My sharer - what do you think?

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lauzbeefy

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Hopefully this isnt a long one but just wanted your opinions please!

I had to stop riding my horse back in October due to finding out I was pregnant and advertised for a sharer. Had two poeple who talked the talk on the phone but when they arrived it turned out they couldnt cope with my mares 'exuberance'. No hard feelings and away they go.

Pretty much gave up all hope of having a sharer and she was quite happy mooching in the field. ANYWAY, along turns up Lady number 3, she caught me on a bad day and i was very grumbly with her but she still wanted to come and try out the horse. So she came and tried her out, loved her and coped with all of her 'tests'.

So after having her teeth done, Lady3 comes to ride her under strict instructions that my mare is 17 years old and although very capable will need bringing back into work gradually and her fitness is paramount. This woman started to get very arrogant and was telling me when and how she was going to ride my horse and going against all the things I asked. (eg not putting on her boots and never texting me to let me know when she was riding.)

She rode her for the first time last Weds, just walking in the school (whilst making derogatory remarks about her schooling and my ability). She then rode on Sunday on a hack with my friend, also just walking (whilst telling my friend, a horse owner for 40 years that she was also incapable of looking after her horse!). Monday night comes and she rides again - telling me that she just happened to pop a cross country fence on her - I was fuming but felt until contract was 100% I would let it pass.

And last night the final straw came when I got the the yard to see a lot of sheepish faces. Sharer passed me in the car park saying she was in a hurry to leave but that she would be doing a 75cm combined training comp in a couple of weeks. For a change I managed to stand up to her and said that I would decide if she was ready. ANYWAY (sorry i go on!) I get to horse who seems very odd, take off her rugs and she is drenched in sweat from head to toe (unclipped). Apparently when she got back to the yard she was in a state. Her fleece rug was so wet you could almost wring the sweat out and horse was still wet through! She said she had done 20 mins schooling and a short hack to cool down and had tried the horse outside stable for an hour to cool down. Then she had chucked turnout rug back on and plonked in the stable. Her back leg was also puffed up!!!

I text her and let her know that I would be cancelling the agreement from there on in! SO moral of the story is character references I suppose!!

Sorry for the essay, would love to hear if you think I am being melodramatic if you havent wilted by this point!!!
 
Sorry, but get rid!

She's your sharer, not a part owner. Anyone who doesn't follow my rules, doesn't touch my horse!
 
I would of challenged it as soon as she commented on the schooling and not warning you when and how she was going to ride.

I would never behave like that towards F's owner, tbh its just rude. SOmeone is letting you ride their horse and the person loaning should remember that
 
I dont think you are being dramatic, I would be fuming. I accept that it is sometimes very easy for a horse to sweat up when being worked unclipped BUT for you to strip the rug off and find your horse still drenched imo is unforgivable.
 
Don't think you are being melodramatic at all, I would have gone off at her before then! If they can't even keep to their end of the bargain at the beginning of the share, they are only going to get worse.
Think you were 100% right to get rid, she sounds like a right pain in the arse!
 
Yikes! To be honest, your sharer sounds like a dreadful person! I do not blame you 100% for terminating the contract.
Ok, some people are rude and obnoxious by nature but there is no excuse for abusing both your horse and your trust.
Hope your horse is ok and the puffy leg goes down. x
 
Good on you, tell her she need'nt bother coming back!!

I had a similar situation with my TB, sharer came up and seemed perfect, talked the talk and was very agreeing when we arranged a detailed back into work regime, as he had been off with various quite severe injuries for about 6 months.
I admit it now, i was too quick to trust....

Second day of riding i have a call from my friend at yard- just seen X finishing off a mammoth jumping session with course set out in the school, and then threw him out in the field. By the time i got up there he was sticky and damp and had 4 massively blown up legs!! Cue another 6 months off work.... to which he sadly never recovered and was pts end of last year :(

This is obviously an extreme case, and i cant blame her for him ultimatley being pts, but just as i had him pain free and ok to bring into work she ruined him!

Always get references and tell that fruit loop to hop it!!
 
Thanks everybody, I did wonder if the 'pregnancy hormones' were playing havoc but after yesterday she confirmed all of my initial fears. Now my OH and Mum feel guilty for persuading me to give her one more chance but hopefully I have nipped it in the bud!

Not only was she rude and obnoxiuos to me but everybody on my yard so we are all pretty glad she has gone!
 
