Need a rant and maybe some advice!

[Mylife]

Ok so this involves family issues but I'll try not to go down that road!

So iv had horses for three years and your know what those three years have been hell, taking advice from the wrong people, buying the wrong horses for me and helping people who won't help back, so iv had a 6 month break and by some miracle I still want a horse!

Now my friend got a rescue mare a month ago who I have been riding and she's perfect for me, the last three years made my confidence vanish, on this mare iv been hacking alone, cantering in open spaces and even popped some jumps, so my friend has offered to sell her to me, happy days right?!

Well all we know about her is she has sweetitch, having never dealt with this before idk what to expect, my idea is to keep flys away (rug & spray & bath?!) and feed low sugar diet?? Ride on fly rug and a decent bug buster, maybe even keeping in dawn and dusk?

She is also 18, now this doesn't bother me but it bothers my family, I don't know why but they absolutely do not support it, and I don't know why since iv never asked for their help (no matter how bad I needed it)! But them not being supportive is making me seriously doubt myself, I can feel me getting a new horse going wrong and I don't even have her yet!!

Please let me stress I'd be planning on keeping this mare until then end of her days, I'm 20 years old, currently only got a small job but I'm reasonably qualified in a range of areas and will be job hunting pronto!! I will have another job before I hand money over for her. Although the job I already have will cover her and my needs, I just won't be able to spoil her and it will be a strict budget!

I don't really know what my problem is, I'm just worried! this mare has brought me back from the brink of quitting and my parents being so unhappy about her age and me getting another horse, is really bringing me down, if I were my parents I would be bloody proud of me getting back on a horse after the three years iv had but no they just stuck their noses up! One parent has actually said she would prefer me to get a 2 year old!!! Yeah that will do wonders for my confidence!!

I don't know, cried about this for 6 hours last night I want her so bad but my parents just keep making me worry, anyone who recognises my user will know I am the queen of worrying!!! Xx
Thanks for reading and I am sorry for the rant!

 

[DD265]

I can kind of see where they are coming from.

Owning an older horse can be hard work. Not all will deteriorate but many unfortunately do - what would happen if she starts to suffer with arthritis badly in a year or two and you need to retire her? Can you be happy paying all that money for a field ornament? Sweet itch I would see as less of an issue because it can be managed. Your parents may not understand just how badly your confidence has been affected.

Also what stage are you at in your life? In terms of a house, family etc? I am 26 and have had my horse for almost 11 years - through GCSEs, A Levels, a degree and now in my job, where I commute upwards of 1hr30 each way every day. It's hard and it's expensive. I wouldn't give my boy up for the world but I sometimes regret being into horses (as if I ever had a choice ). Now I'm in a position where it is hard to move out from home and if I wasn't paying out £300 a month in full livery, that would be a huge help.

Maybe your friend would allow you to loan her instead?

 

[Mylife]

Life position I'm pretty lucky, my grandfather has built me a flat in his house, so I live with him rent free honestly retiring her is something I have thought about and I don't mind, it's a case of after this one I'm done, because I want to travel later on in life, so I'm not concerned about only having a small amount of time with her as my steed I just want a horse I am happy to ride thats my own, even if it's just 6 months!

I'm prepared to care for her through her retirement. My friend won't loan as she can't garuntee she will be able to take her back as she regularly takes in needy horses x

Thanks for the reply

 

[Palindrome]

go for it! If you already love the mare you will only regret it later if you don't do it. 18 is not that old and having fun and getting confidence is really important. The last thing you need would be a cheeky 2 years old that you can't even ride, that is bad advice from your parents.

 

[Spotsrock]

My mare was still hunting at 19, stopped jumping at 22, never really her fave, horse in stable next to my lot bsja's at 21.
My mare slowed to just happy hacking at 25 but refused to retire. Eventually fully stopped work at 32, went quietly to sleep with her fave vet and her family round her at 34 due to an illness.
You wont get forever but u might get ur confidence and some fab memories. Mine was 15 when I got her, but so was i we had almost 20 years together.

 

[Mylife]

I have some very supportive friends who can and will get me out of trouble if desperately needed.

