Naughty horse...help!

nikolethompson said:
yes this is definitely what I want to do. I don't want to give up on him. he's not a nasty horse he's just stubborn and tries it on. He has cow kicked twice and reared once. When I said bolting, he only moves a few paces and has never gotten out of my grip. I need help changing my mindset. I finish work at 5pm and I am going up to him, I brought him in last night so he's in the stable today so will be dying to get out, but I am going to groom him, pick his feet and ride him even if it takes me all night. He is better for my husband but he is a lot bigger than me. when he shuffles tied up I do push him back. I move him where I want him. I don't mind so much if he shuffles when ive finished but maybe I should push him where I want him even then?
I know people on here are only trying to tell me to give him back to safe me having an accident, but after 6 weeks I do not see this as an option just yet. I want help and advise which is why I posted on here x
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I'm sorry but keeping him in and then expecting him to do what you can't get him to do on normal days is just silly, imo. He will be more anxious than ever to get back out, he will shuffle more, refuse to pick up his feet and generally refuse to do what you want/ignore you.
FGS put him out this evening without fussing with him, which will just reinforce that he can do what he wants and on another day just go and catch him, give him a small bucket feed just outside the gate and put him back, take very small steps and reward him for doing the right thing. Set clear boundaries, because he WILL push them.
But my strongest advice is to send him back to his owner and let them deal with him, as it seems that they have taught him very little up to now.
 
OP, he's not stubborn, just uneducated - and sadly in the wrong hands.

As you don't know what you're doing either get a professional in or send him back.
 
I agree with what everyone has replied with . This wee horse sounds like he's not been educated at all and it doesn't sound like you can improve the situation without professional help and I mean that in the nicest possible way . I would send him back as he isn't even yours , unless you want to buy him outright and tackle him from scratch it will be a very long, expensive and emotional process . Have you spoken to the owner at all about everything ? TBH if the shoe was on the other foot I would be mortified at the thought of my horse becoming so 'naughty' while out on loan .

ETA - I'd be doubtful if he has had any boundaries taught back home , I can't understand what owner in their right mind keeps their horse in for a year incase they get bullied ... surely there was a way round it .
 
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He is very loveable! I came to this forum for help as my yard is so quiet there isn't anyone there really after hours. I have enlisted a trustworthy instructor to come out a few times a week to give us a hand :)
 
holeymoley said:
I agree with what everyone has replied with . This wee horse sounds like he's not been educated at all and it doesn't sound like you can improve the situation without professional help and I mean that in the nicest possible way . I would send him back as he isn't even yours , unless you want to buy him outright and tackle him from scratch it will be a very long, expensive and emotional process . Have you spoken to the owner at all about everything ? TBH if the shoe was on the other foot I would be mortified at the thought of my horse becoming so 'naughty' while out on loan .

ETA - I'd be doubtful if he has had any boundaries taught back home , I can't understand what owner in their right mind keeps their horse in for a year incase they get bullied ... surely there was a way round it .
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she just keeps saying 'oh he can be like that' but when I took him, and all the times I visited him he was just sad all the time. He had been stuck in for so long he was just sad. he's really come to life now and is cheeky and has such a character. I wouldn't sleep at night sending him back to a stable 24/7 and 10 minutes of human interaction a day.
I am going to keep going, but in the meantime carry on looking for an older LWVTB. The last horse I bought and had vet checked ended up being a total loon, much much worse than he is now with existing health issues that no one picked up on until I had bought him, hence the reason I am only wanting a LWVTB for minimum of 8 weeks
 
nikolethompson said:
He is very loveable! I came to this forum for help as my yard is so quiet there isn't anyone there really after hours. I have enlisted a trustworthy instructor to come out a few times a week to give us a hand :)
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Sounds like a sensible plan - and they can change quite quickly once they understand the boundaries. I believe all horses benefit from consistency and, once you establish that, they can move forward. I think it helps them to feel secure and that always benefits behaviour.
 
amymay said:
OP, he's not stubborn, just uneducated - and sadly in the wrong hands.

