My Stress and Question on Horse Dealing with it?

Chavhorse

Chavhorse

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Just wanting a bit of reassurance really and hoping I do not come over as completely mad

Just to give you some background, for the last month I have been signed off work as I have suffered a stress related breakdown. I am very aware that I am not 100% at the moment and so have handed all the training and riding of Vardi back to my Trainer and his daughter as to be honest my head is not in the right place to do calm and confidence giving at the moment.

I have been going in daily and giving him a good groom or just spending an hour chatting and rubbing the sweet spots

The last few times I have been down to see him he has insisted in licking me all over, to the extent of pulling off my gloves and my hat so he can can lick my hands and my head and neck (this is not normal behavior from him at all).

If I go down to see him in the field he will walk away from the others and is happy to stand for as long as I like just being rubbed and nibbling at me, when I go to walk out of the field he follows me right up to the gate then walks the entire length of the fence line with me until I get back to the yard gate. Again this is odd as under normal circumstances he would allow you to approach him in the field and have a quick" hi mum" then it would "sorry I want to play with my mates bye"

The main thing I have noticed is that when I am interacting with him after about 5 mins he starts yawning and will then yawn constantly for 10 to 15 mins then stop again this is not normal behavior for him at all.

I suppose my question is am I stressing him out at the moment and should I just keep away until my head is a bit straighter?

I do know that in the past when Vardi was seriously ill and I was spending a lot of time just sitting in his stable with him and I would end up yawning like crazy.

One of my Yard Mates who does Quantum Touch says that she thinks we have such a good bond that he is simply returning the favor to me and is taking on my negative vibes and yawning his his way of getting rid of them.

All I know is I do feel 100% better when I have spent time with him but do not in any way want him to have to deal with this (hence my handing over the difficult stuff to my trainer to deal with).

Any thoughts or shall I just keep taking the tablets?
 
Just keep taking the tablets!! :)

If he is not getting stressed when you leave him and is happy then i would definately not stop going to see him, animals are in our lives for a reason and maybe his purpose is to help you heal.

As for the licking, does he have access to a salt or mineral lick? (it may just be a comfort thing but you never know)

Wishing you a speedy recovery :)
 
IMO youve just really bonded since you stopped working him and hes obviously enjoying and loving spending the time with you! When you go to his field/stable hes not thinking ohh i really would rather stay with my friends/eat/sleep hes thinkingyay im going to get a nice groom and fuss :) As much as i think horses can read us like a book, that doesnt mean because you are stressed he will be. Carry on enjoying him!
 
I to am totally stressed out, like you feel on the verge of a breakdown and my horse is acting quite differently, being far more affectionate , i do think they pick up on our unhappiness and are trying to comfort us.
 
I thik he's just trying to help you. My first horse D was the least cuddly horse you could meet but every now and then she would surprise you. One day my sharer was in floods of tears and she just stood and let her cry into her neck for as long as she needed. They know when we just need to be with them, don't stay away from him, let him help you.
 
My Grandad died at the end of October and I tried to keep it together in front of the family but as soon as I stepped into my Traditional Mares Stable, Ellie, I would burst into tears and start sobbing into her mane she would twist her head round and rest it on my back for as long as I wanted. I have owned this horse for 10 years and we have been through so much together and she definately knows when something is wrong and reacts to it but I dont think it has caused her stress she just tries to help in her own way. I wouldnt worry about seeing him as I think it would do both of you more damage as he is clearly bonded to you and it is definately a form of therapy for you to be out with him and spending time relaxing grooming him.
 
You're not mad (well, you may be, but not this post :) ) - they definitely try to comfort you when you are down. He's just trying to help, don't let him think you have abandoned him, keep going and accept his help.

I hope you get well soon, depression is nasty thing.
 
You're not stressing him out; think of the physical signs you would see in a stressed horse - he doesn't sound it from your descriptions.

I had one of those moments yesterday. I have got so so much on my mind at the moment and the moment I walked into Bailey's stable I burst into tears. He stood and let me hug him for as long as I needed, snuffed my face and licked my tears before pulling my gloves off and licking my hands until I had calmed down. Once he "checked" me over before conceding that I was a bit better he began doing all the little things that make me laugh.

I think they know when we aren't our usual selves - they can read our body language and see when its not right. Best friends you could ever have :)

Enjpy him taking some time out to help you out :)
 
He is healing you, bless him! He is loving you the way you love him, but obviously can't use his hooves to stroke so is using his mouth to comfort you. I would imagine that the yawning (for both of you) is something to do with sending vibes and relaxing, when you are healing you tend to clear your mind and relax, he will be doing this just as you did when you were sat with him through his illness. Let him help you and take comfort in the thought that you have this creature that loves you enough to give you this gift. I really hope you feel better soon.
 
As the others have said, these aren't the signs of a stressed out horse, they are the signs of a horse who is looking after you. They all know when we're down and we need a cuddle. (except mine who just gets angry with me for not thinking about him all the time :rolleyes: ) I know how you feel right now and animals really helped me when I had a breakdown so keep seeing him every day. It will really speed up your recovery and as you can see it will make your bond much stronger.

I hope you feel better soon - lots of walks with the dogs and cuddles were what got me through.
 
Horses can be wonderful healers, how lucky for you to have such a wonderful one in your life :)

When I was learning reiki and equine massage, we were taught that yawning is a classic sign of a release, be it physical or emotional. I agree with others that he is probably absorbing the negative stuff from you and releasing it - which would fit with you saying he makes you feel so much better.

I say carry on as you are doing, as long as he his happy with it :) I would keep it his choice, and try to understand what he wants to tell you, because there may be days when for his own health and wellbeing he needs to not do that, or even that you need him to say thats enough, and I think its important that he has the freedom to make that choice, if that makes any sense.

I have been off sick with stress myself, and it was horrible. :( Hope you're feeling better soon, and you're welcome to PM me if you want to for anything :)
 
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I'm sorry you are less than 100% yourself. I think your worry about Vardi is another symptom of your own stress.
As I have volunteered for many years with RDA, working mainly with riders with learning difficulties and mental health issues, I can tell you that horses respond to their riders/owners moods. As Vardi knows you so well, I'm sure that he is trying to make you feel better.
Keep on visiting him.
 
My mare is completely un-cuddly and fairly oblivious - until I'm not 100%. I broke a bone in my foot last year and to my complete surprise she adjusted her pace so I could walk her comfortably, kept sniffing and checking my foot, was wonderfully affectionate and even walked carefully around the farm with me riding her in a cast.

Your horse sounds like he's doing the same - trying to help you as much as he can. Keep seeing him - he sounds like lovely therapy. I hope the New Year brings you relief from the stress.
 
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