My poor daughter

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popeyesno1fan

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Hi everyone. I was on here before but its been so long i couldnt even remember my username, never mind password. so i'm here again now.
My daughters first pony was way too hyper for her, so finally, in march, we came across a pony for loan, through a friend that used to own the pony. he was 13hh, 18 yrs old, been there and done it all. she fell instantly in love with him. Popeye, her best friend. She competed in 40cms classes since then, and a few hunter trials. She spent every spare minute with him. She is seven and has been riding for two years. Sadly, we drove in our driveway on Sunday, and Popeye was down in the field. She jumped out of the car and climbed the fence, ran over to him and called him, pulled at his headcollar, shouting popeye, wake up, wake up. I'm traumatised for her, the poor pet. She's lost her best friend. She cried and cried, as did her brother. She sat on my lap on sunday evening, and said "mam, nothing will ever be the same again". broke my heart. this, coming from a little girl that lost her 35 yr old uncle and 50 yr old granduncle in the past 6 mths. Popeye was her first pony friend. I'm heartbroken for her, and i did shed alot of tears for popeye myself. Do I use my saving to replace the pony asap, or should I leave it a while, and let her grieve for Popeye first. I know, if it was me, i'd need time, but eveyone is telling me to replace Popeye straight away. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. (I know she wont say no to another pony, but will it affect the bond, if its too soon).
 
By the way, pic of shauna and Popeye, taken last week.
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I have no advice, I just want to say how sorry I am for you and your daughter's loss, Popeye looks like an absolute darling xxx
 
Your poor little girl indeed. I would talk to your daughter. She will tell you when the time is right. xxx In the meantime, sending best wishes and hugs xxx
 
what a terribly sad story I'm so sorry :(. I wish there was something I could say... any ideas to what happened to cause his death?
 
Don't get another pony straight away you are right, I got Honey barely a week after I lost my old pony and at the time I felt so empty without a pony to care for but was in such a state I shouldn't really have made any big descions for a while after and it took me a lot longer to "grieve" (my pony was on loan and taken back very unexpectedly) and ended up a mess a while later.
Plenty of horsey distractions working on a riding school, lessons or learning something new but don't replace the pony until she's started to get over loosing him.
 
I struggled with my loss and I am many years older. I think you wait until she shows an interest in another pony - but encourage her in that direction. She looks so happy in the photo- best wishes to both of you x
 
Thank you dibbin, we are heartbroken. such a shock, in all my years i never had a horse die, had to have a few pts, but at least i had notice. it's just so hard to comprehend that he's gone. God love her, she was only after saving to buy a new summer sheet for him, he got to wear it for 4 days. rip, poor popeye. xx
 
Poor you and poor daughter.
Unfortunately this is part of keeping horses. It is a shame that she had to experience it so young and so soon after losing relatives.
IMO (as a teacher of young children), the best thing would be to discuss the matter of a new pony with your daughter. The relationship any of us has is different with every horse, so no matter how long (or little) you wait, she is right, things will never be the same, that doesn't mean that she wont love a new pony though.
the only word of caution I would offer about getting a replacement quickly is tobe careful that the next pony is equally suitable as Popeye was - it can be very easy to get carried away when trying to 'replace' an animal in these circumstances.
 
Oh poor thing. It's obvious from the pic how much she loves him. Only advice I can give is from my experience losing a much loved family dog at that kind of age.tried to replace him straight away, but it didn't really work and ended up waiting a bit. It's a bit different if you only have the one pony though because it's not just the pony that's gone but that whole part of her life , grooming, riding etc. perhaps the hole left will be too big?
 
How sad - I am so very sorry for you - it is really hard seeing our children having their hearts broken, not to mention how sad you must be at the loss of Popeye. He looked gorgeous. Don't be surprised though if she is ready to move on quite quickly - children do seem to be remarkably resilient and pragmatic. But don't rush into making the purchase - start looking by all means, but make sure the next one will be as special in their own way. Lots of love. xxxx
 
I would leave replacing the pony for a while, give your daughter time to grieve & start to accept the situation. I feel that if you try & replace now you will be comparing every pony to the one you lost & trying to get another the same which you won't find. They are all different. It is good that a replacement in time will be different but will end up being loved in a different way & won't be trying to compete with the memorys of a lost pony. You will still have the lovely memories of Popeye but will also be able to build new memories with the new pony.
 
