tackle her issues.

On the other hand, I went through something similar when I got Twiglet, I was totally overhorsed and he was really unhappy which showed in his behaviour. He was on the verge of going back when I decided that I would give it a last shot - that was four years ago and we're both different now. He still has his moments, but I love him to bits and I'm glad I stuck with him.
 
I would send it back to the dealer without hesitation. I was in your situation last year when I inadvertently bought a horse with behavioural issues. I spent hundreds on vets, physio, saddler, dentist etc. I had him professionaly re-schooled twice but even the professionals couldn't turn him round so I sold him very cheaply to a lady who was fully aware of his problems. He chucked her off 3 times in the first week so it wasn't just my poor riding skills that were to blame!

I would get the new horse vetted though. I had the 5 stage vetting with my current mare and I then felt very confident in purchasing her. She is the perfect horse for me and I trusted her from the moment I first sat on her. She is cheeky but totally uncomplicated and she feels like I have owned her for ever even though we've only been a partnership for 5 months.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top