She really is amazing, I shocked the yard when I was the first to get on her (not knowing what she would be like, being very brave!!) and we have continued to shock people, I burst into tears the first time I hacked her alone because I honestly thought I would never do that again! Jumping her, I was like no no no then my friends turned away and guess what? We popped that cross pole that was barely 5 cm off the ground lol!! And she loved it we did it a few more times ears forward every time!

She's fit and healthy atm, iv dealt with arthritis before with a loan horse and one of own, I just want her so bad can't believe I have the chance to buy her!

She's just lush, has taught kids to ride yet still has quirks enough to challenge me a little, but not so much I want to get off and cry, just enough for me to feel like iv achieved something xxxxx

 

[Sukistokes2]

When I started riding horses were considered past it at 15, now we have horses going around Badminton at 19!!!!!

My mare worked until she was 28, my gelding was working the week before he was pts at 31. It sounds like your mare has many more miles on clock.
There are things to take in to consideration, things to think about. However I do not think it would be a mistake to buy her if you have really thought things through.

You family feel they have your best interests at heart, however you are an adult and the choice is yours. It is very hard for parents to let go sometimes but in the end it really is not really their business.

 

[Mrs C]

Go for it. She could have years left in her - you could get a younger horse which developed problems so I wouldn't factor in age. Sweetich - manageable and sounds like you've thought about it. If she's right for you, get her and enjoy her x

 

[Lillybob]

She sounds like a truly sweet mare and age shouldn't be worth more than nature. If she does everything you need her to and is good for you, take her! Parents can't always understand when you have a connection with a horse, but I value how a horse makes me feel over age any day, especially if she's fit and healthy now

 

[Mylife]

So right about a younger horse developing problems, my 8yo was Pts earlier this year, because basically from the pelvis down she was ruined I'm gonna go for it she's the best horse iv had in a long time and I feel so safe and happy on her thanks everyone!!

 

[Theocat]

The only thing that would concern me is the fact that you know you want to give up horses and travel at some point. If she's 18 now she could easily have another ten years or even more, and an older horse would be a real tie, with little realistic possibility of rehoming. As long as you're happy with that, go for it!

 

[Alyth]

go for it! If you already love the mare you will only regret it later if you don't do it. 18 is not that old and having fun and getting confidence is really important. The last thing you need would be a cheeky 2 years old that you can't even ride, that is bad advice from your parents.

I agree To the parent that suggests a 2 year old just say 'green on green makes black and blue' and let them think about that one.....safe and sure is a good motto, with any luck you should have another 5+ years with her and she will teach you a lot...and we all know knowledge and experience are priceless.....Good luck and have fun

 

[Red-1]

I would go for it! On the face of it the horse is not a good prospect, a rescue who has sweetitch and who is 18, but the flip side is how she makes you feel. Did you ever read the thread in New Riders and Owners about Angel the pony? That one sounded a whole lot worse, and gave the owner so much fun, while the pony had a FAB life.

Planning on travelling would not put me off either. My deal with my horses is that while they are mine I will do the very best I can for them, and if we have to part ways then I do that in the best way I can, finding the right home above what money I get, and I would even consider PTS if I could not find the right home and the horse was older or had problems. In 40 odd years I have only had 2 PTS, and both of those had a home for life as they had been with me for so long they grew into that role, but when I get a horse they do not automatically get a home for life, they have to grow into that role.

I would factor in the sweet itch as in needing a daytime stable in summer and a fly sheet or 3. How they make you feel is something you can't put a price on.

 

[Tinypony]

She could still be with you in 10+ years, so factor that in. Face facts, it won't be fair to start trying to re-home her when she's into her 20's (I don't think so anyway). So when do you plan to travel? Could you have her pts if she's healthy and happy as suggested above just because you want to travel? So think about the future because at this stage in life she might be able to find a forever home, she sounds great.
Sweetitch - plan for the worst and hope for better. I have an oldie who has not had sweetitch for two years now, which I can only attribute to his changed diet. Sweetitch can be managed very well in some cases and without a lot of stabling, but you'll be guessing on that one.

After you've taken all that into account - you're an adult. Your parents clearly know little about horses if they think you should get a 2 year old so you need to sit down and have one, sensible, conversation with them telling them that you will make your own decision on this and expect their support, or at least silence if they can't be supportive. Then go with your heart I guess!

