my friend does not want to canter

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horserider0912

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hi

I ride with anyone on my yard but my friend does not like a group of people but i dont mind them. she wont ride out with them. She does not want to canter or gallop but i do. She has fallen and had a bad experience. The group of people that she does not like canters and gallops. I am suppose to be riding with her today but i am really getting bored. I have been riding with her for months now. just me and her. im considering going riding with the group of people to enjoy the ride more. I really do not want to leave my friend out though. What can i do? lol! Its so awkward!
 
Your friend will understand that you'd like to go faster sometimes (she used to before she was hurt), so talk to her, tell her that you'll split between riding with her (because you like her and like riding with her) and with the other people.

My friends and daughter did this when I wasn't able to canter. I understood their need/want to go faster, so just didn't go on those rides. When they came out with me we did what I was comfortable doing.
 
alternate?

do your horse good to have both fast and slow hacks....

explain to your friend you want to canter on hacks and your going to go out with person A.group A

dont be so harsh on her - shes obviously had a bad experience and in her own time she will canter again
 
Is there any more you can do to help her improve her confidence ? If you spend some time helping her, rather than leaving her out, she might soon become confident enough to do some cantering on the hacks with you. Good luck.
 
This is difficult but not insurmountable.

I've got a lovely friend who hacks out with me and mine sometimes - and we quite often box the horses up and go up to somewhere nice coz the hacking here's a bit too much roadwork. She's very experienced and confident - and I know that if she didn't have me with her then she'd be tanking off across wild country and would get a real thrill from it; however I've got a dicky back which hurts like hell if I'm not very sedate, plus a kn@ackered knee, plus a twangy hip if I do too much fast work!! So walk and trot fine, canter OK'ish but not too much and VERY slowly - galloping & jumping a no-no.

So when we ride out together I'm very aware that I probably drive her mad, bless her.

Which is why I'm quite happy to let her go off with her friends occasionally for a good old pipe-opener. She'll always say that they're off to do some fast-work, and I'm quite happy for her to go off and have a whizzy ride when she needs to.

I think you have to give your friend the option of having a slower ride, either on her own, or with like-minded friends. I can see you're getting very frustrated at having to plod along at snails pace!!! Just like my lovely friend, you need to go off and have a burn occasionally, and I think you should just explain - gently - to your friend that you and your horse just need to do this occasionally and you're thinking of her and not inviting her along coz you want her to feel confident hacking out and riding her horse without feeling she has to go along at your speed, kind of thing.

I think if you explain it like this, as gently as you can, she'll be absolutely fine about it and appreciate your thinking of her.

Give her some time to doddle around and get her confidence back - and she'll soon be out tanking along with you again!!

It just takes time. She'll get there, bless her.
 
Your friend is happy to walk and trot mybe one day she might start to gain confidence again, even so its up to her. I am sure she is very greatful to you for hacking out with her, just say you have been invited to go for a hack that involves cantering and If she wants she can come too, no reason why not to do both..
 
I love cantering out on hacks, my friend doesn't. So I ride out with my friend but not all the time. It won't hurt me to give up a few rides to be with my friend. One day it might be me needing a bit of support.
Many peoples confidence is just one fall away.....
 
horserider0912 said:
hi

I ride with anyone on my yard but my friend does not like a group of people but i dont mind them. she wont ride out with them. She does not want to canter or gallop but i do. She has fallen and had a bad experience. The group of people that she does not like canters and gallops. I am suppose to be riding with her today but i am really getting bored. I have been riding with her for months now. just me and her. im considering going riding with the group of people to enjoy the ride more. I really do not want to leave my friend out though. What can i do? lol! Its so awkward!
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I'm like your friend, although I do now like to canter but only with people I know will go at my pace. I totally understand that you would like to go out on faster hacks. I'm sure she will appreciate your honesty and consideration if you are also prepared to hack out with her as well xx
 
Actually, you could have the best of both worlds if you alternate between your friend and the others. Riding on the fast hacks is fun, but going out with your friend too will be good for your horse as well. If you only ride with the gallopy friends, your horse may expect to always go fast on grass and become competitive. By riding out with the other friend as well, he'll remember that sometimes he has to walk in the canter spots without getting excited.
 
Maybe, as well as explaining you ' d like to do a bit of faster hacking , ask her if she feels ready to try a little canter - perhaps pick a point with a short uphill slope so it's easier to stop the horse? If that goes well you could encourage her a bit more next time perhaps?
 
Gosh don't feel bad, your friend is asking a lot of you!! She has it all her way, and it's not like you're not going to ride out with her, you still will - you're just going on faster hacks too.

You are far too nice a person I have no idea how you've coped thus far!!

Unless it's specific baby/nervous rider nannying, which my horse is fab at, I will not ride out with anyone who won't ride at speed. Apart from anything I get really stiff if I can't change the pace, it's horrible!! xx
 
Hi there, We have this same problem, until we split into two groups, we all go out on the same hack, split up when we go off to canter, we then double back to the first non canter group so everyone and their horses are happy, and no one feels left out. We never leave anyone on their own to wait for us though so it works out for all of us. Hope this helps.:)
 
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