No you aren't being melodramtic- I am actually fuming for you after reading it myself!

Follow previous advice and get rid of her.....good riddence to bad rubbish...pahhh
 
What a nightmare!

I had one woman turn up and pretty much the first things she said were how my lovely natural cob would look so much better hogged, de-feathered and clipped to within an inch of his life.

Lets just say I could tell it would not have worked out...
 
Glad I'm not the only one who's had nut job sharers, I appear to attract them! :( These type ruin it for everyone else as I won't be having another (unless an absolute saint turns up)

You did the right thing getting rid, good riddance!
 
No you did the right thing,i have had it up to here with sharers/part loan people hence why 2 of mine are now for sale,my geldings sharer turned into a full loan however she would vanish off the face of the earth for a couple of weeks here and there and never paid for shoes/livery and always had an excuse for everything,my mare is out on loan to a lovely family but her loan ends in april which will result in her going on the market. I just had enough of people taking the mick and the only person who suffered was me so enough was enough and i took the decision to sell some. Hoping to have just 2 and 1 mare will be put in foal,old boy won't last too much longer so will always keep 2-3 max. 4 is way to many!
 
lubuzz said:
Good on you, tell her she need'nt bother coming back!!

I had a similar situation with my TB, sharer came up and seemed perfect, talked the talk and was very agreeing when we arranged a detailed back into work regime, as he had been off with various quite severe injuries for about 6 months.
I admit it now, i was too quick to trust....

Second day of riding i have a call from my friend at yard- just seen X finishing off a mammoth jumping session with course set out in the school, and then threw him out in the field. By the time i got up there he was sticky and damp and had 4 massively blown up legs!! Cue another 6 months off work.... to which he sadly never recovered and was pts end of last year :(

This is obviously an extreme case, and i cant blame her for him ultimatley being pts, but just as i had him pain free and ok to bring into work she ruined him!

Always get references and tell that fruit loop to hop it!!
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That's absolutely dreadful I am so sorry to hear about your horse. As you say you cant blame her for him being pts but if he had been taken along slowly he could still be hacking gently now. Some people just do not like being told.
 
:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:i think you should tell her to look for another horse far far away from yours tbh.
and i think if someone had used my horse like that and left her in that way i would of beat the s*** out of her (obviously you cant because of bump, congrats btw x)
i defo would not give her another chance. by the sound of it she was treating your horse like her own and you are just the skivy cleaning up after her mistakes and mess. not on at all.
i really hope your mare is ok ? and please dont let that woman back i dont think a telling off will make any difference to her if i am being honest.

i really hope you find a lovely sharer for her i would offer but i think yorkshire is a little bit too far :):):) keep smiling and dont let her get to you. xx:)
 
It is hearing things like this that put me off getting a share for Taz as I'm really fussy over everything luckily at the moment my friend is riding him two days a week while her boy has been turned away, by the time he is back in work light nights will be here and everything will be perfect.

But no I don't think you were being over dramatic I wouldnt have said anything to the share waited intill she was next due to be up and gone through her like a tonne of bricks but thats just what I ankle like especially when it comes to Taz
 
Don't let her near you or your horse again. What a liberty! Your horse will be better off in the field and you don't need the stress of having someone like her around. At least you found out early on what she was like. It would only have become worse if she felt she could rule the roost. Good for you...move on, onwards and upwards!
 
lauzbeefy said:
Thanks everybody, I did wonder if the 'pregnancy hormones' were playing havoc but after yesterday she confirmed all of my initial fears. Now my OH and Mum feel guilty for persuading me to give her one more chance but hopefully I have nipped it in the bud!

Not only was she rude and obnoxiuos to me but everybody on my yard so we are all pretty glad she has gone!
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Wow she's lucky she didn't meet me when I was pregnant- I was a monster that may of caused her bodily harm.

How dare she! It's a privilage to ride someone elses horse and she completely abused your trust and your horse! I would have blown my stack- and knowing me pregnant too- who knows what could have happened! x
 
Lubuzz - that sounds awful, I am hoping Saf's puffy leg is nothing to worry about... Sorry to hear that happened to you, reading that has made me sure that I will not bother looking for another sharer.