As you don't know what you're doing either get a professional in or send him back.
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Spot on.

However I think that sending him back is the better option, I just don't the OP and the horse she has as a good match at all, even with professional help.

nikolethompson said:
I brought him in last night so he's in the stable today so will be dying to get out, but I am going to groom him, pick his feet and ride him even if it takes me all night.
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Frankly you are setting yourself and the horse up for total failure. I just don't see that you have the correct knowledge or approach to help this horse.

My thoughts are as those of PAS below.

I'm sorry but keeping him in and then expecting him to do what you can't get him to do on normal days is just silly, imo. He will be more anxious than ever to get back out, he will shuffle more, refuse to pick up his feet and generally refuse to do what you want/ignore you.
FGS put him out this evening without fussing with him, which will just reinforce that he can do what he wants and on another day just go and catch him, give him a small bucket feed just outside the gate and put him back, take very small steps and reward him for doing the right thing. Set clear boundaries, because he WILL push them.
But my strongest advice is to send him back to his owner and let them deal with him, as it seems that they have taught him very little up to now.
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ETA - I also wanted to note that horses don't learn well when they are stressed, so it really is important to have the horse in a good state of mind and capable of concentrating when you want to do a training session. You are going to have much more success if everyone (the horse and yourself) is nice and calm.
 
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Ok, good that you're going to get someone in to help. And i do understand the trasons for not wanting to send him back. Don't look for another horse - spend your money on getting all the help you can.

Out of interest, how much are you buying him for?
 
Crikey, I wouldn't be doing any grooming and picking out of feet on a horse that has zero respect for you, no respect for your personal space, and has cow kicked, reared and tried to bolt. Why would you put yourself in danger this way?
Why don't you start with groundwork simply on respecting your personal space and then leading. Get some desensitization work done before you go anywhere near is back end or legs. Another one for professional help or send back.
 
So if you really want to give this a go then my thoughts would be;

Don't plan to ride for the next 3 months. Concentrate on the ground work.

Wear a hat.

For a week bring him in (bribe with a carrot), fuss him, feed him and turn him out. Ignore feet. Insist on leading nicely (a dually might be a good idea). Hopefully he'll start to associate being caught with nice stuff. Keep him in a routine.

Then start to teach him to lunge. Not every night and just for 15 mins or so. Walk him over the odd pole, maybe a walk down the lane - insisting on perfect behaviour being led. Make sure you can direct his feet - backwards, turning etc.

I wouldn't go near picking out his feet until he's standing nicely, being led properly and generally being nice on the ground. Then that's time to start on the more tricky areas. I wouldn't get on him until I was 100% happy he was behaving on the ground.

Project horses are for the long term and not all become the safe, reliable rides we want. If you'd rather be enjoying the summer evenings hacking out then I suspect you'll still be going into winter with all of these issues.

Please be careful. I have a mare that has seriously hurt people who were out of their depth. She will spend the rest of her days with me and I am very, very cautious about who handles her.
 
As others have said if I were you I'd probably send him back, but I'm a wuss and you may not be.
What you need to do is just work on one thing at a time. With a 'baby' horse, which this one sounds a lot like (well he sounds like an unhandled, wild, crazy baby actually)you would do short, sharp, productive lessons: e.g. ten mins end on a good note. Even if 'a good note' is getting a headcollar on him, then getting him to go back a step when asked....to me it sounds like he has NO respect for a person.
When he 'puts his head on your boobs' that's disrespectful, he shouldn't be just waltzing up into your personal space like that, he should only come into your space when asked, particularly if he also cow kicks/acts up in other ways. He needs to know boundaries, all babies do, and believe it or not it actually reassures them somewhat to know they don't have to look after themselves and you will do it for them! 'Showing them who's boss' (in a nice way!!) can stop spookiness because they will trust.
Start slow and simple, don't try to ride, lunge, anything like that. Do the very very basic stuff first and try and find an expert to help, I wouldn't handle a horse like yours by myself imo in case he did something god-awful to me and there was no one there to help.
 
