My next equine project horse

Now we have a disaster on the wedding front and a vacancy for a bridesmaid.

Alice is banned, her dress is burnt and she is on the naughty step for the foreseeable future.

Fat Bird is going to have to take her place, does anyone know of a tent outfitters with a range of posh frocks for a barge horse, she takes a 58" girth and all rugs are tutu's on her. The stress of this wedding is too much, last night we went to Aldi to stock up on crisps and snacks for the evening do, we were stared out and whispered over as we pushed our trolley of crisps and booze and little else !

Whose idea was this.

Fat Bird needs a frock. a hat and high heels.
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Auslander said:
Does one dare ask what Alice has done?
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Unspeakably rude this morning and with only a fly hat in my hand I was unable to put an imprint on her ample bottom.

Normally Alice comes over and puts her head down for the hat to go. This morning she walked straight past me, so I grabbed her mane and said 'come here'. In a split second she had swung round giving me an almighty shove with her bottom and attempted a kick ! luckily I was so close all she did was stand on my ankle bone. I couldn't believe it, she is such a gentle soul normally. Must be pmt !

I was so shocked I didn't even shout at her. Never take anything for granted with horses !
 
Ted, you really are beyond help.

Farrier yesterday, Alice was a pain and got a smacked bottom and Ted decided he had never seen the ever patient farrier and did a spot of break dancing. I didn't know where to put myself as the farrier mopped his brow and muttered something about Ted being a little tense today. It is a good job we are close friends and did him a deal of two pork rolls at my wedding reception as a sorry !

With Ted left tied on the naughty step I let the farrier out of the yard only to hear my friend shouting to me saying Ted was having a panic attack. The twit must have been bursting to pee and had started to do it on the yard, the splash back and noise had scared the living daylights out him. He had only done a cupful and was stood with his legs and eyes crossed. He was very pleased to get into the shavings box. Is there anything this huge ball of fluff is not scared of.
 
I too love your updates even if I generally don't reply! Though not sure my YO would be as thrilled if Ted turned up :D.
On the wee'ing front my very sensitive little old show horse is a nervous wee'er, it has to be on something where no splash back will occur and with no-one looking... However my point, if she does need a wee she can get very tense and agitated when ridden, perhaps this was the reason for his issues with the farrier?
x x
 
AlexHyde said:
I too love your updates even if I generally don't reply! Though not sure my YO would be as thrilled if Ted turned up :D.
On the wee'ing front my very sensitive little old show horse is a nervous wee'er, it has to be on something where no splash back will occur and with no-one looking... However my point, if she does need a wee she can get very tense and agitated when ridden, perhaps this was the reason for his issues with the farrier?
x x
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You could easily be right. It is not until you ride horses that you find out if they will pee alfresco or not. My good horse threw a class away at Royal Windsor because he wanted to pee.
 
OldNag said:
Better than that, I will book UPS to pick him up.
Do you have enough bubblewrap?
:-)
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After the farce of catching him on the monsoon this morning I would cheerfully put his head in bubblewrap and drown him.

I now need to keep the OH away from stable lawn for a day or two and hope the craters raise up quickly. At least the geraniums survived Ted's stampede.
 
Just caught up with this thread, after an absence caused by winnings on a 50p bet.

I don't think I mentioned that the odds I was offered on Ted behaving in front of a group of agricultural students a while ago were just stupendous - you could travel the world and spend, spend, spend if you wanted. All gone now. Although I doubt any bookie would ever risk quite the same odds again, it does sound as though Ted (and Alice, for that matter) is working quite hard to make another 50p bet worthwhile for your wedding. <g>

Fantastic news both on the health and wedding front - congratulations! Congratulations also to your OH (hope he doesn't see that lawn). Although the vivid description of the body stocking makes me go ouch. Can't you just wear something comfy? Or wil Alice not let you?

Lovely photos btw of Ted, Alice and the latest bridesmaid. How soon is the wedding? Bet they are not going to be allowed anywhere near the bouquet.
 
Oooooo naught Alice, Bridgette tried that once, her slightly smaller tb-Esk backside def had an imprint after that tho!

I'm sure lack of cake will be punishment enough!

Poor ted, he really does need his own therapist doesn't he :)

Nothing wrong with snaks and alcohol only shopping!

I hope the big day goes well, and most importantly that you and OH enjoy it xxx
 
teacups said:
Just caught up with this thread, after an absence caused by winnings on a 50p bet.

I don't think I mentioned that the odds I was offered on Ted behaving in front of a group of agricultural students a while ago were just stupendous - you could travel the world and spend, spend, spend if you wanted. All gone now. Although I doubt any bookie would ever risk quite the same odds again, it does sound as though Ted (and Alice, for that matter) is working quite hard to make another 50p bet worthwhile for your wedding. <g>

Fantastic news both on the health and wedding front - congratulations! Congratulations also to your OH (hope he doesn't see that lawn). Although the vivid description of the body stocking makes me go ouch. Can't you just wear something comfy? Or wil Alice not let you?

Lovely photos btw of Ted, Alice and the latest bridesmaid. How soon is the wedding? Bet they are not going to be allowed anywhere near the bouquet.
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Wow that 50p lasted well.

Wedding is Friday coming with a very low key do on the Saturday. Mother is on the homemade stuffing right now, she is not impressed but hot pork rolls without homemade stuffing is not on ! She thinks I am busy but the rain hammering on the velux rocked me to sleep very nicely, don't tell her !

A week of huge breakfast, light lunch and no tea has done the trick for the frock so I can sit down in it now. No horses at this wedding sadly. I had my treasured hunter at my first wedding way back in the 80's, mother had a blue fit when she got sneezed on during the photographs. I wish I could take my old show horse, he would love it, but I would never travel an older retired horse, that had not been on the lorry for years, again. I learnt a lesson the last time I did that and very nearly lost the horse after it got excited and collapsed on the lorry. Old and fit I would but not old and unfit.

Time I stopped being idle and did something useful I think.
 
No horses at the wedding - dang, there go my chances of another fortune. Or losing 50p, of course, but I have great faith in Ted's ability to surprise. <g>

And it's very soon, the wedding! Well done re the frock: unusual diet, that. If you can sit and breathe it must be OK. You won't forget to post some photos afterwards, will you? Shame your old show horse can't come, but sensible in the circumstances from what you say.
 
Aw, you are all so kind to remember, thank you.

I am the proud owner of false nails, I was talked into it, admittedly they look nice but they are not user friendly are they ! I have poked myself in the eye twice, got tangled in a haynet and failed in the cat food opening effort. God knows how I am going to get the extra strong fat controller and my tights on in the morning.

9am hair do, 10am step daughter coming to put the slap on, 10.30am struggle with the frock, 11.30 the Bentley arrives (Alice refused to pull a cart), 12noon the deed is done and lunch follows. Please please don't let me drop lunch down my front.
 
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