Need a kick up the butt!!! PLEASE

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XxCoriexX

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Now please don't get me wrong, I work hard with my horse, I ride 4-6 times a week and I know what we need to work on I just never feel like I am good enough to go out and compete!
My mare is lovely and puts up with my many failures with the grace that she has, and im sure in more experienced hands she would go beautifully! I have taken her out a few times (always in the ribbons) and at our last competition we were competing at Prelim and managed to get two 70% marks but there was hardly anyone there and so I think that was to our benefit!
I have entered another competition this weekend and am trying not to get too nervous!

I guess what Im asking is does anyone else feel this way? Also people keep telling me to affiliate in my dressage but im not sure when I would feel confident enough to go out at BD.

Don't get me started on jumping....which I love but am too terrified of forgetting the course and making a complete fool of myself to even enter!

Just needing some advice on what I can do to get over these fears....has anyone found anything that helps?
 
You are NOT alone. :) I too was very nervous about competing but more about what everyone else would be thinking about me and my riding rather than actually scared of falling off if that makes sense? It stemmed from a trainer once destroying my confidence in a very (I now realise) cruel and unjustified way to the point that I thought everyone would be laughing at me. I spent some time with a sports psychologist and that really helped me to the point where I am only mildly scared now. It's still a work in progress but actually as long as you are not physically harming your horse during the process (which I very, very much doubt with 70% scores :) ) what does it really matter what anyone else thinks? I KNOW how hard that is to believe but actually apart from you, your horse and the judge in dressage...you really shouldn't care.......
 
I feel exactly the same! I've even had someone say to me "it's ok having a flash horse but are you going to do him justice". So I'm determined to but I'm pooping myself as this year is his first year out competing under saddle. 😁
 
Honestly it is a case that the more you do it the less of a big deal it becomes. If you think of it like starting a new job- the first week you are nervous and the whole thing is a bit traumatic and then after a few months you wonder what all the fuss was about. Try and go and not think about what it is that you're there for- for example I pick venues where the food is good and there's a nice shop- I generally turn up have some nice breakfast, have a wander in the shop and then get on like I'm just there for another ride. I can promise that over time it does get better if you do it often enough :-)
 
thanks guys! its more a case of I know a lot of people who are out competing and for a long time I was a groom at the livery yard they are at. I think when I bought my own horse there was a lot of negative comments from one person and now I know they are all waiting for me to go out so that they can watch and laugh! it makes me feel horrible because when we are at home I ride very well and she is soft and supple but as soon as we go out and I see those people I get nervous so I don't ride in the same way and my poor girl gets awfully confused! most of the comments from the judges are about being more supple and slightly more together which I totally understand!
 
You don't need a kick you need a stroke...lots of confident outgoing people quake at the thought of competing. I suffer from the same thing and was so intimidated by the judgements (my perceived view) of others that I joined a riding club and then never went! Be kind to yourself..I think Im going to visit some training classes and just see the different abilities which are there and hopefully persuade myself that as long as I can enjoy something that it is worthwhile and an end in itself.
 
XxCoriexX said:
thanks guys! its more a case of I know a lot of people who are out competing and for a long time I was a groom at the livery yard they are at. I think when I bought my own horse there was a lot of negative comments from one person and now I know they are all waiting for me to go out so that they can watch and laugh! it makes me feel horrible because when we are at home I ride very well and she is soft and supple but as soon as we go out and I see those people I get nervous so I don't ride in the same way and my poor girl gets awfully confused! most of the comments from the judges are about being more supple and slightly more together which I totally understand!
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I understand. Is there any way you can go further afield to compete at least initially so that there is less chance of bumping into the people who make you feel that way? Or go super early even if it is not necessarily the classes you want to compete in? I did that.....ended up deliberately competing away from my home patch so that I could avoid said trainer and cronies....I realise it may not be possible but worth a try if it is. Once you realise that you CAN do this...confidence will grow, I promise. :)
 
Don't let the b******s keep you down that's what I say!
Gosh some of my performances I'm sure have been painful to watch but tbh most people are so busy with their own that the last thing they are doing is paying attention to you.
Don't let the pathetic, jealous people who want you to do badly affect your dreams, what a waste and who gives a monkey what they think anyway. They are only showing themselves up.
Forget about everyone else, they don't matter. You go out and enjoy your horse. Sometimes you will win and sometimes you won't that's horses and then when someone does give you a compliment when you ride of the ring save it up and think of it on bad days. Some people are actually nice who are watching don't forget that too :).
 
Don't be so hard on yourself - by all means go out to a few competitions and I'm sure it will get easier the more you do but having a horse is so much more than winning a rosette now and again; do you enjoy your horse? Is she happy and healthy? You don't have to prove anything to anyone! x
 
Why don't you take the pressure off yourself and forget about going to shows for a while, instead go and have some lessons and go on clinic's? I often decide not to go to a BS show (which is nice and local to me) and have a lesson instead - I love having lessons. Maybe it's because I'm not that competitive, but I honestly get just as much of a buzz from getting ready and going off for a sj lesson/xc clinic as I do from going to a competition.
 
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