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nikolethompson said:
I am going up tonight, I am going to bring him in, groom him, pick his feet and ride him because I can. it may take hours but we will get there. x
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nikolethompson said:
I brought him in last night so he's in the stable today so will be dying to get out, but I am going to groom him, pick his feet and ride him even if it takes me all night.
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I'm sorry, but I think it is becoming clear why this horse has been going backwards with you so far. Having set yourself up for failure by choosing the worse time to work with him, when you know he is dying to go out, you are then going to attempt to do everything all in one night, with no particular goal in mind and a plan to keep going for hours whatever rather than stopping on a good note. Your plan and attitude is a total recipe for disaster.

Please, please, please if you do intend to keep him take the good advice on here, e.g. from SEL. Give up on riding for now and choose something small and achievable to work on in small, positive sessions. Keep yourself safe and set both you and the horse up for success in your choice of timing and activity.

The Kelly Marks book Perfect Manners would be a good resource for you with exercises to work through.
 
I think if you are really determined to stick with this horse then you need to bite the bullet and be prepared to spend some money.

I would be inclined to find a professional yard with a really good reputation who takes in horses for schooling and handling. He needs to be on a routine and be handled consistently to learn his boundaries, hopefully then after a few weeks then you can begin to visit and take over the handling and riding gradually, when everything is going well and you are confident you can then get him home. It sounds like you are getting nowhere at the moment in your current situation. I think it would be money and time well spent. Make sure though that if you go down this route then the owner of the horse cannot just take him back from under you. I can understand why you don't want to return him to his previous miserable lifestyle of no turnout.
 
Nothing more clever than an uneducated and poorly started young cob. Not one of the problems listed would be happening if the horse had been correctly halter broken in the first few months of life and then handled correctly gong forwards.

Reading through the comments, my advice would be for the OP to stop handling the horse and send it to an old fashioned nagsman for a month, then have two weeks of going to the nagsman's yard and handle/ride the horse with the nagsman's guidance. The cob will come home polite, educated and able to fulfil a useful fun filled life for the OP.

It is a simple fix, no food, no treats, no cuddles. Just set boundaries, firm fairness, the installing of pressure and release and a bit of blue pipe in the right hands.
 
SEL said:
So if you really want to give this a go then my thoughts would be;

Don't plan to ride for the next 3 months. Concentrate on the ground work.

Wear a hat.

For a week bring him in (bribe with a carrot), fuss him, feed him and turn him out. Ignore feet. Insist on leading nicely (a dually might be a good idea). Hopefully he'll start to associate being caught with nice stuff. Keep him in a routine.

Then start to teach him to lunge. Not every night and just for 15 mins or so. Walk him over the odd pole, maybe a walk down the lane - insisting on perfect behaviour being led. Make sure you can direct his feet - backwards, turning etc.

I wouldn't go near picking out his feet until he's standing nicely, being led properly and generally being nice on the ground. Then that's time to start on the more tricky areas. I wouldn't get on him until I was 100% happy he was behaving on the ground.

Project horses are for the long term and not all become the safe, reliable rides we want. If you'd rather be enjoying the summer evenings hacking out then I suspect you'll still be going into winter with all of these issues.

Please be careful. I have a mare that has seriously hurt people who were out of their depth. She will spend the rest of her days with me and I am very, very cautious about who handles her.
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thank you so much for your advice,

last night I went up and managed to get him to the stable, for those wondering how he was back out after my husband brought him in the night before, the yard manager put him out for me in the morning as I really don't like leaving him in all day.