 

[misskk88]

I
She really is amazing, I shocked the yard when I was the first to get on her (not knowing what she would be like, being very brave!!) and we have continued to shock people, I burst into tears the first time I hacked her alone because I honestly thought I would never do that again! Jumping her, I was like no no no then my friends turned away and guess what? We popped that cross pole that was barely 5 cm off the ground lol!! And she loved it we did it a few more times ears forward every time!

She's fit and healthy atm, iv dealt with arthritis before with a loan horse and one of own, I just want her so bad can't believe I have the chance to buy her!

She's just lush, has taught kids to ride yet still has quirks enough to challenge me a little, but not so much I want to get off and cry, just enough for me to feel like iv achieved something xxxxx

That first paragraph really is all that matters. Horses like this are rare to find, and as long as you are happy with her age, are realistic about potential age related issues (not all horses get them though!) and can afford her and to manage them, then go for it.

I understand your parents concern, but having bought my first horse at 19... and 7 years later still having my mum tell me I am mad for spending money on a horse... I think unless they are horsey people themselves they never stop worrying about the financial and safety aspects. What's funny is, my mum hated me for purchasing my first ever horse... Now I have a new one, she still nags at me why I ever sold him as she loved him! WHAT!

She sounds lovely, and fun, and everything you need... why miss the opportunity?

 

[paddi22]

if you want to travel you will have to factor in some way of looking after her while you are away. She is only 18 - I had one that lived till 30, so she could have tons of time ahead of her. You have to factor in a worst case scenario of you travelling and what you would do if her sweetitch or arthritis became a big issue. What will you do if you are away?

You are so young. You will have different ideas about what you want in your life later on, you might fall in love and want to emigrate or anything. If you take this horse on (and she sounds lovely) you have to factor in what you will do if your life circumstances change.

 

[FestiveFuzz]

I agree with the others, the one thing that stood out to me is your desire to travel. I wouldn't assume just because she's older she won't be around long. A family friend of ours had her NF mare put to sleep when she was 42! The other thing to consider is she may not have the scope to do what you want once you've gained your confidence back. Would you be happy to pay for her and a second horse if your interests change?

If you're set on getting her I would advise a 2 stage vetting, just to check there aren't any immediate health concerns, particularly with her eyes or heart.

 

[paddi22]

is there any way you could take her on a long term loan?

 

[Mylife]

Well I want to re vamp my life in 30's travel probs 40's I basically see now as my horse time, 30's education/career time, 40's travelling stuff, it prob won't go like that but basically because of my messed up childhood now I'm working and driving I'm taking the time to enjoy myself now, iv never had a horse I can ride and really want this one!

I just worry massively about anything and everything! Xx

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Forgive me for saying this, but you'd need to think long and hard about two issues: the age of the horse AND the sweet itch issue.

My boy is 18, I bought him knowing full well he had sweet itch, simply because I liked him and he suited me. Because I've got my own place I can keep him at home, but do bear in mind that you will encounter difficulties if you go to the average yard and say you've got a horse with sweet itch as you could very well be turned down, so that could be your first difficulty.

Also you need to bear in mind the very real difficulties managing a horse with SI presents. Yes, once you've sorted your "routine", then its fairly straightforward, BUT you will have to bear in mind the cost of replacing SI rugs if yours is anything like mine and is very capable of trashing them!!! Also you'll have to consider what sort of fields you turn out in as anything with barbed wire fencing, or trees, or even post and rails, will wreck a rug. If you at a yard, and your SI horse trashes the fences, you may be asked to pay the costs of replacing and/or repairing, and you will have to be very fussy about electric fencing off a section of the field so that yours cannot rub on anything (I can do that easily, as its my own place, but at a lot of yards you wouldn't be able to dictate turnout). Also you will need to choose your yard with great care so that you find grazing/turnout which is high up and breezy, anywhere low-lying and/or with stagnant water and you will make the whole SI situation a whole lot worse. That is, if, like I say, you can find anywhere to take a horse with SI. I'm a YO, and sorry, but I wouldn't here coz know what can happen with SI horses and wrecked fences!

You also may have to stable the horse during hot, balmy weather, during the dawn/dusk period - all of which will cost you more £££ which if you're already on a shoestring budget, will seriously squeeze you.

