My OH asked THAT question today...

Lived in a city (London!)... never again! In a way had to move out because of hubby, but gained a horse in the process. Now use her as an excuse to never move to a big city again! Thank God hubby isn't the city type.

Though... surely Cambridge isn't as bad as London?
 
I'm also very headstrong & I think he could tell from my reply that living in town was not an option. That would be a deal breaker for me.

It just made me laugh, the first time I've been asked that question & if he's got any sense it'll be the last time. Seems as most our conversations are via email at the mo he probably thought now was the time to ask.

Cambridge is much nicer than London but still not country enough for me. Ideally I would like to stay in the village I grew up in but not sure I will win that battle too.
 
I once asked a lady at a yard I was on, where her husband sat in the priority list of all her animals - 6 cats and one horse...
Well, the husband was 5th in the list, after the horse and three of the cats... :)) it really made me laugh! :D
 
Have a look at the other side of Cambridge ie. Milton, fen ditton both are lovely villages but are about 2 miles from city centre but their own village and fields around both, so village lifestyle with city super close :)
 
mine wouldn't ask he already knows the answer... :D For a minute there I thought we were going to see a ring on a finger... :D:D

Next village seems a nice compromise to me having lived in a busy town and in london its really for when you don't have pets the outskirts you can be a bit more pet friendly.
 
I've grown up in the Oxfordshire/Buckinghamshire country side, with my horse in the next village, (4 min drive) and nearest town about 15 mins drive. However about 18 months ago my boyfriend, who's from the same village my horse lived in moved to Sheffield. I've recently moved up too and although we live on one of the best known streets in Sheffield, having the Peak District so close I'm still a 5 min drive from my horse :) So it's a win win!
 
If anything (except, perhaps later, any kids) came before my OH in my affections then I wouldn't have married him.

And if anything (including Australia) came before 'with me' in being where OH wanted to be then I wouldn't have married him either.

Doesn't have to be that way for everyone but to my mind if you don't think you could love him more than your horse eventually then I'm not sure why you'd bother to consider moving in together anyway.

Happy negotiating!
 
Auslander said:
When I got divorced, one of the things my now ex husband said that made me realise that it was never meant to be was "She thought that feeding and looking after her horses, dogs and child was more important than feeding and looking after me"!!

Now I'm sorry - but, if horses don't get looked after and fed - they will eventually die if dogs don't get looked after and fed - they will also eventually die, if a baby doesn't get looked after and fed - ditto. 36 year old man - more than capable of foraging for himself.

Call me harsh - but that's how I saw it!
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Ugh, man babies make me sick - pathetic. Totally agree with you there.
 
Clodagh said:
I love my horses but I love my family more. Even my husband (LOL)and definately my children! Do you really honestly love your horses more than your partners? I think thats a bit tragic, love them differently perhaps but MORE!?
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This! Find it weird someone could actually love an animal more than their husband?! That stupid question, if you had to save one or the other, surely you would go for your OH?
 
Fortnuately my OH luffs the fat poneh so not an issue. He's even joked about needing to get a better job to pay for the farm on which to put him and playmates on. I think so that keeps me occupied while he plays in his stables...of cars :D

I'm not sure what I would do if he suddenly turned round and asked me to choose. I don't know the history around your OH going to Oz, but to be honest, I would think it pretty rich from my OH to think I would be 100% happy about going to the otherside of the world for 6 months!

And as someone has said, Melborne whole different ball game to any city/town in the UK. He might think he wants to become an urbanite, but only time will tell once he's back!

But a relationship is a 2 way street, he hasn't really played ball by pulling the horse card, but I think you would be unfair to completely rule out living closer to town. Cambridge isn't exactly a sprawling metropolis :D The village midway seems a good plan though.
 
My OH jokes that the horses come 1st but he would never ask me to choose as he knows I woul be heartbroken if I had to get rid of the horses. He knew I was horse mad when he met me. He was a townie through and through but would now never go back to living anywhere but the countryside.
He likes his 'me' time when I'm at the stables - its his PS3 / dog walking / cycling time.

Marriage is about partnership and compromises. Once you get that right you can overcome most obstacles.
 
wench said:
If you love a horse more than a husband/wife there is something seriously wrong!
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Its the point of being made to choose, "Its me or the horse!!" If a partner cared at all for you, they wouldnt make you choose......unless of coarse it was a huge financial worry!
 
Thanks for the replies. It was only started as a bit of a jokey thread but some seem to have taken it quite seriously.

I am only 20 mins from the town centre now & am willing to move a little closer if that's what he wants but don't want to move into Cambridge. He seems to have accepted this & my reasons behind it now. Being that I can't move the horse as he's shared with my mum & sister and it's not fair on me to leave all the care to them & only come to ride, that it's my fun & I don't want to be travelling an hour round trip to see him as it will only become a chore (especially before work), that if I did move him then it would mean taking on all the costs & care myself which he will only complain about if that happens and really I think all those excuses beat "I just don't want to have a car anymore". Particularly when none of his family & friends live in town & actually where I want to live would be closer to them too (in all honesty I think he'd forgotten the last part as when I asked how he would be getting to his parents houses or to see his mates he did have an "oh yea, guess that's a good point" moment).

I'm only 22 & looking to rent for the first time with my boyfriend, as I said I think I'm pretty understanding having accepted he's gone to australia for 6 months as its a great opportunity for him & something that is unlikely to come up again, therefore I think really I can put my foot down at this one thing that means a lot to me & if he doesn't appreciate how much it means to me then maybe he isn't the right person. Horses are a big part of my life & something I'm not willing to give up for anyone. Sad maybe, but true.
 
I think that if you feel that strongly about horses then you have to find someone that accepts that. I have been with OH for 24 years and we did have a spell (kids were 1 and 3 and newly developed diabetes) that he said me or the ponies. i said you know where the suitcases are . I am what I am and animals (over a 100 now ) are just a part of me .
The kids now have 5 ponies between them aswell as 3 dogs and 2 cats , he knows that he is just further down the list for now.
 
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