I gave him a quick groom and released him back into the field. he was stompy on the ground and trying to pull himself loose from the leadrope but after he calmed down I praised him, gave him an apple and then put him back in the field. it took 45 minutes to get him from the field to the gate, then another 10 minutes to the stable! he is good to walk up to and put the headcollar on then we just hit a brick wall. I keep looking straight ahead, following advice of a trainer I avoid eye contact and stay firm and tell him to walk. I make him walk side to side if he refuses and then he will walk a couple of steps (with his head in a bucket of feed) its a long long process and there is an idiot of a WSD in there who runs over to us constantly bucking and kicking out which really doesn't help but we got there for the first time ever. I sat at home last night with my husband in tears discussing everyones replies, the fact that the majority have told me to give him back and saying I am basically not good enough has knocked my confidence even more. I barely slept last night but I have decided to keep trying with ground work to see if his manners improve over the next month. if I don't see any improvement in the next 4 weeks then I will give my months notice to hand him back. My mum who is a semi-professional dressage rider, her trainer and my sister who hunts and competes regularly are all supporting me and my decision.
I have owned horses for 15 years, including youngsters, TB, arabs and other 'tricky' horses but as most of you probably know your confidence with horses massively drops when you have children, your thoughts for your safety change instantly and you see life through your childrens eyes. I am a mother and a wife first and foremost and I will not put myself in danger, so I think baby steps with the horse is what needs to happen and hopefully as our relationship gets stronger his behaviour will change.

I am going up again tonight with another girl from the yard who said she will bring her horse in at the same time to see if this helps. Putting him out last night for the first time ever he didn't jog to the field. I made sure I walked slow and steady and kept him behind my shoulder. when I stopped he stopped and I stopped a few times to test this. As soon as we got to the first gate it was a different story and he couldn't wait to get through, then when he saw the horses he was getting excited and whinnying but he stayed with me so I think this is a little bit of progress.
 
nikolethompson said:
I make him walk side to side if he refuses and then he will walk a couple of steps (with his head in a bucket of feed) its a long long process and there is an idiot of a WSD in there who runs over to us constantly bucking and kicking out which really doesn't help but we got there for the first time ever.
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Please don't take a bucket of feed into the field with multiple horses like this. You will get hurt.
 
I'm sorry to hear you've been upset by the replies on here.. I certainly didn't mean to knock your confidence. Everyone only has your best interests at heart and no one wants to hear in a few weeks that this horse has seriously hurt you - hence the advice to send him back as he has gone backwards in the time you've had him. So many times people over horse themselves and it can quickly turn into a dangerous situation.

If you've persevering, then definitely get a professional out to help, they can show you techniques to use when he starts being a handful. They'll be able to show you how to lunge him and what to do when he comes towards you etc etc. You need to take small steps and only try and tackle one thing at a time, if you try and do everything it'll be too much for him.

Also be careful taking a bucket of feed into a field with other horses, if another horse decides they want the bucket they might try and chase your horse away and hurt you.

Good luck, I hope he does come round for you but be prepared for a long road ahead until you're happily hacking out on him.
 
Gloi said:
Please don't take a bucket of feed into the field with multiple horses like this. You will get hurt.
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Absolutely agree with this. Really asking for trouble. Surprised you haven't been caught in the middle of them yet, and the other horses haven't ended up battering each other.
I suggest you get yourself a Dually headcollar and a professional who knows how to use one. It sounds like this horse doesn't understand the idea of pressure/release. Personally I would work on getting him to simply understand that concept first. Even if it's a case of walking a few steps forward, then backward, sideways etc. until he responds quickly and calmly. A professional could achieve this in minutes. I'd forget about food treats too. He must learn to respect your requests and your space. Treats at this stage will muddy the waters.

With the best will in the world, without professional help I don't feel you'll get anywhere fast, resulting in a very confused horse and your confidence being depleted more. Good luck.
 
No one meant to knock your confidence, but the reality is that horse riding and horses should be a pleasure, and you are currently sitting in tears and losing confidence.