Plus the costs of supplements, lotions & potions, etc etc.

THEN, on top of all this, you've got the age issue, which can't be ignored. This is the age where things could well start to happen: you say she was a rescue - so you've no idea if anything could be developing. Whatever, the care and management of a veteran is gonna work out pretty costly whichever way you look at it unfortunately, there's no way of ignoring that fact.

Sorry not wanting to discourage you OP, but I'd never ever recommend anyone on a limited budget to consider a horse with age issues AND sweet itch. Yes you love this mare to bits, but you'd be far better allowing your friend to keep her, for now, and you perhaps ride her/look after her as and when, than take her on and then find you can't afford it, which would be tragic for you both.

The worst possible scenario would be if you went for this horse just to prove your family wrong, kind of thing. IF you are determined to go for her, then sit down and do your sums - and then quadruple them basically - because this horse is going to cost you, both in the short and longer term. You may end up too, having to make a decision about her sooner than you want to.......... just when you've got really fond of her.

IF you're committed to having your own horse, I'd be inclined to look for something a little more trouble-free, and at the younger end of the market. If as you say you want to travel at some stage, then maybe you need to just enjoy this mare that your friend has at the moment, and let the friend stay as her "owner"????? Rather than you go for the commitment of taking on a veteran AND sweet itch all at the same time.

 

[JillA]

go for it! If you already love the mare you will only regret it later if you don't do it. 18 is not that old and having fun and getting confidence is really important. The last thing you need would be a cheeky 2 years old that you can't even ride, that is bad advice from your parents.

Echo this - and prove them all wrong. You know what you want, you have the means to deal with it, don't let them talk you into something unsuitable. Sweetitch can be a pain but so can having a horse you don't trust and that is way less manageable than SI. Go for it and good luck - as for the so-called "help", run it by those on here who have experience, you aren't on your own.

 

[Elsbells]

Y

My mare was still hunting at 19, stopped jumping at 22, never really her fave, horse in stable next to my lot bsja's at 21.
My mare slowed to just happy hacking at 25 but refused to retire. Eventually fully stopped work at 32, went quietly to sleep with her fave vet and her family round her at 34 due to an illness.
You wont get forever but u might get ur confidence and some fab memories. Mine was 15 when I got her, but so was i we had almost 20 years together.

That is so lovely and should give you the reason to say op, "to hell with the lot of you.......I'm having her!!."

 

[BorgRae]

Forgive me for saying this, but you'd need to think long and hard about two issues: the age of the horse AND the sweet itch issue.

My boy is 18, I bought him knowing full well he had sweet itch, simply because I liked him and he suited me. Because I've got my own place I can keep him at home, but do bear in mind that you will encounter difficulties if you go to the average yard and say you've got a horse with sweet itch as you could very well be turned down, so that could be your first difficulty.

Also you need to bear in mind the very real difficulties managing a horse with SI presents. Yes, once you've sorted your "routine", then its fairly straightforward, BUT you will have to bear in mind the cost of replacing SI rugs if yours is anything like mine and is very capable of trashing them!!! Also you'll have to consider what sort of fields you turn out in as anything with barbed wire fencing, or trees, or even post and rails, will wreck a rug. If you at a yard, and your SI horse trashes the fences, you may be asked to pay the costs of replacing and/or repairing, and you will have to be very fussy about electric fencing off a section of the field so that yours cannot rub on anything (I can do that easily, as its my own place, but at a lot of yards you wouldn't be able to dictate turnout). Also you will need to choose your yard with great care so that you find grazing/turnout which is high up and breezy, anywhere low-lying and/or with stagnant water and you will make the whole SI situation a whole lot worse. That is, if, like I say, you can find anywhere to take a horse with SI. I'm a YO, and sorry, but I wouldn't here coz know what can happen with SI horses and wrecked fences!

You also may have to stable the horse during hot, balmy weather, during the dawn/dusk period - all of which will cost you more £££ which if you're already on a shoestring budget, will seriously squeeze you.

Plus the costs of supplements, lotions & potions, etc etc.

