My newly backed baby and handing over the reins to a nervous rider!!

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evenco

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hi all, i have just spent 3 months working with my very stunning horse, it was a love at first sight kinda thing and the fact that he was an unbroken 17hh 6yr old stallion didn't come into the equation!! i stamped my feet loud and clear until hubby finally agreed that i could have him!, we had him cut then left him a while to settle down, he was big strong and bulshy and at times i felt that maybe i had bitten off more than i could chew! with some sound advice from an expert i persevered and now have an incredibly well mannered, easy to handle, gentle giant and im very proud of him, cutting the long story short i have done all the groundwork with him from lunging to longreing, backing to riding forword, so far he has proven to be an absolute super star so much that i would say he is a dobbin! because of this fact i let one of my friends ride him as she lost her confidence a few years back in a nasty riding accident! that said previous to her fall i would have let her ride anything she can ride a dressage test far better than i could, she has always been slightly nervous of new horses but once she got to know them she would be fine. She also suffers with depression and since her fall this has become worse as her "therapy" now became something she feared but didn't want to fear so as her friend i feel that by letting her ride my boy i am also giving her some "therapy" time which seems to help. so far she is doing well with him but i feel maybe she is now holding him back as she isn't ready for the big trot of canter, i am also affraid to say to her that i want to hack him or school him today as with her illness she will interpret this in a compleatly different manner than what i actully mean, im kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place, i dont want to upset her but i also dont want my boy to get bored and have to start all over again, i have tried to get her to ride one of the other horses that are quite but she isnt having any of it, she just wants to ride my boy and im not getting a chance. really dont know what to do! any suggestions
 
Can you not just say that because he is so young, you need to get him out hacking and seeing some more stuff, and is there another quiet one that she could sit on for a bit. I think you have been really good to her so i can't see that she will think you are being mean. Your horse sounds amazing too. x
 
Its great that your such a good friend! Just maybe slowly indroduce the fact you want to start riding more to her gently. Like drop little hints like 'oh I cant wait to try this, or 'He would love a good canter, shall I take him for one' but obviously in a happy smiley way and maybe for the first few times suggest it a few days in advance like, 'bob has asked me if I want to go on a hack on sunday, and it would be a great time to give him a canter' then once you've slotted in more riding sessions she will settle to the idea that he is your horse and riding him is your right. You should have said from the start really that you still want to ride him alot , but I think what your doing is great :)
 
Just tell her that you miss riding him and will be riding him on days 123 and she can ride him other days.

Depression is a terrible illness but it is no good pussy footing around her.
 
she comes to the yard everyday, i feel so quilty if i happen to have turned him out first thing and not waited for her to come in, its a kinda weired situation, i live and work at the yard, we run a rescue and rehab centre, so lots of horses with issues around the yard and she comes here everyday to visit my parents and generally help out, i have 4 horses to excercise each day and a 2yr old child to keep occupied, we hack two together normally my boy and an older mare that can be a little silly and then i work the other two on my own as she is to nervous to handle or ride them :( so its him or nothing and i dont want to get upset :(
 
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