At the moment you are over-horsed - there is nothing wrong with that, it usually happens to everyone at some stage with horses.

We get rescues in and horses like this can be the worst to handle. A friend got one and had it professionally broken and it was a saint, then it went to a nervous owner and turned into a monster and she still has issues two years down the line fixing the issues. My friend is extremely experienced, and she spends ever session with this horse constantly re-inforcing boundaries and behaviours, and really going hard on it when it gets bargey. It will never settle to be a saint of a pony - it will always be a clever, wiley horse with a very cheeky character who will push its luck if it thinks it can get away with something. You are not doing the horse, or yourself and favours. You will get seriously hurt, even the idea of taking a feed bucket into a field with multiple horses will just lead you to getting trampled.

It can be very frustrating seeing posts coming on and proudly declaring they will stick with a horse until they 'fix' it. and sometimes down the line they do, but its after years of heartbreak and injury. There is no joy in that for either the horse or you. And in reality, the horses are never 'fixed', the riders just end up coping with their issues, and accepting a horse's behaviour.

The chances are this horse will never turn into a horse that is suitable for you.

Analyse the situation and be honest with yourself about why are sticking with it. If it's because of pride or because you think you should - then they are the wrong reasons. Both for you and the horse. That horse could easily go to another owner who would have no hesitation giving it a few wallops if it pushed into them on the ground ,and then happily taking it out hunting/fun riding etc where it would be a tired, happy horse who can use its brains to do a job instead of cause trouble.

People don't stick with their first boyfriends, for example, in the vain hope that even if things were bad and you were incompatible that if you put in enough effort it would come right. You realise that some things click, and just work well. And then some things you don't. Personalitywise you and this horse don't seem like a good fit. Why not make both of you happier and return him. You deserve a horse that is safe and fun.
 
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nikolethompson said:
thank you so much for your advice,

last night I went up and managed to get him to the stable, for those wondering how he was back out after my husband brought him in the night before, the yard manager put him out for me in the morning as I really don't like leaving him in all day.

I gave him a quick groom and released him back into the field. he was stompy on the ground and trying to pull himself loose from the leadrope but after he calmed down I praised him, gave him an apple and then put him back in the field. it took 45 minutes to get him from the field to the gate, then another 10 minutes to the stable! he is good to walk up to and put the headcollar on then we just hit a brick wall. I keep looking straight ahead, following advice of a trainer I avoid eye contact and stay firm and tell him to walk. I make him walk side to side if he refuses and then he will walk a couple of steps (with his head in a bucket of feed) its a long long process and there is an idiot of a WSD in there who runs over to us constantly bucking and kicking out which really doesn't help but we got there for the first time ever. I sat at home last night with my husband in tears discussing everyones replies, the fact that the majority have told me to give him back and saying I am basically not good enough has knocked my confidence even more. I barely slept last night but I have decided to keep trying with ground work to see if his manners improve over the next month. if I don't see any improvement in the next 4 weeks then I will give my months notice to hand him back. My mum who is a semi-professional dressage rider, her trainer and my sister who hunts and competes regularly are all supporting me and my decision.
I have owned horses for 15 years, including youngsters, TB, arabs and other 'tricky' horses but as most of you probably know your confidence with horses massively drops when you have children, your thoughts for your safety change instantly and you see life through your childrens eyes. I am a mother and a wife first and foremost and I will not put myself in danger, so I think baby steps with the horse is what needs to happen and hopefully as our relationship gets stronger his behaviour will change.