We almost have a support group going on here now! Thanks for all the replies

xx
 
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wow are people really that rude?....
Had she of spoken to me like that and tried telling me how to ride MY horse she would've been dragged off the horse and booted out of yard pronto.. :)

Glad you got rid of her though what a pain in ****.

Hope your mare's leg soon goes down poor old girlie
 
Wonder if she's got a relative in Wiltshire ? I had a woman come and try 1 of mine 2 years ago, apparently she used to compete at Medium and Advanced Dressage and used to Show jump at Hickstead. I had some reservations when I saw her ride - she couldn't sit to her canter, the most comfortable canter ever, but the woman hadn't ridden for some years so I put it down to being out of practice.

The first time she came up she schooled my horse, I got there half an hour after she'd finished. Horse was in the field (it was summer), still covered in sweat and lots of black marks all over her body - really didn't look like she'd been washed off. Tried ringing to check if there'd been a problem with the hose - horse can be a bit funny with people she doesn't know, but couldn't get through so texted her. She got really snotty, saying she'd washed her off and couldn't understand why she was being questioned. I explained that I was trying to work out why she had these odd black marks all over her body and why she was still covered in sweat.

Never heard from the woman again, and afterwards the YM took me to one side and said she was glad I'd got rid as the woman had managed to upset almost the whole yard on that visit.

I already had 1 hacking sharer, who I still have but then got another sharer who loved dressage and she was great too. I'm down to just the 1 sharer now and although she doesn't give me very much notice about when she's riding, she's lovely, always lets me know if she's got Ziz sweaty / left her in / had any problems etc. I trust her with my horse and have learnt to trust my instincts.
 
I think you've got the patience of a saint and I'd have got rid long before!
Don't think all sharers are like that though...there's a small handful of us out there who are good'uns! ;)
I've been sharing with a lady now for 8 years with 2 different horses :) can't be all bad!
K x
 
I could actually feel my blood boiling as i read that. I think if that was me I would be telling her to pee off and she would get a swift slap around the chops....cheeky b*tch.
 
zandp said:
apparently she used to compete at Medium and Advanced Dressage and used to Show jump at Hickstead.
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Haha I had a few of those come to try my boy as I would only let experienced riders try him (hes jumped 1.30 competitively and done medium dressage) as although hes very safe and sane I need him ridden properly if they wanted to do more than hack!! I had to turn down a grand total of 7 people before finding my current sharer and took 2 on that I had to then terminate our agreement as they rode him well then either became uber controlling and tried to tell me not to ride him as they had their own work schedule (they got 2-3 days per week haha) and one didnt turn up till 11.30am (I had said 8am latest if wanting left in in the morning, if she wanted to come later its fine she just has to let me know as I will have him turned out and she can bring in to ride!). The right people are out there though, its just finding someone who suits the way you manage your horse and they manage their time (current lady comes up two evening a week after work and one weekend daytime - perfect!) :)
 
You were right to get rid. I've had a couple of bad sharers and a couple of good ones, it's just finding the good one's. I've also had people try her who I could tell I wouldn't get on with e.g. one woman who tried her (mid day) and then I was talking to her in stable and she said 'are you not going to put a rug on her?' and couple of other little comments, like I wouldn't do it that way. I like things doing my way as it's my horse so she was a no no.
 
She sounds awful - don't blame you for getting rid! Some people are just incurably stupid. I hope you manage to find someone more suitable.

When my fairly novice friend was looking for a sharer for her cob I helped her vet people. There were some serious nutters - notably the lady who turned up with her own SIDESADDLE and expected us to let her ride in it!

Not 'I really like riding sidesaddle - would you consider allowing your horse to be trained for this'. She just brought it with her and - presumably - would have plonked it on the horse and ridden off if we hadn't politely turned her down.

I have a sort of part loan agreement (not really a conventional share), which wouldn't suit lots of people but works for me, the horse, my co-loaner and the horse's owner. Sometimes we have to make compromises, but never over the horse's welfare. As KelleysHeroes says, good sharers are out there, and sometimes it can be great!
 
I would be horrified! Its such a shame people do these things. It gives sharers and loaners a bad name, and being a sharer myself, I sympathise with good sharers/loaners who cant find a horse because of the reputaion.

I have loaned horses out but only locally, through pony club etc. But these cases put you off adverts and people you dont know - but I think references from instructors/yard owners etc are the way to go.

Sorry for your poor horse! I hope theres no long term damage.
Good luck finding a better sharer!
 
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