THEN, on top of all this, you've got the age issue, which can't be ignored. This is the age where things could well start to happen: you say she was a rescue - so you've no idea if anything could be developing. Whatever, the care and management of a veteran is gonna work out pretty costly whichever way you look at it unfortunately, there's no way of ignoring that fact.

Sorry not wanting to discourage you OP, but I'd never ever recommend anyone on a limited budget to consider a horse with age issues AND sweet itch. Yes you love this mare to bits, but you'd be far better allowing your friend to keep her, for now, and you perhaps ride her/look after her as and when, than take her on and then find you can't afford it, which would be tragic for you both.

The worst possible scenario would be if you went for this horse just to prove your family wrong, kind of thing. IF you are determined to go for her, then sit down and do your sums - and then quadruple them basically - because this horse is going to cost you, both in the short and longer term. You may end up too, having to make a decision about her sooner than you want to.......... just when you've got really fond of her.

IF you're committed to having your own horse, I'd be inclined to look for something a little more trouble-free, and at the younger end of the market. If as you say you want to travel at some stage, then maybe you need to just enjoy this mare that your friend has at the moment, and let the friend stay as her "owner"????? Rather than you go for the commitment of taking on a veteran AND sweet itch all at the same time.

I think there's some excellent advice here that shouldn't be ignored. Good luck OP in whatever you decide, but remember, there are other horses out there. I know you have fallen for this mare, but it would break your heart even more if it turned out you couldnt afford to look after her.

 

[Elsbells]

And just to add, what about all those young field ornament horses we all know of that are permanently lame, have kissing spines, navicular etc and will never be ridden? Surely an oldie but goody is a much better option?

 

[OWLIE185]

I started owning horses in my mid to late 20'sw and have owned three horses in my lifetime. The first one I bought as an 8 year old and lost at 26, the second one I bought as a 7 year old and lost at 29 and the third one I bought as a four year old and is about 7 years old now. All of them have been ridden up to the very end and I have had great fun with them. I also have an adopted horse who was 18 when I adopted her and she is still going strong at 27 and is still ridden (she is on medication for Cushings and has regular vet check ups. so is a little bit more expensive to keep). You need to build yourself up a nice healthy reserve of money so that if anything goes wrong and your horse needs veterinary treatment that you are able to pay for it without worrying where the money is going to come from.

 

[Behati]

One very important thing which we are constantly told in life, and we never abide by it or remember it in our times of need - "Do what makes you happy". And that is all that matters, not anyone elses opinions, not your doubts. Your feelings. If you act on someone elses words that is what they want and not what you want, so you will never be happy. Buy her if you want her, and you will learn how to take caare of her. It doesn't sound like a big deal to me. Sweet itch can be treated and age happens to any horse. There is no problem if you dont see one

 

[lhotse]

Deleted

 

[Mylife]

Yes I was, he used to be mine but he was the reason I lost my confidence, new owner needed to move him on and I was worried about him finding a new home because of his issues and considered taking him back regardless of the fact he scared me, just to be a field ornament because I was concerned when he would end up, since then new owner passed him on to someone for sale and return and she has found him a more experience home that can cope with him, so yes I have had 6 months off owning a horse thanks!

If anything Ihotse your comment has sealed the deal for me, if I was willing to take on a horse I loved that was 9 and destined to be non ridden with me, I'm sure I can handle a lovely natured mare I can get some enjoyment out of!!

**********NEW INFO***********

Have found out that last year she was left out with sweetitch untreated, my friend got her at the beginning of winter, her mane was scurfy but intact and no damage on her tail, so although I will still treat her as if it she is a serious case in the summer I don't think she will have problems!

We are already in at a new yard field is high up and breezy no stagnant water, and one of her companions (owned by my best friend, who I have shared a yard with before so I know we will be happy together) has severe photo sensitivity so she gets treated like a sweetitch case, so if she needs to come in she will have company, and my friend and i can share management techniques and help each other

Also I have spoken to current owner who is more than happy to take her back should I need her too, and will help with advice and support wherever needed x

 

[Red-1]

Sounds fantastic. When do we get photos?????

 

[3OldPonies]

Go for it. She could have years left in her - you could get a younger horse which developed problems so I wouldn't factor in age. Sweetich - manageable and sounds like you've thought about it. If she's right for you, get her and enjoy her x

^^^ This.