I am going up again tonight with another girl from the yard who said she will bring her horse in at the same time to see if this helps. Putting him out last night for the first time ever he didn't jog to the field. I made sure I walked slow and steady and kept him behind my shoulder. when I stopped he stopped and I stopped a few times to test this. As soon as we got to the first gate it was a different story and he couldn't wait to get through, then when he saw the horses he was getting excited and whinnying but he stayed with me so I think this is a little bit of progress.
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As promised I will tell you about my night .... Went to the yard and when my horses saw the car they started coming over so by the time I got out of the car and onto my yard they were waiting for me. I left the gelding in the field and tied the mare up, picked her feet out, flicked the brush over her (she's rotten, why bother trying to clean her!) Then I put her bridle on and lunging equipment (I use the Equiami) and off we plodded to the middle paddock .. not usually where I lunge but hey, doesnt matter. We did twenty minutes of lovely walk to trot transitions on the lunge, both reins. Nice slow relaxed walk back to the yard past the gelding eyeing me suspiciously .....

Mare got a flick of the brush where her tack had been, her nose and eyes wiped with baby wipes (Im obsessed with clean nose and eyes) and head collar off, she made her way the few feet to the field by herself.

Gelding in, repeated process, so twenty minutes in a nice relaxed lunging session and he was done, both were fed, given a pat and left alone. Dog and I played ball whilst I poo picked and off I went home.

My evening was trouble free, both horses happy, me happy ... dog happy. That is how life with horses is supposed to be and if its not then you need to re think your game plan!
 
Im glad you are making some progress. He sounds as if he hasn't even been taught to lead.
Please be aware that if you tell the owner the cob's behaviour has improved dramatically they will probably hike the price or decide they couldn't possibly sell their beloved horse.
Good Luck.
 
I can understand your dilemma being new to horse ownership myself but for me this horse would be way to much no matter how much I liked them. My horse is very placid and well behaved most of the time but when he tests me an issue like not picking one foot up... if I let him get away with it once, twice it escalates into a huge issue and we need to take him back to the start to reestablish the rules. I luckily have very experienced people helping me at my yard ensuring I don't go down a bad path.

You earlier reply of "how do you learn with out experiencing this ect"

To some extent that is true but would you try and drive a Ferrari on your first ever driving lesson? if you were wanted to climb a mountain would you really start with Everist? if you were learning to swim would you start trying to swim the channel.

I think it is admirable you want to try but I think you need something not quiet as challenging, a been there done that maybe with a few vices but nothing that needs a knowledgeable owner... if you take the plunge and keep them in a year or so he will be out of control, rude and in need of a lot more help.

xx
 
nikolethompson said:
Hi all :)

I have a horse on LWVTB and I have completely fallen for him



any advice/help much appreciated as I am coming to a dead end and I totally love him to death
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I dont understand how you can even like him tbh let alone love him, he doesnt sound nice to have around-you are going to get hurt. send him back, look for something more suitable.

And I'm not being nasty. fwiw I have a younger horse that I realised is almost certainly not for me. I've owned him since a yearling so have had him a few years. I got him to a point and couldnt get him any further and I've had the breed from youngsters before. I am spending some money on him right now and sent him away to someone who'll do a good job with him. In august I'll reasses and either up my game or sell him-he'll at least have a better chance now with some months under the saddle. Its no shame to move onto another horse if the one you have doesnt suit.
 
OP, If you send the horse back it probably won't spend the whole rest of its life inside. It will probably be sold to someone else who may/may not be a great owner for it. Just the same as many other horses on the market that might suit you better.

You clearly have love and commitment to give to a horse. I'd really encourage you to think of those as positives... and positives that could perhaps more easily benefit another horse. If you find, in a few weeks or months time, that this one isn't for you he will likely be harder to rehome than if he goes back and gets sold from the original yard now.

And another horse, who might benefit from a home for life with you, won't have had the opportunity. I completely understand your commitment but I also understand your commitment to your kids. You can find a horse who can benefit from the first without being as much of a risk to the second (all horses are risky, but some are more fun!).

I'm sure this horse could be lovely for someone but he sounds more like a project than a happy hack at present. So, he needs to go to a home that will bring him on (unless you can afford a very significant amount of schooling livery/lots of your instructor's time (and that instructor needs to be experienced bringing on young horses

Very best of luck. I'm sure you'll be a lovely owner for the right horse. Whoever that turns out to be.
 
