My OH asked THAT question today...

Mad_Cow347

Mad_Cow347

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So the horses come before me do they?

I told him that many men have asked that question & regretted it. And that yes they do & always will.

As a bit of background he has currently moved to Australia for 3-6 months to work, we've been discussing moving in together when he gets back & he has decided living in a city out there he wants to move into the town centre when he gets back here. I however, am a village girl & moving to the town centre would mean being half an hour away from my boy & his fieldmate (compared to the 5 minute walk now) plus I can't think of anything worse than living in a city centre - even though Cambridge is a nice one as far as they go. Que above question... Think he regretted that.

I've offered a compromise, next village along is 10 minutes to my field & 15 minutes from town but he doesn't seem keen. Good job we've still got lots of time left to negotiate.
 
My hubby never even bothered to ask the question.

He is fully aware of how things are and he accepts it.

Many a marriage/relationship has failed when the men have had a problem accepting the truth :cool:
 
I am with you - I don't do city living. I like to go out and have a good night, don't get me wrong, but I couldn't live there!!
 
Mine has never asked the road he knows. When we met I had two ponies and was in the process of selling one. He then made the statement "there will never be two again" and oh boy was he right. We went from one to three in one fell swoop. I now have thirteen. Poor man. He knows his place!!!
 
Think compromises have to be made in any relationship......however moving into a town centre when your heart tells you the countryside is where you want to be is never going to work!

What is the draw to town centres??? Pubs, Shops, Idiots.......give me a break!
 
frozzy said:
Mine has never asked the road he knows. When we met I had two ponies and was in the process of selling one. He then made the statement "there will never be two again" and oh boy was he right. We went from one to three in one fell swoop. I now have thirteen. Poor man. He knows his place!!!
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Haha excellent! :D
 
Heart of a Lion said:
Think compromises have to be made in any relationship......however moving into a town centre when your heart tells you the countryside is where you want to be is never going to work!

What is the draw to town centres??? Pubs, Shops, Idiots.......give me a break!
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Exactly! It's something that I will not compromise on, or at least no further than the next village (which is the only village between where I live currently & town). Being in Melbourne now is the first time he's ever lived in a town centre, he's always lived in villages before so unfortunately for him I know he isn't a true towny & will therefore have to compromise! Poor boy!

In fairness to him this is the first time the horses have ever come up as an issue, he's always accepted that they come first before, obviously being so far away made him forget :p
 
Horses were there before the husband - he knows his place! But on the moving front, he was a town boy, I was a county girl and he wanted to live in a town when we first bought together...I got my way and we live in a lovely quiet village with a couple of shops and pubs and he couldn't be happier! Our next move will be further out in the sticks...I've converted him! They are simple creatures, easily manipulated ;-)
 
If you can live in a city or town and slowly get rid of your horses cause he cann't stand them then go for it and reap what you sow. You will in the end dump him or he you and I think you will be the loser cause be then you will have sold your horses.
 
Cambridge ain't exactly Melbourne!

I can understand a bit having been to Melb this year - its a stunning city and I loved every minute of being there, but I was still happy to come to the middle of nowhere that I call home.
 
Its so hard isnt it that our non horsey partners just dont seem to 'get it'.

I have had the 'horses' issue come a couple of times in the past and it has always been the same 'if you dont like it you know where to go....' -hes still here 4 years on! Its horrid because in a way it does make me sound uncaring but its not that, I love my boyfriend to bits but at the same time horses are what makes me, me. If I didnt have them in my life god only knows how miserable I would be. In fact, I dont know how 'normal' folk keep themselves entertained?!?
 
When I got divorced, one of the things my now ex husband said that made me realise that it was never meant to be was "She thought that feeding and looking after her horses, dogs and child was more important than feeding and looking after me"!!

Now I'm sorry - but, if horses don't get looked after and fed - they will eventually die if dogs don't get looked after and fed - they will also eventually die, if a baby doesn't get looked after and fed - ditto. 36 year old man - more than capable of foraging for himself.

Call me harsh - but that's how I saw it!
 
My first husband is reported to have said (before we married) that after we were married I wouldnt see the attraction in my horses and I would sell them.

We divorced - I kept my horses and then proceeded to buy another with the payout!

fast forward to current husband - he know i love him, but he knows that the horses and the dog are priority and he gets fed after them. He doesnt question it and he now loves them to pieces.

I would never live in the city - I dont see the attraction, but i guess those who have been raised in the city dont know any different and dont see why i love the smell of muck spreading and why i cant coo over high heels but can over new welly designs! xx
 
Auslander said:
When I got divorced, one of the things my now ex husband said that made me realise that it was never meant to be was "She thought that feeding and looking after her horses, dogs and child was more important than feeding and looking after me"!!

Now I'm sorry - but, if horses don't get looked after and fed - they will eventually die if dogs don't get looked after and fed - they will also eventually die, if a baby doesn't get looked after and fed - ditto. 36 year old man - more than capable of foraging for himself.

Call me harsh - but that's how I saw it!
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Very true! :)
 
My hubby is a born and bred city boy but I dragged him to the countryside and bought him a couple of dogs and he's never looked back lol hasn't got time to think about what he let himself into, he is too busy looking after the dogs and upgrading the horse's fencing lol
 
Heart of a Lion, you may ridicule me, but I have had friends that have put their OH's feelings first and have ended very unhappy bunnies and broken marriages because they sold their horses on because of OH.:(:(:(:(
 
I love my horses but I love my family more. Even my husband (LOL)and definately my children! Do you really honestly love your horses more than your partners? I think thats a bit tragic, love them differently perhaps but MORE!?
 
Echo Bravo said:
Heart of a Lion, you may ridicule me, but I have had friends that have put their OH's feelings first and have ended very unhappy bunnies and broken marriages because they sold their horses on because of OH.:(:(:(:(
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Your friends have to take some responsibility for the decisions they choose to make surely? You can't just blame their OH's simply because it didn't work out.
 
But should somebody have the right to say me or it,could also say that about a child, and it has been asked many times about the pets and the children.So how would you chose?
 
My OH likes to tell people he rates lower than the dog/cat/horses, he seems quite proud of the fact!! :D
As someone else said he can look after himself, the animals cant!
 
My OH certainly knows where he stands, behind the pony, dogs and chinchilla's! :D

It's not that I love them more but they are my top priority, my OH can look after himself whereas my animals can't! He hadn't really owned many pets till moving in with me, now we pretty much run a zoo! :D

I would never dream of giving up anything I love for my OH, then again I am terribly headstrong so I might not be the best example :cool:

I am also a village girl, I couldn't bear to live in a city or large town!!!
 
i love my animals and i love hubby, but he is the least of my priorities - he can fend for himself, He can tell me if he feels sick or if he has broken something. Animals cant. They cant fend for themselves, they cant tell me if they are sick and if they have broken something then its touch and go, not plaster for 6 weeks or so!
But I love my husband and I would do almost anything for him, he knows how much I love the horses and dog and he loves me enough to respect that and not to expect me to put him first when its clear the animals need us more.
 
I would never have to choose.....my husband supports me in anything I do. He bought me 'our' horse.....well mine lol. I think he loves the big guy more than I do! My OH is well upset as am I that we are having to take him to vet school tomorrow. I had my dog when we met (id had dog for 8 years before i met hubby) and the bloody dog loves him more!!!!
go figure! : )

Elizabeth


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