I'm really so very sorry to hear this,how heartbreaking..its sad & unbearable enough when your older.. sending hugs to you and your children, your little girl especially-she has been through so much, life is so unfair, but she looks a super little rider and she has known a true friend in Popeye. Perhaps you can talk to her..she will guide you I'm sure, but try not to rush in, make sure its the right pony..maybe tell her this as I'm sure Popeye is looking over you all and will be looking after the relatives you have lost too..he can still be her guardian angel pony..go and see a few when she is ready & maybe see if you can get a trial so you feel more certain... run free sweet Popeye xxx

ps when I lost one i my 20's-the first I lost, I went out immediately and bought 2 sheep within 48 hours. It was a distraction, despite having 5 other horses, I needed a quick fix, they are still with me and wonderful lovely friends they are too...perhaps this may be a suitable distraction if it suits your life/situation, lambs to rear for the summer...tho I would advise looking into the care side & preparing yourself first, it just might help tho xxx
 
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Hi there. Really sorry to read your post. I rarely post on here but had to reply as I know exactly how you feel, we are currently in a very similar situation. My daughter who is 11 lost her best friend Floyd (6yrs) to grass sickness on Friday, needless to say we are all devasted. She was so brave when we went to say goodbye to him & we have all cried buckets since - even the OH who claims not to like horses - strange man!!!! The one thing she is sure about though is that she wants to continue to ride & I know this may sound ridiculous to some, but Floyd was such a genuine people pony that I am sure he would be happy with her decision. Hence Whisper's arrival this evening on a months trial, she does however have a very hard act to follow & as you said I am worried that it may be to soon?? But as the previous poster saidI would talk to your daughter & see what she wants to do.
 
I am filling up with tears reading this ,poor little lass what a terrible shock for her.
I know what it is like for a child to bond so strongly with a pony and how that friendship can be so special that it becomes their whole world. My son had a pony he adored but sadly he had to be pts when my son was 10. It broke his heart but at least I could prepare him for it and he could say goodbye to his much loved friend.
My advice would be let her talk about popeye as often as she wants too. Perhaps make a collage of favorite photos of him to display somewhere. Explain to her that although it is sad that he has gone ,he will never be forgotten. Don't rush into another pony,it will happen when it happens. I am sure you will know when the right pony comes along.
 
Thanks everyone. I think we will take a little time to replace him, i'll start looking but it will be so hard to find a pony that will be as suitable as Popeye was. I counldn't catch the little fecker if i was there forever, and that was his only vice, which we were told about, but shauna could walk out into the field catch him by the forelock and walk him in. it prop will take a while to find a pony of similiar character with the same experience. No pony will ever replace Popeye. he was one of a kind. had the vet out, and without a pm he couldnt say for definite, but he thinks it was a heart attack. Only consolation is that it didnt happen while riding, but it's little consolation. xx
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Sorry for posting another pic, but i'm so proud of shauna and Popeye!!
 
I'm so sorry :( what a horrid shock for your daughter. I know that as an adult it was too hard for me to lose my whole horsey world as well as my best friend so I got a new boy very quickly. So I agree - at least find a way to let her be around horses. Poor mite. Hugs to you and her xx
 
When Ted passed away suddenly Bubs was 6ish?
She was heartbroken and refused to even think about horses. We didn't get her another pony for a while and I think this was the best idea.
Children need to mourn in their own way. With Bubs it was keeping Teds old smelly headcollar under her pillow with a lock of tail. We eventually removed the headcollar after about a week and the hair now lives in a wooden box she decorated herself.
Big Hugs to your daughter.
 
popeyesno1fan said:
Thanks everyone. I think we will take a little time to replace him, i'll start looking but it will be so hard to find a pony that will be as suitable as Popeye was. I counldn't catch the little fecker if i was there forever, and that was his only vice, which we were told about, but shauna could walk out into the field catch him by the forelock and walk him in. it prop will take a while to find a pony of similiar character with the same experience. No pony will ever replace Popeye. he was one of a kind. had the vet out, and without a pm he couldnt say for definite, but he thinks it was a heart attack. Only consolation is that it didnt happen while riding, but it's little consolation. xx
523823_109469875864392_1821905201_n.jpg

Sorry for posting another pic, but i'm so proud of shauna and Popeye!!
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Please don't apologise for posting pitcures - you are right to be proud of Shauna - she looks a cracking little rider. xx
 
OMG, I'm so gutted for you all. On top of everything else my heart goes out to you all. It's never easy losing loved ones or pets but really I believe a new pet straight away is not the answer. You all need time to grieve and decide amongst you all what's best.

Sounds to me that any new pony will come into a very loving home - but just when the times right and you can offer that good home in Popeye's name.

:D:D:D:D:D
 
And my poor cob doesnt know what to do with himself, nobody to play with. xx went from having 5 in for the winter to 1 kinda scary for him, bless him. x
 
popeyesno1fan said:
And my poor cob doesnt know what to do with himself, nobody to play with. xx went from having 5 in for the winter to 1 kinda scary for him, bless him. x
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Awh, poor little Coblet. Do you know anyone who you could borrow a temporary companion for him whilst you consider whether a new pony is the way forward. ?
 
have an ask around locally. Pony club, tack shops ect. Sooner or later a special pony will crop up. I have often found that new horses have a funny way of turning up at the right time. Almost as though it was meant to be.
 
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