If you're going to keep it, put it with a trainer used to breaking youngsters for 30 days. No shame in being overhorsed and either sending it to boot camp or back to its owners. I know of two posters on this board who have years of experience, far more than 15, but ended up with difficult horses who they felt were beyond their skills. One sent her horse to a pro, the other sold hers on. It doesn't mean they are useless horsewomen -- it means they had the sense to see that they alone could not fix the problem and dealt with it.

I get that you want to keep it because you have fallen in love with it. But in my experience, it isn't hard to fall for a horse. Most of them have that equine mystique that will draw you in. It's why most of us are here. Imagine, if you had one that was easy to handle and ride, you would like it even more!
 
I'm not sure I'd be investing much money into the training of a horse that's currently on LWVTB as it wouldn't be the first time an unscrupulous owner has decided to up the price or no longer wants to sell once the issues have been ironed out.

OP you mentioned you've had a confidence dip since having a family, which is totally understandable, but is also the reason I'd be seriously considering handing this horse back and looking for something more established that you can just crack on with and enjoy.

FWIW I once had a very similar sounding cob. He came to me as a 6yo who'd been cut late and then done very little...he had essentially been a field ornament so it was a bit of a culture shock for him when he found himself with me. He was bolshy, stubborn and downright rude at times.

Fortunately I had 20 years of experience to lean on and the time to invest in him which meant I could go at a slow pace and ensure that he was always set up for success. The trouble with him was that you could never let him get away with anything. If you gave an inch he'd take a mile, so you really needed to have a set plan in mind each day and really commit to it else you'd spend weeks undoing whatever new trick he'd discovered. I had him nearly 4 years in the end, in which time he went from the sort that would buck in your face on the lunge and would nap coming in from the field to a horse that you could bring in without a headcollar and responded to just voice aids but it took consistent work to get there and I lost count of the times I cried over his behaviour. I ended up selling him as whilst I loved him I ultimately didn't get any enjoyment from him and found his stubborn personality frustrating.

I now have my dream horse, a gorgeous chestnut gelding who is a pleasure to do in every way and has brought on my riding in a way I could never have imagined and continues to help me push outside of my comfort zone as even at his worst he still fills me with confidence. I'd honestly forgotten how much fun having a horse could be until him.
 
Just a quick update;

I have today messaged the owner telling her everything that's been happening, explaining how much I love him and how much I have been trying. I told her that I was getting a trainer in to help us and she's basically said he's never been bad and it's all my fault! I have been really upset (again) because this definitely is not the case! even the yard owner has said from day 1 that he isn't sound and he needs a strong man to handle him.

She is claiming that he's never had any of these issues, but with him being stabled for so long I cannot see how this is the case. Surely she kept him in because he is a nightmare coming in from the field? Surely she never rode him because he was never backed properly? He never lunged because he's never been taught? She said he was vice free, I am now almost convinced by her reaction that he was doped all the times I viewed him.

She actually said to me looking back on it, "it's not like I'm going to let you do all of the hard work with him and then just take him back" but to be honest I now believe this is exactly what she was going to do. I have been naïve and stupid to think otherwise. I wrote the most heartfelt and emotional letter to her explaining how much of a tough decision this has been for me for her to turn around and say this to me.

Sorry for going on but I am completely in shock at it all. everyone ive spoke to has said the same thing. I am just sorry that I did not listen to everyone in the first place when he started with the behaviour knowing the background he came from. I just feel so guilty having to send him back to a life in a stable after giving him a taste of fresh grass and freedom

I am now actively seeking a sane and safe LWVTB, I honestly think this is the only way forward just next time I wont get too attached until I know it's right and I'm paying the cash for him/her.

thank you all for your replies and your help, you have all been a mixture of blunt, a little harsh, supportive, kind and friendly and I will keep coming back here for any future issues!

thanks again,

N xx
 
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